Neko-tama Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 This is supposed to be a thread where you can let off some steam about things you are sick of hearing from cis people. While you can include things transphobes say, I'll be starting of with two things I hear people say who want to be supportive, that I hate hearing so much: 1. "You are so brave!" No, I am not. I'm a coward and that's fine. I am not brave for embracing who I am. The decision to transition was made in order to survive, not to serve some weird notion of bravery. I get that they want to be nice and supportive, but i's just wrong. 2. "You look like a women." While I am also a little flattered by this one, because like it or not being perceived the way I identify makes me feel nice, the next thing I feel is sadness, because the person who said that doesn't understand that of fucking course I look like a woman. I am one! The fact that you aren't aware of that tells me that you don't accept my identity and that your support is completely superficial. What do you keep hearing from cis people , that makes your eyes roll, or your adrenaline gland work extra hard? Link to post Share on other sites
girltwink666 Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 "are u a boy or a girl" buddy pal the answer is No Link to post Share on other sites
sophiaphilo Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 Getting casually outed. I'm not very shy about the fact that I'm trans, I choose to disclose fairly often. But I hate hate hate when a cis friend assumes this means I don't care and then spreads that information. Just because I trust fairly quickly doesn't mean I trust you to trust for me. It's my information, I get to control when and to whom it's given. Link to post Share on other sites
Emery. Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 "That's so brave" Why is wearing a women's trouser suit brave??? Isn't it already within the norm? "... as for a girl" I'm not a girl in the first place , how come would I do something like your average girl? "You'd look so cute in it!" You seriously want me to look like someone else, you think I'm someone else.... "Show your inner femininity" I don't know what you mean in particular... Do you mean my uterus? That's nuts! And thank you for treating me like a meatbag! Link to post Share on other sites
Soup Can Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 I'm sorry, but I'd just like to point out that when people say "you look like a woman." They probably aren't implying that they think you aren't a woman. I presume you object to the use of "like". They were obviously trying to give you a specific compliment and I don't see how else they could have expressed it. They could have said that you looked feminine but I'd probably have taken that to be more offensive. Besides, not all women look feminine and I don't know your style. "You are a woman" is obviously just a statement of fact rather than a compliment. They could have just said that you look beautiful/attractive but for all I know you didn't look beautiful/attractive and, besides, that doesn't really relate specifically to your desire to be perceived the way you identify. "You look like how other women tend to" just seems weird to say. Obviously, if they had of said something like "you look like a ciswoman" then that's just way worse to me. My point is, you should probably just be flattered because they obviously wanted to express that compliment to you and you said you find it flattering and I can't think of a better way of expressing it. So don't rush to write them off as only superficially supporting you. To answer your question though, I hate being told that I just spend too much time on tumblr (I don't even use tumblr and I never have). And I hate being asked what's between my legs. The worst was probably when I was told that I'm just a girl who's been confused by all the transgender people in the media. What does that one even mean?? Link to post Share on other sites
Sutaomiiru Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 "I have no idea what gender I am." "You are guy, you have a penis." ... So much for trying to come out. Link to post Share on other sites
Confusion 0 Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 "Oh, hello young man." I'm not a man, please. "Let the young man through." Not a man. Please stop. "Excuse me, young man?" No. Just no. Stop. Now. I'm begging you. "Hello? This young man wanted you." STOP IT! I'M NOT A MAN! STOP!!!!!!!! "But you don't want to be female, so you must be male." No. I am not male. "So then you want to be female." No, I do not. "You're either one or the other." No, don't f***ing tell me what I am. Only I have the right to do that. Even my mum is guilty of this... <_< Link to post Share on other sites
Lady Norgard Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 Although I'm not trans, my bi gender friend was very confused about their gender a while ago. They spoke to me about it and I helped them out, but when they told another friend 'I don't know what my gender is', he responded with 'look down, do you have boobs? If so, you're a girl.' Both of us wanted to hit him, and it took a good half an hour to explain that sex and gender aren't the same thing. Link to post Share on other sites
Chardog Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 Just any cis het male hitting on me.. Primary cause of my dysphoria because it reminds me in a thing not a person (doesn't help that I was raised by people who would have preferred a robot versus a human child). Link to post Share on other sites
God of the Forest Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 I put something here earlier but realized..I was in the wrong topic..sorry :( Link to post Share on other sites
Evren Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 Agender? That doesn't exist. Your being a special snowflake You are stupid, insane, weird, unacceptable.... Pick one, male or female If you were going to change your name, you should have changed it to this one Awww, it's just a phase You'll grow out it Eventually you'll want to be pregnant You actually want to get rid of your breasts? (this from my therapists who knew I wanted top surgery for months and was still surprised when I talked about looking up surgeons) You are only trans because you were abused as a child (because this is somehow going to stop me from being trans) You are queer because you were abused. (see above) I will love you no matter what you do...Gay guys holding hands and walking in a train station disgust me (two separate statements from my mother, the reasons I don't come out) And finally my father, I hope you never meet him. fags should die, those sissies will burn in hell, they all need to be taken out back and shot, omg you cut your hair, your becoming so progressive, I hate gays, etc.... Link to post Share on other sites
SquidKen Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 Evren, your father sounds like my father. Though he's usually an okay guy until those topics come up. From guys, I get 'but boobs are awesome!' When I say I want too surgery. Then they get offended when I ask how they would feel about having them. Asking about what's in my pants or what will be, anything involving asking about my crotch. Or asking 'how do you have sex?' Granted I don't mind talking about this stuff about people I'm closer to, but it isn't something I wanna just talk about with everyone. I hate it when one of my hobbies is used as 'proof' that I'm really a girl. Because only girls sew, babysit, write kids' stories. Again, I don't mind being teased about it by FRIENDS, people who call me Kenny, use the proper pronouns and treat me otherwise no different than they would a cisman. I don't like being asked what my family thinks about it. On the surface it's a very innocent question, but for anyone with family who will/has disowned them or are generally unaccepting and hurtful, it's an awful thing to have to think about or explain. 'You have female anatomy, you are female.' Am not. And why does it matter if I do? Not like anyone will ever see any of it, why should not matter? 'You'll always be a girl to me' 'okay, but I'm still going to call you by your birth name's 'I just don't think of you that way'. Your opinion on what I am is worthless and does not change reality, and I cannot be your friend. That doesn't make me selfish, it makes me smart, I'm cutting out unnecessary pain. 'Yeah, I'm totally a boy too!' No, you aren't. You go by your birth name, dress extremely feminine, call yourself a girl, and otherwise display yourself as a woman. Not that guys can't be feminine, but I'm sure someone else knows what I mean. It's like when my lesbian friend comes out and gets 'yeah, I used to be a lesbian too'. 'You're just a tomboy' tomboys still identify as female. I don't. 'You'll grow out of it!' Won't. Shortening my birth name to make it sound like a boy's also makes me mad. That isn't my name. Them asking rudely why I would pick Kenneth. I don't mind nicely asking. I also don't like when they insist I pick a different one. Yeah, I had reasons for picking this one. Link to post Share on other sites
Calligraphette_Coe Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 "Sooner or later, you'll have to have sex with someone, then what will you do?" ( Really? After a quarter century of happy abstinence? Not happening.) "No cishet would have you, looking the way you look." ( Remember that quarter century thingie? If the walls had eyes before then......) Link to post Share on other sites
butterflydreams Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 "Stop trying to impress us" - my mom Link to post Share on other sites
ChillaKilla Posted March 16, 2016 Share Posted March 16, 2016 "I'm not cis I'm normal!" <- BIG ONE Alt: "TERF is a slur!" *grinds teeth* "So you want to become a hermaphrodite?" <-wtf "You want to transition? But you're SO GOOD LOOKING (by cis standards)!" When I'm online... "Trans male? You mean becoming a woman?" I'm not FTM but this just pisses me off. Why would a MTF woman label herself as male?! Do y'all cis use yer brains? Surprised there hasn't been any butthurt or cisplaining yet... INB4! Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 16, 2016 Share Posted March 16, 2016 "As a christian girl you are supposed to find a christian husband and God will bless you and your husband with kids" "You are a woman, you are supposed to obey your husband and give him sex or else he will run away or cheat on you" When people online say: "I know you are a girl but i will always view you as a boy" and refuse to use the right pronoun on you. Thats just so sexist and ignorant i cant even... I know what i have in my pants but i hate it when people constantly refer to me as what i have in my pants it makes it even harder to accept myself and to be free to be who i want to be. Link to post Share on other sites
penaynay Posted March 23, 2016 Share Posted March 23, 2016 Being referred to as lady, woman, or man. It is more tolerable if it is from strangers but when my boyfriend calls me a lady or woman it makes me feel sick. My parents keeps on trying to make me more feminine and "act" like a woman. Getting harassed or weird looks from strangers when my boyfriend and I go out. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Sheka4 Posted March 23, 2016 Share Posted March 23, 2016 "Where did you find your gender identity from? Tumblr?" "If you have X set of genitalia then you're X binary gender" Link to post Share on other sites
ChillaKilla Posted March 23, 2016 Share Posted March 23, 2016 "If you have X set of genitalia then you're X binary gender""Intersex should be fixed at birth! It's a disorder!"No, it is not. For something to be medically considered a disorder it has to negatively impact someone's life. There are plenty of people who experience symptoms of mental disorders but since it does not interfere with their lives, they don't have a "mental disorder". Of course there are intersex conditions that could be potentially dangerous, if the urethra doesn't properly form/internal testes present a cancer risk, but the vast majority of people are not negatively impacted by their intersexuality at all. "XX is female. XY is male" Really? When was the last time YOU got a karyotype test? Link to post Share on other sites
Evren Posted March 23, 2016 Share Posted March 23, 2016 His genes are male so he will always be a man, talking about a trans woman. (Also no, her genes are XY, they dont have preffered pronouns) Link to post Share on other sites
dissolved Posted March 23, 2016 Share Posted March 23, 2016 "Have you tried just being gay?" Cue the long conversation about the differences between gender identity and sexuality... "So you're gay then?" Sigh. Link to post Share on other sites
ChillaKilla Posted March 23, 2016 Share Posted March 23, 2016 "Have you tried just being gay?" Cue the long conversation about the differences between gender identity and sexuality... "So you're gay then?" Sigh. Don't you know? Gay trans men and women are just nonexistent unicorns! *Whinnies majestically* Link to post Share on other sites
Heart Posted March 23, 2016 Share Posted March 23, 2016 (Also no, her genes are XY, they dont have preffered pronouns) I love this! Link to post Share on other sites
SquidKen Posted March 24, 2016 Share Posted March 24, 2016 I also hate this conversation: 'So what's your name?' 'Kenny.' 'Your real name.' 'Kenneth.' 'No, your REAL name.' 'Oh. Kenneth William, that's my full first name.' 'NO! Your REAL name! The one you were born with!' 'Kenneth William.' A transman/woman's real name is the name that reflects their true gender (or lack of) the one that doesn't make them want to curl up and hide. The name they give when they introduce themselves and choose to be called is their name. Their birth name is not, and it's none of your damn business what it is if they don't wish to share it with you. It drives me absolutely crazy that the bitchy female name I was given at birth is branded as my 'real name'. Kenneth William is my real name. I was born to be Kenny. Some people just don't know their true name for a while. Link to post Share on other sites
Nylocke Posted March 25, 2016 Share Posted March 25, 2016 "are u a boy or a girl" buddy pal the answer is No The many arguments I nearly get into with people on the japanese internet over this one My parents often say "your a female act like one". Surely if I have to "act" then its not in me. Link to post Share on other sites
Tripp Posted March 25, 2016 Share Posted March 25, 2016 "are u a boy or a girl" buddy pal the answer is No The many arguments I nearly get into with people on the japanese internet over this one My parents often say "your a female act like one". Surely if I have to "act" then its not in me. Are you not comfortable answering that in relativity to your sex? Link to post Share on other sites
Ace of Amethysts Posted March 25, 2016 Share Posted March 25, 2016 "Oh, hello young man." I'm not a man, please. "Let the young man through." Not a man. Please stop. "Excuse me, young man?" No. Just no. Stop. Now. I'm begging you. "Hello? This young man wanted you." STOP IT! I'M NOT A MAN! STOP!!!!!!!! "But you don't want to be female, so you must be male." No. I am not male. "So then you want to be female." No, I do not. "You're either one or the other." No, don't f***ing tell me what I am. Only I have the right to do that. Even my mum is guilty of this... <_< The unfortunate effects of a culturally pervasive gender binary. I`m female, but I feel you. (You know what I mean... right?!) Link to post Share on other sites
ChillaKilla Posted March 25, 2016 Share Posted March 25, 2016 "Cisphobia is reeeall!" Yawn "If you make 'down with cis' jokes you're just as bad as the people murdering/assaulting trans people" Sweet jesus christ on a unicycle that's some nice false equivalency you've got there Link to post Share on other sites
girltwink666 Posted March 25, 2016 Share Posted March 25, 2016 Are you not comfortable answering that in relativity to your sex?no because im literally agender... Link to post Share on other sites
ChillaKilla Posted March 25, 2016 Share Posted March 25, 2016 Tfw people think agender people can't be dysphoric or uncomfortable with their DGAB bodies Link to post Share on other sites
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