Romantic feelings for Fictional Characters?

[DeannaRicker]

Oh yes. A million yeses. I have encountered so many characters where I thought "Damn, why aren't you real? I would date you so hard."

Aaaaaand that's what further solidifies myself as aromantic in my own mind. Yup, would never date anyone. Pretty sure they wouldn't wanna date me.

When I do have feelings for meat people,

"Meat people" I love that..lol...that deserves some cake

Exactly....I've been romantically into more non-meat people then meat people. I think that part really has a lot to do with my a/romantic statues. Although I consider myself to be a mix of grey and quoi/romantic to be specific.

[DeannaRicker]

I'm not really sure what to call my relationship with fictional characters. I guess it's kind of like having really strong OTPs...sort of. I get these adoring feelings of wanting to spend all my time with a character. Sometimes I'll reread sections of books over and over. I don't know if the feelings are romantic (not really sure what that feels like) but the weird thing is that I never want to actually date them and I'll often subconsciously choose a partner for the character and get similar feelings of adoration for them together. I'll even fantasize about them together. The only way I can really describe it is me being attracted to them being attracted to each other.

OMG Thisssss.......I felt this a lot! You took the words right out of my mouth. But I feel this, and the character romance thing. I feel both an equally amount of times.

[DeannaRicker]

Yes! I have felt this all the time. I've been in love with characters more than real people. But I just pushed it off as "fangirling". But there this one character that I've been emotionally attached too ever since I found him which was many yrs ago. There times where he would dominate most of my thoughts. I would daydream about him. I would daydream/fantasies the dates we would be on. In the fantasies we would be reading Hamlet, or a tale of two cities, twain, sherlock holmes, etc. We would play chess or go to a play or listen to classical music. I would play the piano for him ect. Anyways I've never felt these strong feelings for any real person....ever. I honestly thought I was going crazy...or I need to get out more and date real pple. But I'm so glad you brought this up. I should I have know this^^^^ was a hint/proof that I was a/romantic(specifically a mix of quoi and grey).

[MarieIsEatingTacobell]

Yes! I have felt this all the time. I've been in love with characters more than real people. But I just pushed it off as "fangirling". But there this one character that I've been emotionally attached too ever since I found him which was many yrs ago. There times where he would dominate most of my thoughts. I would daydream about him. I would daydream/fantasies the dates we would be on. In the fantasies we would be reading Hamlet, or a tale of two cities, twain, sherlock holmes, etc. We would play chess or go to a play or listen to classical music. I would play the piano for him ect. Anyways I've never felt these strong feelings for any real person....ever. I honestly thought I was going crazy...or I need to get out more and date real pple. But I'm so glad you brought this up. I should I have know this^^^^ was a hint/proof that I was a/romantic(specifically a mix of quoi and grey).

I've been in love with flesh people, but as far as everything else, you're just like me! I thought I had reached beyond fangirl straight into crazy town for awhile there. I would be at work sitting at my desk fantasizing about my boyfriend, being with him, going on dates, or simple things like just talking. I thought, 3 years and I'm still obsessed with this guy. To the point where it hurts me that he's not real. I have a problem. I thought for a second too that I should force myself to date someone else, since I haven't had a flesh relationship in about 4 years now but- it's just not something I want. Thankfully we know now that we're not mental! Well.. I mean, at least not for this, haha.

[Araminta]

All the time. I even used to fall in love with fictional characters only. I'm glad it's not the case anymore because I was afraid I would never fall in love with a real person. Anyway, I wish I could cuddle them and peacefully fall asleep next to them.

However, I'm a bit confused, because I have never been attracted to any woman in real life, but I have already had a few crushes on some female characters. I don't know if I really am heterosexual or not.

I don't have real romantic feelings for a fictional character at the moment. I just have a tiny crush on Krem from Dragon Age Inquisition even though he's just a minor npc.

[Sisky]

I just have a tiny crush on Krem from Dragon Age Inquisition even though he's just a minor npc.

Nothing wrong with minor npcs. They're wonderfully unexplored for the most part.

[shinobivega]

Yeah, I've had my crushes on fictional females. Unfortunately, most of those crushes have been (and continue to be) on fictional females who don't really give a rat's ass about men (like Chun-Li from Street Fighter and Felicia from Darkstalkers). What can I tell you, I never had much luck with women and my luck has hardly been better in the fictional realm.

Which is why I consider the crush I harbor on my own two female OCs to be my best and most fulfilling of crushes. Strong, dominant, intelligent, insanely powerful, and sexy and beautiful....and passionately and madly in love with their submissive boyfriend, como Dios manda, asi 'onda!!

[sindi]

With fictional characters I can occasionally feel attraction that almost borders on sexual (I guess)! Those feelings are very brief and superficial though and I can't even remember what fictional characters I've had crushes on right now. But it's usually some bad guys...

[idekrncidc231]

I personally get a 'crush' on a lot of people, but am coming to realize that it is never actually romantic. I have a strange obsession with white and red and silver hair, long hair #1 and lavender light blue or white eyes. #2 and just get entranced by people with it. Ie: Setzer ff6, Sepheroth ff7, Gaara in Naruto, granted hair tends to be stronger than eyes as I don't like blonds typically if I don't like the personality and don't like Naruto or loud obnoxious people like him (no offence, just not attractive to me) tho I like Naruto's heart and caring for people that is admirable but trying to boast and show off is unattractive to me. -_- another thing that annoyed me about my ex. Anyway. Also personality. I tend to like bad guys who turn good. Ie: Gaara again. Yoko Kurama who was both red head and white haired depending on form ..rrr. But the thing is, tho I imagined romance and even shamefully sex I never really was... Into? It. It's like... I thought it was cute for my oc but not for me. I tend to think others being romantic is cute in stories but not myself even if the personality was that of my liking that I would think is the type of guy I'd like to be with. It's wierd really. I don't quite understand it myself. I've had crushes but always thought they'd be better off with others and not me. I also get crushes when I admire someone. Like Shino from Naruto. He's just plain badass and cool. He loves bugs like I do and is calm, silent and dangerous. I have a crush, but it's more of an admiration of I'd like him as my senpai to teach me bug stuff. I also find silly flirty men to be cute and I get crushes on them all the time, but I think it again is only admiration for now brave they are because I am too nervous to flirt with people same with charming flirty people like... Well I guess... Like Sabastion and Kakashi tho I don't like either of them. Kakashi is ... Just... Hm. Well I like the charm of ....... ....... Wierd... Can't think of any charmers I have a crush on other than those in my dreams and the one boy who kept trying to charm me 12 yrs ago in highschool... *shrugs* anyway. I actually want to be charming like that. But men. Oh... I would say that I also tend to like kuudere and tsundere. My biggest crush ever tho has to be on Poland from Hetalia tho. He is caring and silly and plays dumb not caring what others think or say about him, though he's been through more torment than the other countries for the most part he doesn't whine and oh whoaisme about it but instead cares about his best friend Lithuania who was through hell with Russia. He is shy and girly and silly and just >\\\< meh. I also like Lithuania who is exactly the same as Poland except less extravagant and girly. Also a lot more withdrawn and subdued than Poland, but I LOVE Poland's flair and his want to do silly shiz just to see how people react *cough justlikeme cough* but ye. Even tho I don't like blond hair or green eyes, Poland is still the biggest crush and my greatest fictional admiration i have had. Unless there is someone else who fits his description which I highly doubt. He even crossdresses which I adore.

[moonmagegrl]

I can't believe I've never commented on this but yeah I have quite easily. I've had so many I've lost count. Especially considering I'm Polyamorous (did i spell that right?). Most of my crushes are from video games (Especially Pokemon and Harvest Moon).

[Hermit Advocate]

Yes I have, many times. But I think the reason is because they aren't real, that way I know exactly what is going to happen and therefore don't have to go through all of the annoyingly romantic things that turn me off real people.

[Antihero.]

.

[SkyWorld]

Not sure what one might mean by physical attraction, so I just put other. I might find a fictional character nice looking or may have a squish on them. Romantically? No... not really.

[Grace Barton]

I tend to squish on fictional characters. I adore them, and if they were real people I would love to be around them. I would love to be their friend, to hug them, to listen to their troubles and help them when they're in need. I've mistaken these for crushes in the past, but they're really just my favourite characters.

As for romantic feelings... there is one character who I developed feelings for. I loved everything about the character, from his looks to his personality to everything else. It would make me sad that he was not real and would never be so. I still hold a strong torch for him now, because of what he's meant to me. He, and the show he came from, meant so much to me that it holds an incredibly special place in my heart, and it will always be there.

[Dreamsofemerald]

I was convinced I was gonna marry Goku from Dragonball Z. My 11 year old self practically a novel about it and decided my life's work would be creating a machine that would let me live in cartoons and be with my love and save him from his evil wife. Then it was Malachite from sailor Moon, also I totally was in love with Xena and didn't realise till I was much older.

[binary suns]

I've had squishes for fictional characters, does that count? :3

mostly from tv shows and fire emblem xD

[DesertMirage]

Hi everyone, and apologies if dragging up an older topic isn't allowed on here.

I'm new here as you can probably tell, and to be perfectly honest I'm feeling very confused and nervous right now. The past few months I've begun to suspect I may be somewhere on the spectrum. I'm a young adult who thought I knew my identity, so this has been turning my world upside down recently.

I've had a handful of real life romantic and sexual relationships before, but they've always been fractured. I didn't notice anything was amiss until the past couple of years because the first few were short and not ended by me... but my past two relationships were initiated and ended by me and this was when I began to suspect that I might be on the spectrum. With those two people I was romantically attracted at first, for a couple of months, and that intensity was able to fuel some sexual feelings even though I didn't find either of them sexually attractive. But after a while, the romantic attraction faded, and so too did the sexual attraction. I think mainly because as I knew their personalities better I realised they just weren't a good fit.... I didn't find them romantically attractive after all. That pretty much killed both romantic and any stirrings of sexual attraction. The situation wasn't helped by the fact that... well, I've always found my sexual attraction comes and goes shall we say. Sometimes I feel it, but there can be very long stretches - months - where I experience no sexual attraction whatsoever, and feel no urge or desire to whatsoever. In my two most recent relationships my partners were quite demanding for sexual intimacy, and extremely touchy-feely.... and I feel bad for saying so but I felt repulsed by their overtures. I felt overwhelmed by just the desperate need to be left alone.

And yet at the same time, whilst I mostly just want to be by myself, I do occasionally crave companionship. Someone who will mostly leave me to my own devices, and yet who when I do spend time with will understand me and be there for me in a totally non-physical way. And I think I would like to have children. But of course no one is prepared to help raise a child unless 'a loving relationship in the fullest sense' comes along with it - I tentatively broached the subject with one of my ex-partners, and that was pretty much the response I got.

All this has led me to suspect I may be on the spectrum somewhere... but I'm not sure because (and that's why I post in this topic), I sometimes experience romantic and/or sexual attraction to fictional characters. In fact there's one that I'm attracted to currently. It happens rarely, but it does happen for me, and when it does happen the feelings and attraction I experience is quite intense... moreover those feelings and sensations don't fade in the same way for me as what I experience with real people. I've noticed they can fade if many years have passed and I've moved on to a new one, but it remains quite strong, even for years (current one would be for a year and a half), and the intensity ebbs and flows somewhat but generally stays quite strong.

I've been afraid to come out and talk about this for fear of the reaction I'll get. I'm afraid most people would tell me I'm crazy or living in a fantasy and need to find someone 'real'. I don't even know if this means I'm on the asexual spectrum or not. Sometimes I have wished that I could meet in real life someone with similar looks and personality to my fictional characters - the implication being that there is no doubt in my mind that if only I met the right person I could have a 'full' and 'normal' romantic and sexual relationship. But I suppose I don't really know if that's true unless I actually do manage to meet such a person. I suppose it's possible that the appeal of these fictional characters is that I can operate completely on my terms, in line with the ebb and flow of my attraction - they'll never judge me, or push me, and I can dream up romantic and sexual encounters exactly when I feel okay with it. And yet if you were to ask me, I feel certain that no, it's not that, it's not that they're fictional and could never truly impose upon me. I would probably assert that I've just been unable to find someone in real life I can experience full attraction with.

And so I'm left feeling terribly confused, wondering whether I'm on the asexual spectrum in some way, or if I'm just plain unlucky in love. I need to know. I feel unable to move ahead in my life, unable to decide whether I should start looking for a companion I'm not attracted to but who's prepared to abide by a non-physical non-romantic arrangement, whether I should just force myself into a 'full' relationship with someone I'm not attracted to in order to get the occasional companionship and long-term cooperation I crave, or whether I should simply keep looking in the knowledge that there's got to be someone out there I can be sustainably attracted to. Of course, there's always the option of just deciding to be alone, enjoying my fictional attractions, and perhaps being a single parent at some point - an option that looks more and more appealing for the simple fact that I think I would be content and not stressed out about all of this... and yet there's a part of me that continues to wish that I could meet someone in real life with similar personality and looks to my fictional attractions, there's a part of me that wants to feel that feeling of being so attracted (both romantically and sexually) to someone it's almost painful - that's the intensity I feel sometimes towards certain fictional characters.

Experienced members of the network, I need to ask - am I on the asexual spectrum?

[Phaetion]

Hi everyone, and apologies if dragging up an older topic isn't allowed on here.

I'm new here as you can probably tell, and to be perfectly honest I'm feeling very confused and nervous right now. The past few months I've begun to suspect I may be somewhere on the spectrum. I'm a young adult who thought I knew my identity, so this has been turning my world upside down recently.

I've had a handful of real life romantic and sexual relationships before, but they've always been fractured. I didn't notice anything was amiss until the past couple of years because the first few were short and not ended by me... but my past two relationships were initiated and ended by me and this was when I began to suspect that I might be on the spectrum. With those two people I was romantically attracted at first, for a couple of months, and that intensity was able to fuel some sexual feelings even though I didn't find either of them sexually attractive. But after a while, the romantic attraction faded, and so too did the sexual attraction. I think mainly because as I knew their personalities better I realised they just weren't a good fit.... I didn't find them romantically attractive after all. That pretty much killed both romantic and any stirrings of sexual attraction. The situation wasn't helped by the fact that... well, I've always found my sexual attraction comes and goes shall we say. Sometimes I feel it, but there can be very long stretches - months - where I experience no sexual attraction whatsoever, and feel no urge or desire to whatsoever. In my two most recent relationships my partners were quite demanding for sexual intimacy, and extremely touchy-feely.... and I feel bad for saying so but I felt repulsed by their overtures. I felt overwhelmed by just the desperate need to be left alone.

And yet at the same time, whilst I mostly just want to be by myself, I do occasionally crave companionship. Someone who will mostly leave me to my own devices, and yet who when I do spend time with will understand me and be there for me in a totally non-physical way. And I think I would like to have children. But of course no one is prepared to help raise a child unless 'a loving relationship in the fullest sense' comes along with it - I tentatively broached the subject with one of my ex-partners, and that was pretty much the response I got.

All this has led me to suspect I may be on the spectrum somewhere... but I'm not sure because (and that's why I post in this topic), I sometimes experience romantic and/or sexual attraction to fictional characters. In fact there's one that I'm attracted to currently. It happens rarely, but it does happen for me, and when it does happen the feelings and attraction I experience is quite intense... moreover those feelings and sensations don't fade in the same way for me as what I experience with real people. I've noticed they can fade if many years have passed and I've moved on to a new one, but it remains quite strong, even for years (current one would be for a year and a half), and the intensity ebbs and flows somewhat but generally stays quite strong.

I've been afraid to come out and talk about this for fear of the reaction I'll get. I'm afraid most people would tell me I'm crazy or living in a fantasy and need to find someone 'real'. I don't even know if this means I'm on the asexual spectrum or not. Sometimes I have wished that I could meet in real life someone with similar looks and personality to my fictional characters - the implication being that there is no doubt in my mind that if only I met the right person I could have a 'full' and 'normal' romantic and sexual relationship. But I suppose I don't really know if that's true unless I actually do manage to meet such a person. I suppose it's possible that the appeal of these fictional characters is that I can operate completely on my terms, in line with the ebb and flow of my attraction - they'll never judge me, or push me, and I can dream up romantic and sexual encounters exactly when I feel okay with it. And yet if you were to ask me, I feel certain that no, it's not that, it's not that they're fictional and could never truly impose upon me. I would probably assert that I've just been unable to find someone in real life I can experience full attraction with.

And so I'm left feeling terribly confused, wondering whether I'm on the asexual spectrum in some way, or if I'm just plain unlucky in love. I need to know. I feel unable to move ahead in my life, unable to decide whether I should start looking for a companion I'm not attracted to but who's prepared to abide by a non-physical non-romantic arrangement, whether I should just force myself into a 'full' relationship with someone I'm not attracted to in order to get the occasional companionship and long-term cooperation I crave, or whether I should simply keep looking in the knowledge that there's got to be someone out there I can be sustainably attracted to. Of course, there's always the option of just deciding to be alone, enjoying my fictional attractions, and perhaps being a single parent at some point - an option that looks more and more appealing for the simple fact that I think I would be content and not stressed out about all of this... and yet there's a part of me that continues to wish that I could meet someone in real life with similar personality and looks to my fictional attractions, there's a part of me that wants to feel that feeling of being so attracted (both romantically and sexually) to someone it's almost painful - that's the intensity I feel sometimes towards certain fictional characters.

Experienced members of the network, I need to ask - am I on the asexual spectrum?

To be fair, only you can make that decision. To me, it sounds like you're a demiromantic demisexual, but don't take my word for it.

To be on topic, I've been having this issue as well. I'm currently (re)writing a book I've been writing for nearly 2 years (almost there until the editing begins), and I fell madly in love with a character I created. It's pushing me away from a real relationship, perhaps because I've grown out-of-touch with reality. I'm in a weird place right now with no way to get out of there.

Now I'll probably feel a bit bad about responding to a necro'd post when this is my first time on here in what felt like 500 years.

[Guest]

I can sort of feel attraction to characters, if thinking from the point of view of their significant other--or if they don't have one canonically, whoever I ship them with.

But for myself, I just have a strong admiration and love for them, without desiring anything in return. I think I'm incapable of feeling attraction where reciprocation isn't possible.

[Deebee]

Personally no, I don't experience romantic feelings for fictional characters. However, I would say that sometimes I admire characters for things that I'd probably find attractive in a real person. So, sorta.

[Podsnap]

As a teenager I fell madly in love with all of the characters in S.E. Hinton's The Outsiders. I remember feeling almost like I wanted to cry because the boys in the book were fake and I couldn't ever really meet them. For a while I slept with my copy of the novel under my pillow. ^_^

[WhenSummersGone]

Yes, I have for at least a couple. Other than that it's more celebrities than made up characters even most ones played by actors.

[- - -]

sort of but i dont think it counts as a "character"

(but i did play the game twice to "be with" the "character" again)

[Yinlotus93]

All my life. Even managed to fall in love with a fictional character when I was younger. (and felt strongly for them for years after too) Once I get to really know their emotions and personality, the extent to which I may romantically feel for them will vary. sometimes just a squish, others, like i said, more serious.

[Mychemicalqpr]

I would say I have so many fictional crushes its ridiculous, but I've actually seen people who are worse. Being perfectly honest, my first crush was Wolf from Star Fox, which led to a bad fanfiction. Tharja from Fire Emblem was my first female fictional crush. Right now I'm in love with Crowley from Supernatural, Ghirahim from Legend of Zelda, Jakob and Azura from Fire Emblem, an OC, and I think I'm falling for Snow White from Once upon a Time.

I do also get obsessed with OTPs/OT3s, sometimes while being in love with the characters involved, sometimes not.

It doesn't feel too painful though, that they aren't real. I am content enough writing fanfic, though I perhaps spend too much time and energy on that hobby.

[Mychemicalqpr]

I would say I have so many fictional crushes its ridiculous, but I've actually seen people who are worse. Being perfectly honest, my first crush was Wolf from Star Fox, which led to a bad fanfiction. Tharja from Fire Emblem was my first female fictional crush. Right now I'm in love with Crowley from Supernatural, Ghirahim from Legend of Zelda, Jakob and Azura from Fire Emblem, an OC, and I think I'm falling for Snow White from Once upon a Time.

I do also get obsessed with OTPs/OT3s, sometimes while being in love with the characters involved, sometimes not.

It doesn't feel too painful though, that they aren't real. I am content enough writing fanfic, though I perhaps spend too much time and energy on that hobby.

[UnicornLady]

I can relate to this completely: fictional and historical characters, male and female. (So I'm bi-romantic with them.) There's a strong hurt/comfort element with me. I want to rescue characters whom the original authors are callous enough to kill off and repair them.

There are particular ones I've carried around in my head for decades. One of my all-time favourites I first read about in my teens. I'm now in my 50s, and still love him to the point I wear fandom t-shirts I had printed. In this case, part of it was an element of self-recognition. He is, I now realise, patently on the autistic spectrum: my diagnosis came late (last year), but I was drawn to one of 'my own kind'.

And yes, i write fanfic, and I also have lockets/brooches with various of my pet characters in.

[NerotheReaper]

Well people like fiction characters (anime as well) since these characters are made to be liked. They are what an ideal crush or friend is like, I don't think I have ever felt attraction or feelings for a fictional character. I do however know this is not uncommon, and what you are feeling is okay. Long as you are aware it is just a character but doesn't mean you can't like them.

[=NolePtr]

Feelings as in cried when a certain character just so happened to expire?

I'm not the emotional type, but Angel Beats, Blue Exorcist (The whole brotherly love thing... it hit a nerve), and a book The Midnighter's ending (TOTAL SHIT. DON'T READ THE EPILOGUE)

I've had squishes on many characters before.... if that counts for anything

[IceKitsune]

I've had crushes on some fictional characters but never anything too serious. I think it might be because they were safe for me to fantasize about.