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JackofSpades

Asexuality at Pride Festivals

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JackofSpades

I didn't really know where to put this topic so I picked the forum description closest to what I wanted to ask.

Anyways, I want to go to a pride parade in the future to celebrate and show off my new found confidence and identity. However, since I'm not gay/bi/pan/etc., I'm afraid that a) I'm not "allowed", b) I'll be made fun of/insulted/etc., or c) I'll be the only ace there with virtually no backup. I'd rather avoid the "you're basically straight" or "special snowflake" or even "asexuality isn't real" BS. I do identify as part of the community because of my asexuality and want to participate but I'm afraid of exclusion because I don't have any same-sex attraction of any kind.

Any advice/tips/ideas would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!

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HighDrive

I'd rather avoid the "you're basically straight" or "special snowflake" or even "asexuality isn't real" BS. I do identify as part of the community because of my asexuality and want to participate but I'm afraid of exclusion because I don't have any same-sex attraction of any kind.

Unfortunately in this world there is discrimination due to orientation.

Given that the parade started to fight for legal rights and recognition of homosexuality, some people would argue that's the only purpose and anything else would distract from the message.

Ither people can argue that these days, the purpose of the parade is to be proud of the personal orientation without needing to ask for permission.

Depending of the interpretation of the organizers of your local parade, the reaction may be different.

If the organizers have the first interpretation, they may argue that if people use the parade as a demonstration of pride of any minority group, the meaning will be lost.

The connundrum is that if your interpretation is the second, then there is no reason to ask for permission from anybody to participate.

So, I'd say, approach the organizers to see if you get support (not permission) for participating as part of the Q in LGBTQ+ mist likely they will be welcoming and supporting. However, if they aren't , you should still March even if you face discrimination because you "don't fit the mold"

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EmsanQ

I'm planning to go to my local pride festival thing but just sort of up the aceness slowly, you know?

Like this year I think I'll just go with this hoodie I have in ace colours and wear a black ring but otherwise not do much.
And then as I grow more comfortable in meeting negative comments and as asexuality becomes more well-known I think I'll just out myself more and more until I can go without worrying about people being absolute meanies.

Of course some people will always be meanies. Last year when I went someone threw a beer can at a gay guy so there are just random assholes out there who will keep being assholes and there's not much we can do about that.

But if you feel like it could help, then going slow is okay.
At least that's what I'll do :)

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timewarp

With a bit of luck some aces in your area are planning on going, if not you could post something in the meetup section on here. We have something like that here in the UK, there will definitely be a group of us at the London Pride. I also know of Australian aces doing that. As far as I know there is some kind of registration procedure, and that's way easier if you're in a group.

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mountainbiker

Everything has to start somewhere! I can't say (sadly) that you will not face discrimination at the parade, but I can say that your participation will make a difference! By taking a brave step to be in the pride parade, you are paving the way for others to join you. I encourage you to go! If you ever find yourself worrying about what people might say to you, think about how you are taking a stand for all the aces out there. I know personally I would feel very empowered by your actions!

Post if you end up going, I would love to hear if you went. I know it takes a lot of courage, but you can do it!

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Breinan

I didn't really know where to put this topic so I picked the forum description closest to what I wanted to ask.

Anyways, I want to go to a pride parade in the future to celebrate and show off my new found confidence and identity. However, since I'm not gay/bi/pan/etc., I'm afraid that a) I'm not "allowed", b) I'll be made fun of/insulted/etc., or c) I'll be the only ace there with virtually no backup. I'd rather avoid the "you're basically straight" or "special snowflake" or even "asexuality isn't real" BS. I do identify as part of the community because of my asexuality and want to participate but I'm afraid of exclusion because I don't have any same-sex attraction of any kind.

Any advice/tips/ideas would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!

Are you planning on going to the D.C Pride Parade June 11th? I will probably be going (still tentative) and I plan on meeting up with the group "Asexuals of the Mid-Atlantic" there. Let me know if you're interested :)

Their website: http://www.meetup.com/A-Mid-A/

I don't really think discrimination against you specifically for being ace will be a problem. Confusion, and maybe a bit of hatred from protestors directed at the parade, but I think you will be fine. I consider myself an ally, but I'll be going in an ace t-shirt!

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JackofSpades

Are you planning on going to the D.C Pride Parade June 11th? I will probably be going (still tentative) and I plan on meeting up with the group "Asexuals of the Mid-Atlantic" there. Let me know if you're interested :)

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JackofSpades

(Sorry about the random quote attempt, my computer cut out on me in the middle of my reply)

To answer Breinan, I would go to the D.C. Pride, but considering I'm still quite dependent on my parents, more not going this year. Maybe next year or the year after that.

My parents know I'm ace but they don't see it as an orientation (more of a choice) and therefore don't see any reason for me to participate in Pride. Even if I told them I was going as an ally, they wouldn't let me go.

However, thank you for the link to the organization! I'll definitely check them out and see if I could go with them to a future Pride.

Thanks to everyone who replied, it's very reassuring. 😊

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Snao Cone

My local pride organization has included aces for a couple years now, and they even have ace and aro identities included in their posters around town. If asexuality isn't recognized in your pride festivities, maybe you can suggest its inclusion with examples from other places.

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Beth_Altair4

I'm riding this in the lonon pride bike ride on Friday. I'd put a trans one on too but it's huge and I have trans visibility already.

And yes, it has a bubble machine!!!

https://imgur.com/ei3LsWd

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YorkshireTyke

I'm a bit conflicted about this. I don't feel as though I have anything in common with the heterosexual life experience - romance/marriage/children - but does asexuality count as a sexuality at all?

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Grabovsky

I'm a bit conflicted about this. I don't feel as though I have anything in common with the heterosexual life experience - romance/marriage/children - but does asexuality count as a sexuality at all?

Asexuality is an orientation, it is a part of the wide spectrum of sexuality. Ive never had a problem with this, but probably due to the fact that i became an atheist about 2 years before i realized i was asexual, and have heard the exact same lines being said.

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mykel_radar

I go to a few LBGT+ meetups and never had a problem fitting in. I've met a few Aces at the meetups.

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henshin

Most Pride parades I have been to are a celebration of our varied genders and sexualities, and you should be most welcome. Hell even straight people march in Pride parades now a days. If anyone gives you shit just flip them off. I always get super excited to see the ace contingent go by in a pride parade, not sure if there's one in my local march this year but I should probably find out!

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Searching4Sunset

I just got back from a pride parade/rally and was excited to see some ace representation! Honestly, your experience probably depends on where you are. I wore ace pins and lots of purple, but pretty much blended in. I honestly don't think most people around me knew about asexuality.

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Zsareph

I went to my first pride today and had similar worries, but the were no issues with me being ace. I even saw others in the crowd. I didn't really talk to anyone so I'm not sure how well know asexuality was there, but the people participating would likely have been very accepting if I'd talked about it with anyone. It may be different depending on where you go, but my experience was very positive. If you're worried about feeling a bit isolated I'd recommend going with a friend like I did :)

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