Cate Perfect Posted September 4, 2003 Share Posted September 4, 2003 Hello, All, I realised this would be my hundredth post and wanted to do something to commemorate the occasion. Then I realised I'd never written an introductory post. So here it is: I'm 25 and live in coastal North Carolina, where it gets ludicrously hot for several weeks every summer. I like to read and write (am working on a novel right now) and play with my pets (two cats and a dog). I'm most definitely an introvert and prefer my own company to having loads of acquaintances, I find this to be quite peaceful and less stressful than most people's lives seem to be. I worked in the theatre quite extensively for years, but stopped three years ago and, though I miss it occasionally, am happy not to be involved in the drama theatre folk feel is their right, nay, their duty to immerse themselves in. My favourite books: I like actual Victorian authors or books set in the Victorian era: The Quincunx or Sarah Waters books. I also like Minette Walters, Ruth Rendell, PD James and Agatha Christie. I enjoy philosophical books as well: The Culture of Make Believe by Derrick Jensen will make you think about the way you see the world and why you see it that way. And I enjoy Virginia Woolf, Barbara Pym, Nancy Mitford, Wodehouse, Waugh, Lytton Strachey and that lot. Bill Bryson, Iain Banks and Jasper Fforde for fun. My favourite bands/music to listen to are: Fleetwood Mac, David Gray, Portishead, Apollo Four Forty, Dido, Badly Drawn Boy, Baxter, Baroque composers, Kronos Quartet and on and on. Favourite Actors: Helen Mirren (<= she's my personal goddess), Maggie Smith, Anthony Hopkins, Emma Thompson and random other British people like Jodhi May, Miranda Richardson, Diana Rigg, Joely Richardson, Julie Walters and Geraldine McEwan. My Asexual Story: There isn't much of one. I have never been interested in having 'naked time' with anyone and have never much cared what other people thought of me so didn't force myself to be social when I didn't want to be. I love living alone, though would like to have a female partner somewhere down the line to share a home, pets and a bed. I like cuddles and 'non-intrusive' kisses, massages, that sort of thing, but only if I like the other person loads. As long as I can remember I've had asexual fantasies, where I'd run off with my favourite woman at the time, usually one of my teachers, and we'd live together peacefully, reading and doing needlepoint, travelling the globe, buying antiques, etc, without requiring anyone else in our lives. Though I am repulsed by the idea of having sex with another person (too germy) sex fascinates me, or I should say that the lengths people go to to procure it fascinate me. I would probably be quite good as a psychologist specialising in sexual problems as I already feel as though I've been studying sexuals and their quirks for years. When you're not involved in something it's much easier to take a disinterested view of it, isn't it? I found this site through Dan Savage's column and have quite enjoyed myself here. The first thing I did was buy two t-shirts (thanks AVENGuy!), happy to find a place where there were other people like me. I'd been identifying as asexual from the time I was seventeen, when I found the book 'Boston Marriages' about asexual lesbian relationships. I do identify as lesbian, as the people I usually get on with best are women, men are 99.9% of the time interested in sex rather than being friends (though I must admit I do have something of an a-crush on Wombat). The times I've attempted to be friends with men, as soon as they realised that I really, truly wasn't going to show them my birthday suit they stopped ringing anyway so I decided to shorten the process by not talking to them in the first place. This decision has freed up loads of time. I now feel as though I have a small group of friends scattered about the globe who are polite enough to be there when I need them and clearing off when I want to be alone. Believe me, most people aren't that polite. Then again, MOST people expect me to get out there and date simply because it's the common thing to do. Well, I'm not common, nor do I wish to be. And neither are any of you, and that's a compliment. I have many other thoughts on the subject, but this has gone on a bit long and I will certainly continue dropping into the forums and just wanted to say an official 'Hello!' Cate Link to post Share on other sites
ogbg Posted September 4, 2003 Share Posted September 4, 2003 Hooray!! You made you introductory post!! :D And since it was your 100th, it looks like this calls for an extra-special welcoming... (taps CatePerfect on the shoulders with a sword) Thou art Bequeathed the Title of CatePerfect of AVEN, on this Day of September Fourth, of the Year Three and Two-Thousand, and are Hereby Entitled and Subjected to all the Rights and Privileges and Pains and Penalties of a True AVENite. God Save the Queen! (scrawls a grandiloquent signature across the bottom with a feather quill) Sign here, please. (hands CatePerfect the quill) La la la... done? Good. (stamps upside-down-triangle seal beside the signatures) And that's that!! You're a real AVENiten now!! :D hee hee hee Link to post Share on other sites
Cate Perfect Posted September 5, 2003 Author Share Posted September 5, 2003 [After signing name with a flourish, hands quill back to Oogie and curtsies.] Thank you, I feel so welcome now. (Not that I didn't before.) Cate Link to post Share on other sites
Hats Posted September 5, 2003 Share Posted September 5, 2003 ((((CatePerfect))))) Congrats on your 100th and woohoo to your introductory post. Loved it! :D Link to post Share on other sites
Cate Perfect Posted September 5, 2003 Author Share Posted September 5, 2003 [blushing up] Oh, thank YOU, Hats! (((Hats))) Cate Link to post Share on other sites
Kamikola Posted September 5, 2003 Share Posted September 5, 2003 Right now it's your 111 post so it's still special!!! and You're right by the way. Everyone is special. I think everything is special. Link to post Share on other sites
Gorax Posted September 5, 2003 Share Posted September 5, 2003 Happy 100th post, Cate :D Shit . . . I almost have 2500 and STILL haven't made my intro post :shock: Link to post Share on other sites
Jayann Posted September 26, 2003 Share Posted September 26, 2003 *runs up, panting* Sorry! *pant* I'm a little behind on the already-belated welcome-ing-ness! Ahem. Your story is righteous! Glad to get a glimpse of the person behind the username! Glad to have you as part of our Big Family Asexual Family! *courtesies awkwardly to the Queen* :D Link to post Share on other sites
Cate Perfect Posted September 30, 2003 Author Share Posted September 30, 2003 Thank you, thank you. [Does that little royal wave] Love your avatar, Julie. Cate Link to post Share on other sites
Artemis Posted October 11, 2003 Share Posted October 11, 2003 Welcome Can I ask a question about your writing? I've also been attempting to write novels/short stories for ages (but at the moment I'm really bogged down in trying to write up my project for work), and I've always had to avoid writing scenes of anything even vaguely sexual, do you write sex scenes or avoid them, and do you think that being asexual affects what you write about and how you write it? Link to post Share on other sites
Cate Perfect Posted October 11, 2003 Author Share Posted October 11, 2003 Writing sex scenes has never bothered me, if anything, they are great writing practice simply because of the difficulty of writing them. Your vocabulary is suddenly whittled down to about twelve words, and it's incredibly challenging not to sound trite or goofy. I wound up showing them to some of my sexual friends to see how 'accurate' they were and my friends said they were bang on, in fact, they asked for more, which cracked me up. Having said that I don't usually have sex scenes in my stories because it's not true to my characters: either they are asexual or that sort of thing happens off-screen, so to speak. The novel I'm currently writing will eventually have some sex in it because it's true to the story. To me that's like acting. When I'm on stage if I have to kiss someone or have a love scene of some sort it doesn't bother me at all, because it's not real. Watching scenes in movies/reading scenes in books doesn't bother me, either. It's only when someone tries to touch me in real life that I feel disgusted. Until it's directed at me I don't really think about it, it doesn't seem to have anything to do with me. I hope this answers your question, but if you have any more please feel free to ask. What sorts of things do you write? Do you find you avoid physical intimacy between your characters? Cate Link to post Share on other sites
Gorax Posted October 11, 2003 Share Posted October 11, 2003 If I ever get into writing, it will be "off screen" all the way ^^ Link to post Share on other sites
Cate Perfect Posted October 12, 2003 Author Share Posted October 12, 2003 Yeah, it really depends on the scene and what seems true to the characters. In a lot of books the scene feels forced in there, as if the authors editor or publisher said, 'You know, a sex scene would really sell it.' For me sometimes it's appropriate and sometimes it is superfluous. Cate Link to post Share on other sites
Artemis Posted October 12, 2003 Share Posted October 12, 2003 I wound up showing them to some of my sexual friends to see how 'accurate' they were and my friends said they were bang on, in fact, they asked for more, which cracked me up. That really made me laugh too! Thanks for your reply, it's interesting to hear how you can separate sex which isn't real and doesn't bother you, from "real sex". In my stories I tend to (often unconsciously) have asexual characters, but I also tend to write more about relationships that are not sexual ones anyway, such as friendships, and characters relationships with their sexual partners aren't so important to the story Link to post Share on other sites
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