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the_mystique

AN ASEXUAL PLAY - CALL FOR PERSONAL TESTIMONY

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the_mystique

Hello! You can call me Mystique and I'm in the midst of working on play focusing on two asexual teenagers. I myself am ace, but I want to showcase a wider range of experiences in my play. Therefore, I'm asking you to respond to the following prompt:

What does the word "tease" mean to you? What does it make you think of? How does it make you feel?

Nothing will be directly quoted and all comments will remain entirely anonymous. I'll post updates on the project as the writing process begins in full. Thank you!

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Heart of Darkness

Two things come to mind:

1) to tease: to jest at someone in a playful manner, often flirty, sometimes just between close friends/relatives

A lot of my friendships constituted of us mutually poking fun at/teasing each other, but that was only once we were close. I think of

teasing as harmless and sort of a friendly banter, but that's where other people often think it fall into the flirty category.

2) someone who is a tease: someone who toys with people and their feelings, maybe inadvertently, maybe not, often causing people to think that they were being led on

I never really saw anyone as being a tease, but I learned that apparently I came across as a tease to a few people, likely because of the

jesting...whoops.

Good luck with the play!! :D

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CaesiousSilver

Honestly, the first thing that came to mind was a movie teaser. Like a trailer, but shorter and refraining from giving away the entire plot within two minutes. ;)

Then it was teasing as in "yo I've got your nose whatchu gon do."

Then it was teasing as in... like, a strip tease. I guess, on occasion, an asexual mind can pluck learned sexual connotations out of otherwise non-sexual things. Or at least mine can. It's as if my brain knows what I'm expected to see and offers it as an afterthought, though that might be tempered slightly by mild cynicism.

And I'll be very interested to see the progress of this project!! I'm interested in writing plays myself. ^_^

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GothicPixi

The first thing that came to my mind was someone teasing someone else, like calling them names and such, because a lot of the time when I was in Elementary school, people would say "teasing" instead of "bullying".

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FaerieFate

Oh, god. I hate this word so much, because a lot of guys use it just because they can't get the girl they want (being a female myself, I don't know if girls use it too).

But there was this one guy I liked, a lot. He liked me too, so I thought I had a real chance. We hung out a couple of times, but no date. The second time, he started getting handsy and trying to grab me. Like, no. I wanted a relationship, not sex, so I tried to leave. It took a couple of moments for him to realize what I was doing, so he's like, "Fine, if you want to leave then do it." Well, I did. Then he continued to bother me saying he was in front of my place and that I should talk about it, and I said not when he was like that (he was drunk and horny). Not a position a girl wants to be in, ya know? He kept bothering me and called me a tease, and so I told him to fuck off.

Tease, to me means someone who pretends to show interest just with the intent to tease that person and turn them down when they ask for it. And I don't have an issue with the word because I'm aware that a lot of people do that and it's not right. However, a lot of women get called it for similar situations to mine. Because they wanted a relationship, but because the guy just wanted sex they turned the guy down.

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melancholy-sweet

You're a tease.

You want me to chase you, to go further than you're implying.

You like playing with fire.

You're a tease.

You're driving me crazy; you're playing with me.

You just like control, don't you?

You want me but you're just not saying it.

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ThorHera

been accused of being a tease ... have no idea what it is, since it is similar to flirting, of which i have no idea what that is either. From what i might understand is: showing interest (of which i dont have) and not following thru. Was always mystified, as i assumed talking to others was conversing, BUT if you are opposite genders, .... if me a girl talks to a guy ... it is not a conversation, it is interest .... really? And if this conversation is "going somewhere", where both are having a great conversation ... then it means something to this guy, when it means to me: Great conversation, good time. THEN, if the guy asks you out, and you say, thanks but no thanks, then you could be accused of being a tease, leading the other on. Really?

sigh, so i avoid conversations w/guys cuz IF you talk to a guy, that means you are interested in him. Hmmm. But if you are (2 heteros) a female having the same convo w/another female - it is a conversation, as i always knew it was. So why is this conversation so different if it takes place w/the opposite sex? Then you are accused by the male (not the female) of being a tease?? Weird.

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Pi(e)

I think of teasing as in making fun of someone.

This can be friendly, like when our friends call each other by ridiculous names and no one really minds, or it can be mean

you can also tease someone about "liking" people, and when people try to do that to me it makes me really uncomfortable

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Guest Jetsun Milarepa

I've been called a tease because I don't pick up mating cues, so when I'm just being friendly it comes across as sexual interest. Then I get a big fright when I find out that I'm being misread. Why does everything have to be about the mating dance?

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UncommonNonsense

For me, the word 'tease' brings me back to elementary school. Back before people realized how damaging bullying really is, it was called 'teasing' and shrugged off by everyone except the person being 'teased'.

I was always different than the other kids. I didn't know why, or what it was that marked me out as a target for bullies, but it began in nursery school and didn't end until I left university. Later, I found out that I'd been diagnosed as autistic back in nursery school, but my parents had been in such deep denial about it that they had not told me and not informed any of the schools I attended. The abuse and exclusion I experienced was written off as 'teasing', even when it became physical beatings. My father took me aside and taught me how to physically fight back, but I was a short, scrawny little girl and could not inflict much damage back on the kids who beat on me. So for me, the word 'tease' brings up feelings of anger, of pain, of frustration, of rage over my very legitimate complaints not being listened to by anyone who could have helped me.

It wasn't until I hit the later teen years when I heard the word 'tease' used in the sense of a female who either played with or ignored the sexual attraction of boys. The whole term was 'cock tease', and to be called that meant that you were cruelly playing with a guy's 'heart' (well, his nether-regions, anyway.. I very much doubt love played into it much on the part of any guy who accused a girl of being a cock tease) and you were being a monstrous bitch. It was never levelled at me, personally.. I think this was because I was very shy, very geeky, very socially awkward, and didn't try to attract any attention. I did hear it applied to a few of the more popular girls, always by boys who were attracted to girls who were considered far out of their league.. the ones who were unattractive, unpopular, abrasive, and bitter about it. Any time I heard a guy refer to a girl by that term, I mentally wrote him off as a hopeless horrible creep who couldn't handle the fact that females can *choose* who they date and ignored him from there on out.

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saintstarship

Uuugh I just wrote a whole long thing and lost it. Sorry if this is abridged, feel free to message me or whatever if you'd like to know more about my teenage experience. ha.

So in highschool I was very rebellious, and ran with a tight pack of hooligans known for using drugs and skipping school and underage sex or whatever, as a POC queer goth kid in the deep south of the united states, you know, those were my people. But because of that, and my saucy high femme attitude & fashion (I basically wear lingerie as outerwear every day. Lots of garter belts going on at that time in my life.) people expected that I was sexually active like my other friends, and I was alternatively called a "tease" then "prude" then "lesbian" when the teenage boys around me didn't get their way.

Not being blinded by my own hormones I realized something my friends seemed to be missing- Teenage boys (excuse cissexist generalization, if I PC backtrack this story to try to make men feel better about themselves I can't do it). So anyway- Teenage boys are really dumb. And all of those things they called me, way cooler. I proudly identified as "bi" and "a tease" and "a prude" and I totally, totally screwed with their heads on purpose. Which is what I identified with as "a tease". Like, I am hot babe here to remind you that, yes, you just bought me drinks and a dinner, yes I'm wearing a slip, thigh highs and a fur coat, and yes I'm totally having a fun time but nope being nice to me does not mean I am obliged to sexually gratify you!! Surprise! I'm a multidimensional human being!! Who doesn't like sex!! ...sucker.

Now that I'm older, I live in a beautiful freakyqueeer bubble and almost never interact with anyone who wouldn't respect my identity, but I still identify as a tease, turning "fooling around" into a game I am constantly winning, even when I totally lose interest. I can be, like, clothes on hardcore makeout grinding on top on someone and then just be like "Bored now." and start doing something else, and what are you going to say? I told you I was a tease before we started. This is exactly what you signed up for. Either masochistically kind of love it, or, I don't know, GTFO.

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