Romantic feelings for Fictional Characters?

[MarieIsEatingTacobell]

oh yes, yes, yes - definately yes!

I have had numerous crushes and a couple of more seriously crushes towards fictional characters. It dosen't help that I am a roleplayer and a fanfiction writer/reader, where some of my crushes and "fantasies" (asexual here) is written down.

Shoot me and call me crazy but lately I have had a crush on Severus Snape (always knew he was on the good side)

Oof, I wish I was a good enough writer to do Rp/Fan fiction. A friend wrote me a one shot fic of me and my ex, it was the nicest thing anyone has done for me in awhile, haha.

Snape is popular with the ladies in the fandom, no shock there!

[dreamfae]

Newbie who just found this thread jumping in!

I consider myself fictoromantic too. I've always connected with my favorite books on a deep level, and there's a long list of characters I have crushes on. For me, though, it's never been about wanting to be with them myself. They're usually in love with another character, and I don't want to break that up. The only way I'd want to be with them is if I was the character who's the other half of the couple. I suppose it's like the "couple squishes" a few people here have talked about.

To be honest, I never really thought of it as strange - I just saw it as the same sort of fictional crush that plenty of "ordinary" people (whatever that means) have, even if I probably have more than most. I don't focus on one character at a time, but have a number of them who sort of take turns being at the front of my mind, depending on how recently I've re-read their book. When I think about them, it's usually replaying scenes from the book and thinking, "Oh, yes, he's great in that bit - oh, I love how he does that - ha, that's just like him!" If I'm talking about the book with someone else who's read it, I have to make a conscious effort not to constantly bring up my particular character, because it gets embarrassing after a while.

Like several of the other people in this thread, I'm lithromantic, and I definitely think the two things go together. I often admire real-life guys from a distance, but I'd really rather they stayed at a distance, and with fictional characters that's a given. My admiration tends to be largely aesthetic, and a lot of times it's because he has some feature (body type, hair, etc.) that reminds me of a particular fictional character.

[LeftyGreenMario]

I think the most intense attraction I've felt for a fictional character is my squish on Mario. I always play as him, I always make him my avatar and part of my usernames, and I sometimes like to go by "Mario" rather than my real name. I do say that Mario isn't the most attractive video game character in the planet, but he's a lovable cartoon character.

[WalkOnTheSun]

I've had 'crushes' on fictional characters ever since I was introduced to video-games and anime, I was pretty young. There was this one game character I had a crush on for like a year solid, I ended up writing all these silly romantic fan-fictions and making cute little drawings. Ahh, still have love that character, too.

Also, to be completely honest, I become more attached to some fictional characters than to real people. I guess it's annoying once I accept that they are in fact fictional, but I can't change how I am. So glad there are more people in the world who form 'crushes' on fictional characters. ^_^

[Robin L]

I am attracted to some Pokemon.....ok I am weird.

Anyway, I don't think it's strictly an asexual thing, but maybe asexuals focus on it more because they are attracted to less people in general.

[Darya-Kuryakin]

I just wanted to post here because this answered so many questions for me and cleared up a lot - thank you so much!!

I've always become incredibly attached to certain characters - never romantically or physically, but I would always wish them to be a close friend. I think 'squish' is the correct term? I admire their intelligence, their manners, their personality to a point....But I've learnt through bad experiences not to share how much these characters really mean to me, and have always been told that one day someone would come and I would love them - but I've never thought so. At first, it was just because I didn't think it possible that I would ever be able to trust someone and that no one would have the patience to win me over; but ever since hearing of 'asexual', I think it is impossible that I shall ever be ready. However, it didn't seem right alone.

Then I read this. First, it was comforting and reassuring (if those be the right words - pardon me, I have trouble expressing myself clearly to others at times....) to even know that others were the same in this area - to know that it's not just me and my isolation. And then, 'squish' kept being mentioned and I looked up 'aromanticism', and it made sense. So, I would say with eighty-five percent certainty that I know what I am, and I just wanted to thank you for starting this post for it helped me immensely.

I'm not sure if that made sense, bu there it is........ Pardon me if this is innappropriate.

[El-not-so-ace]

I definitely had crushes on fictional characters and some crushes were consistent throughout the years! One character, I saw the movie after a break of about 3-4 years after having watched the movie on a weekly or bi-monthly basis... And I blushed! Haha, kind of like remembering or seeing a crush from many years ago. :P

Something about fictional characters gives me a sense of comfort since it's a controllable situation. Real people, you can never guess how they'll react or what they'll say other than what you might try to guess that they could say or do. The character can be as sappy or as amazing as you think about them, depending on their character traits too, of course. :) Plus, most of my characters end up being more asexual than not or being "respectable" towards me so I don't have to do anything that I might feel uncomfortable with.

I agree with what some said. If it helps you out in any way, why not? :) If anything, you can at least share stuff with the people here to get it out of your system. It's not fun to always keep information in you.

[Kuebiko]

Not "feelings for" the character, per se, but I have this intense need to be in their world, to talk to them, to observe their actions and mannerisms and to interact with the characters and their world. I'm extremely curious as to what living in that universe is like and I think that just extends to being curious about the characters.

[featherliterature]

What's ironic for me is that even I, myself am not sure about it. Like for example, I totally ship America and England from Hetalia but I can't decide if I have a squish or a crush on England. And neither have I thought about wanting to date any character, ever, if they were real. How many years has it been since I've had a crush, anyway? I remember harboring real deep romantic(?) feelings for this guy a few years back and I was sad that he didn't like me back, but then I realized hey either way, I don't really care. Maybe I'm lithromantic? Or since sexuality is fluid, I could be aromantic since that was the only time I had such strong feelings. That was super way back so I can't really judge things properly. Okay, I'm sure it was an obsession. How are you even supposed to feel anyway? I've dated someone I liked but I somehow got really repulsed so maybe I'm really lithromantic. I like fantasizing about romance but when it comes to real life, nO waY. I guess I wouldn't mind too much if it was an ideal relationship like really ideal. Nothing goes wrong but nope, real life ain't about that bass, 'bout that bass, yes treble.

[Member95252]

I don't recall having any feelings for fictional characters. I may find one aesthetically pleasing or obsess over them because they have a trait or personality that is just so likeable...but full on romantic feelings? Nah. My mind just does loop-de-loops over how pleasing they are to me but the thought that they aren't living and breathing people is never far from my mind.

[Guest]

I fall in love with fictional characters, but not romantically. I'm usually drawn in by their personalities, or their actions, what they stand for. Once I begin to love them I also am highly aesthetically attracted to them.

Take Son Goku for instance. I've fallen in love with this big lug over the past few months. Before getting into Dragon Ball, my thoughts on his appearance amounted to "ew, muscles". Now that I know all about his character and love him for it, he's the most adorable thing in the world.

Romantic feelings never come into the equation because fictional characters can't reciprocate and they are often already taken anyway.

Though...I seem to have a high preference for male characters, and I am heteroromantic. So perhaps the mark isn't all that far from romantic things. Just not close enough to make much difference.

[Guest]

I rest my case.

LOL but really I'm pretty sure I've had feelings for many fictional characters. 2D just seems so perfect... but I'm happy with real life relationships, too. I just look for qualities in fictional characters that I've developed crushes on in people I seek in real life.

[Jobi1]

Fictional characters are pretty much the only people I form emotional connections with (which is obviously my prerequisite as a demiromantic). I've been completely in love with a fair few and feelings for a lot more. And I'm 100% certain that one character is my soulmate. Occasionally I get feelings for a character but it's a queerplatonic thing instead. I'm a maladaptive daydreamer and these stories tend to revolve around fictional characters that I'm connected to, so that probably adds a lot to it

[Desmister]

It depends on the character for me. Some characters I'm just physically attracted to. Most of the time when I'm attracted to a character it's just a squish. I really just want to be their friends (Even though I know they don't exist).

[Holy Ghost]

I've always had a little crush on the riddler and the depressed Will Grayson, In many ways I can relate to them. I wouldn't necessarily call it a crush but I find them interesting in an odd way. I fan girl in my mind every time I see the riddler because he's so adorable. I can connect with the severely depressed Will Grayson on an emotional level, we're both lost souls floating around, not knowing whether if any of this is worth a damn and

[Jea]

I've had squishes on fictional characters, the strongest being Severus Snape from the Harry Potter series. I wanted to hug him so bad, especially in fanfiction. I don't exactly know what to answer in the poll though. It's not romantic attraction, it's not a crush, and it's definitely not aesthetic attraction, but it's still something that's very strong.

[Original Username]

I literally just created this account to say that I'm glad I found this topic, but at the same time, it pains me too much.

It's been driving me insane for the last few days that I couldn't figure out why I love her so much. I created a Facebook group dedicated to her at first because I fell in love with her personality... her morals... her loving nature. Other groups would always degrade and humiliate her for what reason? I don't know. But what I do know is that I'd get severely defensive. And the more I defensive I got, The more heartache it caused me.

I did a quick Google search about my situation, and this very topic was the first one that popped up. Just about the entire OP described me spot on.

I brought this up to a few members in my group (it's a small one anyways), and surprisingly they were fully accepting of it.

I'm afraid to even go to sleep because of this. When I close my eyes, I can see her face. Her eyes. Her smile. I can almost completely feel her when her body touches mine. She even forms the position I'm in, and I can feel her energy as her body phases into mine. It's... comforting. Never in my life have I felt that before.

However, on the other hand - It hurts. Completely. It hurts that I know I'll never hold her in real life, and the very thought of it keeps driving me mad.

I... Hate this feeling. Yet love it at the same time. And that scares me because I don't know how to deal with this. Feels like I'm going insane.

Has... Has anyone ever felt like this with their first love, real or not? I feel like an emotional train wreck right now. Right now - I could really use some advice from those with experience in this.

I'll try to elaborate further if anyone has any questions that weren't answered in this post.

[Raina.]

(tw: abuse mention)

This feels all too accurate. Atm I guess it's because I am mentally incapable of having a proper relationship. But even as a kid I always fell in love with fictional characters? It was my way out of the abusive cycle of school etc. Getting beat up wasn't as bad when my favourite character aka my best friend was there to help me heal. I could have conversations in my head about daily life, imagining being with them; even to a point where some of my teachers got worried (like THAT worries you? not me being covered in bruises and crying a lot?) that I was dissociating, living in a fantasy world unable to see what was real and what wasn't - cause it got to that point; where I was legitimately talking about spending time with these people. They didn't seem to understand that this was a coping mechanism. Maybe not then, but now I'm fully able to differentiate. But it's easier. In your ideal world, they will never let you down. They'll love you, understand and respect you no matter what your mental health/disorders, the way you identify. Plus to me, there's never anything sexual about them. Unless people choose to write fic for said characters, I never think of them as sexual people.

One of my biggest crushes was Nymphadora Tonks. Still is, let's be real.

[Mostly Peaceful Ryan]

One of my biggest crushes was Nymphadora Tonks. Still is, let's be real.

Tonks is so awesome she is one of my favorite characters from Harry potter.

[Munchykin]

I can remember when I was 13, there was one character I got so connected to, I broke down at one point because they weren't real. The feeling passed though, and I think that's the most extreme it's gotten (I've been careful), although I do fall in love with characters in a different way, because there are some characters I just adore.

[Nylocke]

As an AFAB who identifies genderqueer and asexual I consider my "romantic feelings" to be fairly hetero romantic whether it'd be in terms of real life or fictional characters. Of course there are way too many anime and video game characters out there for me to get into details :P

[LunarDrop]

Oh god, there are more people like me. I thought I was nuts! Well, frankly, I still think I am, but at least there are other people just as nuts as me?

I've always had this thing where I would develop feelings for fictional characters. For me, personally, I find a way to insert myself into the story, basically creating an OC out of me and imagine ways in which the plot would change with my character around. Basically, stuff that would be horrible self-insert fanfiction if I were to write it, lol. I guess it's also a bit of a power-fantasy, since my alter-ego is free to use, I dunno, magic, or be a genius inventor, or anything I want. I've been thinking about it a lot lately, because while I have no issue with putting this self-insert character into romantic situations, I can't ever imagine the real me in a similar setting without feeling silly. And I've never actually felt as strongly about real people, with one exception. But since he's sort of a celebrity, he's pretty much the same as a fictional character for me, in the end, lol.

I also love shipping, and sometimes I prefer pairing the character I'm crushing on with someone else, rather than myself.

I always felt like the whole loving fictional characters thing was "cheating" in a way, though. As much as I keep the character's personality in mind, and try to imagine how they would react based off it, it still can't be denied, that in the end, I'm the one who's manipulating them. I'm the one who thinks of what they say, I'm the one who puts them in certain situations and makes them react in a particular way.

I really like that aspect about myself, in a way, because I think it lets me connect with works of fiction on a deeper level, but at the same time, I wonder if I somehow screwed myself up by allowing myself to interact with fictional people so much, instead of trying to interact with real people more. I wonder if I somehow caused myself to be unable to love a real person. That maybe I'm just scared of the unpredictability, that I'm a coward and should try harder to put myself out there.

Additionally, I really like to imagine myself touching the fictional characters, hugging, kissing, sharing a bed... but in real life, I don't really feel anything from hugs, kissing seems weird, and I can't imagine ever doing it with someone. Sometimes I wonder if I would like it if I gave it a try, but I guess I'll never have the chance to check.

[Gloomy]

I have feelings for anime characters sometimes. A couple years ago I even had feelings for an anthropomorphic video game character.

[MarieIsEatingTacobell]

I am attracted to some Pokemon.....ok I am weird.

Anyway, I don't think it's strictly an asexual thing, but maybe asexuals focus on it more because they are attracted to less people in general.

I've actually seen attraction to Pokemon a lot! They're beautiful creatures, I can't blame you!

P.s. Eyyy our Eevee and Sylveon icons match!

I have feelings for anime characters sometimes. A couple years ago I even had feelings for an anthropomorphic video game character.

Oh yeah, I've definitely had anime characters steal my heart. Edward Elric was my first real love as a kid, not going to lie.

[Confused-about-everything]

I've had moments where I've wished characters are real but less in a 'I want to be in a relationship whit them' type way and more I wish they were real so that I could have a non-sexual non-romantic friendship type relationship! I often find the descriptions/pictures of characters attractive but not limited in a way I want to be with! Weirdly enough I prefer shipping fictional character with each other than with me and find it more that I would prefer watching their relationship evolve and develop with eachother than being part of it if that makes sense!

[Mikasa]

Yep, I can relate... I guess because liking fictional characters feels very safe and comfortable? They're not real, so they can't hurt me or leave me.

[Stargazer365]

I've had moments where I've wished characters are real but less in a 'I want to be in a relationship whit them' type way and more I wish they were real so that I could have a non-sexual non-romantic friendship type relationship! I often find the descriptions/pictures of characters attractive but not limited in a way I want to be with! Weirdly enough I prefer shipping fictional character with each other than with me and find it more that I would prefer watching their relationship evolve and develop with eachother than being part of it if that makes sense!

This describes me perfectly. I've definitely had crushes on fictional characters; more so than real life people. I actually thought that as I got older, the crushes would go away. That hasn't happened yet. I still do have a crush on a few fictional characters. I've notice these are the characters I tend to write fanfiction for too.

[Sleepy Skeleton]

I wouldn't really say I have romantic feelings for characters, but I do like to joke about having them. I have two husbandos (Tony from NCIS and Alistair from Dragon Age) and two waifus (Pearl from Steven Universe and Haruhi from OHSHC). I have some kind of love for them. I also very much enjoy romance in video games. It's more of a role play thing, though. I know if these characters were real, my feelings would evaporate pretty quickly. No one can tie me down. :P

tl;dr I've very good at pretending to have romantic feelings for characters, but they are never real.

[River_Gem]

I think this is a pretty normal occurrence for asexuals...at least from the people I've talked to about it.

I identify mainly as aromantic asexual, with bi- or pan-aesthetic. The concept of romantic or sexual attraction in real life has just never connected for me. Never cared for it. As much as I've been forced to think about it, those attractions had no place in my consciousness.

But with fictional characters, it was different. On a fictional level, I could identify and appreciate how a character presented themselves, looked, felt, etc...but the moment I started considering what it would be like to be with this character in real life, I was weirded out. In this way, I knew on another level that my aromantic/asexual nature was real, but I was also confused...like, how can I feel what I consider an emotional, sorta romantic attachment to a fiction? I think, since I'm a very visual yet internal processor, being able to entertain a narrative or "relationship" with a fictional character is easy and comforting in a way. Everyone wants to find connection, even in tiny ways.

So, to respond to the original post, I think this is perfectly normal and ok for asexuals, especially aromantics. It's not cheap or cowardly to enjoy the idea of making connections with people, even if they're not flesh-and-blood. You can love an idea. And you can love people. And both can be real or not. I think this might even be a healthy way for aromantic asexuals to enjoy/feel a pseudo-romantic connection that doesn't make them feel uncomfortable. Fictional attachments/romances are on their terms.

[MarieIsEatingTacobell]

For anyone with a tumblr who might be interested, I've teamed up with a friend of mine who's also fictoromantic to make a support blog for all of us here that do experience feelings for ficts. Not just romantic feelings, but squishes too! You can find it at loveforficts.tumblr.com ♥ I figured since there was no clear community to go to, that we'd try our hand at our own and build from there. After all there seem to be a lot of us here that might need it.