Concealed ID Posted February 19, 2006 Share Posted February 19, 2006 Not for sexuals: Have you ever felt yourself attracted to a person in a way that is different from the platonic attraction of (as Dargon puts it) kittens and sunsets? I'm talking about a powerful attraction (a crush?), the thing that would be referred to by a sexual as sexual attraction, but it doesn't necessarily make you want to have sex with that person. Link to post Share on other sites
Xenon Posted February 19, 2006 Share Posted February 19, 2006 Point of information: A "crush" is often an emotional attraction, not a physical one... Have I had crushes on people? Occasionally. Have I wanted to have sex with the people I had a crush on? No. Link to post Share on other sites
Concealed ID Posted February 19, 2006 Author Share Posted February 19, 2006 Yes, that's the point. The point is that you can feel the same attraction as a sexual, but that this attraction doesn't have to mean that you want to have sex with that person (sexual desire.) See this topic: http://www.asexuality.org/discussion/viewtopic.php?t=14163 (I know you've seen this Torgo, but I thought I'd link to it for other people.) Link to post Share on other sites
Xenon Posted February 19, 2006 Share Posted February 19, 2006 Okay, now I'm confused. Your original post in that other thread talks about "sexual attraction". Now you're saying that the above poll isn't about sexual attraction??? Link to post Share on other sites
Brodertun Posted February 19, 2006 Share Posted February 19, 2006 I'm talking about a powerful attraction (a crush?), the thing that would be referred to by a sexual as sexual attraction, but it doesn't necessarily make you want to have sex with that person. This dosn't make sense. An aesthetic attraction is one based on looks. A platonic attraction is one based on friendship. A sexual attraction is one based on sexual feelings. You seem to be ignoring the difference between aesthtic attraction and sexual attraction with this question. As I've said the two give you feelings in different parts of yoru body. And if you've felt them both in isolation you'll know its not possible to deny the difference between the two. In fact my sexual attraction rarely is for those that I have an aesthtic attraction for, although the last guy had looks so far into my ugly category I found myself surprised to be liking him that way. I know that urger grew out of the familiarity or platonic attraction but the two are still very different. Link to post Share on other sites
cait Posted February 19, 2006 Share Posted February 19, 2006 It wouldn't be referred to as sexual attraction by anyone if you're not sexually attracted, you don't feel the desire to have sex with the person. It would be something else, wouldn't it? Yes, I thought so. Can't you have powerful platonic feelings for a person though? Like a platonic crush? ;p Well I can, anyway. I don't know if you're talking about physical attraction or what there. Maybe something on a deeply emotional level though? I don't know quite what you mean, basically. Link to post Share on other sites
Brodertun Posted February 19, 2006 Share Posted February 19, 2006 It wouldn't be referred to as sexual attraction by anyone if you're not sexually attracted, you don't feel the desire to have sex with the person. It would be something else, wouldn't it? Yes, I thought so. There's a idfference between being sexually attracted to someone and being sexually attracted to someone and wanting to actually engage in sex with them as well. This why some say they are sexually attracted but have no sex drive. Link to post Share on other sites
Rabger Posted February 19, 2006 Share Posted February 19, 2006 I don't think you explain what you mean enough for me to actually give an answer. You could easily be talking about romantic attraction, since many sexuals consider romantic and sexual attraction to be linked. There are also various levels of aesthetic attraction. Such, a picture and a statue could both be aesthetic, but sometimes one holds a much more powerful interest to you. It doesn't mean you're sexually attracted to it, of course. But you could have your reasons, such that its more related to a personal topic of interest, and so sparks your intelliectual interest more. Link to post Share on other sites
Rabger Posted February 19, 2006 Share Posted February 19, 2006 Yes, that's the point. The point is that you can feel the same attraction as a sexual, but that this attraction doesn't have to mean that you want to have sex with that person (sexual desire.) You seem to be completely blurring the lines between sexual desire, sexual attraction, and romantic attraction when it comes to sexuals. Just because they may experience it all, doesn't mean that its all the same. It's still different, and I think that's why you and others are getting so confused. An emotional attraction, a crush, doesnt necessarily have to be sexual for a sexual either! Link to post Share on other sites
starrysky Posted February 19, 2006 Share Posted February 19, 2006 Have you ever felt yourself attracted to a person in a way that is different from the platonic attraction of (as Dargon puts it) kittens and sunsets? I'm talking about a powerful attraction (a crush?), the thing that would be referred to by a sexual as sexual attraction, but it doesn't necessarily make you want to have sex with that person. Wouldn't the definition of sexual attraction be "the thing that makes you want to have sex with that person?" It seems to me there can't be such a thing as sexual attaction that doesn't make you want to have sex with someone. I answered yes to the poll, but that doesn't mean I had sexual thoughts about the person. Link to post Share on other sites
Brodertun Posted February 19, 2006 Share Posted February 19, 2006 Wouldn't the definition of sexual attraction be "the thing that makes you want to have sex with that person?" It seems to me there can't be such a thing as sexual attaction that doesn't make you want to have sex with someone. I'm willing to be 100 Us dollars (and not KZ tenge ) that you've never experienced either sexual attraction or sexual desire or that if you have you are confusing desire for attraction, which are two different things. Link to post Share on other sites
Concealed ID Posted February 19, 2006 Author Share Posted February 19, 2006 To stop there being two discussion about the same thing, I'm going to reply in this topic: http://www.asexuality.org/discussion/viewtopic.php?t=14163 Please post all your questions in the above topic instead of this poll. Here is my answer: http://www.asexuality.org/discussion/viewt...p=382177#382177 Link to post Share on other sites
starrysky Posted February 19, 2006 Share Posted February 19, 2006 Wouldn't the definition of sexual attraction be "the thing that makes you want to have sex with that person?" It seems to me there can't be such a thing as sexual attaction that doesn't make you want to have sex with someone. I'm willing to be 100 Us dollars (and not KZ tenge ) that you've never experienced either sexual attraction or sexual desire or that if you have you are confusing desire for attraction, which are two different things. If the expression sexual attraction does not mean feeling an attraction that makes you want to have sex with that person, then I do not even know what it means. I like men, some of them are cuter than others, and I am married to one. I don't want to have sex with them though. I don't want to have sex with women either, but I don't feel the same way about them that I do men. Is that sexual attraction towards men? Link to post Share on other sites
maco Posted February 20, 2006 Share Posted February 20, 2006 i answered yes because i have romantic attraction and aesthetic attraction for people (often not for the same people, however) Link to post Share on other sites
Lady Heartilly Posted February 20, 2006 Share Posted February 20, 2006 Yes, definitely. I'd even like to get married someday. Link to post Share on other sites
Shoes Posted February 20, 2006 Share Posted February 20, 2006 Easy yes, limerence and infatuations/crushes have definitely hit me more than once. Link to post Share on other sites
KAGU143 Posted February 20, 2006 Share Posted February 20, 2006 Neither one of your choices applies to me, so I can't answer your poll. Emotional attraction is NOT sexual attraction. They are as different as night and day! If you can't understand this, then I don't see how I can possibly communicate with you on this topic. I'm running late this morning so I don't have time to ellucidate, but if you wish I will try to explain it later. A place to start is this: Ask yourself "How many emotional needs do human beings have, and how many of those needs can be satisfied by having a significant other? Hint: An attraction to a potential friend due to common interests, similar personality types or etc. fits every criteria for emotional attraction, but it has no sexual aspect to it at all. It also has nothing in common with an attraction to beautiful things. -Greybird Link to post Share on other sites
cait Posted February 20, 2006 Share Posted February 20, 2006 It wouldn't be referred to as sexual attraction by anyone if you're not sexually attracted, you don't feel the desire to have sex with the person. It would be something else, wouldn't it? Yes, I thought so. There's a idfference between being sexually attracted to someone and being sexually attracted to someone and wanting to actually engage in sex with them as well. This why some say they are sexually attracted but have no sex drive. Like, if somebody turned you on, but you didn't actually want to go through with it? Like watching porn or something? Can't say that's ever happened to me, no. Link to post Share on other sites
KleenexCow Posted February 22, 2006 Share Posted February 22, 2006 I will get plutonic crushes on people that I know very well and are very comfortable around, but no sexual attraction. Link to post Share on other sites
Abbey Normal Posted February 22, 2006 Share Posted February 22, 2006 Very VERY rarely I've felt emotionally attracted to people, but it's never progressed beyond totally non-physical emotional attraction, and it usually goes away really quickly. There's been maybe two people I've actually felt sort of attracted to. It definitely was never sexual in any way. Link to post Share on other sites
DarkcatXXC Posted February 23, 2006 Share Posted February 23, 2006 Oddly enough for me, I do have one person I would actually like to get to know better... but it won't do me any good, as this person is completely inaccessible. I've never had this desire about anyone even remotely accessible to me, thus reinforcing my belief that I'm not meant to be with anyone. Just my natural state of being... Link to post Share on other sites
a-d Posted February 23, 2006 Share Posted February 23, 2006 There's a missing option. Assuming that yes means there is attraction of some kind, let's just value that at (+1), and no means that there is no attraction of any kind (0), there should also be an opposite attraction, or repulsion (-1) as it were. I never experience attraction from my end, and I'm just fine with being around neutral people, but as soon as someone expresses some kind of attraction for me, the hair on my neck stands up, and I'm packing my bags to disappear hundreds or thousands of miles away (yes, I have followed through on this three times). Not that I'm a person who would rather run away from problems than confront them. It's almost not a real problem. It's just that I feel threatened by anyone who would want to get close to me for an extended period of time. This might be denoted by words such as "we should have a long-term relationship," or "I'd do anything for you," or "I love you." It's not only words alone, but somehow whenever the possibility of me entering some kind of serious relationship (regardless of sexual factors) presents itself, I get an eerie feeling of being sucked into some cold, dark void, never to return to the real world. It is rather difficult to explain. Maybe that mentality defies logic, I could concede that, and even other sexual people I know who claim to have felt similar sentiments say they eventually give in, because sex is more important to them than feelings of security. I don't know exactly what it is with me, but when it comes to me and "getting close" to people, I experience universal repulsion. It's not like I'm antisocial or avoidant, but I just can't bear the thought of not being independent. Okay, enough ranting, I think I made my point. Where's that third option? Mods: if that gets added, can you change my vote? I voted 'no' for now. Link to post Share on other sites
ushuaia Posted March 6, 2006 Share Posted March 6, 2006 i'm in love at the moment, but she doesn't know it :( Link to post Share on other sites
BlancheDubois Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 There are people I want in my life, yes, but not in a sexual sense. I'm very loyal to my friends when I have them and want them on my side. It is totally platonic and I often find them to be gorgeous looking, possibly because they are or possibly just because they are to me, I'm not sure. Link to post Share on other sites
a-d Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 This thread is alive again! And still with that evil binary system! -1 all the way! Link to post Share on other sites
Ziffler Posted April 7, 2006 Share Posted April 7, 2006 This is an excellent question. Yes. Occassionally I will see someone and they can be either gender and I am drawn to them. I would call it an attraction. Again, It has nothing to do with sex. It's feels like some kind of chemical attraction. I have watched people walk around a store without taking my eyes off them. Don't have a clue as to why I was attracted to them, just was. It's just the kind of thing that I want to talk to them and get to know them. Cause I can tell you one thing, if we did talk and they mentioned going someplace for sex, I'd run the other way and never look back. The attraction would be over that fast. Link to post Share on other sites
TheSMMG Posted April 13, 2006 Share Posted April 13, 2006 Yes, I find some people aesthetically attractive and emotionally alluring (yearningy, love type feelings) - which I've seen referred to, elegantly, as a "romance drive". I experience no sexual arousal associated with this at all. Link to post Share on other sites
pixs Posted September 11, 2007 Share Posted September 11, 2007 i dont get a physical atraction to people like by what they look like but more so by there actions and by what they do if that makes sense Link to post Share on other sites
ghostgurl Posted September 13, 2007 Share Posted September 13, 2007 Not really. Really only with celebrities and fictional characters. Link to post Share on other sites
jewel_box554 Posted September 14, 2007 Share Posted September 14, 2007 Yeah, I've had approximately 2.5 crushes so far, and they were all in high school. So I really hope that having crushes was just a phase for me and that I'm done with it now. It would save me a lot of stress. Link to post Share on other sites
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