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Weekly planet interview


(SP)

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I know I post alot of mediocre stuff here with vague, boring references to asexuality, but this probably is worth reading. I hope I'm not becoming the boy who cried wolf, posting stuff all the time, so that no ones intersted anymore.

http://www.weeklyplanet.com/2002-01-31/happs.html





2013 Mod Edit: The above link doesn't work anymore, but the aricle can still be read here. For future reference:

ENTERTAINMENT | HAPPENINGS 01.31.02

They're Not Fooling Around

BY DAVID JASPER


Regena English is the mastermind behind the Web site leatherspinsters.com, a site for happily unmarried asexual women. Her newest creation is asexualpals.com, a dating service for asexuals.


WP: Is this for asexuals looking for romantic love or just companionship?


English: Some just want to meet other asexuals.


WP: Is there a big demand for this? Are there a lot of asexuals out there?


English: Yes. But you know, they don't talk about it. They're withdrawn a
lot because they don't want to call attention to themselves. They don't
want to feel abnormal.


WP: The asexuals are looking for somebody to date. Does that mean
they can date a man or a woman, since they're not technically going to
be gay, they're just looking for companionship?



English: Right, but so far I've found individuals that, they look for the opposite sex.


WP: That's interesting.


English: Yeah, I thought so. They've been through regular dating
services and they're received poor service, ridicule and isolation. So
they have been pursuing on their own a relationship or a friendship. So
what this Asexual Pals will do is just break that down; everybody knows
if you find somebody on this service, what kind of person they are.


WP: Have you ever read the book Deadeye Dick, by Kurt Vonnegut? There's a character in there that considers himself a neuter. Is that an anomalous term or a common one?


English: The only people who would call themselves that ... are usually
males who have been something biological. They may have been born
without testicles or without a penis or something like that.


WP: Now ... there's not any kind of pornography on the site.


English: Oh my goodness, no.


WP: Is there such a thing as adult video or adult books for asexuals? Or do they seek other forms of entertainment?


English: Usually, asexuals are tired of the focus on it. They're tired
of our society's focus on sex. Asexuals are people who have often been
overlooked by society. They just don't grasp the idea of why people
focus so much on genitalia and the sexual act. They don't get it.


WP: How do they express their love for each other in other ways?


English: How they look into one another's eyes, how they respect one
another. How they hold one another. I've talked to asexuals who are
physical. They may not have sexual intercourse per se, but they're
physical. When you truly love somebody, how they touch you, it makes a
difference.


WP: What if everyone became asexual. Didn't all the Shakers die off because there was no one breeding?


English: I think that's an extreme. Asexuals have a place in nature.
They do. And I think maybe it'll help take some of the focus off of
sexual activity. Maybe people would understand that love and sex are not
the same. In our society today, people, adults, do not know the
difference between love and sex.


WP: Maybe it's the terminology. People think "making love" literally makes love.


English: Right, right. I think so, too, but I think that's something
from ignorance. I think that was once a slang expression, and people
took it literally. I think there needs to be a new set of ground rules
to what love is ... we have do define that for ourselves. If we really
want to know how it feels to be loved, then we must look for it within
ourselves and get rid of all of our false ideas.


WP: Now, when you say "love ourselves," you don't mean that people actually -- you don't mean asexuals actually masturbate or anything.


English: Well I've talked to some who have. It's not a drive, like --


WP: That's like really asexual. Like in nature, plants that are asexual reproduce somehow without involving a partner. Now, say I'm thinking about becoming an asexual, how would I know asexuality is right for me?


English: I think it's just something you end up being. As with any
sexual orientation, it can change. I know a lot of people put their arms
up in disbelief, but it's true. As human beings, we have the option of
changing and living any way we desire for ourselves, unlike any other
animal.


WP: Do you ever get guys who think they're all macho-studs, and they
think they can be the guy who can change a woman from being asexual,
they think, "all they need is a night with me, and they'll change." Do
you hear from those kinds of people?



English: Yes. But you know what? You hear from women too.


WP: You hear from women?


English: Yes.


WP: They think they can convert guys?


English: Yes.


WP: Could you give them my phone number?


English: (Laughter) Right back to what I said, your sexuality --


WP: My sexuality?


English: -- it's like shopping for shoes.


WP: I'm shopping for shoes?


English: It's like, different things can happen --


WP: Are you saying I have shoe fetish?


English: No no no. I'm saying that, as far as --


WP: I do.


English: -- sexuality, depending on what's going on in your life,
because you can talk to guys who went to prison, and they're the
straightest arrow outside of prison, and when they got in prison, they
became gay. So here again, sexuality, you can modify it as you go.


WP: My sexuality?


English: Anybody's!


WP: Do you think right-wingers will accuse you of setting an asexual
agenda, like an asexual conspiracy to recruit asexuals, just like they
accuse homosexuals of recruiting?



English: My attitude on that is, I'm not taking a political stance with it.


WP: What about religious -- doesn't the Catholic Church advocate having as many kids as you possibly can?


English: Yeah.


WP: What's wrong with that? Doesn't the Pope know the earth is overpopulated?


English: Now that's just a myth, believe me.


WP: Oh, I know. They say you can fit everybody in the state of Texas. Have you ever been to Texas? Would you want to live there?


English: (laughs) I live here.


WP: Oh, you live in Texas? Can everybody come there and everybody'll fit?


English: I believe that everyone who wants children and can provide for them, should have them.


WP: What you're saying, it sounds like the author Harry Johnson. Have you heard of him?


English: No ... did he focus on this particular issue?


WP: Um, it seemed like it came up. I can't think of the book. But I know the name of the author is Harry Johnson.


English: Uh, last year, Canada did a study, I think the city of Toronto,
on asexuality in their community. As far as people making fun of it,
those who know what it is --


WP: The people making fun if it would know what it is?


English: Yeah.


WP: I'd think people would be more compassionate.


English: You would think. All we talk about is tolerance. But here you
have a group of people that automatically assume that these people want
to become the new minority. They want some privileges.


WP: They want human rights.


English: That's a threat to some people. If they (asexuals) were open,
if many were open in certain employment about who they are, then they
would be discriminated against.


WP: Especially if their boss is sexually harassing them.


English: Right. Not that I'm saying you should go to work and tell everybody their business.


WP: I'd rather hear about people not having sex than having sex.
Ordinarily at work when people start talking about that kind of stuff, I
think, ah, I don't want to hear it.



English: You hear it all the time! Look at the TV. I don't care what kind of movie it is; they force it in there.


WP: They force it in there. They jam it in there.


English: Huh?


WP: They jam it in there. You're right.


English: Sure they do. ... And then you have the music, depending what
you're listening to, rap. Then you have rock music doing it. I'm just
waiting for some opera to do it. (Laughs) that's the only style of music
that hasn't. Contemporary jazz hasn't gone that direction, which is
good.


WP: Pornographic?


English: Well, yeah, they feel like in order for the record to sell, they feel they have to have a video that's real explicit.


WP: Like Kenny G with that flute.


English: (Long pause) He did one of those types of videos?


WP: I think his last video was pornographic.


English: Really?


WP: Yeah. He played the flute.


English: (Silence)


WP: Provocatively.


English: I haven't seen that ... I'm gonna tell you the biggest problem
with asexuals: They're extremely withdrawn, and it's hard getting them
out of the shell.


When former WP staff writer David Jasper isn't repressing his fantasies, he's working as an arts and entertainment reporter at The Bulletin in Bend, Ore.

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Oh, great. Now we're "entertainment." Could that interviewer have been any more of a jerk? This is a good example of why you should stay away from the media.

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Oh, great. Now we're "entertainment." Could that interviewer have been any more of a jerk? This is a good example of why you should stay away from the media.

Almost my very words in the topic "sex files"

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Ahh... I had some contact a while ago w/ the person who runs leatherspinsters. Maybe I should drop her another e-mail.

As for the media, I don't see any problem. If we want to do visibility work we'll have to deal with them, and if they ask stupid questions we can clear them up on television instead of having to clear them up with every person we meet.

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VivreEstEsperer

Are you kidding? I thought that interview was great!!!! Sure he was a jerk but he asked good questions in the beginning anyway and it was the first intveriuew ive ever seen that really attempted to interview an asexual, find out what their life is like, find out what asexuality is like. It was wonderful to be validated like that, regardless of what section in the newspaper/mag it was in.

English: Uh, last year, Canada did a study, I think the city of Toronto, on asexuality in their community. As far as people making fun of it, those who know what it is --

anyone know anything about that?

I do resent her saying all asexuals are hard to get to come out of their shells. Ya can't characterize any group of people as being all one way like that.

SP, thanks very much for the link and keep posting articles, I enjoy each and every one of them. very valuable:)

Kate

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