Nigellaseed Posted May 9, 2016 Share Posted May 9, 2016 TMI AHEAD So Pan, I am really intrigued now, so, do you just have oral with your partners...is that it? Link to post Share on other sites
Tarfeather Posted May 9, 2016 Author Share Posted May 9, 2016 Yes. If something doesn't feel good and it's also fairly intrusive, it actually is unpleasant. So as it wasn't unpleasant for her, by reverse implication this would mean it either felt good or wasn't fairly intrusive. Link to post Share on other sites
Sally Posted May 9, 2016 Share Posted May 9, 2016 Yes. If something doesn't feel good and it's also fairly intrusive, it actually is unpleasant. So as it wasn't unpleasant for her, by reverse implication this would mean it either felt good or wasn't fairly intrusive. I don't know if you can make that assumption, just by reversing it. If it wasn't unpleasant, it could also be boring, instead of feeling good. It's up to the individual. However, what I said I think is definitely true: doesn't feel good plus intrusive = unpleasant. Link to post Share on other sites
Nigellaseed Posted May 9, 2016 Share Posted May 9, 2016 Best to ask her Tar? Link to post Share on other sites
Telecaster68 Posted May 9, 2016 Share Posted May 9, 2016 I don't know if you can make that assumption, just by reversing it. If it wasn't unpleasant, it could also be boring, instead of feeling good. It's up to the individual. However, what I said I think is definitely true: doesn't feel good plus intrusive = unpleasant. But also... 'feels neutral + partner enjoying it immensely = mildly pleasant overall' could work too? Link to post Share on other sites
Tarfeather Posted May 9, 2016 Author Share Posted May 9, 2016 I don't know if you can make that assumption, just by reversing it. Only if the basic laws of logic hold. Link to post Share on other sites
HighDrive Posted May 9, 2016 Share Posted May 9, 2016 maybe finding out asexuality ''isn't an orientation'' (meaning I guess that it's caused by something and can be fixed) and how upsetting that would be for people identifying as ace.An the main point being that, if someone feels they are asexual, and are happier than ever with that acceptance, no one has the right to try to change it. Labeling it orientation or not is just academic. If it walks and quacks like an orientation, it's enough for me to accept it as such.Even if there was "hope" that my GF could change, I wouldn't ever suggest she going through the discomfort as I don't see her missing anything in life. But if someone wants something different for themselves, that's also OK. Hopefully there will be a time when we as a society accept people for who they are or who they "want to be". Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted May 9, 2016 Share Posted May 9, 2016 TMI AHEAD So Pan, I am really intrigued now, so, do you just have oral with your partners...is that it? Oh I just saw this :o Before I gave up on sex completely (and later learned about asexuality) I did practically everything no matter how much I hated it or how much it hurt me, for various reasons. But I never enjoyed or desired any of it (just kept assuming it would get better and as it got better I'd want it, if that makes sense?). I don't know if you meant, did I just let them give me oral, or me give them oral? For me, giving oral was the ''easiest'' because it didn't involve me having to be touched and prodded and poked, but I dislike receiving oral as much as I dislike penetration or any other form of stimulation being done to my genitals. I haven't had sex or been in a sexual situation since 2011 though. Nowadays I only have ace partners, so no genital stuff (including oral) is happening. And I won't ever have sexual partners again (wouldn't be fair on me or them) Why do you ask? Link to post Share on other sites
Nigellaseed Posted May 9, 2016 Share Posted May 9, 2016 That was what I thought...but on one thread you said you liked to....swallow so it just kind of confused me. I am completely still new to all this and learning about the different types of Asexuality. I am only experienced in one area as I am a hetero and just inquisitive...hope that is ok? I sort of meant now not in the past. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted May 9, 2016 Share Posted May 9, 2016 Will be TMI! That was what I thought...but on one thread you said you liked to....swallow so it just kind of confused me. I am completely still new to all this and learning about the different types of Asexuality. I am only experienced in one area as I am a hetero and just inquisitive...hope that is ok? I sort of meant now not in the past. Oh yes, I have a semen consumption fetish, as well as most other body fluids :lol: But for semen, you just lick that off the guys hand after he has wanked, or he can do it into a cup or whatever? I could give oral (it doesn't hurt me or anything) but if a partner is ace, then he'd probably rather not do that hah, and it seems pointless when he can just do it himself in his room or whatever and just give me the fluids after! Funnily enough I didn't develop this until years after I stopped having sex, when I first started experimenting (online) with aces. Since 2011 I haven't been with anyone (even my partners) in person though, we just talk over text ^_^ (oh and just to be clear, that's all just fantasy, not something I'd ever probably get to do anyway. I just know I would enjoy it if I was with an ace who could also be into that idea) Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted May 9, 2016 Share Posted May 9, 2016 Cool! :) ahah as you can see, I am really exceptionally boring :p Sorry for off topic Tar *passes out because it's past 2am* Link to post Share on other sites
Telecaster68 Posted May 9, 2016 Share Posted May 9, 2016 I think it's more like 4pm in Germany... Link to post Share on other sites
Nigellaseed Posted May 9, 2016 Share Posted May 9, 2016 You are far from boring Pan...I am completely fascinated. The thing is for me as a sexual I find the actual act more rewarding...to be able to have the ability to make my partner so happy during oral and the semen afterwards is the treasure...hey...maybe this should be a pm instead! Link to post Share on other sites
Nigellaseed Posted May 9, 2016 Share Posted May 9, 2016 I think it's more like 4pm in Germany... Maybe he is eating black forest gateau and ein kaffe? Link to post Share on other sites
Telecaster68 Posted May 9, 2016 Share Posted May 9, 2016 Or invading Poland. Link to post Share on other sites
Nigellaseed Posted May 9, 2016 Share Posted May 9, 2016 Or invading Poland. What?? Link to post Share on other sites
Telecaster68 Posted May 9, 2016 Share Posted May 9, 2016 I'm sure he has no further territorial demands. Link to post Share on other sites
Autumn Season Posted May 9, 2016 Share Posted May 9, 2016 I don't think he is into the Po-Land*. At least he didn't mention anything of the like. *German language pun Sorry, Tar. Link to post Share on other sites
m4rble Posted May 9, 2016 Share Posted May 9, 2016 I don't think he is into the Po-Land*. At least he didn't mention anything of the like. *German language pun Sorry, Tar. ?? Link to post Share on other sites
HighDrive Posted May 9, 2016 Share Posted May 9, 2016 As a sexual who hasn't always been comfortable with his sexuality (I thought there was something wrong with me always fantasizing and wanting to experiment) Now having come to terms with it, it is always fascinating when people are honest about theirs. Otherwise it seems we each are "alone" and "abnormal. Eventually we realize that there is no normal but we are conditioned to behave in an accepted "normal" way. I do think now that people that behave according to the gold standard are quite rare, which make them by definition abnormal :) Link to post Share on other sites
m4rble Posted May 9, 2016 Share Posted May 9, 2016 As a sexual who hasn't always been comfortable with his sexuality (I thought there was something wrong with me always fantasizing and wanting to experiment) Now having come to terms with it, it is always fascinating when people are honest about theirs. Otherwise it seems we each are "alone" and "abnormal. Eventually we realize that there is no normal but we are conditioned to behave in an accepted "normal" way. I do think now that people that behave according to the gold standard are quite rare, which make them by definition abnormal :) That's funny because I've seen endless posts about how people felt abnormal or broken due to their lack of sexuality. Link to post Share on other sites
HighDrive Posted May 9, 2016 Share Posted May 9, 2016 That's funny because I've seen endless posts about how people felt abnormal or broken due to their lack of sexuality. And that's exactly my point. Aces and alos We may difer in other things but in this we are on the same boat. We think our experiences are unique until we talk about them and see we aren't alone :)I know this thread went Of topic but I love the TMI's because the more TMIs we have the less ignorance and tabues. Link to post Share on other sites
binary suns Posted May 9, 2016 Share Posted May 9, 2016 An anxious sexual person would know that sex would feel good if they could deal with their anxiety. An asexual person would know it wouldn't make any difference. I see merit in the observation, but I disagree. technically I do fall on the grey area of the spectrum, but in my experience sex that isn't pleasurable for emotional or partnered reasons can still be pleasurable physically. Link to post Share on other sites
binary suns Posted May 9, 2016 Share Posted May 9, 2016 Best to ask her Tar? this is what really matters regarding the unpleasant-or-not conundrum. Link to post Share on other sites
binary suns Posted May 9, 2016 Share Posted May 9, 2016 I don't know if you can make that assumption, just by reversing it. Only if the basic laws of logic hold. no, the basic rules of logic are that one assumption leading to another conclusion does not imply the reverse. all puppies are mammals, but not all mammals are puppies. Link to post Share on other sites
Tarfeather Posted May 9, 2016 Author Share Posted May 9, 2016 I think it's more like 4pm in Germany...Maybe he is eating black forest gateau and ein kaffe? Nah, was just studying and taking a walk with C. Also, Po-land?? What has this thread become? D: Link to post Share on other sites
Tarfeather Posted May 9, 2016 Author Share Posted May 9, 2016 Best to ask her Tar?this is what really matters regarding the unpleasant or not conundrum. She said she's not uncomfortable. I don't think much else matters. no, the basic rules of logic are that one assumption leading to another conclusion does not imply the reverse. all puppies are mammals, but not all mammals are puppies. A => B iff (not B) => (not A) Link to post Share on other sites
binary suns Posted May 9, 2016 Share Posted May 9, 2016 no, the basic rules of logic are that one assumption leading to another conclusion does not imply the reverse. all puppies are mammals, but not all mammals are puppies. A => B iff (not B) => (not A) right! my mistake, I misunderstood the discussed points. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.