Losange Posted July 21, 2015 Share Posted July 21, 2015 Until recently, I thought I had experienced aesthetic attraction as I've found some people pretty/beautiful. However I've just read aesthetic attraction was something like "I want to look at this person" and like you were drawn to them based on their look. I've rarely felt like it, most of the time I don't like looking at people at all, even at those I find attractive. Am I the only one who feel this way? Is this some kind of aesthetism-adverse? I don't know if it's related but I hate looking at people's face (except at the ones of the quite rare people I did feel aesthically attracted to). It's not just that it feels too personal (though it does) but it's also that I'm a bit disgusted by it, I don't know why... Am I the only one? Do you have any idea what it means? Link to post Share on other sites
Dizzard Posted July 21, 2015 Share Posted July 21, 2015 I kind of feel this way too. I think my aesthetic attraction might not be that strong, because usually I have to be consciously thinking about evaluating how people look before I pay any attention. I'm not even sure if I'm attracted in any way either, it's more like I'm analyzing their face rather than being attracted to it. I don't want or feel a need to stare at them. (maybe that's just been exaggerated somewhat though?) I just figured aesthetic attraction was the ability to discern what looks nice, not some kind of pull. I do like looking at cute things and beautiful paintings sometimes, but again I wouldn't stick around looking at them for very long. Some other input on this would be really interesting. Link to post Share on other sites
Philip027 Posted July 21, 2015 Share Posted July 21, 2015 You are right; attraction should mean that you are literally *drawn* to someone in some way (hence the name) It may be that what you have is more on the lines of aesthetic recognition, rather than attraction. Link to post Share on other sites
Anthracite_Impreza Posted July 21, 2015 Share Posted July 21, 2015 I don't have aesthetic attraction to people at all, hardly even acknowledge their looks. I don't like looking at faces either, can't make eye contact, but that's more vaguely autistic spectrum-y/anxiety related than anything else. I wouldn't say I'm disgusted, just... I don't know. When anyone looks at me my head drops to the floor (not literally of course, that would be highly unfortunate D: ). Link to post Share on other sites
dandelionfluff Posted July 22, 2015 Share Posted July 22, 2015 Can't we just say we find someone good looking and call it a day? Reading all of these descriptions of aesthetic attraction confuses me. Aesthetic recognition? I've never heard of that before. Link to post Share on other sites
Sir_Lord_Brit Posted July 22, 2015 Share Posted July 22, 2015 By my understanding, aesthetic attraction is like looking at a really nice artwork. Is it an incredible artwork? Yes. Do you want to have sex with it? Probably not. Link to post Share on other sites
Tarfeather Posted July 22, 2015 Share Posted July 22, 2015 If we defined aesthetic attraction this way, I would feel aesthetic attraction for men also. I don't think that's what the term is supposed to mean. Link to post Share on other sites
Losange Posted July 22, 2015 Author Share Posted July 22, 2015 You are right; attraction should mean that you are literally *drawn* to someone in some way (hence the name) It may be that what you have is more on the lines of aesthetic recognition, rather than attraction. That's interesting! :) I don't like looking at faces either, can't make eye contact, but that's more vaguely autistic spectrum-y/anxiety related than anything else. Does that mean everyone who doesn't like looking at people face and doesn't suffer from anxiety is on the autistic spectrum? If we defined aesthetic attraction this way, I would feel aesthetic attraction for men also. I don't think that's what the term is supposed to mean. What do you think it means? Link to post Share on other sites
SkyWorld Posted July 22, 2015 Share Posted July 22, 2015 Yeah... there's a difference aesthetic appreciation and aesthetic attraction, since not necessarily everyone experiences aesthetic attraction. With aesthetic appreciation, it's more like... you can see how someone could be aesthetically pleasing, but you don't really pay much attention to them and just move on. With aesthetic attraction, there's more of that drawn feeling, an "eye-catcher". Oh, and on a modly note: moving this thread to the Romantic and Aromantic Orientations forum. SkyWorld Asexual Q&A Co-Mod Link to post Share on other sites
Philip027 Posted July 22, 2015 Share Posted July 22, 2015 Can't we just say we find someone good looking and call it a day? We would be able to, but unfortunately some people will hear that and will then respond "oh, that must mean you're not asexual!" Therefore, distinctions must be made. :/ Link to post Share on other sites
Rising Sun Posted July 22, 2015 Share Posted July 22, 2015 I have aesthetic appreciation for sure, but it's definitely not attraction. I recognize when people look beautiful, and I can feel some admiration for how they take care of their body at best, or even some jealousy ("I would like so much to look like her"), but I don't find them attractive in any way. On the contrary, I can find somebody looks unattractive, but my aesthetic attraction categories with random people are only "ordinary" and "unattractive". I find someone truly aesthetically attractive only when I'm already in love with him. It happened only twice in my 30 years of life and started quite late... Link to post Share on other sites
Losange Posted July 22, 2015 Author Share Posted July 22, 2015 my aesthetic attraction categories with random people are only "ordinary" and "unattractive". I know what you mean, I find most people ordinary too. There are some unattractive and attractive as well, but I rarely feel an attraction toward the last one (it just happened twice). Link to post Share on other sites
Archived Posted July 22, 2015 Share Posted July 22, 2015 Well, when you look at the definition of attraction, it's something that evokes interest, pleasure, or a liking to someone/something. I feel like aesthetic attraction is less of "I'm drawn to that someone/something" and more like you see them/it and think "Niceee". I don't know if people really feel 'drawn' to someone who's attractive, but they know they're attractive. Link to post Share on other sites
dandelionfluff Posted July 22, 2015 Share Posted July 22, 2015 Can't we just say we find someone good looking and call it a day? We would be able to, but unfortunately some people will hear that and will then respond "oh, that must mean you're not asexual!" Therefore, distinctions must be made. :/ That's pretty dumb in my opinion. "I find that person good looking" "You must not be asexual!" Lol that makes no sense... Link to post Share on other sites
Tarfeather Posted July 22, 2015 Share Posted July 22, 2015 With aesthetic appreciation, it's more like... you can see how someone could be aesthetically pleasing, but you don't really pay much attention to them and just move on. Not necessarily. Sometimes I find a guy really attractive looking and I'll just keep staring at him. Not because I feel attracted toward them/their appearance, but because I want to figure out for myself why I find him so attractive. There are so many ways to feel strongly about something or someone that aren't necessarily related to "attraction". Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted July 22, 2015 Share Posted July 22, 2015 Well, when you look at the definition of attraction, it's something that evokes interest, pleasure, or a liking to someone/something. I feel like aesthetic attraction is less of "I'm drawn to that someone/something" and more like you see them/it and think "Niceee". I don't know if people really feel 'drawn' to someone who's attractive, but they know they're attractive. Some people are drawn to attractive people. I would call that attraction. Whether or not you want to act on said attraction with sex is a different question, but being drawn = attraction. "Aesthetic appreciation" is, I'm pretty sure, just having eyes and using them. This is a term that needn't exist. Link to post Share on other sites
Anthracite_Impreza Posted July 22, 2015 Share Posted July 22, 2015 I don't like looking at faces either, can't make eye contact, but that's more vaguely autistic spectrum-y/anxiety related than anything else. Does that mean everyone who doesn't like looking at people face and doesn't suffer from anxiety is on the autistic spectrum? No, but it is one of the main indicators. Link to post Share on other sites
Losange Posted July 23, 2015 Author Share Posted July 23, 2015 "Aesthetic appreciation" is, I'm pretty sure, just having eyes and using them. This is a term that needn't exist. I don't know... I'm sure there are people won't don't have any "aesthetic appreciation" for anybody... No, but it is one of the main indicators. I wonder, not for the first time if I might be on it now... Link to post Share on other sites
Per Aspera Ad Astra Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 Well, when you look at the definition of attraction, it's something that evokes interest, pleasure, or a liking to someone/something. I feel like aesthetic attraction is less of "I'm drawn to that someone/something" and more like you see them/it and think "Niceee". I don't know if people really feel 'drawn' to someone who's attractive, but they know they're attractive. I can assure you that people can feel drawn to someone whom they think is beautiful. I do. When I find someone beautiful, I feel compelled to look at them. It's not just that I want to, it's that part of me has to. It's like when I see a beautiful sunset: it's had for me to keep my eyes off of it. Well, sometimes, it's the same for people. Now, just because I experience this does not mean that I want to get to know them, or befriend them, or have sex with them. I just want/need to look at them because beautiful things have that effect on me. There's something about beauty that moves me, that makes me feel good. So I feel compelled to look at beautiful things. Link to post Share on other sites
Archived Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 Well, when you look at the definition of attraction, it's something that evokes interest, pleasure, or a liking to someone/something. I feel like aesthetic attraction is less of "I'm drawn to that someone/something" and more like you see them/it and think "Niceee". I don't know if people really feel 'drawn' to someone who's attractive, but they know they're attractive. I can assure you that people can feel drawn to someone whom they think is beautiful. I do. When I find someone beautiful, I feel compelled to look at them. It's not just that I want to, it's that part of me has to. It's like when I see a beautiful sunset: it's had for me to keep my eyes off of it. Well, sometimes, it's the same for people. Now, just because I experience this does not mean that I want to get to know them, or befriend them, or have sex with them. I just want/need to look at them because beautiful things have that effect on me. There's something about beauty that moves me, that makes me feel good. So I feel compelled to look at beautiful things. Yeah, I wouldn't really want to get to know someone based on their looks. I guess I said it weirdly, but it's less so being attracted to them as a person, just attracted to their face or any other physical thing about them. Link to post Share on other sites
Per Aspera Ad Astra Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 Well, when you look at the definition of attraction, it's something that evokes interest, pleasure, or a liking to someone/something. I feel like aesthetic attraction is less of "I'm drawn to that someone/something" and more like you see them/it and think "Niceee". I don't know if people really feel 'drawn' to someone who's attractive, but they know they're attractive. I can assure you that people can feel drawn to someone whom they think is beautiful. I do. When I find someone beautiful, I feel compelled to look at them. It's not just that I want to, it's that part of me has to. It's like when I see a beautiful sunset: it's had for me to keep my eyes off of it. Well, sometimes, it's the same for people. Now, just because I experience this does not mean that I want to get to know them, or befriend them, or have sex with them. I just want/need to look at them because beautiful things have that effect on me. There's something about beauty that moves me, that makes me feel good. So I feel compelled to look at beautiful things. Yeah, I wouldn't really want to get to know someone based on their looks. I guess I said it weirdly, but it's less so being attracted to them as a person, just attracted to their face or any other physical thing about them. I'm sorry, I didn't understand it like that ^_^ Yeah, how I personally feel about them and how I feel about the way they look aren't related at all. That would make me a very shallow person if these two things were related in my mind >.> Link to post Share on other sites
Archived Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 Well, when you look at the definition of attraction, it's something that evokes interest, pleasure, or a liking to someone/something. I feel like aesthetic attraction is less of "I'm drawn to that someone/something" and more like you see them/it and think "Niceee". I don't know if people really feel 'drawn' to someone who's attractive, but they know they're attractive. I can assure you that people can feel drawn to someone whom they think is beautiful. I do. When I find someone beautiful, I feel compelled to look at them. It's not just that I want to, it's that part of me has to. It's like when I see a beautiful sunset: it's had for me to keep my eyes off of it. Well, sometimes, it's the same for people. Now, just because I experience this does not mean that I want to get to know them, or befriend them, or have sex with them. I just want/need to look at them because beautiful things have that effect on me. There's something about beauty that moves me, that makes me feel good. So I feel compelled to look at beautiful things. Yeah, I wouldn't really want to get to know someone based on their looks. I guess I said it weirdly, but it's less so being attracted to them as a person, just attracted to their face or any other physical thing about them. I'm sorry, I didn't understand it like that ^_^ Yeah, how I personally feel about them and how I feel about the way they look aren't related at all. That would make me a very shallow person if these two things were related in my mind >.> It's ok. Haha, this '>.>' looks funny to me for some reason. The whole concept of shallowness is kind of weird to me. It's hard for me to believe that people are actually shallow. Link to post Share on other sites
Anthracite_Impreza Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 "Aesthetic appreciation" is, I'm pretty sure, just having eyes and using them. This is a term that needn't exist. I don't know... I'm sure there are people won't don't have any "aesthetic appreciation" for anybody... No, but it is one of the main indicators. I wonder, not for the first time if I might be on it now... Yeah I'm one of the non aesthetic appreciators. I'll see a person others drool over or find pretty and I'm just like 'Oh, another meatbag. Yawn.' Yeah I'm with you on that. Link to post Share on other sites
Philip027 Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 That's pretty dumb in my opinion. "I find that person good looking" "You must not be asexual!" Lol that makes no sense... Unfortunately, the world is pretty ignorant and still tends to lump all sorts of attractions into one. Guys can barely admit to other guys being physically attractive without having onlookers suspect them of being gay. Link to post Share on other sites
Losange Posted July 24, 2015 Author Share Posted July 24, 2015 Yeah, I wouldn't really want to get to know someone based on their looks. I guess I said it weirdly, but it's less so being attracted to them as a person, just attracted to their face or any other physical thing about them. Well, isn't that what we're discussing here? Aesthetic attraction has nothing to do with the personality of a person, right? "Aesthetic appreciation" is, I'm pretty sure, just having eyes and using them. This is a term that needn't exist. I don't know... I'm sure there are people won't don't have any "aesthetic appreciation" for anybody... No, but it is one of the main indicators. I wonder, not for the first time if I might be on it now... Yeah I'm one of the non aesthetic appreciators. I'll see a person others drool over or find pretty and I'm just like 'Oh, another meatbag. Yawn.' Yeah I'm with you on that. Well, maybe I'm some kind of gray-aesthetic (or graysthetic) kind of person then. Link to post Share on other sites
KendraPM Posted July 25, 2015 Share Posted July 25, 2015 Well, when you look at the definition of attraction, it's something that evokes interest, pleasure, or a liking to someone/something. I feel like aesthetic attraction is less of "I'm drawn to that someone/something" and more like you see them/it and think "Niceee". I don't know if people really feel 'drawn' to someone who's attractive, but they know they're attractive. I can assure you that people can feel drawn to someone whom they think is beautiful. I do. When I find someone beautiful, I feel compelled to look at them. It's not just that I want to, it's that part of me has to. It's like when I see a beautiful sunset: it's had for me to keep my eyes off of it. Well, sometimes, it's the same for people. Now, just because I experience this does not mean that I want to get to know them, or befriend them, or have sex with them. I just want/need to look at them because beautiful things have that effect on me. There's something about beauty that moves me, that makes me feel good. So I feel compelled to look at beautiful things. Same here. When I experience aesthetic attraction it's because I feel an almost compulsion to look at the person. It's harder to not look at them than to look at them. It's not the same as finding someone pretty, becaue I can do that with anyone, whereas I'm aesthtically attracted to almost exclusively women. ("Almost' because out of everyone I've ever seen in the course of my life, I've only experienced aesthetic attraction towards a male twice.) Link to post Share on other sites
KendraPM Posted July 25, 2015 Share Posted July 25, 2015 No, but it is one of the main indicators. I wonder, not for the first time if I might be on it now... If it helps, everyone is technically on the austism spectrum, but people don't usually get the label "autistic" until you reach a certain point. (My mom specializes in working with austistic children.) Link to post Share on other sites
MsAgape Posted July 25, 2015 Share Posted July 25, 2015 I find being aesthetically interested in people a burden these days. Like too much art for me now, time to switch off. ha! Link to post Share on other sites
Losange Posted July 26, 2015 Author Share Posted July 26, 2015 No, but it is one of the main indicators. I wonder, not for the first time if I might be on it now... If it helps, everyone is technically on the austism spectrum, but people don't usually get the label "autistic" until you reach a certain point. (My mom specializes in working with austistic children.) Yes, it does. Thank you, it's interesting. :) Link to post Share on other sites
Lythr Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 Is aesthetic attraction kinda like looking at art? But with real breathing people? Because I sometimes find myself staring at some random person and liking the way they move, their figure or posture. But it's just appreciation, I don't feel the need to go and interact with them or anything. Link to post Share on other sites
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