Unsure where to start.

[MelodicNocturne]

Hello. I must confess, as you probably guessed by the fact that I've arrived here, that I'm a bit confused right now.

But first, a bit of background.

Though this will likely make some people discredit me the first thing to say is that me and my SO are both very young (as in, high school). We're also in a relationship that most people would argue is doomed to fail for so many reasons- including that we're both incredibly introverted, we're long-distance (not fun x.x), and of course we're both in high school. And the most recent thing.

Very recently when my girlfriend came to visit me she came out to me as sexual. I'd be lying if I said I didn't suspect something similar to that but it still caught me a bit off-guard all the same.

The reason I felt like I wanted to make a thread is that I find myself in a strange predicament. I am certainly sexual myself, this I can be confident of, but (perhaps part of what my girlfriend likes about me) is that I just do not care in the slightest about sexual interactions. Which may sound weird coming from a teenage boy, but it's just never something that's mattered to me. So although I am sexual I find that I don't care much.

The question I am very indirectly coming to here circles around the fact that I'm confused. Although there is fortunately more information on the internet now than there was in previous years I just don't know where to start in my research. I really want to be supportive of my girlfriend but it's hard because I don't find myself knowing where not to tread or what I should be doing. So the question- can someone help me start to figure out what I can do to show support and to just understand it a little better myself?

Thank you for your time.

[Sapphire Rose]

I would start right at the source: your gf. I would tell her that you love her and want to support her to the best of your ability. Ask her questions and start a conversation. You can just google some general things if you want to, but my best bet would be for you to ask her and talk to her. Best of luck to you!

[element83]

The question I am very indirectly coming to here circles around the fact that I'm confused. Although there is fortunately more information on the internet now than there was in previous years I just don't know where to start in my research. I really want to be supportive of my girlfriend but it's hard because I don't find myself knowing where not to tread or what I should be doing. So the question- can someone help me start to figure out what I can do to show support and to just understand it a little better myself?

At a guess, be yourself. Your girlfriend is interested in you for who you are. Communicate. If you're doing something that you're not sure is appropriate, check in with her and ask how she feels about it.

As for understanding... talk to her. No two asexuals are the same, and only she's going to be able to tell you about what her life experiences are like. She may have found out about asexuality through resources on the internet that made her feel like she wasn't alone - and she might be willing to show you those to explain what her identity as an asexual means to her.

P.S. I was in high school when I first came out as asexual... and lots of people here have known since they were quite young, even if they didn't have the words for it - people here tend to be pretty good about young people and their identities.