amount of crushes?

[SpeedinThroughSpace]

I have had so many crushes, it's crazy. I pretty much usually have one at any given time, whether it's a person in real life or on TV. So often that that's why one of my friends doubted that I was asexual back then because she assumed that the two are connected directly. xD

I only commented about people I knew personally. If we're including celebrities or fictional characters.... uh... the number for me would be really high. So many fictional crushes... :D

Celebrity/fictional crushes confuse me... They're one of the things I was sure until recently that people make them up or say they have a crush on a character/famous person in an exaggerated way of saying they like them. I'm sorry about that, is it ignorant of you guys? It's just that there are characters I find really really cool and stuff, but it's so unlike what I ever felt for people...

[AceInhibitor]

I have had so many crushes, it's crazy. I pretty much usually have one at any given time, whether it's a person in real life or on TV. So often that that's why one of my friends doubted that I was asexual back then because she assumed that the two are connected directly. xD

I only commented about people I knew personally. If we're including celebrities or fictional characters.... uh... the number for me would be really high. So many fictional crushes... :D

Celebrity/fictional crushes confuse me... They're one of the things I was sure until recently that people make them up or say they have a crush on a character/famous person in an exaggerated way of saying they like them. I'm sorry about that, is it ignorant of you guys? It's just that there are characters I find really really cool and stuff, but it's so unlike what I ever felt for people...

I have a lot of celebrity and fictional crushes. It became a running joke with my friends. I can't speak for other people, but in my case, it's usually a case of aesthetic attraction combined with identifying with the character in some way or liking the way they're written, like I love sarcastic characters so characters who are kind of sassy at times I tend to be quite fond of. They're not like real crushes, and I tend to develop celebrity crushes because of a character they've played, and then when I watch interviews or behind-the-scenes videos sometimes I like the actor for their public persona as well and sometimes I don't, it varies. I'm well aware that how people actually are and how they behave in interviews and at events are very different things. I guess for celebrities it tends to be admiration + aesthetic attraction, the same as any other infatuation really. But I don't count celebrity crushes as real crushes because I have had so many, there's only a couple that really stood out.

I guess it's kind of hard to explain. Like, there's characters I like, but I don't have a crush on them, like I like Elizabeth Bennet but I don't have a crush on her, whereas I kind of have a crush on Jessica Jones? Like, they're both badass it's just more like 'If this character was a real person I'd want to be friends with them' vs 'If this character was real I'd be attracted to them'. Or like with younger characters I mostly just want to adopt them and feel really protective over them. In a way I think it's easier to have crushes on fictional characters or actors because a lot of crushes, at least in the early stages, are largely what you've built up in your head anyway, rather than how a person actually is, so when you've got a fictional character you can imagine them whatever way you like.

[AceInhibitor]

I have had so many crushes, it's crazy. I pretty much usually have one at any given time, whether it's a person in real life or on TV. So often that that's why one of my friends doubted that I was asexual back then because she assumed that the two are connected directly. xD

Honestly, me and my friends tried to make a list of the top 10 guys we found attractive and I think I'd managed to stretch mine to 25 in about 10 minutes, and then started making a list of ten girls I had 'girlcrushes' on (remind me how I used to think I was straight??), and this kind of snowballed, my list of celebrity/fictional crushes is very, very long.

[firestring]

I have had so many crushes, it's crazy. I pretty much usually have one at any given time, whether it's a person in real life or on TV. So often that that's why one of my friends doubted that I was asexual back then because she assumed that the two are connected directly. xD

I only commented about people I knew personally. If we're including celebrities or fictional characters.... uh... the number for me would be really high. So many fictional crushes... :D

Celebrity/fictional crushes confuse me... They're one of the things I was sure until recently that people make them up or say they have a crush on a character/famous person in an exaggerated way of saying they like them. I'm sorry about that, is it ignorant of you guys? It's just that there are characters I find really really cool and stuff, but it's so unlike what I ever felt for people...

Thank you! I thought I was the only one who is confused by this.

[SpeedinThroughSpace]

I have had so many crushes, it's crazy. I pretty much usually have one at any given time, whether it's a person in real life or on TV. So often that that's why one of my friends doubted that I was asexual back then because she assumed that the two are connected directly. xD

I only commented about people I knew personally. If we're including celebrities or fictional characters.... uh... the number for me would be really high. So many fictional crushes... :D

Celebrity/fictional crushes confuse me... They're one of the things I was sure until recently that people make them up or say they have a crush on a character/famous person in an exaggerated way of saying they like them. I'm sorry about that, is it ignorant of you guys? It's just that there are characters I find really really cool and stuff, but it's so unlike what I ever felt for people... I have a lot of celebrity and fictional crushes. It became a running joke with my friends. I can't speak for other people, but in my case, it's usually a case of aesthetic attraction combined with identifying with the character in some way or liking the way they're written, like I love sarcastic characters so characters who are kind of sassy at times I tend to be quite fond of. They're not like real crushes, and I tend to develop celebrity crushes because of a character they've played, and then when I watch interviews or behind-the-scenes videos sometimes I like the actor for their public persona as well and sometimes I don't, it varies. I'm well aware that how people actually are and how they behave in interviews and at events are very different things. I guess for celebrities it tends to be admiration + aesthetic attraction, the same as any other infatuation really. But I don't count celebrity crushes as real crushes because I have had so many, there's only a couple that really stood out.

I guess it's kind of hard to explain. Like, there's characters I like, but I don't have a crush on them, like I like Elizabeth Bennet but I don't have a crush on her, whereas I kind of have a crush on Jessica Jones? Like, they're both badass it's just more like 'If this character was a real person I'd want to be friends with them' vs 'If this character was real I'd be attracted to them'. Or like with younger characters I mostly just want to adopt them and feel really protective over them. In a way I think it's easier to have crushes on fictional characters or actors because a lot of crushes, at least in the early stages, are largely what you've built up in your head anyway, rather than how a person actually is, so when you've got a fictional character you can imagine them whatever way you like.

It sounds relatable when you say it like that. It seems a lot more understandable to me with your addition that they are different from crushes on real people you personally met. I still have some trouble trying to understand the difference between a crush on the character and just being a fan of them, but that's probably just me.

I have just never gotten past any of what you described as wanting to be friends with the character if they were real, respectively identifying with them very well for some reason.

... It's not as bad (ie intense) as a real person crush, is it? I imagine it would be really frustrating if you lost sleep or despaired over a person who's not even real (or far out of your reach).

Thank you! I thought I was the only one who is confused by this.

Hey, glad I'm not alone, either! :)

[AceInhibitor]

I have had so many crushes, it's crazy. I pretty much usually have one at any given time, whether it's a person in real life or on TV. So often that that's why one of my friends doubted that I was asexual back then because she assumed that the two are connected directly. xD

I only commented about people I knew personally. If we're including celebrities or fictional characters.... uh... the number for me would be really high. So many fictional crushes... :D

Celebrity/fictional crushes confuse me... They're one of the things I was sure until recently that people make them up or say they have a crush on a character/famous person in an exaggerated way of saying they like them. I'm sorry about that, is it ignorant of you guys? It's just that there are characters I find really really cool and stuff, but it's so unlike what I ever felt for people...

I have a lot of celebrity and fictional crushes. It became a running joke with my friends. I can't speak for other people, but in my case, it's usually a case of aesthetic attraction combined with identifying with the character in some way or liking the way they're written, like I love sarcastic characters so characters who are kind of sassy at times I tend to be quite fond of. They're not like real crushes, and I tend to develop celebrity crushes because of a character they've played, and then when I watch interviews or behind-the-scenes videos sometimes I like the actor for their public persona as well and sometimes I don't, it varies. I'm well aware that how people actually are and how they behave in interviews and at events are very different things. I guess for celebrities it tends to be admiration + aesthetic attraction, the same as any other infatuation really. But I don't count celebrity crushes as real crushes because I have had so many, there's only a couple that really stood out.

I guess it's kind of hard to explain. Like, there's characters I like, but I don't have a crush on them, like I like Elizabeth Bennet but I don't have a crush on her, whereas I kind of have a crush on Jessica Jones? Like, they're both badass it's just more like 'If this character was a real person I'd want to be friends with them' vs 'If this character was real I'd be attracted to them'. Or like with younger characters I mostly just want to adopt them and feel really protective over them. In a way I think it's easier to have crushes on fictional characters or actors because a lot of crushes, at least in the early stages, are largely what you've built up in your head anyway, rather than how a person actually is, so when you've got a fictional character you can imagine them whatever way you like.

It sounds relatable when you say it like that. It seems a lot more understandable to me with your addition that they are different from crushes on real people you personally met. I still have some trouble trying to understand the difference between a crush on the character and just being a fan of them, but that's probably just me.

I have just never gotten past any of what you described as wanting to be friends with the character if they were real, respectively identifying with them very well for some reason.

... It's not as bad (ie intense) as a real person crush, is it? I imagine it would be really frustrating if you lost sleep or despaired over a person who's not even real (or far out of your reach).

Thank you! I thought I was the only one who is confused by this.

Hey, glad I'm not alone, either! :)

Haha, no, it's definitely never as bad as a real crush, at least for me. My real crushes tend to last a hell of a lot longer than my fictional ones. I can have about four fictional crushes in the same show, I have a very low threshold for what I classify as a fictional crush, sometimes it's really not much more than aesthetic attraction.

I think the difference is mostly that there are characters you're a fan of who you might wish you were more like (I get this a lot as well), or characters you wish you were friends with in real life, or characters who you find aesthetically attractive who you would potentially like to date if they were real. Sometimes you've got all of those, or one of them, or none of them. Of course there are some characters you want to push off a high bridge as well. Most of my friends don't understand my fictional crush thing either, don't worry about it.

[Nea Rose Symphony]

3-5 at most in my entire life. Only 3 times I got really nervous and clammy around the person and it was always with males. If you're talking about "I don't think I have a real crush on you but I could theoretically want to date you if it came down to it" then add like maybe 2 to 3 more to that number

[El-not-so-ace]

I tend to crush on fictional characters and not actors because the fictional ones are exactly want I want. They'll react the way I think and some have been pretty intense compared to real crushes since I tended to shy away from crushes. In my head, I'm safe and don't feel self-conscious. In real life, I'd often feel like I don't deserve the person, so it diminishes my feelings a bit.

Edit: Oh and I still feel a bit nervous when I see my character on TV if it's been a couple years since I've seen the movie or show. :P

[Notte stellata]

From 12 to 25 I got about one crush per year on average. I could develop crushes pretty quickly and randomly. I also had 3-5 celebrity crushes on singers and athletes. After 25 I got crushes much less frequently, and only after knowing someone as a friend. I also don't get celebrity crushes anymore, even though I may find some of them attractive and interesting. Basically, what would have been a crush in the past would often just be appreciation of and interest in the person today. I haven't got a crush for 3-4 years now.

[TophBeiFong]

None. I've had one real and two fictional-character squishes The real one involved zero "hotness" and but desire for romance but was entirely friendship-based. I loved him for 11 years. The first fictional one was Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. Obviously a non-sexual-non-romantic squish. Secondly, Nikola Tesla.

[Paradise_Lost]

I'm just wondering how many crushes other people had and what's an average number (of course that depends on the age of the person, too). So, how old are you? How many crushes did you have? How often do you have a crush? Do you think you that's a high, a low or an average number?

I am 28 years old. I have never had any 'crushes'. It seems a very childish thing to me (not disrespecting those who find it a legitimate stepping stone).

In my personal opinion, crush to me is like following a stranger or an acquaintance you rarely see or talk to. In your dreams you imagine scenarios but due to change in course of life, people move on to some other crush. Its very superficial. Mostly based on physical attributes.

I dont have crushes. If I talk to some woman who I admire and respect, there is a mutual vibe that I read. And only then will I find them worthy of me and me worthy of them. As a matter of fact I am glad I am not part the group of men/women who get crushes at the drop of the hat.

[Cinnamon Biscuit]

Celebrity/fictional crushes confuse me... They're one of the things I was sure until recently that people make them up or say they have a crush on a character/famous person in an exaggerated way of saying they like them. I'm sorry about that, is it ignorant of you guys? It's just that there are characters I find really really cool and stuff, but it's so unlike what I ever felt for people...

Generally I don't understand celebrity crushes because they're so impersonal, but I have at least one. I liked the characters he portrayed, he's handsome imo, and from the comments he's made he's seems really down the earth and sensible yet dry and witty. I didn't hope for a romantic encounter nor is it a serious crush, but I can't say my heart never fluttered or I never felt a bit dreamy thinking about him. Oh and I had a dream about him being lovingly affectionate with me, best and worst dream I ever had :D There are other actors that I do think are "cute" from an aesthetic point of view but I don't count them as crushes.

As for fictional characters, I find I develop crushes from an emotional standpoint. I learn about a character's personality, history, family, struggles and see how they face adversity or interpersonal problems. It's like, "Wow, I really admire them!" and I can't help but sometimes imagine romantic scenarios because it's makes me smile and my heart flutter. A silly guilty pleasure of an over active imagination, I suppose? It's like wishful thinking or pretending for the fun of it. It's like reading a romance story every once in awhile because it makes me feel fuzzy inside. I know it never will be real, there's no restless nights or anxiety over it. It's not like I think of them daily, I just get enamored or even obsessed by a character for a short spell. Some of those crushes endure, but they just come and go like re-watching an old favorite movie. I take it out, admire it for a bit, and put it back. Theoretically I'd probably date them, some maybe even marry, if they were real and I feel infatuated thinking of them ...so I don't see why it's less valid than a crush on a real person. Yet because it's not real it's never the same or as good as reality. I would drop fiction in a heart beat for something real.

If that's weird. Oh well. I know I'm weird :P

It's okay if you don't get it. Most of us here don't get sexual attraction either.

[Cassiel Fae]

I'm 16 and I've had two real crushes I thought I'd had more before I learned that squishes were a thing. I'm Demiromantic so I only have crushes on people I have a close emotional bond to. This is most likely why I only really crush on someone I've been friends with for 3ish years which to my romantic friends seems like a long time. Compared to my friends i've had a low amount of crushes.

[Breinan]

I'm 18. I have had zero crushes. Never. Probably low.

I have had people who I really liked as friends and wanted to get close to, but I'm not sure if that's a normal friendship thing or squish.

(I'm still questioning whether I'm actually aromantic. Oh well)

[blue2 sky]

1 today. :lol:

[RoseGoesToYale]

20 years old. I've had about... 8 crushes. Three in middle school, three in high school, and two so far in college. My first lasted three years, but since my crushes have been pretty short. I used to think this was a high number, until I found my friends have had a lot more.

[Choloepus]

I'm 13, and I've had none. I did some quick research when I was trying to find out my romantic id, and it seems that the age someone "should" have a crush by is anywhere from 4-11. (Note that I didn't find that info from any studies people have done, just what I've gathered from parenting websites.

[dragon_cake]

Hmmm....I'm only certain of one crush I had in high school on a male friend (we knew each other since middle school) which didn't really appear until we had to go to different colleges at age 18. It was an annoying warm feeling I couldn't get rid of and thought it would go away if I tell him but I felt bad since I was fine whether he would reject me or not but he accepted these feelings instead. Fortunately, he was sort of cool with my asexuality and knows neither of us are wrong even if he doesn't completely understand it. We went out for a couple of years but I had to break it off when I sensed that he was not sure about his stance on a relationship and was only sure he would want kids (which I don't want and it's perfectly fine for others who do). I rarely feel crushes or don't consider it a crush until I get some really convincing dreams along with some weird feelings from my heart.

[RK800]

I'm 18 and I've had maybe one or two crushes on people I've actually met, but dozens of crushes on fictional folks. I didn't really experience romantic attraction at all until I had my gender identity worked out completely and stopped pretending to be female (so I guess age 17-ish?). Generally it's a weak in the knees, butterflies in my stomach kind of feeling. Sometimes it's related to aesthetic attraction but certainly not always. Never ever acted on the romantic feeling though, never even mentioned them to the ones I felt them for as everything has always been to complicated; don't want to drag anyone else into my bull.

[kaysir]

18. 1 strong crush, maybe 5 casual/weak crushes. To be clear, I usually don't really like the person so much as I like a fantasy version of them. I'd say this amount is below average, but not by much unless you count every whim or desire other people have as a crush.

[karnzter]

[content and trigger warning for TMI, personal stuff, bullying, catfishing and 'sob story']

I'm 25. Only had 4 crushes. I'm both a quoiromantic/-sexual-flux and akoiromantic/-sexual-flux ever since I was young (among 4, or 8 others, if you split them separately on romantic and sexual identities, that I also identify. And yes, I know that it's very complex and a lot).

First-two were just me being a complete twit of myself...and maybe being dumb, too. With the whole "I used to chase the first one and would say 'come here loverboy' (something I recalled from reading an Archie comic strip) while doing so" and "I yelled 'I love you' and 'professed' my 'love' to the second one in front of the class when I was in fifth grade" kinds of dumb.

The third one was just infatuated crushing that got creepy when I was in high school.

The fourth and last was the guy who broke my heart, and whom I used to have an emotional bond with, which he doesn't know. The guy whose identity was used by two college bullies/catfishers who were reasoning that 'they just want to see me be happy'. Only to be told by the actual guy that I don't need to explain what happened and that there's no need to apologize.

It ended up triggering my growing trust issues and cynicism and jump-started my fluctuating repulsion on both romance and sex and eventually having my fluctuating aro/ace side.

It really feels weird to have feelings in general. Makes you question things.

[Grayclover]

I'm nearly 50 and have had exactly 17 crushes during my life. I remember all my crushes well. I had 10 years during which I didn't have any crushes, now during last 2 years I have had two very extreme crushes and 3 quite extreme crushes. :)

[LittleBrownSparrow]

Three before I becamea teen. None since.

[starfishgurl1984]

I'm a 31 year old ace and I've had one crush in high school and nine celebrity crushes (though now I'm learning it's called a squish or something instead, not really sure). To me a crush is someone who's cute and you go gaga/drool over them but not in any sexual way at all, just a lets be friends sort of way! I put a picture of my high school crush on my laptops desktop screen for a while but that's about it. As for my celebrity crushes, you can pretty much tell by my movie collection who they are, because I have a whole pile of stuff they were in, some stuff that I never would have bought otherwise! It's kind of funny how obsessed my celebrity crushes make me get... They even make me day dream about doing activities with them (like giving blood or biking or going to the gym)! I pretty much still have the same nine celebrity crushes as they don't really go away for me, I just go through cycles between which one I'm obsessing over...

[AceInhibitor]

I'm a 31 year old ace and I've had one crush in high school and nine celebrity crushes (though now I'm learning it's called a squish or something instead, not really sure). To me a crush is someone who's cute and you go gaga/drool over them but not in any sexual way at all, just a lets be friends sort of way! I put a picture of my high school crush on my laptops desktop screen for a while but that's about it. As for my celebrity crushes, you can pretty much tell by my movie collection who they are, because I have a whole pile of stuff they were in, some stuff that I never would have bought otherwise! It's kind of funny how obsessed my celebrity crushes make me get... They even make me day dream about doing activities with them (like giving blood or biking or going to the gym)! I pretty much still have the same nine celebrity crushes as they don't really go away for me, I just go through cycles between which one I'm obsessing over...

Oh my gosh yes. The number of appalling films I have watched for the sake of cute actors. But, equally, the number of awesome things I've found because of crushes has been much higher so I don't really mind on the whole. I've found some really cool musicals that way.

[LassieBee]

I'm 15 and I've had two - one on my ex-best friend when I was nine and over the past two years it's faded away. And one on a guy in my class who I became very close to very quickly just before my 13th birthday. We dated for seven months before we broke up but I still like him.

I find how I feel intensifies when I'm around them though.

[yellew]

this is an old thread  but I want to post in it soo--I'm 16 and have had one crush. Probably low? No idea.

[Charlie Weasley]

I had many crushes in a row and it was really intense , when I was about thirteen - 17,  I Guess. Well, I feel a bit immature but because of my faint memories about theese crushes I dont really know if they were real crushes or just hormonal obsessions

[Blue Phoenix Ace]

Nice topic.

I am currently 39 and I've had five crushes. One from high school, one a casual acquaintance, and three work mates. One of those has stood out much more than the others, which makes me wonder if it is more like four squishes and one real crush.

[boothcreek]

29 yrs and 0 crushes IRL or fictional.