married to an asexual

[WineNot58]

Time to talk?

[Star Bit]

You can still have emotional intimacy in a non-sexual relationship. Maybe she doesn't do romantic things anymore because she feels they will lead to sex or that it'll tease you. Not saying i love you doesn't really mean much; it's actually a cultural thing because others don't do it. Personally i hate stating the obvious but it doesn't mean the emotion isn't there. It sounds like your asexual son is also aromantic.

But on that note, and i don't mean to trigger a future fear, if your wife's lack in romantic actions isn't because of consideration then i wonder if she's aromantic too. Romantic attraction is an emotion so it's hard to put into words, but it can be inadequately put as a soft/fuzzy feeling with some degree of fixation. Some people react to it with butterflies in their stomach, dreamy mind set, increased heart rate, etc., and others don't. This isn't to say that an aromantic can't strongly platonically love or favor someone. Some aromantics find acting romantically fun because it's odd and kind of intertaining to them but they don't actually desire to do it; they just do it because they feel the partner expects it. Some aromantics also mistake other forms of attraction for romantic attraction; like the urge to look at someone because of their looks and or mannerisms; aesthetic admerance (called aesthetic attraction), a fixation on someone because of their emotions and by extent personality; i would compare this to having a favorite character or admirance (called emotional attraction), and a strong desire to know/befriend someone (called platonic attraction). Please don't view these separate forms of attraction as needless specifics, they are merely labeled because there are people in the word who do feel them separately.

Hmm,if you've already brought up the issue to her and she's unwilling to do anything about it then yah, divorce sounds like the only remaining option. That is, if you aren't willing to have an open (or at this point polyamorous) relationship. But i guess there also wouldn't be much of a reason to even go back to her (from the other partner) if she's actually giving you nothing.