ChainSmokingBob Posted December 8, 2015 Share Posted December 8, 2015 I personally develop feelings for and interest in older women -- I am young with an older perspective and I find that older people are easier to relate to and better to communicate with. Most people my age --23-- I have little in common with. I sincerely wish you the best of luck finding what you're looking for. Link to post Share on other sites
newgirl Posted December 8, 2015 Share Posted December 8, 2015 I live in California,and i'm having a heard time getting over 40 asexual to do ANYTHING off line. Link to post Share on other sites
BobRossRules Posted December 8, 2015 Author Share Posted December 8, 2015 ...But it would be nice to have one or two local friends who are also into some of the same things (playing board games, going to museums, plays, movies, classical concerts, nature hikes, etc., even road trips or other travel, or hanging out at home to watch videos/tv, have a meal, just talk. And, as a romantic, I would also like to have someone for hugging, cuddling and other aspects of romantic companionship, too, at least once in a while.). At this point in my life, though, I don't want to put much effort into building such friendships locally, because I plane to retire within 3 years and move away. Yes, I am a hopeful romantic. :) It may be a long shot, but you never know. It's the little things that make it nice to have someone else around. Even if it's going to the farmer's marking and cooking a meal together. Link to post Share on other sites
BobRossRules Posted December 9, 2015 Author Share Posted December 9, 2015 ~Faraday~ You said it yourself: You observed that even in asexual circles, the rules of sexual attraction still apply. Youth and beauty win. When I made the comment about agism in the first post, I was actually referring to sexual dating sites. About a year or so ago I tried match for kicks and giggles, and that’s where I encountered it. However, in the ace community, I haven’t noticed it yet…though I’m very new here. I did come across a post about a 30 year old man who was adamantly attracted to women much younger than him. Otherwise, I have yet to get a reply from someone my age saying “sorry ma’am, you’re just too old!” I just wanted to clarify that. Link to post Share on other sites
usb Posted December 10, 2015 Share Posted December 10, 2015 I am okay with women my age. It's hard to find them! Link to post Share on other sites
usb Posted December 10, 2015 Share Posted December 10, 2015 What is the conference? Link to post Share on other sites
BobRossRules Posted December 10, 2015 Author Share Posted December 10, 2015 From what I’ve seen on posts and the internet, there is mention of the North American Asexuality Conference and International Asexuality Conference. I’m not sure if they are one in the same or actually 2 different organizations? Unfortunately, I hardly know anything about them. I read a little about the North American one earlier this year. I saw that the boarding accommodations were dorm rooms and shared. I know this may read as stuck up, but I would not be comfortable sharing a room and bathroom with strangers. Anyway, when I think about the asexuality conference, I envision something similar to the little people conference. :lol: Many little people meet, date, and get married from attending these meetings. Dwarfism impacts WAY less than 1% of the population, but the meetings themselves have been established long before the asexuality conferences. I'm pretty sure, however, that the asexuality conference is significantly smaller. I’d be more likely to attend next year if people I know are planning to attend as well. It’s possible for me to earn some CEUs from the lectures, so that’s a bit of a bonus. However, I don’t know if they would even be worth attending amongst our age group?? Link to post Share on other sites
Blue Phoenix Ace Posted December 12, 2015 Share Posted December 12, 2015 I bet the majority of attendees would be mature since they would be more able to book their own travel. Link to post Share on other sites
BobRossRules Posted December 13, 2015 Author Share Posted December 13, 2015 Aside from local meetups, has anyone ever traveled to another city or state to meet another ace? If so, what was the experience like? Link to post Share on other sites
daveb Posted December 13, 2015 Share Posted December 13, 2015 I have, both as part of other travel and also as the main reason for the travel. I had great experiences. Everyone I have met has been cool and fun and not as awkward to spend time with as some total stranger. At the very least we know we have asexuality in common (and that relieves what can be a big source of anxiety in meeting people). It has also helped that in most of the cases I had already had some interaction online with them beforehand, so I did know a bit about them. I also try to remember that many are like me in being awkward or nervous when meeting people. One good thing is it feels like a lot of the usual social pressures are off or at least lessened. I do prefer it when the group isn't very big. If it's much more than about 4 or 5 people total it can be difficult to have a single conversation and if there are multiple conversations it becomes a bit of overload to me. Link to post Share on other sites
tase Posted December 13, 2015 Share Posted December 13, 2015 I believe I already mentioned living close enough to NYC , that should I feel the need or desire I could attend one of their meetups. Also a decision has been made for our local Aces of New Haven to be swallowed up by the much larger Aces of New England. Since I am located equidistant between New York and Boston, there may be more opportunities to meet fellow aces. However, I feel like Dave, I prefer the 4-6 people over the 40-60 people any day. Faraday, if you find out more info on the North American conference, let us know. Perhaps we could arrange a small contingent of Avenites to get a block of rooms somewhere more suitable for our needs. Link to post Share on other sites
BobRossRules Posted December 14, 2015 Author Share Posted December 14, 2015 tase: having a small group gathering of older Avenites would be super neat-o!! I would love it. :) Link to post Share on other sites
BobRossRules Posted December 14, 2015 Author Share Posted December 14, 2015 At the very least we know we have asexuality in common (and that relieves what can be a big source of anxiety in meeting people).....One good thing is it feels like a lot of the usual social pressures are off or at least lessened. I do prefer it when the group isn't very big. If it's much more than about 4 or 5 people total it can be difficult to have a single conversation and if there are multiple conversations it becomes a bit of overload to me. I went on a trip to Alaska with a friend, despite me being up front that we are going as friends and no funny business (wink-wink), there was still that pressure - unfortunately. Although awkward, it was nonetheless a great trip. Being around other asexuals, would seem to put me more at ease - especially if I would be traveling to another city and staying at a hotel. Link to post Share on other sites
tase Posted December 14, 2015 Share Posted December 14, 2015 Wouldn't it be neat? :) I think we could get it done. I hope he didn't ruin your Alaska trip too much. "No sexual pressure" is my mantra Link to post Share on other sites
Qutenkuddly Posted December 15, 2015 Share Posted December 15, 2015 Aside from local meetups, has anyone ever traveled to another city or state to meet another ace? If so, what was the experience like? I attended the Asexual Conference at World Pride in Toronto last year. It was a blast! The girlfriend and I spent the week there and got to a lot of touristy stuff. I also got to meet (and hug) a lot of AVENites! :D Link to post Share on other sites
BobRossRules Posted December 16, 2015 Author Share Posted December 16, 2015 Tase: We moved on from it and I did enjoy the trip. However, the relationship was very strained and we broke up a few months later. Qutenkuddly: Is the conference every year? I'd certainly would be willing to go, I mean what's the worse that could possibly happen? It would be awesome to encourage the older crowd to attend and we could actually meet and hang out....perhaps even have some stuff in common. Anyway, I appreciate everyone's posts. It's kinda lonely here in Idaho and it's nice to know there are others out there too. :) Link to post Share on other sites
Blue Phoenix Ace Posted December 16, 2015 Share Posted December 16, 2015 It certainly does sound like fun. I hope they have a board game night. :) Link to post Share on other sites
tase Posted December 16, 2015 Share Posted December 16, 2015 If not, we make our own. Link to post Share on other sites
daveb Posted December 16, 2015 Share Posted December 16, 2015 DJ Ace, I love that idea! Link to post Share on other sites
BobRossRules Posted December 16, 2015 Author Share Posted December 16, 2015 just not spin the bottle or 7 minutes in heaven. :aven: Link to post Share on other sites
tase Posted December 16, 2015 Share Posted December 16, 2015 That's too funny Faraday, but it would be fun to see what type of ace friendly amended rules we could come up with. (For spin the bottle, 7 minutes in heaven may still be a little hairy.) Link to post Share on other sites
tase Posted December 17, 2015 Share Posted December 17, 2015 I've come to a conclusion: I am trying way to f*****g hard. I give up If something happens, it will be by Devine intervention Link to post Share on other sites
Fire Monkey Posted December 17, 2015 Share Posted December 17, 2015 I've come to a conclusion: I am trying way to f*****g hard. I give up If something happens, it will be by Devine intervention ? Link to post Share on other sites
BobRossRules Posted December 17, 2015 Author Share Posted December 17, 2015 I've come to a conclusion: I am trying way to f*****g hard. I give up If something happens, it will be by Devine intervention Please don't give up!!! All of us here have your back!! :aven: Link to post Share on other sites
daveb Posted December 18, 2015 Share Posted December 18, 2015 Also, I would leave the f*****g out of it. ;) :P But seriously, best wishes. Link to post Share on other sites
butterflydreams Posted December 18, 2015 Share Posted December 18, 2015 I've come to a conclusion: I am trying way to f*****g hard. I give up If something happens, it will be by Devine intervention Please don't give up!!! All of us here have your back!! :aven: Agreed, definitely don't. *hugs* Aside from local meetups, has anyone ever traveled to another city or state to meet another ace? If so, what was the experience like? There should be more aces in VT, but I work, and don't live near the one college city (where I've seen students there wearing asexual t-shirts). About a year ago, I decided to host a meetup as part of the New England Aces group which is based in Boston. I found a few people from western MA and threw out an invite for a fun little hike. In the end, only one person (out of 3) could make it, and I had to drive 3 hours to get there. I ended up having my college friend and her boyfriend come too, just so I wouldn't definitely be alone. It was fun, and nice to meet another ace in real life (my first and only at this point). But I don't necessarily feel like asexual company is better than mixed company for me personally. I've had pretty good luck with mixed company of people, even if there have been some bad experiences. I play adult co-ed dodgeball every week with a great group of folks. There's no pressure of any kind. It's dodgeball. You can even choose a nemesis if you want, but then you always end up smiling and laughing with each other at the end of the night :) Link to post Share on other sites
BobRossRules Posted December 18, 2015 Author Share Posted December 18, 2015 Also, I would leave the f*****g out of it. ;) :P Arnold Horshack laugh!! :lol: :lol: :lol: (no one under 30 gets that). Link to post Share on other sites
BobRossRules Posted December 18, 2015 Author Share Posted December 18, 2015 ...It was fun, and nice to meet another ace in real life (my first and only at this point). But I don't necessarily feel like asexual company is better than mixed company for me personally. I've had pretty good luck with mixed company of people, even if there have been some bad experiences. I play adult co-ed dodgeball every week with a great group of folks. There's no pressure of any kind. It's dodgeball. You can even choose a nemesis if you want, but then you always end up smiling and laughing with each other at the end of the night :) Time with friends, no matter what their orientation is fantastic. You must be awesome if you dig dodgeball!! 8) I know someone from work who used to be on a roller derby team. She's pretty bad ass. I've never meet a real live ace before (or at least I didn't know it). Personally, I think it would be neat, especially a person who is within the older age group. It's funny, I never describe myself as "old", except in the context of being ace. I'm actually a spring chicken. :D Link to post Share on other sites
daveb Posted December 18, 2015 Share Posted December 18, 2015 oh oh oh! I am with you on the "spring chicken" part, Faraday. (it wasn't that long ago that I started thinking of myself as middle-aged - if I have a midlife crisis now, does that mean I get to live to 120? :D ) Link to post Share on other sites
BobRossRules Posted December 18, 2015 Author Share Posted December 18, 2015 Absolutely...at least!! Link to post Share on other sites
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