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The Asexual-Sexual Q&A Thread

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Apostle
On 7/31/2019 at 12:19 AM, CatsandDogs said:

 

 

 

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CatsandDogs

Thank you so much @Apostle. You are quite right...love gets in the way. I send my best wishes to you and thank you again for your response. 

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Kain gray

Is there anything a "sexual" would know that a asexual would not know that I should know when trying to fit in with other "sexual" human beings?

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Quiet & Unsure

I am so glad my ex wife was such a highly sexual woman.  If she was able to understand how I worked I might still be married and miserable.  All worked out for the best in the end :) 

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TimeDelay
On 8/2/2019 at 11:37 PM, Kain gray said:

Is there anything a "sexual" would know that a asexual would not know that I should know when trying to fit in with other "sexual" human beings?

In what context?

I would caution against trying to fit in with any 'group' if doing so requires you to go against your own nature. Be honest about yourself and celebrate difference; decent people will appreciate you for that. 

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uhtred
On 8/2/2019 at 3:37 PM, Kain gray said:

Is there anything a "sexual" would know that a asexual would not know that I should know when trying to fit in with other "sexual" human beings?

They would know what sexual attraction / arousal feels like, and that might make them more understanding of how to avoid giving the wrong signals in social situations. 

 

 

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Kimchi Peanut
On 8/2/2019 at 6:37 PM, Kain gray said:

Is there anything a "sexual" would know that a asexual would not know that I should know when trying to fit in with other "sexual" human beings?

Unless you plan on having sex with someone? Not really relevant.

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alibali
12 hours ago, disGraceful said:

Unless you plan on having sex with someone? Not really relevant.

It's an interesting question though. The fact that i now know i am asexual and assume that most people are having sex and actively enjoying it the more i wonder about people. All the people i work with for example.

 

Understanding innuendo is probably something that asexuals find challenging especially if they have never had sex.

 

I could take sex or leave it when i was young and occasionally hormones would kick in given enough attention. It makes it easier to understand innuendo.

 

I don't know if that is what the question was about.

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Kimchi Peanut
1 hour ago, alibali said:

It's an interesting question though. The fact that i now know i am asexual and assume that most people are having sex and actively enjoying it the more i wonder about people. All the people i work with for example.

 

Understanding innuendo is probably something that asexuals find challenging especially if they have never had sex.

 

I could take sex or leave it when i was young and occasionally hormones would kick in given enough attention. It makes it easier to understand innuendo.

 

I don't know if that is what the question was about.

Not all sexuals pick up on innuendos either.

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Chihiro
1 hour ago, alibali said:

Understanding innuendo is probably something that asexuals find challenging especially if they have never had sex.

I am asexual, never been with anyone romantically/sexually. And I can understand innuendos and am good at making them myself. 

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alibali

I'm just theorising. Doesn't mean I am right.

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Apostle

x

 

 

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xstatic ☆゚°˖* ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

I disagree.  If the relationship is sensual yet not sexual you can still fulfill mind body and soul.  Think of it like post sex cuddling, but without having the sex.  Skin to skin contact is still achieved.  Physical intimacy is still achieved.  There's just no actual penetration.

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uhtred
6 minutes ago, xstatic ☆゚°˖* ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ said:

I disagree.  If the relationship is sensual yet not sexual you can still fulfill mind body and soul.  Think of it like post sex cuddling, but without having the sex.  Skin to skin contact is still achieved.  Physical intimacy is still achieved.  There's just no actual penetration.

This may get to the fuzzy way that people use the word "sex". For some it means penetration, for others just arousal.  Without arousal though I think cuddling is different than cuddling with arousal. 

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xstatic ☆゚°˖* ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

I'm sure that depends on a person to person level.  There is a difference between cuddling with arousal and cuddling without arousal.  There's also a difference between cuddling clothed and cuddling naked.  There's also a difference between intimate cuddles and friend cuddles.  Let's call it the cuddle spectrum.  😂

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anisotrophic

I'm with @xstatic ☆゚°˖* ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ on this. :) Of note: IIRC we've both had decent amounts of sex with other people. That might mean we're more skeptical/realistic about what sex brings – and does not bring – to a relationship.

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Serran

Honestly, I dont care that much about the sex part. If it went away, fine. I would more miss the cuddling after sex, or the spending 12 hours walking around naked cause we are just comfortable with each other. That is where the intimacy comes in for me. Skin to skin contact and just comfort with the other person. And those can still be had without sex. Just, often aces get scared of intimacy due to the sexual nature of people... so that goes away with the sex to not frustrate / tease. If my partner ever wants to go non-sexual, I will still need intimate. 

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xstatic ☆゚°˖* ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ
2 hours ago, anisotrophic said:

IIRC we've both had decent amounts of sex with other people. That might mean we're more skeptical/realistic about what sex brings – and does not bring – to a relationship.

Nailed it!

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Pan Ficto. (on hiatus?)
4 hours ago, xstatic ☆゚°˖* ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ said:
Quote

 decent amounts of sex 

Nailed it!

Pun intended? :P 

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xstatic ☆゚°˖* ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ
23 minutes ago, Pan Ficto. (on hiatus?) said:

Pun intended? :P 

I mean... 🤷🙃😂

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anisotrophic

Haha I had the same thought, "at least I'm nailing something..." 🔨👍

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Apostle
On 8/6/2019 at 2:48 PM, xstatic ☆゚°˖* ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ said:

 

x

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Apostle
On 8/6/2019 at 2:55 PM, uhtred said:

 

 

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Apostle
On 8/6/2019 at 5:30 PM, Serran said:

 

 

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xstatic ☆゚°˖* ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ
8 minutes ago, Apostle said:

And that is part of the 3rd dimension.

Eh.  Is it though?  Penetration is a literal dead zone for me.  Like, I like penatritive sex and all, but I don't orgasm from it or feel anything at all actually.  So, eh.  Oral stim gets me there, and external stim gets me there, but penatritive sex does not.

 

Again, the big deal about sex for me is being wanted.  Being desired.  That's what gets my rocks off.  I could probably go the rest of my life without penatritive sex if all of that was fulfilled in other ways.  

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CBC
21 hours ago, xstatic ☆゚°˖* ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ said:

If the relationship is sensual yet not sexual you can still fulfill mind body and soul. 

Personally... not really -- or rather, not fully. Which isn't to say that instances of physical intimacy that aren't sexual aren't fulfilling, because they certainly are. Dear god, I really love hugs, haha. And just lying together, all... close. And I would certainly never leave a partner who ended up incapable of sex (illness, disability, whatever), but if we just weren't having any sex, ever, for some other reason that appeared to not be fixable, I would not be entirely fulfilled. I'd be sad. Not because I can't live without getting off, obviously masturbation exists, but I guess the sexual connection component of a relationship is just really important to me. Romantic love does not feel completely... realised... without it. There just isn't a substitute for me.

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Serran
59 minutes ago, Apostle said:

And that is part of the 3rd dimension.

O.o penetration specifically? 

 

46 minutes ago, xstatic ☆゚°˖* ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ said:

Eh.  Is it though?  Penetration is a literal dead zone for me.  Like, I like penatritive sex and all, but I don't orgasm from it or feel anything at all actually.  So, eh.  Oral stim gets me there, and external stim gets me there, but penatritive sex does not.

 

Again, the big deal about sex for me is being wanted.  Being desired.  That's what gets my rocks off.  I could probably go the rest of my life without penatritive sex if all of that was fulfilled in other ways.  

Haha I have never had penetrative sex with my spouse, so totally agree. If that was required I would probably be less inclined to have sex, tbh. So... for me it is totally not part of anything. 

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Apostle
On 8/7/2019 at 12:23 PM, xstatic ☆゚°˖* ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ said:

 

x

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Apostle
On 8/7/2019 at 12:37 PM, CBC said:

 

 

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Apostle
On 8/7/2019 at 1:12 PM, Serran said:

 

x

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