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Title for sexuals who don't desire penetrative sex


Star Bit

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AwkwardGuy, as has been said this is not a dating site, so the way I look at it having those parameters embedded or searchable is unnecessary.

If you're looking to meet up there is a meet up thread.

If you want to see how they define themselves, their profiles allow them to add as much or as little detail as they want.

If you're looking for people who identify like you, then you can make a thread. I understand what you're trying to say, but it doesn't seem necessary considering the focus of the site.

I did not suggest any of this for the purpose of dating. I'm not looking for dates here. I'm only suggesting that a redesign of the profile page would be helpful to this community, and that other sites have had great results with what I've suggested. However, nobody agrees, nobody wants to understand my reasoning, and nobody wants any changes, so I won't suggest anything regarding site changes anymore.

My intentions have been very much misunderstood and unfairly judged here.

Good luck

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People will describe themselves in whatever detail they wish. If they don't wish any detail, they needn't include it. As many above have said, if you're curious or confused, then ask someone; don't expect to learn everything about that person from their profile. It really does sound like you want AVEN to be a dating site.

No, this is not about dating. Once again, I referred to the dating sites only as a reference to design changes I was suggesting, and not to turn this site into a dating site. My only interest here is exploring asexuality and being able to have insightful conversations about asexuality.

It seems bizarre to me how severely my posts were taken out of context. I've even given examples of prompts for specific information that could be placed on the profile page to elicit more information about a person's asexuality. I don't understand why everyone seems so offended and confused by my suggestions, which were only suggestions.

I'm not upset about my suggestions not being liked. I'm upset because I'm being portrayed as a self-centered narcissist who is trying to change the site for his own benefit. How about reading the entire body of my posts before judging me like that?

Maybe I've unintentionally triggered a fear, because i mentioned dating sites, which maybe is a sore spot for some reason. I cannot think of any other reason why everyone seems so offended and horrified by my suggestions. I simply suggested that encouraging members to provide more information about their asexuality would be very useful here.

I never suggested that we learn everything about a person from their profile. I never suggested that members be forced to provide a certain amount of detail. My suggestion was that the profile page be redesigned to encourage more information about a person's asexuality from different perspectives, and in a fun and interesting way. Yes, I understand that not everyone wants to give much detail. However, from what I've observed on many social networks, many people like to describe themselves with some depth, especially when provided with a user friendly way to do so.

Yes, of course I would contact someone if I wanted more information or I was confused. I am not debating that. One of my motivations for suggesting a redesign of the profile page, is that there is not enough information on the profiles to generate curiosity, and as a result, interaction is not encouraged enough from the profiles. To be honest, there is usually not enough information on the profiles to even confuse me. I would settle for being confused, just so I have questions to ask!

Several members, including you, are preaching that I contact people directly if I'm confused. Well, everyone seems confused about my suggestions, but yet nobody has attempted to contact me to discuss it. Nobody has even asked me to clarify what I mean. Everyone is making assumptions instead of asking me questions. As a result, I've been completely misrepresented and judged here. I feel slandered.
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As i said, orientation is technically right against anything. So out of technicality mentioning libidoist/non-libidoist or sex-repulsion and the like is valid.

Yes, orientation can refer to anything, and that is how it is being used on this site. For whatever reason, some members believe it is only being used to refer to gender or gender preference. That is clearly not the case.

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Just to end this quickly, hopefully, there is only so much that we can change about profile pages on AVEN. The software is IPB's not ours, and it is limited in some ways. Anyone can write as much as they want in the "About Me" section. Finally, if this doesn't answer people's questions/suggestions, I would advise to bring the matter to Site Comments, as it does not belong in this thread.

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However 'creating' a specific "foot fetishist sexual orientation" is unneccessary because the framework already exists by which he can identify. He's a gray-ace with a foot fetish, by your own description.

My point is that we are splitting hairs, which is making it much too confusing for many members on this site.

Orientation is about who generally you're attracted to. Fetishes are about very specific behaviors, situations and individuals.

Not everyone here defines orientation in the same way, which makes it confusing. Just look at the profiles and you will notice that the Asexuality box includes just about anything and everything from members. Sexuaity and asexuality are too complex to get bogged down in debates about what is a fetish, preference, or orientation. Those are just words that don't in any way capture the complexity and/or diversity of sexuality/asexuality.

If a legitimate community of individuals who share a common experience wish to define themselves, let them. Even if we came up with a label for these individuals here, they would likely disregard it and create their own term in their own community. The asexual community created its label naturally, just as every other commonly recognized sexual minority has done.

I agree

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Just to end this quickly, hopefully, there is only so much that we can change about profile pages on AVEN. The software is IPB's not ours, and it is limited in some ways. Anyone can write as much as they want in the "About Me" section. Finally, if this doesn't answer people's questions/suggestions, I would advise to bring the matter to Site Comments, as it does not belong in this thread.

i guess that software limitations ends the discussion. I'm glad. I'm exhausted from this discussion.

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Alejandrogynous

AwkwardGuy, I think you may be confusing forums and social networking sites. Social networking sites are meant for making connections, like Facebook or dating sites, and they rely on those in-depth profile pages in order for the site's algorithm to connect people together under similar interests. Forums do not work like that. Forums are meant for discussion, and if you want to talk to people of similar feelings/interests, all you have to do (like Ricecream-Man said) is make a thread and let people join. "I feel this way, does anyone else get this too?" threads are used all the time for this. You don't have to private-message people out of the blue with no way of knowing them.

Also, I was not judging you based on your '90 other posts', I am replying to what you've said in this thread so no, nothing is being taken out of context. I don't know you, I only know what you've said here and I disagree so I am stating my opinion just as you are stating yours. Nobody is slandering you. The way you described what you want made it sound like you just don't want to deal with the entire point of this forum (which is the actual forum) and want to skip talking altogether to be able to skim profiles instead. I understand if that is not what you meant, but that is the impression you gave.

As i said, orientation is technically right against anything. So out of technicality mentioning libidoist/non-libidoist or sex-repulsion and the like is valid.

o·ri·en·ta·tion
ˌôrēənˈtāSH(ə)n/
noun
  1. the determination of the relative position of something or someone (especially oneself).
    "the child's surroundings provide clues to help in orientation"
    • the relative physical position or direction of something.
      plural noun: orientations
      "two complex shapes, presented in different orientations"
      synonyms: positioning, location, position, situation, placement, alignment
      "the orientation of the radar station"

Yes, orientation is a word that has many definitions, but in the context of sex and gender discussions, orientation means what gender a person's attraction is oriented toward. To say orientation means many things and include "the relative physical position or direction of something." as an example is like saying asexual also can mean "reproduction by budding" so that definition must be a valid way to interpret our discussion too. Even though obviously it has nothing to do with what we're talking about.

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AwkwardGuy, I think you may be confusing forums and social networking sites. Social networking sites are meant for making connections, like Facebook or dating sites, and they rely on those in-depth profile pages in order for the site's algorithm to connect people together under similar interests. Forums do not work like that. Forums are meant for discussion, and if you want to talk to people of similar feelings/interests, all you have to do (like Ricecream-Man said) is make a thread and let people join. "I feel this way, does anyone else get this too?" threads are used all the time for this. You don't have to private-message people out of the blue with no way of knowing them.

This is splitting hairs way too much. These ultra fine distinctions are just creating more confusion for many members here. Forums and social networks provide many of the same functions today. I was a web developer for many years and I developed both social networks and forums, and there is not much difference between them anymore, other than sites having their own unique designs and setups. Both forums and social networks are built using the same technologies and the same types of databases support them. Many developers use the terms social networks and forums to mean the same thing. The distinction is not relevant anymore. Personally, I don't want to debate this, since it is not relevant here.

I feel like you and others are looking for any little thing to take out of context and pick on, so you can discredit anything I'm saying. The question is why? The other day, another member told me that she feels bullied here everytime she gives an opinion or tries to contribute something. She showed me some of the relevant posts, and she was in fact being insulted and bullied. Now I can understand why she feels this way.

Why not just say that my ideas are interesting, but they are not right for this site, since members like the current way? Are the put downs and insults really necessary?

By the way, I know how to make threads and begin discussions that way. Honestly, I'm not a moron. I've been a very active user of forums/social networks for 20 years. My job was to design them and build them, and my clients were very happy with the results. In fact, I used forums/social networks to interact with a community of other developers, and I wrote articles on the subject. So, I have a lot of knowledge in that area. I'm not bragging, but just letting you know that I'm not the idiot you are portraying me to be.

Someone mentioned in this thread that I shoud have private conversations if I want to share more about the various aspects of asexuality, and that sharing that stuff in public here was not appropriate or necessary. Also, I was told to contact people even if I knew nothing about them. So, that is why I talked about private messages instead of threads.

This thread is getting so confused that I think we should just end the discussion right now. Everything is being taken out of context and mixed up and tossed around, to the point where all truth is being lost. I really don't want to continue with this thread anymore. If you or anyone wants to continue this discussion, then you are welcome to send me a private message. Maybe we can start from the beginning again, so that you will actually understand where I'm coming from and who I am. There are just too many misundertandings in this thread. It is a ruined thread, and nothing productive will come from continuing with it.

Also, I was not judging you based on your '90 other posts', I am replying to what you've said in this thread so no, nothing is being taken out of context. I don't know you, I only know what you've said here and I disagree so I am stating my opinion just as you are stating yours. Nobody is slandering you.

I did not say that you were judging me on my 90 other posts. I suggested that you read my 90+ posts before judging me, instead of pulling bits and pieces of things out of context and then making judgements on them. Yes, most of my posts in this thread were sliced up and taken out of context. I don't mind if people don't agree with me. What I mind is being taken out of context over and over, and being judged on things that I never said or implied.

You said:

The way you described what you want made it sound like you just don't want to deal with the entire point of this forum (which is the actual forum) and want to skip talking altogether to be able to skim profiles instead. I understand if that is not what you meant, but that is the impression you gave.

I understand that I could have worded that better, and that I contributed to the wrong impression in that situation. However, I made that statement after feeling like I was being attacked and insulted post after post here, and so I was already in defensive mode. My wording was not the best, and everyone in this thread already had a completely wrong impression of me, and so that is how that misunderstanding came about. I will take responsibility for contributing to "some" of that particular misunderstanding, but not all of it.

I have a suggestion. In the future, first ask for clarification before saying something that could be taken as an insult. You and others implied that I was a rambling idiot who wanted to change the site for my own benefit only. This is not even a little true. I did feel slandered, since people here were going below the belt and insulting me over things that were not even true. It should have been a friendly exhange of opinions, and nothing more. I realize that we are all relatively anonymous here, but that is not an excuse or justification to talk badly about anyone, especially when you know nothing about them. Respect is important, even if you don't share the same views. Everyone here should have the right to express opinions and offer suggestions, and without being insulted.

I'm fine with my suggestions not being accepted by this community. I've not been here that long, and so I can't say that I completely understand what the majority of members want from this site. If most people are happy describing themselves within a narrow set of broad terminology, then that is fine with me, and I will not try to change that (and couldn't). Initially, I thought that many members would be interested in further exploring the various aspects of their asexuality in more depth. For that reason, I made suggestions that could possibly help elicit more information to share and explore together. That was my only motive. I like being a part of communities and contributing to them, and so that is why I put in my two cents worth.

Anyway, I think this thread needs to end. As the moderators said, this discussion does not belong here. Also, I think that there are too many misunderstandings to continue with this discussion.

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A Member Once Known As tqz

Anyway, I think this thread needs to end. As the moderators said, this discussion does not belong here. Also, I think that there are too many misunderstandings to continue with this discussion.

Actually, that discussion is off topic from this thread. The thread itself ended some time ago when the OP said it was done not long after it got hijacked by this discussion of yours, as the moderators have already pointed out. It's starting to sound like someone is trying to get the last word on the hijacking of this thread. I don't believe there is any defense for hijacking a thread, so the last word on such a hijacking is as pointless as the hijacking.

When I see that there is a new post for this thread, I expect it to be ABOUT this thread, not the hijacking. Could everyone just stop that and consider starting your own threads instead? Um, that's a rhetorical question. That's not meant to be answered here. *sigh* Somehow it probably still won't be understood… :(

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Actually, that discussion is off topic from this thread. The thread itself ended some time ago when the OP said it was done not long after it got hijacked by this discussion of yours, as the moderators have already pointed out. It's starting to sound like someone is trying to get the last word on the hijacking of this thread. I don't believe there is any defense for hijacking a thread, so the last word on such a hijacking is as pointless as the hijacking.

When I see that there is a new post for this thread, I expect it to be ABOUT this thread, not the hijacking. Could everyone just stop that and consider starting your own threads instead? Um, that's a rhetorical question. That's not meant to be answered here. *sigh* Somehow it probably still won't be understood… :(

If certain people would stop with their passive aggressive remarks, then it will end. I've already requested in my previous post that this discussion be terminated, which means no more comments about it here. If anyone feels the need to continue the discussion, then they are welcome to contact me in private.

There is no need for you or anyone to respond here again regarding this discussion, and no need to start a new discussion here about hijacking. If you want to discuss hijacking, then start a new thread about it in the appropriate place, without targeting anyone. It is time to just end this. I don't want to discuss anything related to it anymore. It has been concluded. So, please, no more.

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But you replied, didn't you, instead of leaving it.

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I never said that we need to "super accurately" define our sexual preferences. I referred you to other sites, so you would be able to visuaize what I was talking about.

There really was no need for your insult about me rambling. If you don't understand something I said, then be nice and ask me for clarification. Being nice has many benefits.

Ah, but saying it like it is feels so much better. Especially when the person I'm talking to gets all huffy that they were misunderstood while being vague. Regardless of your reasons for being vague, it doesn't mean you get whiney when you're misunderstood because of it. That's what happens. You're welcome to think your opinion is valid, but it doesn't mean that others can't point out why it's not practical or why they disagree. There seem to be enough other people here telling you why you don't make any sense so I think I'll stop wasting my own time here and do something more productive. Like maybe talking to a wall instead.

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Both of you unneededly replied. And i agree the passive agressive remarks are absolutely unnecessary.

E N D.

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Never mind..I see the report link. It was not showing up previously

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