Leannabean Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 Well, to be clear, I love sex with the right person. I'm perfectly able to orgasm and have a great time while I'm with my (recent) ex-partner. I can't imagine feeling the same with anyone else, and I've never experienced sexual attraction and yet if he puts the time in I'm happy to do it. I'm not even really attracted to him - it's more like, we were together for so long, he knows exactly which places on my body are sensitive & will turn me on. I've had friends I've talked about it with compare it to driving a car. "Normal" people who are sexually attracted to others (I'm sorry, I don't know the actual term) can just get in their car, turn the key, go. Whereas I've got to put the keys in the ignition, hold down the gas and push the car up a hill. Either way it ends the same. While we were together we were having sex most every night, and now we've been split for six months or so and I am still not experiencing any need or want for sex. Apart from when I miss him, and then it's only cause I know if I slept with him he'd stay the night and cuddle, talk etc. Anyone else feel this way? Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 There are many sexual people who can't fuck just anyone and enjoy it. They *need* to be with someone they know well, and trust etc. And 'attraction' (if we are defining that as wanting to fuck someone based on qualities in their appearance, which many people on AVEN do) really is a meaningless term because many sexual people don't experience that either. Some sexual people have sex just because they love sex, some sexual people desire sex only with someone they love (regardless of looks.. sexual people can fall in love with personality and not give two hoots about aesthetics) and yeah there are some who look at people and want to fuck them based on appearance, but certainly not all. Sexual people have and love sex with people they have a close bond with too, and that can have nothing to do with ''attraction'' .. it's just about enjoying sex (a lot) with the person they love. If you absolutely don't need, desire, want, or think about sex outside of a relationship, but do desire sex with a certain someone when you develop a deep emotional bond with them, then that would be demisexual. In the relationship, if you absolutely never had sex and would have been absolutely fine with it, only gave it because he wanted it and wouldn't have been sad or missed it or anything if he never wanted it again, that would still fall under asexuality (sounds like this is how you were saying you feel.. never ''desire'' the sex, but can enjoy it with the right person if that person goes to the effort to initiate etc?) Just wanted point all that out because there are a lot of people here (not saying you are, just, there are many) who think sexuals are pretty much these shallow horny beasts that can look at anyone the think are attractive and want to fuck them, and be able to enjoy that sex based only on appearance. It's nothing like that at all for many sexuals. For some yes, but many? no. Link to post Share on other sites
Unlabeled Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 Well, to be clear, I love sex with the right person. I'm perfectly able to orgasm and have a great time while I'm with my (recent) ex-partner. I can't imagine feeling the same with anyone else, and I've never experienced sexual attraction and yet if he puts the time in I'm happy to do it. I'm not even really attracted to him - it's more like, we were together for so long, he knows exactly which places on my body are sensitive & will turn me on. I've had friends I've talked about it with compare it to driving a car. "Normal" people who are sexually attracted to others (I'm sorry, I don't know the actual term) can just get in their car, turn the key, go. Whereas I've got to put the keys in the ignition, hold down the gas and push the car up a hill. Either way it ends the same. While we were together we were having sex most every night, and now we've been split for six months or so and I am still not experiencing any need or want for sex. Apart from when I miss him, and then it's only cause I know if I slept with him he'd stay the night and cuddle, talk etc. Anyone else feel this way? Had a gf a dozen or so years ago. When we spun in it took me over 3 years to where I wasn't changing the channel when people got affectionate and lovey-dovey, and 5 years before I could even try finding someone new. We recover at different rates. But it doesn't mean we're this thing or that thing so much as process change and adapt at different rates. Link to post Share on other sites
MeMyselfAndI Posted July 2, 2016 Share Posted July 2, 2016 I'm ace, and I love sex That's just like I'm Afro American who is white and was born and lives in Australia. We can be whatever we want, even if it's contradictory and doesn't even make any sense. Next week, I'm going to be a Lancaster bomber! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
henshin Posted July 2, 2016 Share Posted July 2, 2016 Well, to be clear, I love sex with the right person. I'm perfectly able to orgasm and have a great time while I'm with my (recent) ex-partner. I can't imagine feeling the same with anyone else, and I've never experienced sexual attraction and yet if he puts the time in I'm happy to do it. I'm not even really attracted to him - it's more like, we were together for so long, he knows exactly which places on my body are sensitive & will turn me on. I've had friends I've talked about it with compare it to driving a car. "Normal" people who are sexually attracted to others (I'm sorry, I don't know the actual term) can just get in their car, turn the key, go. Whereas I've got to put the keys in the ignition, hold down the gas and push the car up a hill. Either way it ends the same. While we were together we were having sex most every night, and now we've been split for six months or so and I am still not experiencing any need or want for sex. Apart from when I miss him, and then it's only cause I know if I slept with him he'd stay the night and cuddle, talk etc. Anyone else feel this way? So why have you come to the conclusion that you're asexual, out of interest? Pretty much every asexual person I've heard talk about sex (including myself) don't enjoy sex or want it for our own reasons. Link to post Share on other sites
binary suns Posted July 5, 2016 Share Posted July 5, 2016 I wouldn't say I love sex, in fact most cases I'm kind of repulsed by it. but there have been nights when I was sexually active with my (now ex) partner, that were pretty good, I'd say. It's pretty clear to me from my experiences that there's a significant difference from functionally stimulating the parts in a great way, and a person who experience sexual attraction and desire. a lot of vocal people on this site don't believe that difference exists... ignore them <_< Link to post Share on other sites
chimaera Posted July 5, 2016 Share Posted July 5, 2016 Sorry for going off-topic... That's just like I'm Afro American who is white and was born and lives in Australia. There are people who identify as trans-racial. No joke. I read an article about a lady who claims to be trans-black despite being born to white parents. Apparently, anything is possible. ;) Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted July 5, 2016 Share Posted July 5, 2016 Just pointing out that this thread is necro'ed. The OP was made almost a year ago, by a user with one single post... so I doubt they're even reading this. Link to post Share on other sites
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