Wanting to Love - Crush on an Asexual

[Orange_fox]

Hello, I would like to start out by saying that I've started reading this when one of my closest friends came to the conclusion that she was a type B bi-asexual and I was having problems wrapping my mind around the whole ordeal. I've read several topics on this website, many of them helped tremendously with me becoming more supportive of her as she goes through this realization of her sexual orientation. I have known this person since I was in kindergarten and wish only the best for her.

Now that this is out of the way, onto what I have a problem with. Over these past few weeks, before she came to defining herself as asexual, I found myself starting to have a deeper and deeper crush on her (I have found myself with these feelings before, but supressed it for several reasons and for a brief period, so did she). I have always had the passing thought that we'd be good together since we noticed many things we find attractive in our spouses were in each other.

I have a *cough* higher than average libido, and even when I think of all the odds stacked against me, I still wish to say 'I love you' to her in another form that isn't out of sibling love, and even if we never kiss (she is germaphobic when it comes to body fluids) or get down and dirty. However, she doesn't want fo feel pressured or burdened with an asexual/sexual relationship. I know if any type of intimate relationship is going to happen, these issues are going to have to be confronted.

I know I love her enough, even as her just being my (not blood related) sister that there isn't much I wouldn't do if she asked me. So with this dilemma, I must ask since I can't find the right answer for myself, is there a possible way, in a monogomous manner, if this can work out? I've looked up things from black licorice all the way to an orchiectomy if that is what it takes. I just don't want to ruin what we have since the trust we share is so deep. I also know that without something to lower my own drive, it won't work out, and on the opposite side, I don't want her to feel indebted to me if I go through with anything drastic later on.

Also, what are some alternatives for showing affection? I've read a few good ones, but I'm just wanting a few suggestions. She enjoys hugs and cuddling, but I'm just looking for another way besides kissing that shows love for one another. This part also doesn't have to involve me being in the picture.

Thank you for putting up with my long and drawn out topic, but I've just run into this standstill and don't know what to do about it.

[Tarfeather]

I also know that without something to lower my own drive, it won't work out

Why do you think so?

Also, what are some alternatives for showing affection? I've read a few good ones, but I'm just wanting a few suggestions.

Most of the stuff you would think of naturally. The only one that I had to consciously plan and which we ended up enjoying was massages. Also, I think affection isn't shown through any particular act, but rather through a general mood/atmosphere. If you feel that this affection is lacking, then the best way to work on it is communication, not physical actions.