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Different Dysphorias

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Another One
10 hours ago, Finn. said:

I watched this and I'm incredibly happy for him. But guess who is dypshoric af now?

Please, PLEASE, may I adopt this grandma?

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All the little Lights🎆
Spoiler

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

 

Sometimes I just hate the world so much!!!!!!!!!! (what I call when I say I'm dysphoric)

What do you call your dysphoria?

 

But seriously, it's so annoying, I missed uni last week because I couldn't go because there was so much dysphoria around...

And I just don't like the way my body looks! I just don't like it, I never have!

 

Writing this down already helped though:blush:

:excl:(The spoiler has some rambling about dysphoria):excl:

 

But I can do top surgery in summer:o^_^

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Alexandrite Alicorn

Every time my parents speak about me, they deadname and misgender me. They've known for several months, and have made ZERO effort to use the right pronouns or name. They're supposed to care!

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MackerelGray

I just showered today, and seeing my breasts in the mirror really sucked. It just looked stupid and wrong, why are they there? Taking a hot shower definitely helped me feel better, and I didn't look in the mirror again, but still - ugh.

 

I kinda want to come out to my parents just so they'll buy me a binder. They're not prejudiced, just kinda confused about trans people. They seem like the kinda people who'd take this shit well? (Then again a friend of mine came out as trans to her parents and they turned out to be wildly transphobic, so... You can't tell I guess.)

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All the little Lights🎆

1. A big hug for everyone with dysphoria (if you want to).

2. @Alexandrite Alicorn: Oh well, my parents are like this too. They know my pronouns, but they forget about it all the time. I wrote it on my birthday-wish-list, maybe you could do something similar?

3. @MackerelGray: There's things you can do against this confusion (e.g. send your parents to a therapist who knows a lot about trans people, or give them lots of information or...)

Or you could just ask them for a binder without telling them why (which will probably confuse them, but if you don't mind it's ok).

4. Some hugs to finish!!

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Emery.

Does the questioning ever stop? I felt good for once but it appeared once again, and I don't know what it is about once again.

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Lirpaderp

The fire alarm went off at my dorm. It's 3am here. I didn't have time to put on my binder before having to leave. I'm in a crowded room and my chest is showing in public (for the first time since November) and I feel awful.

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Another One
On 4/2/2018 at 10:31 PM, All the little Lights🎆 said:

But I can do top surgery in summer:o^_^

If you are absolutely sure that's what you need, go for it!

I had mine a bit less then a year ago, and it was the best thing I've ever done for myself. I'm a much happier person now.

 

From the other hand, after top surgery other sources of dysphoria can come out. Since my top surgery, I pay more attention to my hips and hate them a lot.

Still, it's not even close to the now-former chest dysphoria that was unbearable.

 

Anyway, good luck in your journey!

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Emery.
On 2.04.2018 at 9:48 AM, Finn. said:

I watched this and I'm incredibly happy for him. But guess who is dypshoric af now?

Wow that is quite a bit of acne! 

 

And I'm more envious of pre everything Miles... except for his haircut, it's not my style. And the childish prints (Mickey Mouse?).

 

But why is he waving his hands like that... ? And shouting? It looks like he's having some sort of attack :S Why does he have a skeloton on the back seat? Um how old is he? He must be over 18 right? 

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Finn.
On 4/5/2018 at 5:35 PM, Emery. said:

Wow that is quite a bit of acne! 

 

And I'm more envious of pre everything Miles... except for his haircut, it's not my style. And the childish prints (Mickey Mouse?).

 

But why is he waving his hands like that... ? And shouting? It looks like he's having some sort of attack :S Why does he have a skeloton on the back seat? Um how old is he? He must be over 18 right? 

He's 22!

 

Yeah he's quite over the top, but that's why people love him. There's a video where he spray-paints the walls in his apartment? Idk how much is his youtube alter ego though. He seems to be more chill in person.

 

Yeah that skin looks painful. I'm glad it's getting better.

 

I get the sentiment, the pre-everything Miles was very androgynous already which is what I like as well.

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The-world-is-quiet-here

“Girl” isn’t a gender-neutral term, is it? 

 

Context: my childhood best friend and i started talking again, somewhat recently, and she started one of her text messages to me with the word “girl”. 

 

I think I’m out to her?? I definitely explained about being nonbinary and genderfluid, but she still uses she pronouns and female-gendered language to refer to me. The thing is, it doesn’t always hurt to be called female terms. (Maybe I *am* genderfluid? [has slight identity crisis]) and she definitely means it in a caring way, I think she genuinely doesn’t realize I’m not a girl/woman. 

I don’t know how to explain it to her, and I don’t want it to be a big deal, but I don’t want to be misgendered all the time either, you know? 

 

Happy thing: I’ve been on vacation at my grandma’s place, and she lives in one of those old people community places where all the buildings look the same. Anyways, we went out to dinner at the restaurant a couple times, and the server didn’t gender me tonight!! It made me so happy. 

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All the little Lights🎆
On 5.4.2018 at 2:12 PM, Another One said:

If you are absolutely sure that's what you need, go for it!

I had mine a bit less then a year ago, and it was the best thing I've ever done for myself. I'm a much happier person now.

 

From the other hand, after top surgery other sources of dysphoria can come out. Since my top surgery, I pay more attention to my hips and hate them a lot.

Still, it's not even close to the now-former chest dysphoria that was unbearable.

 

Anyway, good luck in your journey!

Yes, I'm very sure about it! Also a bit scared though xD

 

And I'm actually looking forward to this "other dysphoria sources". Because I really think I might have more than just top dysphoria, but I can't tell! And I hope that I will be able to afterwards, and also to describe it better, that would also help in doing something against it.

 

Thank you very much!

 

7 hours ago, The-world-is-quiet-here said:

“Girl” isn’t a gender-neutral term, is it? 

 

Context: my childhood best friend and i started talking again, somewhat recently, and she started one of her text messages to me with the word “girl”. 

 

I think I’m out to her?? I definitely explained about being nonbinary and genderfluid, but she still uses she pronouns and female-gendered language to refer to me. The thing is, it doesn’t always hurt to be called female terms. (Maybe I *am* genderfluid? [has slight identity crisis]) and she definitely means it in a caring way, I think she genuinely doesn’t realize I’m not a girl/woman. 

I don’t know how to explain it to her, and I don’t want it to be a big deal, but I don’t want to be misgendered all the time either, you know? 

 

Happy thing: I’ve been on vacation at my grandma’s place, and she lives in one of those old people community places where all the buildings look the same. Anyways, we went out to dinner at the restaurant a couple times, and the server didn’t gender me tonight!! It made me so happy. 

Oh yes, that happens to me all the time. Apparently, people don't understand by themselves that you should use differently gendered words for enbys. You need to tell them if you want to hear different words, multiple times. It's hard and takes a lot of energy, so I only do it if it's important enough (e.g. with my family). The most effective/polite one is probably if you wish for certain words, e.g. I'd like you to call me person, human or friend instead of girl. I often emphasize how that feels when someone uses correct terms for me. (And I also get sad and angry to my parents when they've screved up a lot)

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Ace Ninja

Hello everyone,

 

I myself am a pretty non-binary individual. I just don't care about gender. I was wondering if any of you know of a clothing company that makes gender neutral clothes. I would like to buy some pants that are not tailored to the curvature of the AFAB figure. Could anyone help me out? I know that if I bought pants that were for "boys" then my mother would become irate. 

 

Any Suggestions?

 

(I am pretty poor; I don't have a lot of money to spend on clothing. If you know of any cheap clothing companies with gender neutral options, that would be great.)

 

Thank you all,

Ace Ninja :cake:

d4da1919d2829f48cb5b404183979aab0505c4dd

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nerdperson777
On 4/2/2018 at 12:36 PM, Alexandrite Alicorn said:

Every time my parents speak about me, they deadname and misgender me. They've known for several months, and have made ZERO effort to use the right pronouns or name. They're supposed to care!

Yesterday my neighbors came back from their vacation so we gave them their dog back. My dad has been telling them that I was his daughter, with the wrong name and pronouns. His brain is decaying so bad. He doesn't use it so he forgets everything. I don't think he even intended to use the right name or pronouns ever. And with the girl at the park last week, I'm pretty sure when they see each other again, he's going to out me. 

 

On 4/2/2018 at 9:29 PM, MackerelGray said:

I kinda want to come out to my parents just so they'll buy me a binder. They're not prejudiced, just kinda confused about trans people. They seem like the kinda people who'd take this shit well? (Then again a friend of mine came out as trans to her parents and they turned out to be wildly transphobic, so... You can't tell I guess.)

My parents are just extremely afraid of being an outcast because of me. It's more convenient FOR THEM to not change how they refer to me, because they don't want to be treated differently because of me. 

 

On 4/8/2018 at 7:10 PM, Ace Ninja said:

Hello everyone,

 

I myself am a pretty non-binary individual. I just don't care about gender. I was wondering if any of you know of a clothing company that makes gender neutral clothes. I would like to buy some pants that are not tailored to the curvature of the AFAB figure. Could anyone help me out? I know that if I bought pants that were for "boys" then my mother would become irate. 

 

Any Suggestions?

 

(I am pretty poor; I don't have a lot of money to spend on clothing. If you know of any cheap clothing companies with gender neutral options, that would be great.)

 

Thank you all,

Ace Ninja :cake:

d4da1919d2829f48cb5b404183979aab0505c4dd

I think I came across a site by searching up gender neutral clothing. But they are really expensive. Don't know how anyone expects to afford unless they have extra money to spend. 

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