What are some signs of romantic attraction?

[everclear1973]

For a long time now I've been wondering about what exactly romantic attraction/feelings are. Is wanting to have a quiet dinner with someone and hold their hand without any sexual attraction romantic? To give someone a hug that you know you do love? Or is that platonic friendship?

[Dodoa]

It could be both. For me the difference is the intensity of the wanting. I might enjoy hugging or having dinner with a close friend, but if it's platonic it's a take it or leave it situation. I'll enjoy it if it happens, but if it doesn't happen that's fine too and I can always just do that kind of thing with someone else, if I'm feeling lonely. When I feel romantic attraction for someone, that's quite a different story. In that case it HAS to be that person and it NEEDS to be as soon as possible. I guess you might say there's an element of obsession in romantic attraction that doesn't exist in platonic friendships. But that's just what I've observed about myself, it's probably different for other people.

[everclear1973]

It is only him. I think that I'm in love, but have no sexual attraction towards him, this is very confusing.

[SorryNotSorry]

This and similar questions get asked a lot on these forums.

My answer is by no means logical or intuitive: you'll know it when you feel it.

[dancingdarling]

I'm very confused by this also. I'm a highly affectionate person and need hugs often. With my favorite people I often need some sort of physical contact (hugging/snuggling, linking arms, holding hands, smushing my face against theirs by way of greeting, nuzzling, what have you) but I don't have much interest in kissing. Is this considered romantic or best friend level platonic? Whenever I have a crush or a squish I think, "I think you're awesome and I want you to think I'm awesome, I want to be near you. Let's just have a slumber party and order pizza and watch Better Off Dead and cuddle."

[Starlit Sky]

What do you think is romantic? What do you think is platonic? The answer to those questions reveal everything you need to know for this question (unless you're quoirosexual/mantic).

Picture, for a moment, your imaginary spouse. Now picture your imaginary best friend. What are some things that you would really want to do with your spouse that you wouldn't do with your best friend? If holding hands, cuddling, going out at a nice restaurant, etc., are all things you'd be happiest doing with your spouse (even if you find them pleasurable to do with your friends), then that is romantic attraction.

[Asvel]

Well, I'd fuck my spouse, I would...actually, when I get one, my spouse would be my best friend, so I guess I'd fuck my best friend too. Though not my current best friend, who is not my spouse. When I think spouse, I think commitment and the person I come home to. Silent companionship, having each other's backs, planning for a future together. All of which I'd be able to do with a best friend if they made that commitment, and in fact I have, except that the future we've agreed on is that we'll always be some kind of friends even if not best friends.

Basically, I'm aromantic. Sorry.

[Pi(e)]

This and similar questions get asked a lot on these forums.

My answer is by no means logical or intuitive: you'll know it when you feel it.

But I think I am romantically attracted to my best friend (who I did technically agree to date), and I didn't just know it. It took me a really long time to finally conclude that I probably am romantically attracted to them.

[Pi(e)]

What do you think is romantic? What do you think is platonic? The answer to those questions reveal everything you need to know for this question (unless you're quoirosexual/mantic).

Picture, for a moment, your imaginary spouse. Now picture your imaginary best friend. What are some things that you would really want to do with your spouse that you wouldn't do with your best friend? If holding hands, cuddling, going out at a nice restaurant, etc., are all things you'd be happiest doing with your spouse (even if you find them pleasurable to do with your friends), then that is romantic attraction.

I have always imagined marrying my best friend. I imagine my spouse as a best friend, not a romantic interest, so that would hardly clue me in on the difference between attractions.

[dragon_cake]

I thought the closest feelings to romantic attraction is having a warm persisting feeling in your chest and having weird dreams (like being married and stuff...At least in my case?)

That was the only time I was convinced that I was in love with my friend whether I like it or not since I have never dreamt of getting married.

Although my ideal relationship is to be with someone who will help with chores and knows how to do practical things like clean, do laundry, cook, drive, or even has a part time job if not a full one with a positive attitude or a nice, caring personality. My more romantic side would just be us watching our favorite shows, sharing things on the internet, playing videogames, studying different languages together, and dorking out on personality tests, music in other languages than English, and astrology. It would be a relationship where we would pitch in to help each other, go places together as much as we can, and happily do activities that doesn't involve nor revolve only around sex.

[TripleOG]

Romantic attraction to me is looking at some girl and being like I wish she was my girl friend and fantasizing about holding hands, cuddling, eating together, kissing but no tongue play, walking through a park or downtown type area with her, and just laughing together. It sucks when i fall for girls because I think Im gonna be confident and try to spit some game, but then I realize, eventually im gonna have to have sex with her or else she's going to dump me, and that usually kills my mood.

[banana monkey]

What do you think is romantic? What do you think is platonic? The answer to those questions reveal everything you need to know for this question (unless you're quoirosexual/mantic).

Picture, for a moment, your imaginary spouse. Now picture your imaginary best friend. What are some things that you would really want to do with your spouse that you wouldn't do with your best friend? If holding hands, cuddling, going out at a nice restaurant, etc., are all things you'd be happiest doing with your spouse (even if you find them pleasurable to do with your friends), then that is romantic attraction.

Wish to point out that spouses dont necessarily need to be romantic so it may not help the OP to do this. The spouse could be in a committed QP marriage and so the marriage is not romantic.

[Yinlotus93]

Romantic attraction can happen in a few different ways depending on the person. It can be simple as wanting to spend time with the person, having your heart beat a little quicker when you're near them, wanting to hold their hand, maybe wanting to kiss them or hug them and getting warm fuzzies inside or butterflies when you imagine doing that. The difference is in the way it feels compared to other people you care a lot about like friends or family. If you compare what you go through with both the individual and these kinds of people, you can determine if there are real differences or not.

When I find myself having romantic feelings, it usually shows in the way it feels when i say that persons name, when I see them smile or hear their voice. When I think about the things about them I like, I'll get a little giddy, and sometimes stare at them a little too long or flutter my lashes without meaning to. I also sometimes start humming or singing to myself out of the blue. That's how I know something nonplatonic is going down with me.