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Advices for a sexual in love?


doomling

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Hello. I am pansexual female, and recently i realized i am in love with a friend of mine. It's much more serious than just a crush, and i've been thinking if i should tell her. The thing is she claims to be asexual, and maybe aromantic. She never was in a relationship and i know her for a very long time. She seems to have strong aversion to any kind of romantic realtionships because her family always told her she is gonna get married and have lots of children, but she just needs to find "the one". I know she for sure isn't homophobic, but i'm not sure what is her orientation, since she seems to avoid the topic. I kinda want to confess my feelings, but as far as i know her she will get scared that i'm trying to push my feelings onto her, and probably end up pretending i never did it anyway, since that's what she does everytime someone confesses to her. Can you give me some advice what should i avoid, and what should i say to avoid scaring her away?

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closetPonyfan

In sorry that sounds like a pretty difficult situation. I guess of you aren't sure, and she says she is Aro-Ace you should first ask yourself if you will be happy in that kind of relationship. Consider, best case scenario, you tell her how you feel and she doesn't recoil. Maybe she agrees to go see a movie or something as your romantic partner. Given that she's ace you have to be ready to accept that sex may never come up, and that when/if it does, she may not be as comfortable or "into it" as you would normally expect. If, these factors considered, you think you still want to be with her in a more romantic way than you already are, then talk the only ting to do it talk to her. Maybe approach it as; "I really like you as a friend and I don't want to lose that, but I'm starting to realize I want to see if we can develop lope this into anything more than that?" which, depending on how she take it, puts the relationship in a weird "so what is this exactly?" state. Which isn't a bad thing, just get closer and see where it leads.

But also keep in mind it might scare her, so be reassuring that you appreciate her as a friend and are OK with just that if she wants. Which, she may prefer as it might all cone off as awkward for her at first.

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