Older Ace virgins over 40

[Ady83]

Newgirl;

 

     I am so sorry that you are not having luck. But if they cannot/will not date you as you are/for who you are then they do not deserve to be in your life. Sending hugs. 

[jay williams]

On 12/15/2024 at 2:52 PM, newgirl said:

You said,
There are female virgin ace over 50. I'm in that group. The problem,  we don't  hear allot about asexual virgin   men and women over 40 dating or in long term relationship  on Aven or Facebook.   

My response,

If a person specifies virgins, over 40 or otherwise, then that limits the pool to a likely really small number of people. I think if I were a woman, and I wanted a non-sexual relationship of some kind with a man I would not limit my search to male virgins. I would be willing to bet that there are a lot more asexual males over 30 who have had sex at some time or another, than asexual males over 30 who have never had sex.    
 

[VEDd00]

On 2/11/2024 at 10:48 PM, newgirl said:

To aces who  WANT a relationship,  is Valetine Day dead?

New here, in my 40s and (not kissless) virgin so I have steve carell status now.

 

Valentine's day doesn't exist for me, never recieved anything for it and never had a gf on it to give anything as my gf count is 2 and duration is tops 2 weeks before they cheated on me. I like the idea of valentine's day as I am a romantic but still have to meet the first girl that sticks around after finding out I have no sexual interest.

 

I very much want a romantic/intimate relationship, even badly want kids.. but I do not want (or like, when thinking about it) to have sex. (as in penetrating someone)

But I do understand that would I by some miracle ever meet someone who understands' and doesn't mind all this' (as in doesn't want recreational sex) I would have to perform at the very least once' (or if unlucky more often, sigh) to procreate. I actually have no idea how to at this point.

[Frameshift07]

2 minutes ago, VEDd00 said:

I would have to perform at the very least once' (or if unlucky more often, sigh) to procreate.

Actually, no. There are ways of getting the genetic material together without having sex. In-vitro fertilization, for example.

[RekrabMot]

On 9/5/2015 at 7:54 PM, newgirl said:

Wow, I found an OLD thread started in 2007 tittle "Venerable Virgins" by M51. The thread had a list of virgins who were born 1970 and above.

1. Mackat5 - 1942
2. Dogmom - 1945
3. Islander9 - 1947
4. Philip - 1949
5. Nick2 - 1951
6. Ziffler - 1952
6. snowie - 1952
8. QuixoticGal - 1953
9. Hammerhead - 1955
10. Bug - 1957
10. Tygrrheart49 - 1957
10. Asterion - 1957
13. Teddy Miller - 1958
14. Kelly Kelly - 1959
15. 2tabbymom - 1961
16. Minoan - 1962
17. The SMMG - 1964
17. Erita - 1964
17. Thylacine - 1964
20. Harpo's Gookie - 1965
20. UnicornLady - 1965
22. KE6WNH - 1967
22. RekrabMot - 1967
24. Provence - 1968
24. The Student - 1968
24. midsummer mist - 1968
27. DayTripperYeah - 1970
27. newgirl - 1970

WHERE ARE YOU NOW ,people on this list ?????!!!!!!

Still on the list, but now 57

[will123]

9 hours ago, RekrabMot said:

Still on the list, but now 57

Can you post a link to the thread? I'd be 15 or 16 on 'that' list as I was born in 1961.

[RekrabMot]

9 hours ago, will123 said:

Can you post a link to the thread? I'd be 15 or 16 on 'that' list as I was born in 1961.

It's this thread, the first post on page 1

[RekrabMot]

Or go for:

 

[newgirl]

I am so glad everybody on that list is doing good

[Nick2]

Still on the list but 73...almost 74.

[Catpaws]

Add me to this list. 1975, I'll be 50 in a little over two weeks.

 

I used to be ashamed of it, thought there was something "wrong" about it. Now? Just part of who I am.

[will123]

Have any of you even thought of seeking out a partner to lose your virginity to? No need to get into specifics, just a simple yes or no.

 

In my case I considered hiring a sex worker, but the legal implications (prostitution is illegal in Canada) quickly dashed that idea.

 

 

[Nick2]

On 4/11/2025 at 11:00 AM, will123 said:

Have any of you even thought of seeking out a partner to lose your virginity to? No need to get into specifics, just a simple yes or no.

 

I'm my case I considered hiring a sex worker, but the legal implications (prostitution is illegal in Canada) quickly dashed that idea.

 

 

No.

[newgirl]

No!

[will123]

15 minutes ago, newgirl said:

No!

I like the emphasis. That sounds like my reply to a question from a girl I knew if I could see us having sex...

[OldNews]

No, I've never gone there. I'm sex-repulsed and aroace, so I just stay away from the whole thing.

[ludoace]

J'ai 45 ans je suis toujours vierge 

[will123]

1 hour ago, ludoace said:

J'ai 45 ans je suis toujours vierge 

Welcome to AVEN! 

[ludoace]

On 13/04/2025 at 00:14, Nick2 said:

Non.

Non

[ludoace]

On 28/08/2018 at 20:36, RekrabMot said:

maintenant 51 ans et toujours vierge.

J'espère y arriver à cet âge 

[ludoace]

Pour l'instant je n'ai pas envie de perdre ma virginité💜🖤

[ludoace]

On 24/09/2015 at 07:49, TeddyMiller said:

J'ai 57 ans maintenant et je suis toujours vierge.

J'espère arriver à cet âge toujours vierge 

[MakesSenseNow]

On 12/15/2024 at 8:52 PM, newgirl said:

There are female virgin ace over 50. I'm in that group. The problem,  we don't  hear allot about asexual virgin   men and women over 40 dating or in long term relationship  on Aven or Facebook.  We only hear asexual  virgin over 40  who don't  want to date or have a boyfriend or girlfriend.  I've only had 1 boyfriend  in my life and he was a sexual  man.  I have no interest  dating a  sexual  man again because  I won't  compromise on engaging in vaginal  sex, anal sex and oral sex. I really want to date an asexual man for once in my life but  asexual  men over 50 wanting a girlfriend  or wife is 1% or less. I'm forced  to  be single.

Maybe they do want to date, but get put off because it seems that the conversation on every first date is: "how many relationships have you been in?".

 

Some people seem to view people with say 20, 30 etc sexual partners as a better prospect for a longterm relationship than with someone without/limited sexual history. Maybe they are correct and I'm not suggesting that 20+ partners is bad or shameful.

 

However, maybe those with a limited partner history worry about that first date conversation. Hence, they just give-up trying to find a partner. Especially if they do not wish to have sexual contact.

 

Obviously, when I say "they', I do mean me, but I doubt that I am alone.

 

The problem is not knowing where to look.

 

Also, so that I don't worry you, I'll add that I'm not suggesting me, because I'm not wanting a relationship. 🙄😂🙃 although this is due to a carers" responsibility. However, the future of being alone scares me. I still dream of a happy ever after.

 

I suppose one positive of bring an older ace person is that sexual people's libido is lowering; in many cases to non-existent. That has to increase the dating pool. Although  whether those people, with zero libido, would join a date site is questionable (I'm not really helping, am I? Sorry). Again, maybe it's more of a question of knowing where to find each other.

 

As I say, I'm not sure how helpful my post is, but don't give-up. Just thinking, that I'm sure some dating sites have an asexual option now. I don't think I've dreamt that. Maybe the LGBTQIA+ dating sites?

 

NewGirl, best of luck. I hope you get your happy ever after.

[will123]

Others have said they've been on dating apps, that allowed you to include asexual, but it didn't make a real difference with the results.

[Catpaws]

On 4/11/2025 at 9:00 AM, will123 said:

Have any of you even thought of seeking out a partner to lose your virginity to? No need to get into specifics, just a simple yes or no.

 

In my case I considered hiring a sex worker, but the legal implications (prostitution is illegal in Canada) quickly dashed that idea.

 

 

I thought about it, in a hypothetical kind of way, because at the time I didn't yet know I was ace and thought I just wasn't able to find anyone I clicked with in that way. I was bothered by the general societal disapproval of virginity at an older age and thought sometimes maybe I should just try that to "get rid of it" and "try it" because at the time I thought it was me just being too picky or (fill in the disapproval stereotype here).

 

But for a variety of reasons I could never truly justify the "just trying", so it stayed a thought exercise.

[MakesSenseNow]

Fittingly for this discussion, there is a new UK dating show that has been trailered over past few days.

 

It's about 12 adult virgins - it says that they are in their 20s - who are being taken/invited to a retreat in the USA. There they will be taught intimacy and introduced to sex surrogates (people who teach others to have sex, but not an escort/sex worker) with the view to the participants losing their virginity.

 

The t.v. people released some media promotion. In which, it says that "1 in 8 26-year-olds" are still virgins. 

 

Here is the press release. Maybe I'm bias/expecting this  viewpoint, hence I'm reading this as "virginity is something shameful and leads to a miserable life" undertone. Either way, asexuality or aromanticism is not mentioned.

 

https://www.channel4.com/press/news/first-look-channel-4s-virgin-island

 

The trailer is probably on YouTube, if you try searching for "Channel 4 Virgin Island"

[will123]

After I identified as asexual, I was quite content to be a virgin. It was something (losing it) that I didnt have to be concerned with.

 

When ever I've come out to someone and I'm explaining my reasons why I consider myself asexual, I tell them that I'm still a virgin and never had a girlfriend or boyfriend.

[newgirl]

On 5/3/2025 at 7:18 AM, will123 said:

After I identified as asexual, I was quite content to be a virgin. It was something (losing it) that I didnt have to be concerned with.

 

When ever I've come out to someone and I'm explaining my reasons why I consider myself asexual, I tell them that I'm still a virgin and never had a girlfriend or boyfriend.

I kinda agree with you. I'm in m mid 50s. I  forget that I never had vagibsl sex until I'm around  sexual men. I have only had 1 relationships  in my whole life

[OldNews]

I don't think I was ever bothered by the fact that I had never had sex. At one point, I thought the right time/situation would present it itself. I felt the same about romantic relationships. I mostly forgot about it. Then I discovered asexuality and aromanticism when I was 40. At that point I realized there would be no "right time", and that's OK.

[everywhere and nowhere]

On 5/3/2025 at 2:19 PM, MakesSenseNow said:

It's about 12 adult virgins - it says that they are in their 20s - who are being taken/invited to a retreat in the USA. There they will be taught intimacy and introduced to sex surrogates (people who teach others to have sex, but not an escort/sex worker) with the view to the participants losing their virginity.

 

The t.v. people released some media promotion. In which, it says that "1 in 8 26-year-olds" are still virgins. 

 

Here is the press release. Maybe I'm bias/expecting this  viewpoint, hence I'm reading this as "virginity is something shameful and leads to a miserable life" undertone. Either way, asexuality or aromanticism is not mentioned.

I'm absolutely biased too.

And I remember reading about something similar. It couldn't have been the same show, because it was several years ago, but it was some documentary about similar "therapy", with two people appearing. In case of the guy it seemed that the reason he had never had sex before was just his shyness, he did "well" and "progressed" quickly. But the woman, instead... she seemed clearly uncomfortable and the asexual blogger who described it wrote that it seemed like she could have very well been asexual, but no one ever suggested such a possibility to her. So she pushed herself into doing things she didn't want, because she believed that she should. Promoting the view that sexual inexperience at a relatively later age is something weird and possibly shameful without even mentioning asexuality might only put more people in this situation.

Perhaps we could write a letter to the show crew?...