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Unhappy with being lithromantic?


Ysaye

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Lately I have realized that I'm not very happy being lithromantic. When I first discovered that I was, it was nice to know that I wasn't the only one, but over time I've come to think that I'd much rather be aromantic. I tend to develop crushes on people that last for a really long time, which drives me crazy because there's absolutely nothing I can do about it, and as a lithromantic I know that I would never actually want a relationship. But I've often fantasized about being able to be in one. That's why I really wish I could be aromantic, because it would be so much simpler if I could avoid attraction completely. As of now, there's a guy that I like, and our friendship is slowly deteriorating because I've become awkward after realizing that I like him but cannot reconcile my feelings in any way.

Are there any other lithromantic people who feel the same way or have had similar experiences?

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BadWolfGallifrey

All of this. Being lith makes crushes so, so frustrating since I want something but I'm also aware that if we did get together or they said they liked me back, I'd lose interest and maybe hurt them. >_<

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Being romance-repulsed, I actually prefer beith lithro over "romantic, but not lith". At least I'm less at risk ending up in a mutually romantic relationship that way, which means less risk for people actually getting hurt.

Of course, being aro - which I have effectively become due to SSRI - was still more preferrable to me, by far.

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Blue Phoenix Ace

So, what's the difference between romance-repulsed and lithromantic? As a lithromantic, you can still feel romantic feelings, but they are turned off when they are reciprocated. Do romance-repulsed people still feel romantic feelings, even as they are returned? Maybe I just answered my own question.

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You can be either, neither, or both.

Romance-repulsed people hate romance and don't want it in their lives (and romance-repulsed romantics are likely to be mad at themselves for having romantic feelings); lithromantics don't want romantic feelings directed to themselves, by others, to the point of it being a turn-off.

Obviously, these two things can occur together, but don't have to.

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You can be either, neither, or both.

Romance-repulsed people hate romance and don't want it in their lives (and romance-repulsed romantics are likely to be mad at themselves for having romantic feelings); lithromantics don't want romantic feelings directed to themselves, by others, to the point of it being a turn-off.

Obviously, these two things can occur together, but don't have to.

isn't repulse abit more hmm.. fluid? so to speak than litroromantic?

I heard many people say they are repulsed by some aspect of romantic but not others. that it comes in various degrees and for variout type of situations. Like I know one person who say she is repulsed by romantic songs, while for me I usunally dont mind them but people doing love confessions or gennerally be in love with me makes me want to run a mile.

and litroromantic just lose interest but they may not be really repulsed just like.. not feeling romantic anymore.

at least how I heard.

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  • 1 year later...

i feel the exact same way except i would rather just be able to love like a normal person, i hate being lithromantic and if i could change it i would in a heartbeat. i understand what you're going through as it is a hard situation we as a community have to go through but i'm always here for a chat if you want to talk with someone that fully understands how you feel! :)

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