Different Dysphorias

[Quilly]

9 hours ago, camill said:

I hate that my dysphoria isn't debilitating. I really do. I know I should be happy about it being so faint, but it just makes me feel like I'm making up a problem that doesn't actually exist. I know I shouldn't compare myself to others because everyone's experience is different, but why is my fucking dysphoria just a mere "I wish things were different"? I wish my period would send me into a spiral of self loathing and lying in the dark but it doesn't. I wish my voice dysphoria would make me go mute, but it doesn't. I just wish it would show more.

I don't know if this helps as validation to you but I find that even though I feel a decent amount of dysphoria my brain still struggles with accepting the fact that it is there and it exists. But just because other people might have more/different struggles with a certain thing, it doesn't mean that thing doesn't impact you. Dysphoria's one of those things that is usually something people learn about later in life and had functioned for a decent amount of time not knowing it exists that the fact that it does messes with their mind. 

[Calligraphette_Coe]

On 11/3/2021 at 8:18 AM, camill said:

I hate that my dysphoria isn't debilitating. I really do. I know I should be happy about it being so faint, but it just makes me feel like I'm making up a problem that doesn't actually exist. I know I shouldn't compare myself to others because everyone's experience is different, but why is my fucking dysphoria just a mere "I wish things were different"? I wish my period would send me into a spiral of self loathing and lying in the dark but it doesn't. I wish my voice dysphoria would make me go mute, but it doesn't. I just wish it would show more.

You might find it gets worse as you age. I also have a feeling that it gets worse when one is depressed, with the dysphoria and depression acting like feeback to each other. 

 

About depression and dysphoria: mind got soo bad last year that I stopped eating and it plummeted me down over 60 lbs. Bad thing was, even though I came out to the psychiatrists, they seemed to not want to treat me for the dysphoria-- they didn't even want to tallk about it. It was the same old thing: here, take these pills and you'll be able to swallow again. 

[Janus the Fox]

Some people, maybe most, will not experience a disabling, debilitation level of dysphoria at all, all levels of dysphoria, and even no dysphoria while identifying or expressing differently is all valid human, and quite normal experiences.  It may depend on other factors, some may have a stronger body confidence, some may not even realise what they are feeling, is gender dysphoria.  I'd only figured out what I was feeling is gender dysphoria long after the body weight was lost, and the awareness of the body and health became critically important as I was generally unwell for 15 years.  Despite the maybe now... 20 or even 30 years of feeling like that, it was never debilitating to the point that I couldn't function in the world.  Though I'd later discover again that Autism plays a part in my own inability to get on in the world.

[Kimmie.]

It is one of those days when I can't even look at a picture/photo/drawing of a woman without being super jealous.

[A User]

On 11/3/2021 at 8:18 AM, camill said:

I hate that my dysphoria isn't debilitating. I really do. I know I should be happy about it being so faint, but it just makes me feel like I'm making up a problem that doesn't actually exist. I know I shouldn't compare myself to others because everyone's experience is different, but why is my fucking dysphoria just a mere "I wish things were different"? I wish my period would send me into a spiral of self loathing and lying in the dark but it doesn't. I wish my voice dysphoria would make me go mute, but it doesn't. I just wish it would show more.

this is awfully relatable

[Karst]

Sometimes I feel like I'm the proverbial choosing beggar for being transmasculine.  I could be conventionally attractive as a woman, but the idea of doing so makes me sick.  It feels like I'm throwing away something that I *should* want.

[quadfasciata]

9 hours ago, Karst said:

Sometimes I feel like I'm the proverbial choosing beggar for being transmasculine.  I could be conventionally attractive as a woman, but the idea of doing so makes me sick.  It feels like I'm throwing away something that I *should* want.

I relate. In terms of masculine ideals I look good, but it pains me to look in the mirror. It feels like I'm throwing away what I have. This is when thoughts about how I'll never pass or be decent looking start to creep in... if I'm lucky.

[RacheI]

Breathing. It's irrational and I hate it.

[A User]

why are bras shaped so... femininely? Their shape is just awful, too painful to see myself in. They should make it more masculine of that makes sense, would really help

[Gentle Giant]

At least they’re not as bad as the pointy bras from the 1950s. Those were ridiculous and even kind of disturbing.

[A User]

2 hours ago, Gentle Giant said:

At least they’re not as bad as the pointy bras from the 1950s. Those were ridiculous and even kind of disturbing.

just googled that

 

indeed, that just looks creepy in general, not to mention weird.

[daveb]

4 hours ago, Gentle Giant said:

At least they’re not as bad as the pointy bras from the 1950s. Those were ridiculous and even kind of disturbing.

Or Madonna. 

[Gentle Giant]

Just now, daveb said:

Or Madonna. 

She most likely was inspired by the 50s bras.

[daveb]

5 minutes ago, Gentle Giant said:

She most likely was inspired by the 50s bras.

Oh, definitely.

[Abigail Rose]

There are so many different types of bra styles available. That's good and bad in a way. I know when I have found a really great one, if the euphoria it gives me is strong. I usually buy a few of that kind since they tend to discontinue them for the next season's fashion line and often never return. 

[DuranDuranfan]

3 hours ago, daveb said:

Or Madonna. 

Or Rita Repulsa.

[daveb]

8 minutes ago, DuranDuranfan said:

Or Rita Repulsa.

Never heard of them.  

[Calligraphette_Coe]

10 hours ago, Gentle Giant said:

At least they’re not as bad as the pointy bras from the 1950s. Those were ridiculous and even kind of disturbing.

I always thought so, too. Even worse than the 90's "Whale Tail". 

[Gentle Giant]

@Calligraphette_Coe I had to look up what a whale tail is. Ugh! They’re not embarrassed to wear those like that? Or uncomfortable?

[Calligraphette_Coe]

2 hours ago, Gentle Giant said:

@Calligraphette_Coe I had to look up what a whale tail is. Ugh! They’re not embarrassed to wear those like that? Or uncomfortable?

It got so bad where I used to work that they had to amend the dress code. The straw that broke the camel's proverbial back was when someone wore them under a pair of Daisy Dukes. In a not-so-funny way, it was ironic because the ultra-conservative management was in a <ahem> bind? Seems the owners were sued for sexual harrassment because they were always getting caught having, shall we say, "Liasons"? So as to burnish their conservative credentials, they banned all kinds of clothing. To make things 'fair', they banned droopy drawers for the men. This same management let it be known they would fire any out trans people . That's why I never came out there.

 

Did you ever hear the one where Superman and Chuck Norris had a fight and the one that lost had to wear their underware outside their pants.?

[Quilly]

22 hours ago, A User said:

why are bras shaped so... femininely? Their shape is just awful, too painful to see myself in. They should make it more masculine of that makes sense, would really help

They should definitely have a garment that people can wear when not binding that's kind of a mix for whenever someone is taking a break from binding. The best thing at the moment are sports bras, but even those tend to have the foam inserts and specifically separate the chest into noticeable parts that can really throw a person off with dysphoria. 

[DuranDuranfan]

On 11/10/2021 at 9:53 PM, daveb said:

Never heard of them.  

Villainess on the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers.

[daveb]

11 hours ago, DuranDuranfan said:

Villainess on the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers.

Ah. Never watched it.  

[Acing It]

On 11/11/2021 at 12:29 AM, A User said:

just googled that

 

indeed, that just looks creepy in general, not to mention weird.

This says it all to me: https://www.vintag.es/2019/06/50s-bullet-bra.html

 

How was that even comfortable??

[Acing It]

On 11/11/2021 at 2:16 PM, Gentle Giant said:

@Calligraphette_Coe I had to look up what a whale tail is. Ugh! They’re not embarrassed to wear those like that? Or uncomfortable?

Looked that one up as well. I agree, must be very uncomfortable. I never saw any in the 90s either, which is why I had to look it up. Honestly? 🤢🤮

[Calligraphette_Coe]

4 hours ago, Acing It said:

Looked that one up as well. I agree, must be very uncomfortable. I never saw any in the 90s either, which is why I had to look it up. Honestly? 🤢🤮

Honestly, lol. What's the word I'm hunting for..... oh, yeah-- "indecorous" . That's when someone's whale tale covers up part of their tramp stamp.

[Acing It]

1 hour ago, Calligraphette_Coe said:

Honestly, lol. What's the word I'm hunting for..... oh, yeah-- "indecorous" . That's when someone's whale tale covers up part of their tramp stamp.

😂

[RacheI]

It would really mean a lot if I could scream into a pillow in frustration without hating myself.

[incandescing]

Warning: stoned rambling ahead.

 

I've been wondering "am I or ain't I" for the better part of twenty years.

 

I'm DMAB. On the female side of androgyny, leaning agender. The "boy bits" are meh, whatever; I'm not thrilled to have them, especially since I'm lesbian identified, but they don't give me a ton of dysphoria so I can deal. I do want to get laser and clean up the remaining stubble from my face, so I can present a little closer to my self-image.

 

I guess I'll always be curious about the other side. I relate to a lot of DFAB issues with gender, but I'll never truly know what that's like, just that I feel a kinship in some ways. I've had crushes/squishes on women and DFAB non-binary people, and most of my girl friends have been queer. And while I definitely don't feel male, I don't totally feel like a trans woman either. Words like non-binary, genderfluid, or demigirl all fit to a degree, but I'm very confused and don't see where the place is for a queer/trans person of my sex.

 

It feels like I'm not being my real self if I avoid being feminine, because people will default to seeing me as a guy. But I'm also not my real self if I perform femininity, since I'll just be seen as transfem instead of...  whatever this is. >_> It's almost like I have to start with binary female and stack non-binary on top of that, first thinking of myself as a girl and then taking away bits of gender until I get to something like the real me.

[Samaro]

I really like being in ASL class, because we don’t talk there, no one can hear my voice. I like my voice well enough, but I don’t like that being a soprano makes everyone who hears it think I’m a girl by default. I can hide things like my chest, and I can cut my hair, but people really do just hang on to anything that they can associate with a binary gender. It’s annoying.

 

Just let me be a confusing mass of different traits and styles I’ve stolen from both sides and everything in between!