Erich Posted February 3, 2016 Share Posted February 3, 2016 I've seen a lot of asexuals that that are ether aromatic or some other form of slightly romantic. I love romantic movies, gestures, and most of all doin romantic things. But with out the hidden motives and intent for sex. Anyone else a hopeless romantic or a lest not bothered by being romanced? I feel like the worlds biggest contradiction even now I found AVEN and relize I'm not alone I still feel alone cause I feel overly romantic but Im still asexual. Link to post Share on other sites
Light02 Posted February 3, 2016 Share Posted February 3, 2016 I'm also veeery romantic! People even make fun of me for it, haha! It's kind of sad that I'm also asexual though, that's going to make it A LOT harder to find a boyfriend. I just want to have someone to cuddle with, hold hands and watch movies together. Link to post Share on other sites
Blakrana Posted February 3, 2016 Share Posted February 3, 2016 Asexuality doesn't intrinsically mean nor imply Aromantic, nor does Asexuality inherently contain the term Aromantic. Two different things that may, or may not be, mutually exclusive; someone could be a Sexual Aromantic, after all. Arguably it's little more than assumption by people that a lack of Sexual attraction can mean a lack of Romantic attraction and, to be fair, it's understandable people think that way; they overlap more like than not for most people, hence the general nature of the euphemistic language being what it is (Making love etc) but at the end of the day...they don't necessarily have to. One way or the other, there's no contradiction to being both Asexual and Romantic and it's no more or less valid than being Asexual and Aromantic, and vice versa. Link to post Share on other sites
gaillimh Posted February 3, 2016 Share Posted February 3, 2016 I guess the problem is the inherent assumption of society that romance/love = sex. Seeing that just about 1% of the population is ace, the distribution around the world is not even (probably due to society values), and even if you meet other aces it doesn't have to click it must seem an awful lot like finding a partner is an impossible task. The asexual dating sites post ? Or some flirting in real life if you are not too shy for that ? First dates are often the most romantic ones anyway ? PS: I feel you there. I'm not overly romantic but grew up with Jane Austen. Screws up your worldview big time ! Link to post Share on other sites
Alexintheflesh Posted February 3, 2016 Share Posted February 3, 2016 hopeless (homo)romantic right here! lol Link to post Share on other sites
Alvis Posted February 3, 2016 Share Posted February 3, 2016 I am romantic as well! I may flirt (or just talk in manner that people assume is flirting) or do nice gestures, but it's kinda tricky, because most of the time people think that I have sexual interest to them too. :\ and I don't even think about it. : ( Link to post Share on other sites
Ace_Kat Posted February 3, 2016 Share Posted February 3, 2016 It is ok to be asexual and romantic. Just be yourself and someone might come by and you will get into an romantic relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
AlwaysADreamer Posted February 3, 2016 Share Posted February 3, 2016 I am also a hopeless romantic. However, I get very very uncomfortable when someone I'm not completely comfortable with tries to be romantic with me. I love RomComs, but I feel it's unnecessary to have the sexual aspect in them (for me, at least). Link to post Share on other sites
satoshi95 Posted February 3, 2016 Share Posted February 3, 2016 There are so many of us out there, you're not on your own! As someone said above, I think the problem is that romance and sex are so closely intertwined in society, but many of us know that you can have romance without sexual attraction, and vice versa. You can't expect a lot of allosexuals to understand if they struggle to differentiate between romantic and sexual attraction, but I understand you, many of the posters above me understand you and there are so many more of us out there. Don't lose hope, just stay true to yourself, make as many friends on here as possible and who knows what one of those friendships might turn into? A lot of us are in the same boat here and I think we'll all get there someday, just try not to let it get you down because the important thing is you belong here, in this community :) Link to post Share on other sites
Bbauthor2 Posted February 3, 2016 Share Posted February 3, 2016 I love everything to do with romance. I am definetly a romantic person- I want that relationship where the other person I. The relationship is your best friend, your other half to some degree. I want the whole "so in love they are oblivious to other people" I want the whole package- the laughter, the discussions, even the arguments. The kissing in the rain and the slow dancing with that perfect partner. The balancing act between the two, and the strong support system where if one needs help the other immediately helps them. Literally every romantic book ending you can imagine, I adore and I want. I could even handle the romantic acts like kissing and cuddling. I just really am not into the sex part. Which sucks... Becuase everyone else I've met is the other way around (sex, then romance) Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted February 3, 2016 Share Posted February 3, 2016 Moved thread from Asexual Q&A to Romantic and Aromantic Orientations. Nai Asexual Q&A Co-Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
Beyourownspotlight Posted February 3, 2016 Share Posted February 3, 2016 Erm, I'm not someone who needs grand gestures of romance, or of affection at all really. Like getting flowers and stuff, and getting taken out for meals, or to the movies. All that sorta stuff, doesn't really bother me. I'd rather spend time with someone, tbh spending the day/night relaxing watching movies/crap telly, and ordering in a wee take away is more than amazing to me. It's all about quality time. Don't get me wrong, going out sometimes is nice too. Movies. Concerts. Walks. For coffee. I'm not huge on pda, but I think that's more I don't like shoving stuff down other peoples throats, maybe? I'm also not really into valentines day, like doing the whole card, gift, going out thing. But I do like being friends with my partner, that's awesome. Being with someone you are able to be silly with, and have a laugh with is great. But only if they still like you when you're serious, and grumpy, and upset, and tired, and ill, and everything else. I think being friends is a huge part of that. You've got to be able to appreciate each other for who you both are, always, not just when you're in good moods or whatever. I'm also not into the idea of marriage? But, in saying all that I still love rom-coms, and all the sappy movies and junk. I like the idea of other people enjoying 'romance' in whatever way they see fit, but I like my way of expressing, and experiencing romance too. Link to post Share on other sites
Erich Posted February 3, 2016 Author Share Posted February 3, 2016 Erm, I'm not someone who needs grand gestures of romance, or of affection at all really. Like getting flowers and stuff, and getting taken out for meals, or to the movies. All that sorta stuff, doesn't really bother me. I'd rather spend time with someone, tbh spending the day/night relaxing watching movies/crap telly, and ordering in a wee take away is more than amazing to me. It's all about quality time. Don't get me wrong, going out sometimes is nice too. Movies. Concerts. Walks. For coffee. I'm not huge on pda, but I think that's more I don't like shoving stuff down other peoples throats, maybe? I'm also not really into valentines day, like doing the whole card, gift, going out thing. But I do like being friends with my partner, that's awesome. Being with someone you are able to be silly with, and have a laugh with is great. But only if they still like you when you're serious, and grumpy, and upset, and tired, and ill, and everything else. I think being friends is a huge part of that. You've got to be able to appreciate each other for who you both are, always, not just when you're in good moods or whatever. I'm also not into the idea of marriage? But, in saying all that I still love rom-coms, and all the sappy movies and junk. I like the idea of other people enjoying 'romance' in whatever way they see fit, but I like my way of expressing, and experiencing romance too. I hate pda or people looking at me in general Thanks for everyone's opiniono and the love and support Link to post Share on other sites
magazine-smiles Posted February 4, 2016 Share Posted February 4, 2016 Yeah, here's my thing...(and it has taken me a long time to realize this) I absolutely love the idea of romance and everything mushy that goes along with it... for other people. I can fangirl over others relationships and romantic interactions, but I don't want any of that for myself. Link to post Share on other sites
Charlotte_uk Posted February 4, 2016 Share Posted February 4, 2016 I was when I was younger. But I think dating very unromantic people forced me to be less romantic as I've grown up. I've had a few men complain if I was too affectionate or tried to do romantic things, so now I don't. These days I like the *idea* of romance, like Magazine pointed out, but I associate that type of behaviour with other people. Link to post Share on other sites
Erich Posted February 5, 2016 Author Share Posted February 5, 2016 I was when I was younger. But I think dating very unromantic people forced me to be less romantic as I've grown up. I've had a few men complain if I was too affectionate or tried to do romantic things, so now I don't. These days I like the *idea* of romance, like Magazine pointed out, but I associate that type of behaviour with other people. I hate how people change who we are. That sucks how can you be too affectionate. Those guys are jerks Link to post Share on other sites
JaySexual Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 I also consider myself to be romantic. I like the thought of having someone to just be close with or cuddle with, and just in general 'love', and I daydream about stuff like that all the time. .. .but when it comes down to it, that's all they'll ever be is thoughts/daydream (would that make me a 'daydream romantic'?? LOL) Link to post Share on other sites
m4rble Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 I'm also veeery romantic! People even make fun of me for it, haha! It's kind of sad that I'm also asexual though, that's going to make it A LOT harder to find a boyfriend. I just want to have someone to cuddle with, hold hands and watch movies together. I know, I sometimes feel very romantic myself, but the fact that I feel repulsed about open mouthed kissing and fear unwanted sexual pressures makes it hard. On the other hand, I sometimes think I'm in some ways grey romantic because I don't mind being single most of the time and I don't feel very many physical reactions to my crushes. I think in some ways there is no clear delineation between platonic and romantic relationships. I'm not sure how others here feel about this. Link to post Share on other sites
guabonito Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 I'm a super romantic person. I consider myself hyperromantic, actually, because I actually believe in true and all the romantic things that people around me are increasingly skeptical of. I hate being single and desperately want a partner, but the way that most people mix romance with sex is confusing and a big downer (I'm sex-repulsed). Sex has actually always been the one thing that I couldn't get into in romantic media. I understood that it was something some people liked to do with someone they loved (I didn't understand casual sex until I was like 25), but there wasn't anything inherently romantic about it for me. Like the way some people find chocolates romantic while other people are like "meh". Link to post Share on other sites
Starlit Sky Posted February 6, 2016 Share Posted February 6, 2016 I very much appreciate romantic gestures (even ones that are apparently "creepy" . . . why are love poems creepy? I don't necessarily care that much for poetry, but I wouldn't say it's creepy)! I'm a complete romantic at heart. It's a shame that it takes so much for me to see someone in that way, but oh well! Link to post Share on other sites
m4rble Posted February 6, 2016 Share Posted February 6, 2016 I very much appreciate romantic gestures (even ones that are apparently "creepy" . . . why are love poems creepy? I don't necessarily care that much for poetry, but I wouldn't say it's creepy)! I'm a complete romantic at heart. It's a shame that it takes so much for me to see someone in that way, but oh well! I dated a guy who was sending me text messages talking about our future marriage within two days of starting to date him. It was super weird. I can definitely understand why a love poem might be creepy. Link to post Share on other sites
Starlit Sky Posted February 6, 2016 Share Posted February 6, 2016 I very much appreciate romantic gestures (even ones that are apparently "creepy" . . . why are love poems creepy? I don't necessarily care that much for poetry, but I wouldn't say it's creepy)! I'm a complete romantic at heart. It's a shame that it takes so much for me to see someone in that way, but oh well! I dated a guy who was sending me text messages talking about our future marriage within two days of starting to date him. It was super weird. I can definitely understand why a love poem might be creepy. Well sure, if a love poem talking about marriage and everything else was written before anything was even official, or had just stated. That dude was weird! o.O I guess in my head, there's a difference between writing a love poem and being creepy. I don't understand why love poems are automatically synonymous with a too-early love confession thingamajig, that's all. :) Link to post Share on other sites
Fizzyfroglegs Posted February 10, 2016 Share Posted February 10, 2016 I'm a huge romantic. I'm demisexual, so I understand wanting sex with someone you love, but I could live without it. I couldn't live without the cuddling and hand holding and kissing though. Watching movies together, going to dinner, waking up to flowers and a stuffed animal for absolutely no reason other than that he loves me... Yeah, the romance is what I live for. Link to post Share on other sites
Nomiverse Posted February 12, 2016 Share Posted February 12, 2016 I'm ace and a hopeless heteroromantic! The strange thing is that I get romantic fantasies for ONLY some celebrities like singers or boybands! Not fictional characters and random guys. Idk why but I'M LITERALLY A HOPELESS FANGIRL!!! Link to post Share on other sites
God of the Forest Posted February 17, 2016 Share Posted February 17, 2016 I'm Homoromantic and I love intimacy and all the cuddling that comes with it, I even like sweet little kisses...just not someones tongue down my throat. I love hand holding and laying against someone or walking around arm in arm..pretty much anything goes just not sex or heavy making out...bleh. Link to post Share on other sites
toprakkokusu Posted February 17, 2016 Share Posted February 17, 2016 I am also a hopeless romantic. Link to post Share on other sites
PhoenixKiran Posted February 17, 2016 Share Posted February 17, 2016 Hi! Another romantic ace here! And right at this moment I am hopelessly in love with someone... I have always been the hopelss romantic kind! As many have said here above, romance or love and sexual orientation are not to be seen as one and the same...but most people around us in the society do just that! But hey! We Aces here understand you totally! So chill, and have some cake :) Link to post Share on other sites
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