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Older Ace virgins over 40


newgirl

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On 3/8/2021 at 8:13 PM, newgirl said:

Hey!

 

Did anyone know about  Aven  members Caryne speed dating event

 

"I run a zoom speed dating event with 2 friends, I would run a Ace event if we had at least 12 people."

Http://www.zoomdating.ca

 

 If anybody tries the speed dating event, share your experiences

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I'm new to posting on AVEN, though I've visited the site a few times for information over the last couple of years. I was born in 1971. I'm 49. And yes, I'm still a virgin, though I did date a few people between about 17 and 27, and a couple of them thought in terms of marriage. The relationships worked as far as they did because for one reason or another the other person wanted to wait for sex, but they clearly found this difficult and I found it extremely easy. When marriage came on the scene as a possibility, so did sex, and when it came to it, I just wasn't interested, and the relationship wasn't strong enough for me to try to have sex without really wanting it. I knew, really, that I wasn't interested in sex, and had done since my teens, and I should probably have stopped the relationships earlier, knowing this, but they had much to recommend them otherwise ...

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22 hours ago, PhilGG said:

I'm new to posting on AVEN, though I've visited the site a few times for information over the last couple of years. I was born in 1971. I'm 49. And yes, I'm still a virgin, though I did date a few people between about 17 and 27, and a couple of them thought in terms of marriage. The relationships worked as far as they did because for one reason or another the other person wanted to wait for sex, but they clearly found this difficult and I found it extremely easy. When marriage came on the scene as a possibility, so did sex, and when it came to it, I just wasn't interested, and the relationship wasn't strong enough for me to try to have sex without really wanting it. I knew, really, that I wasn't interested in sex, and had done since my teens, and I should probably have stopped the relationships earlier, knowing this, but they had much to recommend them otherwise ...

Don't feel bad, I dated  a sexual man for 10 years . He never understood asexuality but I learned allot from that relationship. I  learned,  I  should date an asexual man but the problem, there is not enough  asexual men who are boyfriend or husband material out there in  my age bracket or California. Don't five up finding  a fellow asexual woman out there. There are plenty out there

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@PhilGG I'm 59 years old and still a virgin. I had friends that were girls in my 20s and a couple in my 40s and 50s. One of them brought up the subject of us having sex about four years before I found out about asexuality. I just about bit her head off in my response :( and never saw her again. 

 

I've never been one to go looking for friendship (I realised what aromantic meant a couple of years ago) , so I'm not much help to the asexual women of Ontario.

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 I think covid lockdown is putting a bright light on allot of people views on friendship, romantic relationship and I want to be alone

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  • 2 weeks later...

 TIME MACHINE

 

 

 For 7 days, you'll have to go back in time and spend time with yourself at  16 years old. How would you feel?

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23 minutes ago, newgirl said:

 TIME MACHINE

 

 

 For 7 days, you'll have to go back in time and spend time with yourself at  16 years old. How would you feel?

I don't think I'd get along with young me that well. He'd be impressed with some things I've accomplished, but disappointed with other things. I wish I could tell him about asexuallity and aromanticism....

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I would go back in time to 1986 in a heartbeat if I could go back in time with the knowledge I have  from 2021.   I would  go back  and learn how to drive a car, curse out some  people ,apologize to some  people and found lost family members

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On 4/6/2021 at 9:20 PM, newgirl said:

 TIME MACHINE

 

 

 For 7 days, you'll have to go back in time and spend time with yourself at  16 years old. How would you feel?

My 16 year old self would be shocked and disappointed in me. When I was sixteen I had lofty goals that I did not achieve.  Though I would give my sixteen year old self a lot advice. 

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16 yr self would be 1967 for me.  1st of all I would give myself a lot of stock tips for the future.  It would explain a lot if I could tell myself about the concept of asexuality.

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  • 2 weeks later...
SoulSolitude

I had my penis inside of a vagina at 27, but I have never cum with anyone. 

 

I suppose technically I am not a virgin, but I still kind of feel like one...

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  • 2 weeks later...

To new members:

 

Born before 1973 and   you want to be  added on the  list, let me know

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  • 2 weeks later...

Wow This thread will turn 6 years old in Sept.   Beside age and year, has  anything really changed

 

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42 minutes ago, newgirl said:

Wow This thread will turn 6 years old in Sept.   Beside age and year, has  anything really changed

 

Still a virgin.

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4 hours ago, newgirl said:

Wow This thread will turn 6 years old in Sept.   Beside age and year, has  anything really changed

 

This thread started a month or two before I discovered asexuality and aromanticism and realized that they described me. That was a big change. Otherwise, not all that much....

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everywhere and nowhere
On 3/14/2021 at 5:51 PM, newgirl said:

 If anybody tries the speed dating event, share your experiences

I'd love to find a non-straight speed dating event... :(

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everywhere and nowhere

I know that it's and old post, but...

On 10/19/2020 at 8:58 AM, Skycaptain said:

The one thing I will say is "Never say never". 

I had always been more than content with staying a virgin for life, same as I'd been more than happy identifying as aromantic for life. 

But it's not impossible that things change. 

I'm sex-averse. The very idea of personally having sex feels horrible to me. It's not just something I lack any interest in, it's something I actively want never to do. Can't I have my choice respected even here?

Really, it's not a good and respectful thing to say. Some of us are sex-averse. Some of us actively want never to have sex. What's wrong about it? Is it right to suggest that we are "close-minded" and guilt us into considering things which are so deeply at odds with what we want?

AVEN must be a friendly place to both the uninterested and the sex-averse. They all deserve validation and not uncomfortable suggestions from within our community.

Edited by Nowhere Girl
typo
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Do any of you have thoughts about being a virgin as the years go by? In some ways I'm happy that I am one, but It don't wear it on my sleeve. I can't explain my happiness, but I look upon it as a part of me.

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9 hours ago, will123 said:

Do any of you have thoughts about being a virgin as the years go by? In some ways I'm happy that I am one, but It don't wear it on my sleeve. I can't explain my happiness, but I look upon it as a part of me.

Honestly, I don't think about it much. It's a fact, but there are far more important things about me.

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9 hours ago, will123 said:

Do any of you have thoughts about being a virgin as the years go by? In some ways I'm happy that I am one, but It don't wear it on my sleeve. I can't explain my happiness, but I look upon it as a part of me.

Wonder where that term "wear it on your sleeve" came from and what it means?

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6 minutes ago, Nick2 said:

Wonder where that term "wear it on your sleeve" came from and what it means?

I think from badges in the military or scouts?

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  • 2 weeks later...
Broken wings

I’m 47 and a virgin... makes me feel somehow incomplete though to be frank the thought of having sex just does nothing for me. 
I just long for emotional intimacy...

 

🤷‍♀️

BW

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On 5/23/2021 at 3:22 PM, Nick2 said:

Wonder where that term "wear it on your sleeve" came from and what it means?

According to Merriam Webster 
"It's likely that the phrase "wear your heart on your sleeve" comes from medieval jousts, where a 'sleeve' referred to a piece of armor which covered and protected the arm. Knights would often wear a lady's token around their sleeve of armor."

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7 minutes ago, Tanwen said:

According to Merriam Webster 
"It's likely that the phrase "wear your heart on your sleeve" comes from medieval jousts, where a 'sleeve' referred to a piece of armor which covered and protected the arm. Knights would often wear a lady's token around their sleeve of armor."

That makes sense!

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VanishingLady
On 4/6/2021 at 9:20 PM, newgirl said:

 TIME MACHINE

 

 

 For 7 days, you'll have to go back in time and spend time with yourself at  16 years old. How would you feel?

I think 16yo me would be surprised I'm still alive (I was very suicidal then, still suicidal-lite now), and she'd also be disappointed that she isn't a nun nor a forensic pathologist. I'd explain to her that narcissistic, abusive mother would be dead in 4 years and that she shouldn't let her siblings bully her into taking care of their father by herself while they get to live their lives. I'd also explain asexuality to her and console her that there's nothing wrong w her not being interested in having sex. I'd also advise to pay attention any red flags that come up in her relationships with men who are attracted to her because of her empathy and loving nature - they won't get better and she doesn't need them.

 

Just finished reading The Midnight Library by Matthew Haig - thinking a lot about regrets lately.

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On 5/23/2021 at 6:43 AM, will123 said:

Do any of you have thoughts about being a virgin as the years go by? In some ways I'm happy that I am one, but It don't wear it on my sleeve. I can't explain my happiness, but I look upon it as a part of me.

No. I don't care either way.

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Born in Star Wars year (1977). 45 years old and never had an intimate relationship. So now I'm starting to feel lonely and like I've missed out, that I've wasted my life. Anyone else having these issue of loneliness?

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48 minutes ago, Ace-Cel said:

Born in Star Wars year (1977). 45 years old and never had an intimate relationship. So now I'm starting to feel lonely and like I've missed out, that I've wasted my life. Anyone else having these issue of loneliness?

I am (IMO) a sociable person, so it's not like I'm a shut in. When I found out about asexuality, I was 44. One of my first thoughts was, "I don't have to worry about my virginity now!" It had been a 'concern' of mine in my later 30s that I was going to die a virgin. Now I'm kind of happy that I'm still a virgin at 59. Knowing that I'll die one now, it's not a big deal, especially seeing other persons in their 50s that are virgins. To them it's not a big deal that they've never had sex.

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Broken wings

The loneliness bothers me a lot - it’s not really even about then sex part - it’s more about a significant other being able to share thoughts and feelings with…. 

 

❤️
BW

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