Guest Posted January 7, 2016 Share Posted January 7, 2016 Just curious on some opinions from sexuals on this. For me, kissing during sex gives me something to focus on. I love kissing and it can get me "passionate" but I actually never want to go beyond that. But, if the kissing continues during sex, I at least have something I like to keep me from being totally bored. And... TMI if a partner wants to make me make any noise whatsoever, they should probably kiss my neck ... but it doesn't seem to be horribly common to do that during ? Been reading forums and stuff and a lot seem to think it interferes with the sex part. My first boyfriend was really into kissing during. But, sex with him was always... sweet, slow, romantic. Even when it was odd positions, like the "alley" position you see in movies girls legs around guy, guy holding her up largely, no surface underneath her, no clue what the name of it is it was lots of kissing, slow and caressing. More, made-for-tv-movie type sex. My second, well, he was a virgin and just did whatever I suggested. Which, you can imagine was pretty weird. I don't actually like anything, he doesn't know what he likes... awkward. Third was more into the idea of putting a ball gag in my mouth than kissing me. Fourth ... kissing a tiny bit before hand OK, but pretty much only skin contact should be genital area. From behind, him sitting up me laying down, that sorta thing. So, erm, is it as common as other forums seem to be saying that the sweet, romantic, kissing/caressing is not done ? Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted January 7, 2016 Share Posted January 7, 2016 I have a kissing... thing. It's not a fetish but kissing is absolutely a requirement for me to enjoy sex. I had no idea how rare that really is... my partner hates kissing during sex and that definitely contributed to lack of passion. So, I dunno how common or uncommon it is, but I've heard from people who have slept with me that it's weird that I want to kiss all thru the sexytimes. Link to post Share on other sites
Tarfeather Posted January 7, 2016 Share Posted January 7, 2016 I'm a virgin so I haven't the faintest clue. I would imagine kissing would be part of the whole affair, but more likely before/inbetween/after than during. PS: Do you mean mouth-to-mouth kissing or touching the other's skin with your mouth? The former can be hard to impossible depending on how you have sex. PPS: Fourth ... kissing a tiny bit before hand OK, but pretty much only skin contact should be genital area. From behind, him sitting up me laying down, that sorta thing. I can say at least so much that I'd prefer to do a lot of touching skin with my mouth during sex. Just not necessarily mouth-to-mouth.. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted January 7, 2016 Share Posted January 7, 2016 I'm a virgin so I haven't the faintest clue. I would imagine kissing would be part of the whole affair, but more likely before/inbetween/after than during. PS: Do you mean mouth-to-mouth kissing or touching the other's skin with your mouth? The former can be hard to impossible depending on how you have sex. Depends. I like my neck, or maybe shoulders kissed... but I mostly want mouth-to-mouth kissing to continue throughout. That's the only fun part to sex, so without it, sex is just completely mechanical and 100% boring. My first boyfriend I never had to ask, he just always kissed me the whole time, touched my face, my waist, etc.. I managed to get the others to do it for me occasionally, which, my reaction to sex is notably different when there is vs without ( cause, I am not sitting there going "Hmm. What chores do I need to get done later?" in my head) but ... more like a once a year or something thing. Which, leaves me even less interested in sex than normal. Which is pretty bad, cause I still would rather just cuddle and kiss and leave my clothes on anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
AshenPhoenix Posted January 7, 2016 Share Posted January 7, 2016 I mean, in my experience (both personal and hearing from friends). it's not exactly... uncommon? I haven't heard about it enough, but maybe thats because it's not usually what people talk about. Personally I've always been heavy on kissing during anything sexual with my partner because it usually makes the experience much better. So I definitely wouldn't say it's uncommon, every partner I've talked to so far has liked kissing during sexual acts Link to post Share on other sites
Squirrel Combat Posted January 7, 2016 Share Posted January 7, 2016 I guess smooching while screwing is perfectly normal and common. I'm pretty sure sex-folks do it all the time. Link to post Share on other sites
arthurh Posted January 7, 2016 Share Posted January 7, 2016 I love kissing during intimacy. I would be concerned if my partner doesn't want to kiss me during it. Link to post Share on other sites
Telecaster68 Posted January 7, 2016 Share Posted January 7, 2016 For me, not constantly (sometimes it's just physically impossible) but a lot. And biting. And most things oral. It's delicious and incredibly intimate, an expression of that feeling of wanting to devour and be devoured, another way of being inside your lover. And a huge, huge turn on. I asked a girlfriend if my enthusiasm for kissing was unusual in a bloke as it feels like more than gets shown in porn or even TV sex, but she said nope, most men really love it apparently. But that might've been affected by her being fantastic at kissing. She was amazing at it. *goes for cold shower* (then again, there are the wilder aggressive sessions when it's less important). Link to post Share on other sites
Tarfeather Posted January 7, 2016 Share Posted January 7, 2016 All porn taught me was what real sex doesn't look like. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted January 7, 2016 Share Posted January 7, 2016 All porn taught me was what real sex doesn't look like. Only porn I have actually seen was an attempt to figure out what my ex found so fascinating about it. But, honestly even that stuff was more romantic than what some of my sexual partners want when it comes to sex. :lol: But, yes, I have heard most the pro stuff is quite fake. So, seems to be a varied... might be common, might not. But, not horribly too uncommon. My spouse and I are currently in the "well, can't go anywhere anyway, so lets see if there is anything that can be done" phase. My car is in the shop currently. So, he wants me to be more into sex than I am, since I am quite obviously bored/waiting for it to be over. I was thinking through to the times in my life I didn't mind sex quite as much. And really, only if it's really sensual and sweet. Whereas, he just wants me to touch myself (which I am really not comfortable with) while he has a go at my body, with minimal skin contact at all... thighs and genitals touching, occasionally he touches my boobs. He keeps his two shirts on and I can touch, like, his shoulders... through his shirt Which got me wondering how uncommon my first boyfriend was in terms of sex. I mean, my spouse has done the kissing thing a few times, but mostly I end up feeling like he wants a porn star in his bed. Legs split way too far apart, up around his head, or curled up in a little ball with my knees into my face... any position of style that requires practically no touching and usually my legs being really sore later from the unnatural position I really don't get how any of this is supposed to feel intimate, like at all. And I would just think he's trying to pretend I am someone else, or treat me like a casual throw away, but... he's always preferred sex to be really, well, like that. Anyway, thanks for the replies :D I was mainly just curious if I was being the weird non-sexual person wanting to throw something into sex that didn't belong, or if it was something people actually liked. Link to post Share on other sites
Tarfeather Posted January 7, 2016 Share Posted January 7, 2016 I can tell you as much that your current spouse is a lot more uncommon than your first boyfriend.. And, I dunno, but don't most people adapt a little to what their partner likes? Finding the spots on someone that will cause a reaction seems to be the most exciting part of sex to me (even though I've hardly done it xD). Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted January 7, 2016 Share Posted January 7, 2016 I can tell you as much that your current spouse is a lot more uncommon than your first boyfriend.. And, I dunno, but don't most people adapt a little to what their partner likes? Finding the spots on someone that will cause a reaction seems to be the most exciting part of sex to me (even though I've hardly done it xD). Mmm, I think so? Though, he only is willing to listen to my suggestions on what I like if they have to do with touching my boobs or my vagina. If I were to say "Touch there, like that, faster, slower, harder, softer" he'd listen (I don't, as the sex part itself is not what I like at all and I find orgasms unpleasant). If I say, I prefer kissing during sex. Or, I like playing with your chest hair. Or, I like the feeling of skin against skin, rather than just feeling your shirt rubbing against my bare skin. Well, then, nope. Link to post Share on other sites
Tarfeather Posted January 7, 2016 Share Posted January 7, 2016 I can tell you as much that your current spouse is a lot more uncommon than your first boyfriend.. And, I dunno, but don't most people adapt a little to what their partner likes? Finding the spots on someone that will cause a reaction seems to be the most exciting part of sex to me (even though I've hardly done it xD). Mmm, I think so? Though, he only is willing to listen to my suggestions on what I like if they have to do with touching my boobs or my vagina. If I were to say "Touch there, like that, faster, slower, harder, softer" he'd listen (I don't, as the sex part itself is not what I like at all and I find orgasms unpleasant). If I say, I prefer kissing during sex. Or, I like playing with your chest hair. Or, I like the feeling of skin against skin, rather than just feeling your shirt rubbing against my bare skin. Well, then, nope. Didn't you once say your spouse was aromantic? It sounds like it's something like that. Doing things for my partner actually makes me feel good. And by this I don't just mean physical intimacy, I mean in general (like cooking for her, for instance). So I'd definitely want to do those kinds of things for her if she enjoyed it, even if I myself had no inclination to do so. Why would you refuse to do something for your partner that they clearly enjoy and it doesn't cost you much? I don't understand it myself, but I am the kind of person who cares strongly about their partner. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted January 7, 2016 Share Posted January 7, 2016 No, my spouse is not aromantic. He says he loves people romantically and strongly. Though, he's only had one other long-term relationship and most of his other interests were "girl of the week". So, not a lot of romantic history for a person that is nearing 50. The person I think may be aromantic is my brother. He exited his first romantic relationship and decided to never enter one again. He dates for sex and companionship, with a clear rule of no attachment or commitment and if they try for more, he immediately breaks up with them cause they crossed the line. Link to post Share on other sites
Capslock Cadet Posted January 8, 2016 Share Posted January 8, 2016 Most sexuals I know like kissing during sex, but I also think it's a super personal thing. I'm much like you, I like it cause it gives me something to do. But for my partner it varies; some days they're super into kissing, and other days not so much. Link to post Share on other sites
Frigid Pink Posted January 8, 2016 Share Posted January 8, 2016 I like kisses (almost anywhere except genitals) and physical touch (almost anywhere) with a romantic partner, both during sexual activity and outside of it. I don't think it's that uncommon. I've only had two sexual partners, however, both (like me) enjoy(ed) kisses and physical touch during sexual activity and outside of it. Link to post Share on other sites
Visenya Posted January 8, 2016 Share Posted January 8, 2016 From what I have heard/read, most sexuals like kissing during sex. In fact, there's a hypersexual feminist who used to write a blog about her sexual experiences, and she would complain A LOT about some men who wouldn't kiss or touch her much during sex. She wouldn't even call it sex, because for her, those guys were just "masturbating with her body" (her words, not mine). That's how badly she felt about those experiences. She would blame it on porn, being a radical feminist and all that, but I don't think it was the cause, tbh. Plenty of people watch pornography, but the majority of them still enjoy kissing and touching during sex. Link to post Share on other sites
closetPonyfan Posted January 8, 2016 Share Posted January 8, 2016 TMI (sorry I don't know how to do /spoiler) I do enjoy kissing during sex, but I think for me (and sounds like maybe for telecaster too) it's more of an enjoyment if oral stimulation than the idea of a kiss. Which is a bit inconvenient because my wife is completely repulsed by the thought of any kind of oral stimulation. And I don't just mean oral sex, but she won't do tongue at all, either mouth to mouth, or even on her shoulder. I like to be bitten or scratched (not too rough though) and really liked tongue kissing. But it sickens her so it's a no go. Link to post Share on other sites
Nidwin Posted January 8, 2016 Share Posted January 8, 2016 Isn't it the reason why prostitutes never kiss, because that's reserved for their partner and real sexual intimacy? Link to post Share on other sites
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