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Agender and Lesbian (homoromantic)?


Dutch_Ace

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As I recently describe myself as Agender (human rather then female or male) but I prefer company of women and ultimatly want a romantic relationship with a woman, can I still call myself Lesbian or homoromantic? Even when my gender identity is Agender/Genderneutral?

This confuses me a lot lately. Phisically I am a female but I don´t feel like that. It´s like people having a tailbone, it´s there but it has no function anymore. I feel the same with my female anatomy, it´s there but it has no function/no meaning for me....as I´m asexual and don´t use it (anymore).

Can someone shine a light on this? Thanx!

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I do think so. Lesbian can be same-gender or same-sex, I think?

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What about gynoromantic? Romantically attracted to women.

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What about gynoromantic? Romantically attracted to women.

I was going to suggest this too

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Thanx! The Urban Dictionairy says: "a person who's romantically attracted to femininity", but I am aesteticly and romanticly attracted to masculine women. So there´s where I was thrown off....

This definition makes more sence to me: "Gynoromantic means you're romantically attracted to females, regardless of what gender you identify as."

I´m starting to look like something on sale, with all the labels I´m collecting....trying to figure myself out. Maybe in public I´ll just say "I am me" whenever someone askes me about my gender/orientation etc. :lol:

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It's entirely open to non-binary people to use terms like gay and lesbian, maybe based on gender assigned at birth, whether they lean towards masculine or feminine, etc. So you can be lesbian if you want. (And, "gynoromantic" is a common misspelling for "gyneromantic".)

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Moved from Asexual Q&A to Romantic and Aromantic Orientations

Lia

Asexual Q&A Co-Moderator

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There are agender people who call themselves lesbian. That is indeed a thing.

The almost-example I can think of is A. Stiffler, who along with their wife K. Copeland writes the fantasy webcomic FindChaos and the autobiographical fantasy ChaosLife, and also wrote the info-comic Lesbians 101. Last I checked, Stiffler is agender and chooses not to define their sexuality while Copeland is a cisgender lesbian woman. They use the word 'queer' to define their relationship rather than 'lesbian.' Their comics are pretty enjoyable!

http://www.findchaos.com/

http://chaoslife.findchaos.com/

http://lesbians101.findchaos.com/

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LadyErzsebet

Are you actually me? :P My gender identity is still being worked out, so not exactly the same, but I've struggled with the idea of whether I could still describe myself as lesbian. I've gone with yes, because I still have some connection with "woman"-ness (I used to identify as such, I feel connected to queer women's spaces even if I don't necessarily identify as a woman) and lesbian was the first term I ever came out as and I have an attachment to it.

Also, I've never found a term that conveyed, simply and in terms most people could immediately understand, my complete romantic/sexual disinterest in cis guys.

So I'm going to say, if you feel like lesbian describes you, go for it.

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There are agender people who call themselves lesbian. That is indeed a thing.

The almost-example I can think of is A. Stiffler, who along with their wife K. Copeland writes the fantasy webcomic FindChaos and the autobiographical fantasy ChaosLife, and also wrote the info-comic Lesbians 101. Last I checked, Stiffler is agender and chooses not to define their sexuality while Copeland is a cisgender lesbian woman. They use the word 'queer' to define their relationship rather than 'lesbian.' Their comics are pretty enjoyable!

http://www.findchaos.com/

http://chaoslife.findchaos.com/

http://lesbians101.findchaos.com/

Their comics are awesome! I also suggest reading them! :D :D

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  • 4 weeks later...

I don't like the idea of "lesbian" being used to mean same-gender OR same-sex because that can be used to invalidate trans men and AFAB nonbinary people who don't want to call themselves lesbians, as well as nonbinary AMAB people and trans women who do. So I'm not a lesbian, but I think the word should be exclusive to women and feminine-spectrum nonbinary people, of any biological sex, who are attracted sexually and/or romantically to women.

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Also, I've never found a term that conveyed, simply and in terms most people could immediately understand, my complete romantic/sexual disinterest in cis guys.

Nocismaromantic might be the term you're looking for. Literally means you're romantically interested in everyone except cis men.

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There's a blog, I think it's either wordpress or Blogspot, called "Life Beyond Bivalence". The author is a non-binary trans woman who is attracted to women. Ze coined the term "chian" (said like "lion" with a k sound), based on the island of Chios. It's an island near Lesbos, so a chian is close to Lesbian, but not fully there. Though ze doesn't go into much depth on the criteria for it, I figure these are what it could mean:

-Nonbinary people who lean femme and like exclusively or mostly women

-AFAB people (or anyone, I guess) who only feel female or femme-leaning in sexual and/or romantic settings

-Trans women who like women but do not feel the term Lesbian fits them, for this or other reasons

Based on this, what could be used for AMABs and transmasc people who like men? A lot of us just use "gay" but it would be cool to have something like chian.

As for nocismaromantic, the poster did say it should be in terms most people could understand. You'd have to explain that, then cis, then tomantic attraction, then asexuality, etc., when "biromantic" is so much easier to say.

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