Lost247365 Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 QP attraction doesn't exist. First, QP is a subtype of platonic, not a separate category. Second, if you're attracted to someone, whatever the attraction is, it's by definition not platonic. There is the desire to make friends, and if it's the desire to be committed friends, or cuddle buddies, it's QP because it's considered an atypical friendship by society. Alterous, on the contrary, is based on attraction and involves some ambiguous kind of attraction ; it's somewhat romantic but not enough or too atypical for the average romantic person. It's grey-romantic, actually. A mix of romantic and friendly feelings that are confusing to the point where the person can't even know where the limit between the two categories is. That not how my understanding of the concept works. Everything I have ever seen has called it a type of attraction. For instance, this article from UNC specifically mentions platonic attraction: https://lgbtq.unc.edu/asexuality-attraction-and-romantic-orientation And these articles discuss friendship attractions: https://www.psychologytoday.com/sites/default/files/attachments/85933/jspr-reeder.pdf https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/i-can-relate/201202/attraction-just-between-friends QP is emotionally platonic, and platonic isn't attraction. It's what you feel for your friends and family, and calling that attraction would be both inaccurate and awkward (to not say inappropriate). QP is merely platonic that looks weird to others. It seems different as feelings are expressed a bit differently, but emotionally, it's not of a different nature, it's generally more intense than other friendships but that's all. I disagree. It fits quite well with the definition of attraction: http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/us/definition/american_english/attraction So you're platonically attracted to your parents then ? And no relationships, no love, no affection can exist without attraction ? You see, both things, that's huge bullshit. Children and parents can be friends. That is the way many parent-child relationships become once the child is grown. As for your second comment depends on what you mean by relationship. If you are talking about relationship in how people associate with each, then yeah all relationships require some sort of attraction or you won't associate withone or another. Even in families, if you have no interest in someone then you won't associate with them. It's your personal definition, again. And you're trying to say that your definition has something official. It not just Stars definition: https://www.asexuality.org/wiki/index.php?title=Romantic_attraction A squish is the aromantic counterpart for a crush. A squish is a strong desire for some kind of platonic (nonsexual, nonromantic) connection to another person. The concept of a squish is similar in nature to the idea of a "friend crush". A squish can be towards anyone of any gender and a person may also have many squishes, all of which may be active. Other sources calling squishes aromantic crushes: http://aromantic.wikia.com/wiki/Squish http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=squish And from my understanding this is the thread where the term was originally coined: http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/23290-squish/ So I would imagine this is as official as something like this gets until academia or well known dictionaries like Oxford pick it up. Link to post Share on other sites
Rising Sun Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 Lost, everything you call "attraction" is simply called affection, or even more simply love. Love is what binds families and friends together. Friends love each other, and when they hug, kiss or cuddle it's to comfort and give affection to each other, not because they have a real physical and often limerent pull which is what attraction means. If they were attracted to each other as well, they'd have a more physical relationship based on sensual, romantic or sexual desire rather than just affection. So, of course for alterous people the line is blurred, but it's blurred because attraction is mixed with affection. This is the difference with queerplatonic friendships, which are deep affection because they're based on familial love extended to friends, nothing more, nothing less. The first is ambiguous by nature, the second is not. If you're alterous, no wonder why you feel like there is attraction mixed, but I'm not and when I have a squish, it isn't attraction, it isn't any more attraction than what I feel for a cute kitten ; it's simple affection, loving feelings. That's just common sense. Only zoophiles are attracted to kittens. Attraction is different from love. Mixing both is inaccurate, inappropriate and confusing for everyone around. Link to post Share on other sites
binary suns Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 no, any time someone feels anything for a person that is attraction. "attraction" in the generic way. charisma is attractive. friendliness is attractive. quirkiness is attractive. feeling affection towards someone is attraction. I agree that romantic attraction and sexual attraction are more specific than this. but feeling drawn to a person in some way is attraction, and positive feelings towards them of any kind count as this. attraction is the action or power of evoking interest, pleasure, or liking for someone or something. all positive feelings can be referred to as liking. people like to shorthand attraction to mean romantic and/or sexual attraction, but then most humans are romantic and sexual. attraction applies to a whole lot of things beyond just romance and sex. but for a romantic or sexual person, these feelings that aren't necessarily romantic or sexual, are actually seeming to them to be a key part of their romantic and/or sexual emotions. Link to post Share on other sites
Rising Sun Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 No. Just no. You're confusing attraction and love. Love can exist without attraction (family), and attraction exists without love as well (crush, sexual desire). Link to post Share on other sites
binary suns Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 you're confusing attraction and romantic attraction... Link to post Share on other sites
Rising Sun Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 No, as I also include sexual, sensual and aesthetic. I just separate all these kinds of attraction from love. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 Allright, Im going to go ahead and lock this topic for now.Consider this a "Play nice" post and a friendly reminder that making judgements about the validity of someones (a)sexuality/(a)romanticism is not tolerated on Aven. Please refrain from doing so and please try to respect eachothers opinion(s) when discussing a certain topic with eachother. Thank you. Jayce A/romantic orientations moderator. Link to post Share on other sites
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