How do I make her accept herself?

[Slayerin96]

I met this woman (also from my country) on a lyrics translating website when I was 17 (now I am 20). One day she approached me on the chat and this is how we started talking. Even if she is 11 years older than me, she seemed to enjoy talking to me, which is why our conversations on that website's chat became more and more frequent. We became friends on facebook one year later. We discovered that we have a lot in common and we got to know each other very well. Bit by bit, we've grown very fond of each other despite the fact that we've never met in real life to this day (we live in different cities). At some point I summoned up my courage and came out to her about being aromantic and demisexual and her reaction was super positive. She accepts and understands me all the way through, in every aspect, like no one else does. We've formed a very strong bond. She is now my dearest friend and she is the person I care about the most. We trust each other a lot. She's shared some personal things with me because she felt the need to talk to someone and we figured out that she is asexual. She's suffered a lot because men wouldn't understand her way of being. Each time I struggle to make her understand that I accept her the way she is and that I would never judge her because she fears that there is something wrong with her. Every now and then she gets sad and it hurts me. I am the one who understands her the best in this regard because I am also a person whose orientation is unusual. Every time I offer her all my compassion and understanding and she feels safe, but I wish so much I could find a way to make her accept herself and understand once and for all that there is nothing wrong with her. I love her so much and it hurts me to see her like this. What could I do to help her understand that she is perfectly alright and that there is nothing she should be ashamed of?

[bxcellent2eo]

Unfortunately, there's no way you can 'make' her feel anything about herself. All you can do is keep encouraging her, and reassuring her that there's nothing wrong with her.

Once someone feels and believes something negative, especially if it was brought about by trauma (not sure if that's her case), it takes a lot to undo those feelings. It may never completely be resolved, but it can get better just by showing your support and making her feel safe and loved.

[Grumpy Alien]

It's often hard to accept and there isn't much you can do about that. What you can do is be there for her and remind her of the truth - there's nothing wrong with her. Maybe provide resources but mostly just an ear and shoulder.

[Slayerin96]

Thank you for the advice :).