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Aromantic/Cupioromantic Quiz


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1. "I enjoy fictional romantic relationships and would like to experience the same kinds of feelings"

 

True. I love fictional relationship and I would love to have it in real life. But being realistic I know that's impossible.

 

2. "I like nearly everything about romantic relationships but do not experience romantic attraction"

 

Maybe? I mean I like the idea of romantic relationship and I have a few crushes but I can't see myself being in one (only in fantasies)

 

3. "I would like to be in a romantic relationship, just not with anyone I have ever met"

 

Maybe? If I get older I can consider having a romantic relationship but I wouldn't mind it with someone I know.

 

4. "I love the idea of romance but I can't deal with it in real life"

 

True! I love romance but Seeing my sister's being in a relationship, gross me out.

 

5. "I would like to be in a romantic relationship for practical reasons (not feelings)"

 

False, Being in a romantic relationship is all about feelings. Doing it for just practical reason is No No for me

 

6. "I think I would like it if someone had romantic feelings for me"

 

False, it really freaked me out when someone tried to court me. It was so strange that it gave me shivers trying to think about it.

 

7. "I would be fine in a romantic relationship or a QPR"

 

Maybe? Not sure.

 

8. "I would like to know what it's like to experience romantic attraction"

 

50/50, 50% I would like to experience, 50% the idea is impossible

 

9. "I'd rather be romantic than aromantic"

 

False, being Aromantic is the best for me. 

 

10. "I can't imagine spending the rest of my life as an aromantic person"

 

Half of me think I can, Half of me think I can't.

 

11. "Being in a romantic relationship would help me attain other goals in my life"

 

Maybe? I do have a goal to have a beautiful baby girl and take care of her with all my heart. It's either I can have a romantic relationship or I can just adopt. Either sounds fine.

 

12. "I think dating sounds like fun"

 

In fictional, Yeah it sounds fun. In reality, Umm.. Meh?

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1. "I enjoy fictional romantic relationships and would like to experience the same kinds of feelings"

 

True, as long as those relationships are healthy.

 

2. "I like nearly everything about romantic relationships but do not experience romantic attraction"

 

True, for the most part, but I wouldn't enjoy any of those things about romantic relationships if I didn't feel attracted to the person I was with, so I guess I can only enjoy them theoretically.

 

3. "I would like to be in a romantic relationship, just not with anyone I have ever met"

 

Yes, except for maybe one or two people.

 

4. "I love the idea of romance but I can't deal with it in real life"

 

Yes, but only because the majority of my romantic experiences have been with people I was not romantically attracted to, so I didn't enjoy them.

 

5. "I would like to be in a romantic relationship for practical reasons (not feelings)"

 

Eh, no, not really. Especially not if the other person had feelings for me that I didn't return. Going through the motions is a little exhausting when you don't feel anything.

 

6. "I think I would like it if someone had romantic feelings for me"

 

Not if I didn't reciprocate them. Then it's just awkward and uncomfortable.

 

7. "I would be fine in a romantic relationship or a QPR"

 

Probably. I think all I really want is a strong emotional bond. All the extra romantic stuff is just fluff - it can be nice, but it's not necessary.

 

8. "I would like to know what it's like to experience romantic attraction"

 

Yes. I think I do know what it feels like (I've experienced it once) and I would like to feel it again.

 

9. "I'd rather be romantic than aromantic"

 

Honestly, either would be fine as long as I could be completely one or completely the other. If I could either 1) desire a romantic relationship and feel romantic attraction or 2) not desire a romantic relationship and not feel romantic attraction, that would be great. Instead, I'm out here searching for a feeling I am incapable of feeling 99% of the time because I remember enjoying it the one time I felt it. If I just knew that I could never experience romantic attraction, I wouldn't waste my time trying.

 

10. "I can't imagine spending the rest of my life as an aromantic person"

 

From this point onward? Yeah, I think it would probably bother me because I'd keeping looking for something without knowing I'd never find it. Unless an omniscient being came down and told me that I'd be aromantic for the rest of my life, in which case I could accept it and move on.

 

11. "Being in a romantic relationship would help me attain other goals in my life"

 

Eh, probably not. Not really looking to have a family or anything.

 

12. "I think dating sounds like fun"

 

Yes, but again, only if I could actually feel something.

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1. "I enjoy fictional romantic relationships Yes  and would like to experience the same kinds of feelings"  Don't know

 

2. "I like nearly everything about romantic relationships but do not experience romantic attraction"  False

 

3. "I would like to be in a romantic relationship, just not with anyone I have ever met" False

 

4. "I love the idea of romance but I can't deal with it in real life" Kinda true

 

5. "I would like to be in a romantic relationship for practical reasons (not feelings)" False

 

6. "I think I would like it if someone had romantic feelings for me" Sounds like an awkward situation to me

 

7. "I would be fine in a romantic relationship or a QPR" Probably false. Not sure about QPRs yet.

 

8. "I would like to know what it's like to experience romantic attraction"  Maybe, out of curiosity

 

9. "I'd rather be romantic than aromantic" False, I think I'm fine like this

 

10. "I can't imagine spending the rest of my life as an aromantic person" False, I think I'm fine like this

 

11. "Being in a romantic relationship would help me attain other goals in my life" False

 

12. "I think dating sounds like fun" All of the false

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rainbowocollie
On 4/2/2016 at 11:36 AM, mori child said:

1. "I enjoy fictional romantic relationships and would like to experience the same kinds of feelings"

2. "I like nearly everything about romantic relationships but do not experience romantic attraction"

3. "I would like to be in a romantic relationship, just not with anyone I have ever met"

4. "I love the idea of romance but I can't deal with it in real life"

5. "I would like to be in a romantic relationship for practical reasons (not feelings)"

6. "I think I would like it if someone had romantic feelings for me"

7. "I would be fine in a romantic relationship or a QPR"

8. "I would like to know what it's like to experience romantic attraction"

9. "I'd rather be romantic than aromantic"

10. "I can't imagine spending the rest of my life as an aromantic person"

11. "Being in a romantic relationship would help me attain other goals in my life"

12. "I think dating sounds like fun"

1. Nah, no need.

2. I have experiences limited romantic attraction, so no.

3. Nah.

4. "Love" is a strong word. I do like the idea, just feel no need to have it actually happen.

5. Nah.

6. Maybe?

7. Probably

8. I do know what it's like

9. Meh.

10. I can.

11. Nah.

12. Nope.

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My Answers:

1. I love reading about them but can't imagine it happening to me personally.

2. I think I like the idea of companionship more.

3. Again, I'm not sure if "romance" is what I'm looking for rather than just companionship.

4. Trueeeee I can't deal with it at all I get really bad anxiety.

5. no?

6. No that's what gives me anxiety xD 

7. romantic relationship probably not, but the idea of a QPR is nice.

8. Maybe. I'm so confused as to what my feelings are sometimes. 

9. Depends? Since I'm super gray-romantic I don't even know if I have a preference for a specific gender or type or anything.  

10. I just don't want to be alone, I'd like a partner and if they were also on the aro spectrum (and preferably completely ace) that would be ideal.

11. In the sense of potentially having children then yes. But that's a decision for along time form now. 

12. I'm very mixed on this one...

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DogObsessedLi

1. "I enjoy fictional romantic relationships and would like to experience the same kinds of feelings" =false, it makes me cringe

2. "I like nearly everything about romantic relationships but do not experience romantic attraction" = false

3. "I would like to be in a romantic relationship, just not with anyone I have ever met" =false

4. "I love the idea of romance but I can't deal with it in real life" =false

5. "I would like to be in a romantic relationship for practical reasons (not feelings)" = true (I'm strongly alterous with all friends and sometimes a romantic set up is the only way to get this closeness that I desire, but I actually desire it with all my friends but I find most friendships in society emotionally and touch starved, at least in my circles anyway. 

6. "I think I would like it if someone had romantic feelings for me" = false, but it ultimately depends how they then act on it as some alloromantics are much more chilled about it than others, which is the case with my boyf.

7. "I would be fine in a romantic relationship or a QPR" = true

8. "I would like to know what it's like to experience romantic attraction" = don't know, I suppose I'm too nosy about understanding others to not say true!

9. "I'd rather be romantic than aromantic" = false, but it might make life easier if it was true.

10. "I can't imagine spending the rest of my life as an aromantic person" =false

11. "Being in a romantic relationship would help me attain other goals in my life" =true, I like and need affectionate friendships and it at least gives me one of these in my life

12. "I think dating sounds like fun" =false

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  • 2 months later...
On 4/2/2016 at 10:36 AM, mori child said:

Which of the following are true for you?

1. "I enjoy fictional romantic relationships and would like to experience the same kinds of feelings"

2. "I like nearly everything about romantic relationships but do not experience romantic attraction"

3. "I would like to be in a romantic relationship, just not with anyone I have ever met"

4. "I love the idea of romance but I can't deal with it in real life"

5. "I would like to be in a romantic relationship for practical reasons (not feelings)"

6. "I think I would like it if someone had romantic feelings for me"

7. "I would be fine in a romantic relationship or a QPR"

8. "I would like to know what it's like to experience romantic attraction"

9. "I'd rather be romantic than aromantic"

10. "I can't imagine spending the rest of my life as an aromantic person"

11. "Being in a romantic relationship would help me attain other goals in my life"

12. "I think dating sounds like fun"

  1. Sometimes, and only the nonsexual parts.
  2. Again, the nonsexual parts, but yeah.
  3. Yes.
  4. I've never thought of myself as being "unable to deal with it," if that answers the question.
  5. No.
  6. Actually, I've had plenty of confessions (ironic) and it's stressed me out more than anything, because I only ever wanted to be friends.
  7. If there was no sex, yes. I think I'd prefer a QPR though since I know I'd never have real romantic feelings for my partner.
  8. Yes.
  9. Yes.
  10. No.
  11. No, it wouldn't change anything.
  12. If I had romantic feelings, I think it'd be fun. I enjoyed what few dates I had with my one bf ever before I realized that I don't have regular feelings.
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  • 2 weeks later...
On 4/2/2016 at 3:36 PM, mori child said:

Which of the following are true for you?

1. "I enjoy fictional romantic relationships and would like to experience the same kinds of feelings"

2. "I like nearly everything about romantic relationships but do not experience romantic attraction"

3. "I would like to be in a romantic relationship, just not with anyone I have ever met"

4. "I love the idea of romance but I can't deal with it in real life"

5. "I would like to be in a romantic relationship for practical reasons (not feelings)"

6. "I think I would like it if someone had romantic feelings for me"

7. "I would be fine in a romantic relationship or a QPR"

8. "I would like to know what it's like to experience romantic attraction"

9. "I'd rather be romantic than aromantic"

10. "I can't imagine spending the rest of my life as an aromantic person"

11. "Being in a romantic relationship would help me attain other goals in my life"

12. "I think dating sounds like fun"

 

1. Depends. I like romance as a side to the plot, and where there is a lot of mental chemistry. I don't like romance on its own.

2. No, I feel like there's a huge amount of cultural expectations in romantic relationships. Have very rarely experienced attraction, but not acted on it for that reason.

3. Probably not, I'd like a QPR though.

4. Yes I guess. I like the idea of two people loving each other romantically in theory, but in real life I feel like romance is very... prescriptive, I guess?

5.  No

6. Maybe, if I they were also asexual or I'd caught feelings for them

7.  No, QPR only

8. N/A - already experienced it, I have mixed feelings about it

9.  No

10. No, I think I might be difficult but living as an aromantic person would bring me the most happiness

11. No

12. No

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On 4/2/2016 at 8:36 AM, mori child said:

1. "I enjoy fictional romantic relationships and would like to experience the same kinds of feelings"

2. "I like nearly everything about romantic relationships but do not experience romantic attraction"

3. "I would like to be in a romantic relationship, just not with anyone I have ever met"

4. "I love the idea of romance but I can't deal with it in real life"

5. "I would like to be in a romantic relationship for practical reasons (not feelings)"

6. "I think I would like it if someone had romantic feelings for me"

7. "I would be fine in a romantic relationship or a QPR"

8. "I would like to know what it's like to experience romantic attraction"

9. "I'd rather be romantic than aromantic"

10. "I can't imagine spending the rest of my life as an aromantic person"

11. "Being in a romantic relationship would help me attain other goals in my life"

12. "I think dating sounds like fun"

I won't reply question by question because that would be lengthy, but I almost always participate in romances in fiction and games. it is fun. I don't envy the idea of dating, but I can enjoy romances. I'm happy being aro, though, in actual practice.

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  • 3 weeks later...

1. "I enjoy fictional romantic relationships and would like to experience the same kinds of feelings"

Not exactly? I like the dynamics of fictional relationships but I wouldn't want to be in one myself. 

 

2. "I like nearly everything about romantic relationships but do not experience romantic attraction"

Yeah

 

3. "I would like to be in a romantic relationship, just not with anyone I have ever met"

Nope

 

4. "I love the idea of romance but I can't deal with it in real life"

Yeah

 

5. "I would like to be in a romantic relationship for practical reasons (not feelings)"

Nope!

 

6. "I think I would like it if someone had romantic feelings for me"

No no nooo

 

7. "I would be fine in a romantic relationship or a QPR"

A QPR? Yes. A romantic relationship? Nope

 

8. "I would like to know what it's like to experience romantic attraction"

Nope

 

9. "I'd rather be romantic than aromantic"

Nope

 

10. "I can't imagine spending the rest of my life as an aromantic person"

False 

 

11. "Being in a romantic relationship would help me attain other goals in my life"

Nope!

 

12. "I think dating sounds like fun"

Ehh not really, I could do "date stuff" with friends

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WrenIsNotMyRealName!!

1. "I enjoy fictional romantic relationships and would like to experience the same kinds of feelings" Not all of them.

2. "I like nearly everything about romantic relationships but do not experience romantic attraction" No.

3. "I would like to be in a romantic relationship, just not with anyone I have ever met" False.

4. "I love the idea of romance but I can't deal with it in real life" Like at best.

5. "I would like to be in a romantic relationship for practical reasons (not feelings)" False? I'm not sure what this means.

6. "I think I would like it if someone had romantic feelings for me" Realistically, no.  

7. "I would be fine in a romantic relationship or a QPR" No.

8. "I would like to know what it's like to experience romantic attraction" I've experienced psuedo-psuedo-attraction enjoyed it quits a lot.

9. "I'd rather be romantic than aromantic" False.

10. "I can't imagine spending the rest of my life as an aromantic person" True.

11. "Being in a romantic relationship would help me attain other goals in my life" False.

12. "I think dating sounds like fun" Yeah, I think I'd be good at it.

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  • 2 weeks later...
dragoncookie425
  •  

1. "I enjoy fictional romantic relationships and would like to experience the same kinds of feelings" I like characters in fictional relationships, but not really for myself

2. "I like nearly everything about romantic relationships but do not experience romantic attraction" Kind of true

3. "I would like to be in a romantic relationship, just not with anyone I have ever met" False

4. "I love the idea of romance but I can't deal with it in real life" I don't really know

5. "I would like to be in a romantic relationship for practical reasons (not feelings)" Um, probably not, mine would be more like a close friendship/QRP

6. "I think I would like it if someone had romantic feelings for me" I like the idea of someone having feelings for me (it has happened somehow)but don't really understand it

7. "I would be fine in a romantic relationship or a QPR" I don't really know about romantic, but probably QRP

8. "I would like to know what it's like to experience romantic attraction" True, in case I have actually felt romantic attraction before

9. "I'd rather be romantic than aromantic" Kind of true?

10. "I can't imagine spending the rest of my life as an aromantic person" Kind of

11. "Being in a romantic relationship would help me attain other goals in my life" False

12. "I think dating sounds like fun" Yeah,  but normally I see dating as more being with a close friend

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I can't imagine myself having or wanting a romantic relationship.

I enjoy some fictional romances (The Shape of Water, Wash and Zoe's relationship in Firefly) but most are pretty boring to me.

The last time someone was romantically interested in me, it was pretty awkward for both of us.

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Interference

might be demi-ro, might be gray-ro.

1. true

2. false

3. false

4. true and false? some aspects of romance i feel heavily disturbed thinking of, some i feel much more comfortable with.

5. false

6. true, but i look like a bog troll and i don't really expect people to like me.

7. true [in one atm]

8. false, i have felt them and it is wack.

9. true

10. false

11. true

12. false. dating is a scary concept. i would go out with my bf somewhere but not as a proper date; that'd make me melt into an anxious puddle in no time.

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Answer choices:

True

Somewhat true

Neither true nor false / I don't know

Somewhat false

False

 

1. "I enjoy fictional romantic relationships and would like to experience the same kinds of feelings" True.

I love underrated fictional romantic relationships. However, I absolutely loathe "love at first sight" type of relationships.

2. "I like nearly everything about romantic relationships but do not experience romantic attraction" Somewhat true. 

I think I experience romantic attraction but I don't like everything about romantic relationships.

3. "I would like to be in a romantic relationship, just not with anyone I have ever met" I don't know

4. "I love the idea of romance but I can't deal with it in real life" True.

I can't deal with committing to someone and giving to them. Mainly because I don't know how and I've never felt that strongly for someone.

5. "I would like to be in a romantic relationship for practical reasons (not feelings)" False. 

6. "I think I would like it if someone had romantic feelings for me" Somewhat true.

If I also had romantic feelings for said person.

7. "I would be fine in a romantic relationship or a QPR" Somewhat false.

I think I could learn a lot from being in a romantic relationship or a QPR but I just don't have the motivation to go find one and stick with it.

8. "I would like to know what it's like to experience romantic attraction" Somewhat false

I sorta know what it's like but without the relationship part. I've been down the unrequited love road before and I can't go down that road again.

9. "I'd rather be romantic than aromantic" I don't know

I go back and forth 

10. "I can't imagine spending the rest of my life as an aromantic person" True

11. "Being in a romantic relationship would help me attain other goals in my life" False

12. "I think dating sounds like fun" False

Used to like it. Not anymore.

 

True/Somewhat true: 5

False/Somewhat false: 5

I don't know: 2

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Curiouser_And_Curiouser

Het-ace here.

 

1. "I enjoy fictional romantic relationships and would like to experience the same kinds of feelings"

No to most fiction (it usually bores me), yes to the feelings.

 

2. "I like nearly everything about romantic relationships but do not experience romantic attraction"

No. I have it.

 

3. "I would like to be in a romantic relationship, just not with anyone I have ever met"

I've have had a rare few people I would have liked to ask out, but I was too shy.

 

4. "I love the idea of romance but I can't deal with it in real life"

Social anxiety is my life, but I want to get over that.

 

5. "I would like to be in a romantic relationship for practical reasons (not feelings)"

No. I want it for love.

 

6. "I think I would like it if someone had romantic feelings for me"

😍 Yes, if they were ace too. When random guys approach me, I'm too nervous because I know they probably aren't.

 

7. "I would be fine in a romantic relationship or a QPR"

Yep. A QPR seems a little odd to me. I don't think I'd mind one (unless I end up falling for them, which is a very real possibility), but I would prefer a romantic partner.

 

8. "I would like to know what it's like to experience romantic attraction"

Already know.

 

9. "I'd rather be romantic than aromantic"

Honestly, being romantic and ace is kind of annoying. Seems like it would be simpler to be aro-ace.

 

10. "I can't imagine spending the rest of my life as an aromantic person"

I could. But I am torn on if I'd want to.

 

11. "Being in a romantic relationship would help me attain other goals in my life"

Well, not many, to be honest. Adoption and buying a house are the only ones I can think of right now. It just seems like it would be nice to have a life partner.

 

12. "I think dating sounds like fun."

Yeah, once I get over the nerves. And if I could find someone I could get really close to. 😍 Well, long-term dating anyhow. Dating around seems nervewracking.

 

This quiz is making me seem more a(n)ego-rom than het-rom. But I'm going to give it a shot.

Edited by Curiouser_And_Curiouser
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  • 1 month later...

1. "I enjoy fictional romantic relationships and would like to experience the same kinds of feelings"

true. i like the idea of a relationship and would love to experience one but can't picture myself in one.

 

2. "I like nearly everything about romantic relationships but do not experience romantic attraction"

somewhat true. i feel awkward whenever i'm placed in a romantic situation. but i'm not sure if i actually like the idea of a relationship or if i only like it because of social norms and the media.

 

3. "I would like to be in a romantic relationship, just not with anyone I have ever met"

somewhat true. i would like to be in a romantic relationship with this one person but even then i can't picture myself doing relationship things.

 

4. "I love the idea of romance but I can't deal with it in real life"

very much so true.

 

5. "I would like to be in a romantic relationship for practical reasons (not feelings)"

somewhat true. not sure what practical reasons are for being in a relationship but i am curious as to what love feels like.

 

6. "I think I would like it if someone had romantic feelings for me"

true. i do like it. but i want them to be understanding about my possible ace and aro side of me.

 

7. "I would be fine in a romantic relationship or a QPR"

true. especially in a qpr.

 

8. "I would like to know what it's like to experience romantic attraction"

very truue.

 

9. "I'd rather be romantic than aromantic"

true. my craving for love, attraction and intimacy is eating me alive because whenever a moment comes that hints any of those three, i don't experience it; rather i experience the opposite.

 

10. "I can't imagine spending the rest of my life as an aromantic person"

somewhat true. i've started to accept the large possibility of dying alone, but i really wish that could change. really really wish.

 

11. "Being in a romantic relationship would help me attain other goals in my life"

false. though being in a relationship seems nice to have, it isn't a necessity or a large motivator for me to become more successful

 

12. "I think dating sounds like fun"

true. i think what i'm looking forward to in a relationship the most is just having a person - your person - who you go to for everything. like that's YOUR person. bonus points if you were best friends before.

 

true: 7

somewhat true: 4

false: 1

 

i think i'm either cupioromantic or demiromantic but i'm still not quite sure

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1. "I enjoy fictional romantic relationships and would like to experience the same kinds of feelings" Fuck no

 

2. "I like nearly everything about romantic relationships but do not experience romantic attraction" Fuck no, I don't like a damn thing about romantic relationships 

 

3. "I would like to be in a romantic relationship, just not with anyone I have ever met" Gonna have to go with a fuck no as seen above 

 

4. "I love the idea of romance but I can't deal with it in real life" Do I have to keep reiterating myself on this cause once again it's a fuck no

 

5. "I would like to be in a romantic relationship for practical reasons (not feelings)" Only and only if it got me money or something else for my own betterment 

 

6. "I think I would like it if someone had romantic feelings for me" Oh fuck no, that bullshit takes up too much energy trying to get the message through to someone 

 

7. "I would be fine in a romantic relationship or a QPR" I'd have QPR for the sole reason of me having sexual attraction and not wanting to risk STDs from having multiple partners 

 

8. "I would like to know what it's like to experience romantic attraction" Hell to the no, I've seen people close to me deal with it and it either makes you crazy (wanting to marry your partner at age 17 after cheating on them 3 times. Yeah ik a girl that's exactly this) or leaves you heartbroken because of bullshit 

 

9. "I'd rather be romantic than aromantic" See above for more info

 

10. "I can't imagine spending the rest of my life as an aromantic person" I'd much rather life my life as the aro person that I am

 

11. "Being in a romantic relationship would help me attain other goals in my life" I honestly don't understand how marrying gets you anywhere. Honestly it just seems to set you back with all the expenses and junk that come with it


12. "I think dating sounds like fun" I think I'd rather drink a can of petrol than date again

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Low End Things

1. "I enjoy fictional romantic relationships and would like to experience the same kinds of feelings"

 

True, and false. I love reading and watching fictional romantic relationships if they're written well. But I don't want that for myself.

 

2. "I like nearly everything about romantic relationships but do not experience romantic attraction"

 

False. Don't like it, don't feel it.

 

3. "I would like to be in a romantic relationship, just not with anyone I have ever met"

False.

 

4. "I love the idea of romance but I can't deal with it in real life"

 

False. I'm the reverse; I know I could deal with it but I'm not into experiencing it anymore.

 

5. "I would like to be in a romantic relationship for practical reasons (not feelings)"

 

False.

 

6. "I think I would like it if someone had romantic feelings for me"

 

True. Outside of dating apps this hasn't happened since high school. Even if I can't reciprocate, it's nice to feel desired.

 

7. "I would be fine in a romantic relationship or a QPR"

 

True. If I were in a QPR it wouldn't be based off romance. And I'm open to connecting with a romantic person, I love showing affection to others! I know there's more to romance than that, though.

 

8. "I would like to know what it's like to experience romantic attraction"

 

True. I don't need to know but I want to know EVERYTHING, so why not 😂

 

9. "I'd rather be romantic than aromantic"

 

False. I like how I am, it suits my personality honestly.

 

10. "I can't imagine spending the rest of my life as an aromantic person"

 

False. Would have hated it three years ago, but now I love it. I love that I'm in tune with my feelings for the first time in my life and I'm excited for where that will take me.

 

11. "Being in a romantic relationship would help me attain other goals in my life"

False.

 

12. "I think dating sounds like fun"

 

True. Dating IS fun! Just keep expectations fluid throughout the experience.

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On 4/2/2016 at 10:36 AM, mori child said:

I'm interested in hearing the reasons why people do or do not identify as cupioromantic. Whether you are aromantic or cupioromantic or unsure, please take this quiz. I tried to include a variety of responses but I know I haven't included everything so please feel free to expand on your views below.

Which of the following are true for you?

1. "I enjoy fictional romantic relationships and would like to experience the same kinds of feelings"

2. "I like nearly everything about romantic relationships but do not experience romantic attraction"

3. "I would like to be in a romantic relationship, just not with anyone I have ever met"

4. "I love the idea of romance but I can't deal with it in real life"

5. "I would like to be in a romantic relationship for practical reasons (not feelings)"

6. "I think I would like it if someone had romantic feelings for me"

7. "I would be fine in a romantic relationship or a QPR"

8. "I would like to know what it's like to experience romantic attraction"

9. "I'd rather be romantic than aromantic"

10. "I can't imagine spending the rest of my life as an aromantic person"

11. "Being in a romantic relationship would help me attain other goals in my life"

12. "I think dating sounds like fun"

(By the way, here are my answers:

1. True

2. True

3. True

4. Don't know

5. False

6. True

7. Don't know

8. True

9. Maybe

10. Kinda true

11. True

12. True)

1) True

2) True

3) True

4) False

5) False

6) True

7) I don't know yet

8) True

9) True

10) False

11) False

12) True  


So I don't know what I identify as yet, but I'm looking into the different labels. 

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Master Zaydoo

1. "I enjoy fictional romantic relationships and would like to experience the same kinds of feelings"

2. "I like nearly everything about romantic relationships but do not experience romantic attraction"

3. "I would like to be in a romantic relationship, just not with anyone I have ever met"

4. "I love the idea of romance but I can't deal with it in real life"

5. "I would like to be in a romantic relationship for practical reasons (not feelings)"

6. "I think I would like it if someone had romantic feelings for me"

7. "I would be fine in a romantic relationship or a QPR"

8. "I would like to know what it's like to experience romantic attraction"

9. "I'd rather be romantic than aromantic"

10. "I can't imagine spending the rest of my life as an aromantic person"

11. "Being in a romantic relationship would help me attain other goals in my life"

12. "I think dating sounds like fun"

 

1. I enjoy them but not for myself.

2. Nope.

3. Nope.

4. Maybe a little of the idea of romance, but not for myself.

5. Nope.

6. Definitely not unless they were ace.

7. Maybe a QPR, never been in one.

8. Nope.

9. Absolutely not.

10. Absolutely not.

11. Nope!
12. That sounds horrible.

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  • 2 weeks later...
BellaBubTheExplorer

I see myself as cupioromantic. 

 

1. "I enjoy fictional romantic relationships and would like to experience the same kinds of feelings"

 

Yes, I enjoy romantic fictional novels. I'd love to feel that in real life. I haven't been able to feel anything like that though, ever.

 

2. "I like nearly everything about romantic relationships but do not experience romantic attraction"

 

Yes. I love all the ideas and how it works, but I've never had a strong crush or felt the urges to ask someone out specifically. Sort of hard to date when you don't like anyone.

 

3. "I would like to be in a romantic relationship, just not with anyone I have ever met"

 

I'd like to possibly try it, but I don't think it would work out. I don't see people that way.

 

4. "I love the idea of romance but I can't deal with it in real life"

 

What romance? It's not there. At all. Like, romantic smoosh just doesn't seem to happen for me at all.

 

5. "I would like to be in a romantic relationship for practical reasons (not feelings)"

 

Nope. Aromantic (cupioromantic) asexual. I don't like watching any porn at all. Reading it is okay. Sex scenes on T.V, or with real people, I find uncomfortable to watch. Gross. Even rap songs about sex as disgusting. I don't like them at all.

 

6. "I think I would like it if someone had romantic feelings for me"

 

Well, no. Maybe. I'd like a relationship. If they loved me, that would equal closeness and closure, which I want. But I don't like hugging and touching and holding and sex. If that's what they wanted, it probably wouldn't work out. And I wouldn't want to put them through those feelings, and without the physical touch they longed for, if I had the choice. It would probably be really awkward anyway.

 

7. "I would be fine in a romantic relationship or a QPR"

 

Yes. Platonic friends. I mean, I want a relationship, so platonic sort of feels like a step down from "romance", but romance registers in my brain as a mixture of "missing" and "awful eww touching, no". But I want the closeness of dating. QPR would probably be for the best. It would probably be the only thing that would work for me, tbh. I don't know why, but that makes me sad.

 

8. "I would like to know what it's like to experience romantic attraction"

 

Maybe. I mean, I was made the way I am. Would everything change if I felt the feelings like that. I might be happy, but the me who I am now is built off none of that, and I'm happy with who I am. I don't want to change that. If I got to feel it once, I would, but not forever. No.

 

9. "I'd rather be romantic than aromantic"

 

You don't get a choice in that. Can't really turn your nature on and off like a switch. I don't know what it's like to be romantic. I don't know of I'd like it better or not. Still, Aromantic is who I am. I still don't want to change that.

 

10. "I can't imagine spending the rest of my life as an aromantic person"

 

I still can't really change that. I can't choose not to be aromantic. I guess the the answer is no, then. I can't imagine not being aromantic, because I've never been romantic before. I've never really crushed on someone. I've never really felt love. It's not something that's bound to change. Not that it's bad. Apparently, not liking anyone or wanting sex makes me the "innocent one" in the group. I apriciate that about myself, even though I have read smut and I know how sex works. I'm one of the smartest, tallest, one of the older ones in my group of friends, I'm not suppose to be innocent! But, it does me good, and I look at things more logically, whilst still understand peoples lovey dovey morals and guessing how they feel because my brain estimates what dating and love and sex is like, but I don't get caught up in it because I don't like people like that. Helpful when problems and debates arise. Not helpful in that I don't understand what love feels like, so I can't actually relate and not understand everyone around me murders my social cues slightly. Like not knowing when a question is too personal, or if I'm asking too soon after something personal and romance related is said and done. I don't understand officially the love that another person feels. Sometimes I talk extra, or second guess myself, to try and compensate it.

 

11. "Being in a romantic relationship would help me attain other goals in my life"

 

I want to feel closeness with another person. To date and hug and be close. But I find it feels wrong when it happens. So an actual common romantic relationship would just be awkward for both parties. A QPR would be better, get the same things in a way that works better (at all) for me.

 

12. "I think dating sounds like fun"

 

Of course I do! Dating and kissing and loving and holding hands sounds amazing. And horrible in real life. Like, my brain is like, "amazing" at the concept, but when it happens to others, it's like "oh hell nah". I want to know someone will always be beside me. I long for the closeness and the sureness. And all the fluffy feelings sound so fun, it get's me so excited and happy. But that's it. I don't ever feel the actual thing for another person. I've never had a crush, or felt the love before. It's a bit like being excited for a natural disaster happening because you've never been in one before. You imagine it, but you don't know what it's like, because you've never been there. Only, for a copioromantic, you generally can never go there. Does that make sense?

 

That's all I've got for you, sorry. But I hope that puts a little sense to the word Cupioromantic and it's meaning. I saw a lot of aromantics answer and not a lot of cupioromantics, so I thought I'd leave my opinion to help it out. Being cupioromantic... it's not really bad or good to me. It's just part of me. I can't get to the grass on the other side of the bridge, I'm stuck in limbo. But the grass here, I'm sure, has a special taste of it's own. I've never liked anyone like that. Never have. Never will. But that's A okay, 'cause that's just the way I am (who I am). And I'm A okay with that.

 

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I am greyromantic of some sorts but I felt like participating too.

 

Which of the following are true for you?

1. "I enjoy fictional romantic relationships and would like to experience the same kinds of feelings" Kinda. I do ship people and find romance "cute" but tension is more important than pure "cuteness". If the ship does not add anything interesting into the story then leave it out. 

 

2. "I like nearly everything about romantic relationships but do not experience romantic attraction" No. There are some "rituals" that I find stupid - giving each other silly names for example. I enjoy creativity and I can imagine enjoying intimacy but go away with cliché mushiness that is lazily inspired by movies. But I have experienced romantic attraction before.

 

3. "I would like to be in a romantic relationship, just not with anyone I have ever met" Kinda. I don't see myself being emotionally and mentally ready for a relationship. I did see people who I would give a chance and I long for intimacy. But at this point in my life if would all just end in tears after the hormones have calmed down.

 

4. "I love the idea of romance but I can't deal with it in real life" Yes. At least when it comes to serious relationships. I haven't found a person yet who I could imagine being together with beyond the honeymoon phase.

 

5. "I would like to be in a romantic relationship for practical reasons (not feelings)" Nah. What practical reasons would that even be?

 

6. "I think I would like it if someone had romantic feelings for me" Kinda yes. I'd probably feel flattered and weird at the same time. Talk about low self-esteem.

 

7. "I would be fine in a romantic relationship or a QPR" Generally spoken, yes. 

 

8. "I would like to know what it's like to experience romantic attraction" - Since I have experienced a crush already idk what to answer but I have never experienced this "true love" thing and I would love to... so.... I guess that counts as a Yes.

 

9. "I'd rather be romantic than greyromantic"No. Changed "aromantic" to "greyromantic". I don't want to have crushes more often, these things are draining as hell. But I DO want to experience it again sometime... with someone I've actually got a chance with lmao.

 

10. "I can't imagine spending the rest of my life as an greyromantic person" No. I'd prefer to crush rarely but with a better quality.

 

11. "Being in a romantic relationship would help me attain other goals in my life" Kinda. I meaaaan it WOULD polish my self-esteem but also not really because ideally one should already have a good self-esteem in order to be happy in the relationship. So I'd probably experience a level up in self-esteem followed by a level down.

 

12. "I think dating sounds like fun" Not really. No experience here but I think dating sounds so complicated and stressful? I'd rather approach this through a friend cycle, meeting people until I like someone enough to approach them in a dating-kinda-way. Or I am getting approached by someone I like. 

 

(Chances are, I haven't understood the concept of dating yet XD)

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I'm questioning my romantic orientation but I'm leaning towards aro at the moment:

 

1. "I enjoy fictional romantic relationships and would like to experience the same kinds of feelings"

Kind of? I enjoy fictional romantic relationships, but I'm not sure I would like to experience the same kinds of feelings myself. I like the idea of being close to another person emotionally, but the constant effort and physical contact puts me off a bit.

 

2. "I like nearly everything about romantic relationships but do not experience romantic attraction"

No. I like some things about romantic relationships, but I would say overall that I dislike about as much or more than I like. I don't think I experience romantic attraction.

 

3. "I would like to be in a romantic relationship, just not with anyone I have ever met"

No. I don't want to be in a romantic relationship in the traditional sense, with anyone.

 

4. "I love the idea of romance but I can't deal with it in real life"

Not really? Again I like some parts of "romance"; I also can't deal with romantic relationships in real life.

 

5. "I would like to be in a romantic relationship for practical reasons (not feelings)"

No. I don't want to be in a romantic relationship for any reason.

 

6. "I think I would like it if someone had romantic feelings for me"

NOO This has happened before and I always feel guilty about not reciprocating the same type of feelings especially if I'm close to the person in a friend way.

 

7. "I would be fine in a romantic relationship or a QPR"

No? I used to think this, but I broke up with my last boyfriend because I realized that being in a romantic relationship is not something that I enjoy or get fulfillment out of. I would 1000000% like to be in a QPR though.

 

8. "I would like to know what it's like to experience romantic attraction"

Yes. That way I would be confident in saying that I'm aro and not have to be questioning like this haha.

 

9. "I'd rather be romantic than aromantic"

Maybe. It would make some things easier if I were alloromantic, but I would be a different person.

 

10. "I can't imagine spending the rest of my life as an aromantic person"

No. My ideal rest of my life situation is to be in a committed QPR, and I could definitely do that as an aromantic person.

 

11. "Being in a romantic relationship would help me attain other goals in my life"

No. It would maybe make social gatherings easier, but it would probably hinder me from doing the things I want to do before I start my career (I'm a college student).

 

12. "I think dating sounds like fun"

Not really. I really enjoy getting to know people, so a first date would maybe be fun if we were just talking and finding out cool stuff about one another. Any other date would not be fun with the romantic actions expected.

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1. "I enjoy fictional romantic relationships and would like to experience the same kinds of feelings"

-- True

 

2. "I like nearly everything about romantic relationships but do not experience romantic attraction"  

-- Somewhat true? I don't feel attraction towards people I barely know. it can build up for other people though. From my personal history, I had platonic relationships with people I developed romantic attraction to. Always after they tell me they like me. Which feels narcissistic to say: I'm only attracted to people attracted to me (because they have great taste! hahaha). But that's because I only start considering if i can reciprocate their feelings even just a little rather than just dismissing it outright which seems impolite. It doesn't always turn out positive: I don't think I can feel that way for him, being with her would be too chaotic, she's married and in another relationship and I don't want to add to that mess (I have nothing against poly-romances but its not for me, and for that specific person, it was messy), this is a phase for her she clearly is still hung up on her recently ended relationship (they got back together). I hate that I'm always rationalising this, but I can't not... my gut feel is to rationalise to death.

 

3. "I would like to be in a romantic relationship, just not with anyone I have ever met"

-- True

 

4. "I love the idea of romance but I can't deal with it in real life"

-- Not necessarily true. I can deal with it in a relationship. Is it performative due to society and my partner's expectation of romance in an effort from me to make her happy rather than being true to myself? Yes.

 

5. "I would like to be in a romantic relationship for practical reasons (not feelings)"

-- Somewhat false. I like the connection and comfort a relationship brings. And while I think I'm gonna be fine without it being a romantic relationship, I am also fine with it being a romantic one especially if it makes my partner happy. I don't want to be in a relationship just to have someone to share rent with.

 

6. "I think I would like it if someone had romantic feelings for me"

-- It's a little irritating coming from guys who I have barely spoken with outside of polite greetings (especially if they insist it on you). It's funny/sad from guys who know me, because 'dude, seriously?' It's awkward from girls, no matter how much they know me or how close they are to me. And if I'm single, i always go through my default logical settings of trying to figure out if its infatuation or they're serious and if I can see myself in a relationship with them enough to compel me to do something about it. 

 

7. "I would be fine in a romantic relationship or a QPR"

-- True (I ended to look up what QPR was)

 

8. "I would like to know what it's like to experience romantic attraction"

-- True. 

 

9. "I'd rather be romantic than aromantic"

-- I don't know. I thought I was just weird that I navigate through attraction and romance this way. I have just recently learned its normal and okay when before I have always tried to compensate for it by doing what was expected. 

 

10. "I can't imagine spending the rest of my life as an aromantic person"

-- True. but maybe as I get more information, i can widen my imagination.

 

11. "Being in a romantic relationship would help me attain other goals in my life"

-- False, i don't really have goals in life except 'don't be stupid' and 'don't be an ass'

 

12. "I think dating sounds like fun"

-- True. And dating doesn't have to be romantic right? I love going on platonic dates with friends.

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 1. True I suppose, though I'm not sure how it'd feel. It looks fun though. 😏

2. True, at least I like reading about them and stuff. Not a fan of the drama aspect though.

3. True! Fantasy romance all the way! 😆

4. True. Romance sounds lovely in theory, in practice it looks like a lot of hard work.

5. False, I don't even understand how it'd be practical.

6. False, I feel intimidated if I learn someone likes me that way. I guess if they were a sweet person I might be flattered though.

7. I don't know! Never experienced either.

8. True.. but also false, some people say it hurts emotionally. 😅

9. Maybe, if I could find a healthy relationship with little conflict.

10. False, I think I could come to terms with it.

11. Maybe, one of my dreams is traveling the world with someone special, perhaps that would be romantic, who knows.

12. Not sure, depends on the person and their personal life. 🙂

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Accidentally posted three times, how do I delete posts? 😳

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1.  I enjoy fictional romantic relationships and would like to experience the same kinds of feelings

     Is this talking about romance novels? I love them! 

2.  I like nearly everything about romantic relationships but do not experience romantic attraction

     Still contemplating my romantic orientation... but I like the idea of romance

3.  I would like to be in a romantic relationship, just not with anyone I have ever met

     False, I think I could have a romantic relationship with someone, though dating with people I have just met seems a little scary to me...

4.  I love the idea of romance but I can't deal with it in real life

     True for the first part, I think I could deal with it, as long as I really like the person and the relationship isn't affecting me negatively.

5.  I would like to be in a romantic relationship for practical reasons (not feelings)

     I would rather not get married, and be a nice single pringle.

6.  I think I would like it if someone had romantic feelings for me

     Yeah, it would make me feel special. As long as they're a good person...

7.  I would be fine in a romantic relationship or a QPR

     QPR's still kind of confuse me. 

8.  I would like to know what it's like to experience romantic attraction

     I would like to know if I experience it or not, or if I do in some form

9.  I'd rather be romantic than aromantic

     As long as I'm happy and feel good about myself, I wouldn't care.

10.  I can't imagine spending the rest of my life as an aromantic person

       I wouldn't be that hard for me.

11. Being in a romantic relationship would help me attain other goals in my life

      Yes, I could learn more about myself.

12. I think dating sounds like fun

      If I truly feel something for the person. I wouldn't want to continue staying with them because I would feel guilty for breaking up. If someone asked me out I would probably        want to know them at least a little more first. Not best friends, just a little more than acquaintances.

 

Based on my answers, what does this sound like? Attraction is so confusing...

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