Romantic feelings for Fictional Characters?

[LonesomeCrow]

I've had crushes on plenty of anime characters, as well as ones from books.

[Homer]

8 hours ago, LLawlietFan1 said:

I don't know if I should let go or not?

You've mentioned a lot of downsides to your feelings, but are there any upsides?

[LLawlietFan1]

I mean I guess it makes me happy thinking about and enjoying him, but it can be torture...

[itsmeelysemarie]

Oh good this thread is back. 

 

After seeing the Aladdin musical recently, I've come to realize I have deep feelings for Genie. The animated one, that is, not the Will Smith one.

[Salmiakki]

@LLawlietFan1 Are there more downsides than upsides? Does it give you more pain than pleasure? Are you suffering more than enjoying it? If yes then I think it'd probably be better to let go. Though I understand that that can be very difficult. 

[CelesteAdAstra]

The question is phrased the wrong way for me. More like, were you ever not in love with a fictional character? Now, that question requires some thought on my side 😅

[MariaWhoKnows]

I don't really know if I've had romantic feelings for fictional characters. 

I've certainty become fascinated by certain characters and made my own characteristics(who is not necessarily myself) and a whole storyline about their relationship. I've done that a million times. 

It really comes down to the definition of romantic attraction. 

I would say that I don't have romantic feelings for fictional characters if the definition is desire for romance with a particular person. 

 

[Minedragon]

On 7/17/2015 at 11:12 PM, ShinyEeveelynn said:

Hi everyone. Buckle up, this is going to be a long one.

I identify as both Pansexual and Demisexual, as well as Panromantic and Demiromantic. I've had a few real life long term relationships, I've had real sex, and I've been in love with real people. In my identity I have no doubt, but I've had this growing concern to do with Fictional Characters.

Ever since I was a kid, I've had feelings for fictional characters. Pretty basic for people to crush on fictional characters, so I hadn't thought anything of it for most of my life. I've come to realize that I experience and process romantic feelings for fictional characters the exact same way I process them for real people. Again, not really a big deal I suppose. I don't find fictional characters attractive or have feelings for them, only after becoming attached to their personality, but it's to the degree that I become attached that makes me uncomfortable. I've only ever told one person about this, but I genuinely fall in love with these people that aren't real. For long periods at a time, like real long term relationships. I find myself emotionally "monogamous" (if you can even call it that) with these fictional people, not being able to "love" more then one at a time. Any time I was in a real life relationship, since I was in love with my partner, I didn't have this problem with fictional characters, and I'm starting to believe the opposite is true as well. That I can't love a real person as long as I'm in love with a fictional person.

My last real life relationship was 4 years or so ago. I haven't been with anyone real since. 3 1/2 years ago I fell in love with a particular fictional character. Sometime in those 3 years, as much as I was upset about admitting it, I came to find that, I hadn't been single all this time because I'm demi and hadn't developed feelings for anyone in my life. It was because I was already in love with someone, and felt like I was taken. Being in love with him didn't get in the way of my real life at all. I went to work, I hung out with friends, spent time with my family, anything anyone else does. I suffer from depression and anxiety, but I don't suffer from anything that disconnects me from reality? I know he isn't real. I didn't get possessive or upset when other's express attraction to him, or for any other character I'm attached to for that matter. (I actually quite enjoy speaking to other people who feel strongly about characters I have feelings for). I know that the actor that plays him is only that, an actor- but I still loved him, even fully understanding he's not real. I still care about him very much. I took joy in finding little ways of connecting with the idea of him, like regularly wearing a necklace identical to one he does for example. I always fantasized about what kind of relationship we'd have if I was in his reality (and if I was the person I'd ideally want to be both physically and lifestyle wise, because well, it's my fantasy, haha.) in depth and detail. I'd sometimes become deeply upset that I could never be with him or even touch him. This wasn't the first time I loved a character, but it certainly was the first time it had hit me so hard. Where I really went to bed at night upset that I couldn't be laying next to him.

Okay, where I am today. Again, I do still care about him very much but it's not like before. If he were real he'd probably be that ex that I was still friends with and would protect with my life, sometimes wonder if I still actively love. My feelings for him changed around last December. All year this year I've continued to be without relationship but now- uh oh. Here comes another character. I'm not going to say I love her like I loved him. I've only been familiar with her for a few months, and I haven't spent as much "time with her" as I had with him when I realized I loved him. I do have those "honey moon", new relationship, feelings for her though. Like, I'm "getting to know her" and it could lead to the "relationship" I had with him.

My feelings are occurring now at a time where I know that this is a thing that happens to me. It's just- a thing, but I hate it. Not because I love fake people, no, because I feel completely alone in it. I feel like I can't say anything about it because I sound like I'm mental. Even writing this is horrifying. Even scarier, I had the thought last night "I wish I could openly call her my girlfriend". It's official. I'm a fucking weirdo. There it is. I can't deny it AT ALL to myself anymore, only hide it. I don't want to like, go on facebook, tick the "in a relationship" box, and scream to everyone "I love this girl!" because lmfao, god knows that would NEVER be an acceptable thing to do. I do wish I had somewhere, or at least one person I could feel comfortable enough talking to about this. To be able to refer to her as my girlfriend to someone without feeling like I'm being seen as a psycho. I've tried looking for others who have the same relationships with fictional characters that I do, but 99% of anyone that says "I love (such and such) so much!" is joking or purposely exaggerating (I guess fangirling would be the way to put it). The one person I told said she was okay with it, but she also said that it was because I haven't "met the right person" yet and am just latching onto these "people" because they're perfect and unrealistic. I can assure you, ha, none of the characters I've ever had feelings for were the mary sue, perfect pants type. It's always the realistically flawed ones, because I guess they mimic someone you could actually potentially meet and it blurs that barrier in my head that says "no you can't love something that doesn't exist silly, lol". I don't know, she wasn't understanding how serious I was being, I suppose.

The very few posts I've found online from people who've said they also fall in love with fictional people, interestingly enough, identified as asexual. I wonder if that has anything to do with it? I don't know, I guess I'm just looking for someone to assure me that I'm not mental, and that there are people out there who understand. If anything, people don't judge me for it. Also, curious, is there a word for this type of attraction? It's not just romantic, it's sexual as well?

Okay okay, that's basically it. Sorry for the essay.

What you just described pretty much sums up my life. For the past year and a bit, I have been with a character, of my own creation and honestly can't let go of him. I have had fictional characters in my head that I talk to for brainstorming and talking about my problems, for years now, and They've become family to me. Im actually demisexual too and The thing that scared me about falling for him was that, it was a COMPLETE ACCIDENT. At the time, I didn't even know what I was feeling at the time and this REALLY set my anxiety off. We didn't know what to do about it, so we kind of just went with it and it just grew more and more solid and intense. What's also scary is that he ended up having a personality that I never intended to give him and didn't understand at the time; MINE. He turned out to be so similar to me that even that scared me. Then recently, since I haven't been able to tell anyone, my physical family have been lowkey (not severely) pressuring me to date one of my friends that I also like, am similar to and trust as much as my characters. My partner wants me to  go with him too, but we've also recently discovered that we try even SLIGHTLY to separate, and it's WAY too painful for either of us to do.

 

I saw your post while googling my issue and just wanted to letyou know that you are NOT ALONE and that you are about as mental as I am. (Ok probably a bit less).

[Diana DeLuna]

Fictional characters make the best friends. The potential for closeness is always there without the inevitability of them popping out of your book, movie, or game and possibly putting the moves on you. Because for me anyway, my safe, squishy character suddenly pressuring me into something I don't want would be every bit as terrifying as a flesh-and-blood person doing the same. My interests always seem to align with nonsexual characters to start with.

Don Quixote de la Mancha!

Horatio from Shakespeare's "Hamlet"! (But not Hamlet himself--that self-absorbed woman-batterer)

Jaques from Shakespeare's "As You Like It"!

Phoebe from "Friends" (until she turned basic like the rest of the basic het-allos on that goddamn show)

 

Then there were the non-imaginary (but just as unavail. because--hello--they're dead) poets and philosophers, like William Blake, Franz Kafka, and Friedrich Nietzsche.

 

Lastly there were imaginary friends:

- At age 22 my imaginary female roommate and I had what I still consider the ideal Queerplatonic Relationship. Until, completely unbidden by my brain narrative, she got a boyfriend and I lost her. Sheesh, who does that to themselves in their own fantasies?

- At age 25 I created my first and last imaginary boyfriend. It didn't last long; my interests turned to something else.

 

Funny how most of my female squishes have been real-life people, but most of the males have been fictional. Not gonna lie--I feel more threatened by men and when I was younger, I often wondered if I was lesbian by default.

[Bluebellstar]

I put other too, on the survey. I don't exactly feel romantic feelings for fictional characters, but I do feel very attached to them, like they're family or very close friends (or at least, what I would expect friends to feel like as I use them for that instead of actually having any). I don't ever actually want to be with them in a romantic relationship (I tend to ship them pretty hard with their significant others). It's like I want to be part of their world.

 

Although, if we're talking historical figures... I might own to having a slight (massive) intellectual crush on Cardinal Richelieu.