Raindrop Posted March 27, 2016 Share Posted March 27, 2016 Hi everyone! I hope you all are well. I didn't log on here for a while and now I forgot my password so I created a new account. Anyways so my question is I am 26, and have kissed many guys. I never feel anything when I do it, and the only reason I do it is to sort of go with the flow(as they initiate it). I'm always hopeful that this time it will be different. This time I will feel something, but... Nothing... I feel like I'm missing out because they seem to really enjoy themselves.. I've read that for some people they have to be in love to enjoy the kiss but it seems that at least sexuals kiss to determine compatibility or to explore their passion for each other (and this seems to happen in the early stage of dating). In other words they don't wait to be in love to kiss but they still enjoy it..? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Julinha Posted March 27, 2016 Share Posted March 27, 2016 Hi everyone! I hope you all are well. I didn't log on here for a while and now I forgot my password so I created a new account. Anyways so my question is I am 26, and have kissed many guys. I never feel anything when I do it, and the only reason I do it is to sort of go with the flow(as they initiate it). I'm always hopeful that this time it will be different. This time I will feel something, but... Nothing... I feel like I'm missing out because they seem to really enjoy themselves.. I've read that for some people they have to be in love to enjoy the kiss but it seems that at least sexuals kiss to determine compatibility or to explore their passion for each other (and this seems to happen in the early stage of dating). In other words they don't wait to be in love to kiss but they still enjoy it..? Hi and welcome back Raindrop! Oh boy, In my entire life I've only enjoyed kissing one person when I was in my late teens, early 20s, but that ended fast and I've never liked it. Yeah, it's true, people kiss just to kiss sometimes without any love - sometimes "just for fun?" and sometimes for "lust?" (Yuckee-poo, I say), but that's them. But yeah, so many people kiss before they are in love, especially these days. I think it was way different back in the old days; even in the 50's which isn't too far back, (well, for me, anyways, lol), that there were many that would wait. I can't imagine kissing ANYone anymore (except my cats, and only on the head or the belly! hee) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
nanogretchen4 Posted March 27, 2016 Share Posted March 27, 2016 Demisexual here, so I haven't experienced sexual attraction separate from romantic attraction. I love kissing people I'm in love with. Kissing people I'm not in love with is very unpleasant. The exception is social kissing, like people who kiss hello. That just feels neutral. Except for this guy who is obviously attracted to me but never says anything who sometimes just comes up from behind me and kisses me on the cheek while I'm talking to someone else. That's sort of gross. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Kawaii Sushi Posted March 27, 2016 Share Posted March 27, 2016 I think this is interesting. Personally I don't feel anything when I kiss my boyfriend, and believe me, I really love him. But we still kiss, mostly because he want to do it, I can definitely have a relationship without kissing. My boyfriend has told me he feel something when we kiss, but he can't describe it. My head, is as I said, blanc. But to the point, I think this has with asexuality to do, I'm asexual, my boyfriend is sexual. Kissing is something sexual and biologically asexuals have less testosterone, estrogen and less dopamin (stuff that triggers stuff in the brain that makes you happy) are released when you do something sexual. On a sexual person more dopamin is released. Less happy stuff in your brain when you kiss = less feelings (I think) So it's logical :) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
radical acceptance Posted March 27, 2016 Share Posted March 27, 2016 I think this is interesting, too. I do not enjoy kissing. It is like I have no feelings in my lips when kissing. I find it boring and even irritating and wonder what I should be doing during kissing. I do however like to be kissed on my neck. Whatever! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
deltaX Posted March 27, 2016 Share Posted March 27, 2016 I can't speak for sexual/romantic people as a whole, but I do know a handful of people who enjoying kissing just for the sake of kissing. That's something that's hard for me to understand because I really dislike the sensation of kissing. I did it sometimes because, like you, I was hoping it would get better. It never did- to this day I still find kissing slightly gross and unnesscary. So at least, you're not the only one who doesn't like to kiss. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
tase Posted March 27, 2016 Share Posted March 27, 2016 While I'm cool with cuddling, hugging, and possibly other stuff, I am not a huge fan of kissing. I can deal (or believe I would) with maybe 15-20 seconds (maybe a tad more) of passionate closed mouth kissing. Keep your tongue to yourself, thank you. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Grumpy Alien Posted March 27, 2016 Share Posted March 27, 2016 I HATE kissing. Hate hate hate. I don't like anything about it. It's gross. And I hate that I hate it. They seem to enjoy it, why can't I? What is it they like? I'm hoping that if I somehow get a Prince Charming, I won't mind kissing him. This whole thing shattered my expectations from books. Kissing is not a magical experience for me. I'm not sure there will ever be fireworks. I can't even imagine kissing the most attractive celebrities. I'm not into cuddling but I'd rather do that. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
SpeedinThroughSpace Posted March 27, 2016 Share Posted March 27, 2016 I found that I somehow instinctively know HOW to kiss, but I don't like doing it. It does nothing for me. I also expected it would get pleasant once you get used to it (putting your mouth on someone else's mouth sounded weird to me from the start, but maybe once you get used to it...?), but nope. It didn't make me feel connected with my girlfriend or anything of the sort. I kind of thought it would... :-/ Actually, although I'm not really into that either, I would say I prefer sex if I had to choose one of them. At least sex is physically pleasant, kissing does nothing. It's just really awkward. Like, what are we doing here? Why are we doing it again? When can we do something else? I compromised by seeing kissing as a chance to cuddle (I love cuddles) and focused on the cuddling and closeness instead of on the motions of kissing... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
champagnerain Posted March 27, 2016 Share Posted March 27, 2016 It depends on the type of kissing, for me. I tend to enjoy kissing more with the lips than with tongue. The feeling of someone's tongue rubbing against mine is deeply disturbing to me, and I really wonder if there are people who enjoy that kind of kissing. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Telecaster68 Posted March 27, 2016 Share Posted March 27, 2016 There's at least one, and unless every woman I've ever kissed was lying, considerably more than that. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 27, 2016 Share Posted March 27, 2016 It depends on the type of kissing, for me. I tend to enjoy kissing more with the lips than with tongue. The feeling of someone's tongue rubbing against mine is deeply disturbing to me, and I really wonder if there are people who enjoy that kind of kissing. Yeah, some people like it. I don't get it... I love kissing with lips, but tongue is just like "OK, feels weird, er, am I supposed to move my tongue around? OK, how? Erm, tastes weird now. OK... we done...?" Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Telecaster68 Posted March 27, 2016 Share Posted March 27, 2016 The sexy thing for me rather than the physical sensation (which is nice too) is the interplay between the kissers, teasing, entering, withdrawing, harder, softer, the whole variety. And of course it's a proxy for PIV to an extent. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tripp Posted March 28, 2016 Share Posted March 28, 2016 I actually stopped kissing my family and told them not to kiss me since I was about 8 or 9. I guess you could call that Kiss-averse? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Nea Rose Symphony Posted March 28, 2016 Share Posted March 28, 2016 I'm fine with kissing if it's my boyfriend only. If I were to kiss anyone else I can see myself feeling repulsed. I used to feel something warm within me but now I feel nothing really. It's still nice as a bonding method. Only thing I don't like is his "needs" during passionate kissing (which made me realize I'm asexual in the first place) I've gotten used to tongue kissing. For awhile it freaked me out and feeling the bottom of his tongue is still bleah Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Raindrop Posted March 28, 2016 Author Share Posted March 28, 2016 Hello all! Thanks for your replies, and the warm welcome! You've given me a lot to think about, but the most comforting thing is I always feel understood here... The whole kissing thing is strange to me... Here's some cake! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
TheOverThinkingIdealist Posted March 29, 2016 Share Posted March 29, 2016 I always thought I would love it, from books and movies, I was always a dreamy romantic. But in reality, it turns out, I don't like it. I don't think I mind kissing without tongue. But kissing with tongue ranges from boring to gross for me. Granted, I have never french-kissed anyone I actually liked. They were all strangers and I was never sober. But afterwards I'm always like. 'Nah, don't want to be doing that again.' There was only one time that I was like 'ok stop. I don't want to do this, I'm leaving', but ended up staying a bit longer talking to distract the guy as long as possible so my friend could continue with his friend without him going back to disturb them. Then we kissed without tongue for a bit and I actually kinda liked that. But with tongue, and everything else that follows, no, thank you very much. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
deleted_account Posted April 1, 2016 Share Posted April 1, 2016 I used to like kissing a lot, but my libido died down. I still am capable of feeling love, but I've been insulted so many times by guys who said I was bad at kissing, so I just kind of do it when it feels right and I'm not very confident about my ability. I also have a lung condition (Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease), so I can't kiss for prolonged periods of time without feeling like I'll have a heart attack, haha. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Autumn Season Posted April 1, 2016 Share Posted April 1, 2016 I find kissing boring. And I don't like it when somebody or something comes close to my face. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
starry-night-sky Posted April 3, 2016 Share Posted April 3, 2016 I've never been kissed so I don't really know whether I'd like it or not. But I kinda like the idea of kissing, it's something I fantasize about when I have a crush. I've heard from at least one sexual person who doesn't like kissing and is disgusted by it. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Hermit Advocate Posted April 6, 2016 Share Posted April 6, 2016 I don't mind a brief kiss, but making out for a long period of time, even without tongue, I find to be both a turn off and boring. In the past while making out with my boyfriend I have gotten so bored by kissing that I ended up doing homework in my head. French kissing is a huge turn off for me. Personally I think society builds up the notion of kissing so much that I was bound to find it disappointing. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted April 6, 2016 Share Posted April 6, 2016 my first kiss was from my friend :/ we were 12 i think & we were playing truth or dare w/ my big sis & her friend & i remember feeling so weird during it either b/c i was french kissing another girl or i realized it was my first kiss ever but after that i felt nothing i wish i could forget about it omg i dont like kissing at all & i find it weird i mean its nice to think about but in the end i wont bring myself to do it Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Éadweard Posted April 6, 2016 Share Posted April 6, 2016 Do not like kissing. It's weird. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Visenya Posted April 6, 2016 Share Posted April 6, 2016 I only kissed one guy when I was 16 and I regret it. I only did it out of peer pressure, but I think that, if I had kissed someone I actually liked, I wouldn't have hated it as much. I can't tell how I would feel about tongue kissing, though. I can't breathe through my nose very well, so I don't think I could make out for a long time without feeling out of breath. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sister Nightfall Posted April 7, 2016 Share Posted April 7, 2016 I don't mind kissing but it gets boring if it is drawn out or happens often (within the same hour). Either I don't get bored when I'm drunk or I just can't remember that I was bored. Either is possible. It might be different if I was in love with the person. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Homer Posted April 8, 2016 Share Posted April 8, 2016 My first "real" kiss was when I was about 18 or 19 years old and it was awful. However, it did improve a little and I actually enjoyed it later on but that joy only lasted for a brief period of time. Tried it again some 15 years later, same result. Besides that I think that I really suck at kissing (no pun intended). I wouldn't mind never doing it again. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Someone Else Posted April 8, 2016 Share Posted April 8, 2016 I can picture kissing being like a celebration that I've found someone with whom i can even tolerate doing that with them. I couldn't really do it with a stranger, for instance. it'd mean a lot if I found someone where we were mutually "ok with it." Very, very elusive in my life. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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