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Why is sex potrayed as "dirty"


Lord Jade Cross

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Lord Jade Cross

In my head the "clinical prcedure" is basically... not sex. I think it's a matter of interpretation, but for me sex is more of a mental construct, acting in a certain manner than the actual sequence of movements. It's about what you feel, not what you do.

Aaa. So clean sex might actually be extended peaceful, friendly cuddling , without a note of wilderness or excitement.

Interesting, I used a similar explanation once with regards to sex and masturbation.

Ive been reading the comments and have to agree with the idea that the unclenliness of sex is still religious based or grounded in the context of the idea (by physical terms alone, it is also dirty as the opposite of clean)

Being raised under Christian beliefs, Im familiar with the base of sex as a sin and also its immediate contradiction. After all, how can you be dirty for seeking sex outside of marriage but not once in it? Also how can it be sinful to engage in sex outside it but not within it? And of course my favorite of all; sex is for making children and thats deemed acceptable yet tell them that you wont have kids, because it involves sex and sex is sinful and all hell will break lose *snickers*. These and many other things are why I cannot really follow my upbringing religion. Its too bogus and contradictory.

Its also amuzing how society condems sex but will shove it in your face at every corner. Car adds, clothes, casino message boards, and so on.

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As someone else said, I'm not sure if it's entirely religious, but most likely it's the residual effects that creep into childrearing. Growing up, how many of us were encouraged to explore our, and others', anatomy? How many of us were encouraged to see sex as natural as children? There's this belief that we have to shield children from sex because it's... what? Dangerous, harmful, shameful, dirty? How many of us were shamed in our lives for some sexual and/or bodily act? If your body, your curiosity about it, and its functions are treated shamefully when you're a kid, it's not like you're suddenly going to forget all that once you hit puberty. It's more a question of fighting thru the shitty conditioning, and some people are better at that than others.

The dirty talk is different... I'd almost call that a reappropriation of the word "dirty".

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Telecaster68

Now you mention it, I think a lot of it is reappropriation.

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I've never been taught sex was "dirty" and I never felt it was. But I wanted myself to be "above" such desires in my early teens. I honestly haven't a clue why.

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Lord Jade Cross

As someone else said, I'm not sure if it's entirely religious, but most likely it's the residual effects that creep into childrearing. Growing up, how many of us were encouraged to explore our, and others', anatomy? How many of us were encouraged to see sex as natural as children? There's this belief that we have to shield children from sex because it's... what? Dangerous, harmful, shameful, dirty? How many of us were shamed in our lives for some sexual and/or bodily act? If your body, your curiosity about it, and its functions are treated shamefully when you're a kid, it's not like you're suddenly going to forget all that once you hit puberty. It's more a question of fighting thru the shitty conditioning, and some people are better at that than others.

The dirty talk is different... I'd almost call that a reappropriation of the word "dirty".

Conditioning but one that has been based off religious background. After all, in society as a separate entity, there is no concept of the body being dirty in the sense it is attributed in religious orders. I dont believe its mere residue either. We are not really all that different in age gaps. And to this day, you can still go to schools in which such beliefs are still being indoctrinated.

Can you elaborate a bit on what you mean by reapropiation though? I think I have an idea but language tends to be very unreliable many times and I want to make sure Im on the same page.

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I meant something along the lines of using the word sort of... tongue in cheek... ironically... taking the idea of "dirty" and making it all sexy. IDK, that's just my impression.

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Lord Jade Cross
You mention taking the word "dirty" and making sexy. How would you go about doing it?
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A "forbidden fruit" temptation, I guess.

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Lord Jade Cross

A "forbidden fruit" temptation, I guess.

Maybe but it would still carry a feeling of something that shouldnt be done which I feel would elicit the feelings of it being dirty.

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A "forbidden fruit" temptation, I guess.

Maybe but it would still carry a feeling of something that shouldnt be done which I feel would elicit the feelings of it being dirty.

Dirty talk lives at an intersection between the "forbidden fruit" thing and the "sharing an inside secret" thing, because to some extent it's like... "it's hilarious they call this dirty because it's so so good".

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The thing is when society tells me I shouldn't do something but I'm not actually harming anyone when I do it, it only tempts me to do it even 10 times more, both because it's enjoyable and because I can imagine how it'd piss them off :D

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Telecaster68

Reappropriation would be taking back the term and using it to celebrate raucous, wild, messy, rough sex as a 'fuck you' to the people who want to use it to shame or ridicule. A bit like homosexuals have done consciously with 'queer'.

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Lord Jade Cross

A "forbidden fruit" temptation, I guess.

Maybe but it would still carry a feeling of something that shouldnt be done which I feel would elicit the feelings of it being dirty.

Dirty talk lives at an intersection between the "forbidden fruit" thing and the "sharing an inside secret" thing, because to some extent it's like... "it's hilarious they call this dirty because it's so so good".

I cant say I know the exact parameter of that feeling, but I can image a portion of it if I take it into perspective using other non related but equal autorithy defying actions.
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Because it inevitably involves a lot of sweating which very frequently results in bathing.

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I think sex is called dirty in a metaphorical sense because it is actually dirty. Or more precisely because it involves the sort of things which, in normal circumstances, are likely to trigger our natural disgust mechanisms in the same way dirt does. In most circumstances other people's bodily fluids are the sort of things we shy away from. eg For many people, shaking someone's hand which is damp with sweat is disgusting in a way which shaking someone's hand which is damp from rain is not.

One of the things which generally happens in puberty is something develops in the brain which allows it to overcome this natural feeling of disgust when one is sexually attracted. eg there are many people who would refuse to drink from a bottle that someone else had drunk from (because of the saliva and "germs"). But put them in a sexual situation with someone they are attracted to, and they happily kiss them, despite the exchange of saliva which takes place. But now get them to imagine kissing someone they are not attracted to - eg a 90 year old - and they find that idea disgusting.

I think this also goes a long way to explaining homophobia - note that a very common term used by homophobes to describe homosexuals is "disgusting".

I think it also goes some way to explaining why sexual abuse is so hard to recover from - note that victims often describe themselves as feeling "dirty".

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