The Lost Sexuality Game

[Bright Pink]

I came round the corner near the theatre and ran straight into a huge Ork. I threw my sexuality at it's face to cover its eyes and ran like crazy.

TPBM lost there's somewhere up the Magic Faraway Tree.

[Ace-TheTimelordsCompanion]

They don't allow sexualities there, in case they scare the children. I wasn't going to miss out on all that adventure! When I came back down the tree Dame Washalot had scrubbed my sexuality out and hung it up to dry. I was thanking her, my back was turned for a moment, it wriggled out of the pegs and ran away! I have seen it skulking round the tree occasionally, but ever since that day it refuses to talk to me.

That's nothing compared to the 'adventure' TPBM had when they lost their sexuality in Neverland

[Andiamo]

It turns out that sexualities are just as easily detached from bodies as shadows are! I think my sexuality might have used a little extra fairy dust when I wasn't looking, because it flew away before I could stop it. Next thing I knew, it had joined the pirates. We don't talk any more.

At least I wasn't the one who lost my sexuality at school!

[Casimir]

What's the big deal? Some people lose pencils or their homework, I happened to lose my sexuality! It's not that weird! So, what happened was when we were boarding the school bus to go home one day, it got on the wrong bus. I was distracted, okay! It had been a stressful day and I was looking forward to going home. How was I supposed to know it would wander off? The last time I saw it, it was cuddling up to the popular kid on the bus going in the opposite direction. I still see it at school, but it seems happy, so I leave it alone.

Wasn't there someone who lost their's in the desert?

[Crylliac's Backup]

Oh man, you have no idea how much stuff is lost in the Australian desert. I would not be surprised if everyone's sexuality is in there. You'd never, ever find them again. Funny story about mine though. We were driving this big tanker to the nearby bullet farm to get some bullets for this cult leader we worked for, but I had a secret plan to escape. Halfway to the farm, I turned left, instead of going straight. A whole bunch of incredibly cool things happened, but while I was trying to escape from a bunch of my pursuers, I ran into a giant sandstorm. My poor sexuality got whipped away by the massive storm, never to be seen again. Poor little guy.

I heard that TPBM's sexuality was captured by the dread pirate Roberts.

[kel naismith]

Technically we were both captured by the Dread Pirate Roberts, but after a very long adventure involving shrieking eels, I managed to escape. My sexuality stayed behind, and once the previous one retired, became the new Dread Pirate Roberts, and is currently plundering near Florin.

I hear the person below me's sexuality got lost in the washing machine.

[Casimir]

Well, not lost exactly. More like I can't figure out which one is my sexuality. See, my sexuality likes taking a spin in the washer, don't ask me why I don't know. Anyway, it was taking a spin with my whites. Apparently a new red shirt got mixed in, so everything turned out pink. Everything. Even my sexuality! Everything looks the same! My sexuality seems to think it's a game, because it isn't giving away any clues. I bleached them all to turn them white again, but nope, it's still hiding from me! So I'm just going to donate them all and start over fresh with a new sexuality. There always seems to be a spare one laying around.

Did you hear about that time when TPBM sold their sexuality on the black market? Wonder how much they got for it...

[Scott1989]

Well, I didn't sell it. My sexuality went to Paris with a friend to follow U2 in their European tour. People broke into their apartment that they were staying in. I tried to guide it to safety over the phone. It hid under the bed and but got "Taken", while I was on the phone. The kidnapper picked up the phone so I said the following:

I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom I can tell you I don't have money, but what I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my sexuality go now that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you, but if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you and I will kill you.

Their Response was:

Good Luck

I have 96 hours until I'll lose it forever. I'm off to rescue it before it's sold in the black market.

Heard TPBM lost theirs at a fish and chip shop

[Munchykin]

Well, in my defense, my sexuality never told me it had a severe seafood allergy. It took a bite of the fish I bought for it, and next thing I knew it was being whisked away to the hospital. I haven't heard from it since.

I heard an interesting tidbit about the person below me, though: apparantly they lost their sexuality in a game of Quidditch.

[kel naismith]

Well, we were playing as Keeper together when I saw Angelina Johnson coming in with the quaffle. I yelled out "Chaser", and my sexuality heard it as "chase her" and took off after her. I haven't seen it since. (That said, we won the match, which is what really matters in the end)

I heard tpbm somehow lost theirs while buying a new carpet.

[Andiamo]

It's not my fault! There were just so many carpets to choose from, and I had to make sure I got the right one! My sexuality really reminds me of a little kid sometimes, because it got bored and lay down on the floor while I was still choosing a carpet. Next thing I knew, it was gone! I did see it later, in somebody's shopping cart. They must have thought that my sexuality was a carpet. I'm not really surprised, it did have a very nice floral pattern on it. They had already paid for it though, so I wasn't going to take it back. It was always so hard to take care of anyway, I'm probably better off without it.

It is kind of impressive that the person below me managed to lose their sexuality in their own house.

[Scott1989]

Well it's not my fault. I believe in orginised chaos. Just cause it's messy I know where everything is. My mum came in and tidied my room without telling me. I don't know where she put it. Funny thing is I'm always told I won't lose things if I keep my room tidy. Months of leaving it a mess, lost nothing. Tiding up my room, can't find my sexuality.

Heard TPBM lost theirs in seaworld

[Aceade]

True, it fell into the shark tank.

I hear that TPBM lost their sexuality in a volcano, and it caused Sauron to logic bomb.

[Starfalcon]

Yeah, well it was the only way to save Middle Earth.

I hear that TPBM lost their sexuality due to an incident with a dragon.

[Zargos]

Yes, he breathed fire and incinerated my sexuality. But I prefer not to dwell on the details of that incident *ahem*

I heard that TPBM had theirs stolen.

[Andiamo]

Yeah, that was mine. There is a reward, if any of you find it. The reward: you can keep the sexuality. I've found that I really don't need it, after all!

The person below me was the one who lost their sexuality in a library, right?

[Scott1989]

Yeah, it was making too much noise in the library, and the librarian threw it out. I had to check out a book quickly before meeting up with it outside, but by the time I got out, it was gone!

Ohh well, I heard TPBM lost theirs at an e-sport event.

[Aceade]

Yep. Some sneaky French assassin in a suit and balaclava tried to backstab me, but my sexuality got in the way.

I hear TBPM lost theirs while being

.

[Bright Pink]

I got hungry with all that running and stopped to eat some fruit. The polar bear caught me, but let me go in exchange for my sexuality.

TPBM lost theirs in a tree.

[Casimir]

It wasn't just any tree! It was an Ent from Middle Earth! I was minding my own business, wandering through the woods, when I feel my sexuality get snagged on something. It's kinda clumsy so I didn't really think anything of it. Then, I turn around and find it's been scooped up by an Ent! I don't know if you've met an Ent before, but they are big, rough and rather scary looking. I love Lord of the Rings as much as the next person, but I'm no Pippin or Merry. As such, I took a quick selfie (for proof of course!) and promptly ran away screaming. It was a pretty good selfie all things considered. Anyway, I'm not sure what happened to my sexuality. I gathered my courage and tried to find my way back to where I lost it, but I could never seem to find the spot! I suspect it was taken back to Middle Earth and is not trying to destroy the One Ring. I'm kind of jealous actually...

Enough of that. Remind me, didn't someone lose theirs in a dream or something like that?

[Bright Pink]

That's right. I was dreaming of a huge chocolate cake. It still needed icing so I mixed up a big bowl of icing, but my sexuality fell in. I accidentally spread in on the cake. Later that day all my friends from AVEN came by and someone ate it. I don't know who, but I guess we could find out by seeing who left the forum lately.

TPBM lost theirs in the Honeymoon suite of a posh hotel.

[Casimir]

Uuuuugh, don't remind me. I was on vacation with my best friend right? We were staying at this super nice hotel for a nigh but someone messed up and the room we booked was taken. The manager felt really bad and, assuming my friend and I were in a relationship, decided to allow us to stay in the Honeymoon suite. We were so embarrassed! We tried to tell them, no, we are NOT in a relationship, but they just laughed and ushered us to the room. Finally, we decided we might as well not waste the nice room, and we settled in. We're close enough that sharing a room doesn't bother us anyway. I should probably mention that my sexuality was far too excited about this development. I'm pretty sure it thought I would finally listen to it and do stuff with my friend. Yeah no. It didn't happen. We spent the night in the room and moved on the next day, nothing happened. My sexuality was extremely disappointed and decided to stay behind in the hopes of attaching itself to the next people to use the room. Said it was feeling "pent up"... *shurg* I wish it all the luck! In case you were wondering, the rest of the vacation was marvelous.

Hey, did you hear about the person that lost their sexuality in a thumb war?

[Bright Pink]

I was playing thumb wars with myself and I kept losing. My sexuality was so bored and disgusted it just wandered off. Last I heard it had set up a very successful boxing gym.

TPBM lost their sexuality in the maternity ward.

[Zargos]

Yeah it happened just after my birth. My sexuality seemingly didn't approve of the person it was assigned to so it just kind of disowned me.

I heard TPBM lost theirs at the dentist.

[Bright Pink]

Turns out my sexuality was really scared of dentists. I said it could wait in the waiting room, but when I came back it was gone.

TPBM lost theirs at a bakery.

[Casper Smith]

So I was making a batch of croissants, when after they were baked I couldn't find my sexuality.

TPBM kind of lost theirs in Transylvania. Or so I heard.

[Bright Pink]

I have very difficult to find veins, so when a vampire caught me and tried to suck my blood, he sucked out my sexuality instead. The good news is that he really liked it and now he is hunting for more, so there will be some new comers to AVEN soon.

TPBM lost theirs at the North Pole.

[Casimir]

*sniff* It is a truly tragic tale! There I was, deep within the North Pole, searching for Santa's Workshop! It was pitch black, with the only light guiding me being the stars and the Aurora Borealis shimmering above me. The air was so cold it seared my lungs with every breath. I had been on this journey for 2 weeks now. Food was starting to run low. I was hunting to supplement what food I had brought and stretching every morsel to make it last as long as possible. I was determined. But as time went on with no result, I was getting worn down. My sexuality was so brave! It would wrap itself around me to keep me warm and encourage me when I felt it was hopeless. But the North Pole is merciless. I had thought I was prepared, but nothing can truly prepare you for that freezing, barren landscape. It finally came to the point that I would have to return or I would die. Downtrodden and exhausted, I turned back. Hour after hour, I grew weaker. I simply didn't have enough food, and I had little energy to hunt. I talked with my sexuality and we agreed that the only way that I would make it to the safe station, was if I abandoned some gear. We were gambling on the chance that increasing the distance I'd travel would outweigh the loss of some of my gear. But this wouldn't be a tragedy if everything turned out nicely, would it? I was hours away from the station, and almost unable to move. I wouldn't make it. My sexuality refused to let me die there! So it left me, bundled up and as protected as it could make me, as it soldiered out into the darkness. I fell unconscious with my last glimpse being my sexuality as it waves to me, promising to get help.

A day or so later, I awake in the station, warm and alive. The scientists there inform me that my sexuality had stumbled in out of the snow, nearly frozen and desperate. It refused treatment and warmth and insisted they form a party and go get me! The scientists saw there they had no chance of changing my sexualities mind, so they geared up and set out. Thanks to my sexuality's incredible memory, they found me in record time. They rushed me back to the station and began treatment on us right away. I was lucky. I escaped with light frostbite and a nasty cold. My sexuality...was not so lucky. It was dreadfully sick. There was nothing the scientists could do and there were no hospitals anywhere in the North Pole. It would be impossible to transport my sexuality to a hospital in time.

I was completely devastated. My sexuality had supported me my whole life! Sure, we didn't have the same opinions on sex and romance, but we loved each other! It had comforted me when I was sad, encouraged me when I was depressed! It had exposed itself to the elements and wrapped around me to keep me warm. It had headed out, unprotected, into the snow to save my life! And I could do nothing to save it! It sacrificed itself for me! I never left its side once as the end of its life drew near. It had so little time left, that it only took a couple of hours. I was there as the life drained out of it. I clutched it to me, sobbing and screaming! Begging it not to go! These were its last words to me, "I'm sorry. I never should have encouraged you to prove the Santa disbelievers wrong. But don't cry. Being Ace isn't...so...bad..." And it was gone. It faded away right in my arms. It felt like I had lost a part of myself. I screamed and cursed the gods until the scientists pulled me away.

I went back to my home a couple days later and held a proper funeral. All the people who once had crushes on me also showed up to mourn my sexuality. The pain isn't so bad now, months later. I've moved on, as I know it wanted me to. I'm grateful to it everyday. And it was right! Being asexual isn't so bad after all!

I need something to cheer me up. Didn't I hear about a time where someone lost their sexuality in the Lost and Found?

[Crylliac's Backup]

Funny story, actually. I was helping a friend look for their sexuality. They had recently lost it at a theme park, so we went to the lost and found there to see if anyone had picked it up. Turns out a lot of people had lost theirs at the park! There was this big box of lost sexualities there. Like, a huge box. It could've been used as a ball pit, honestly. Anyway, me and my friend jumped in to try to find my friend's, but it was in vain! After that, we went on a few rides, ate some food, really made a day of it. As we were driving away, however, we noticed that I had dropped my sexuality somewhere! It was probably in the sexuality ball pit. We were going to go back, but it had been a big day and we were tired, so we just went home. Should probably go looking for it someday, but the cake here at Aven is waaaaay too nice >.>

I heard that TPBM was practising magic when they suddenly hit their sexuality with a spell!

[karnzter]

Yup. I was trying to practice and master the spell for making amazing cakes and cookies when I accidentally yelled out the wrong chant, gasped in shock while walking backwards, tripped on a stray rug, slipped back flat and hit my sexuality with the whole wrong spell.

A little cookie cutter told me that the person below me lost their sexuality while stargazing (I'm so sorry! I'm short of ideas D:)