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How old were you when you first thought you might be "different?"


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The_Reluctant_Dragon

I started realizing that I was "different" at a young age, around 11-12, which was 6th Grade. Everybody basically started feeling things I just couldn't relate to. I then realized that I didn't like girls sexually so I immediately thought I must be gay since I was thought that there was only gay and straight. I then realized that I didnt like boys sexually and I was just confused out of my mind. I knew I didn't like anyone in that way but I thought you had to just like someone. I eventually realized that asexuality existed and I was finally free from my confusion. I hope the book goes well!

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Lucas Monteiro
On 03/08/2015 at 2:36 AM, Tool1989 said:

Probably when my (ex) friends started to brag about how many girls they slept with....so around 15.

Wait, with 15 they already sleeped with someone ? What is the problem with kids today ? With 15 I was just playing around with videogames.

 

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I mean, as a person of Asian descent in rural southern Virginia, I've pretty much always felt out of place, even before I knew I was queer. However, more specifically in the area of romance/relationships/etc., I started to get an inkling that my friends were experiencing different things than me around age 12. I was raised Mormon and at this age kids transfer from the children's group to the youth group, so I was hanging out around older people than before. I remember adults talking about how we weren't supposed to date until we were 16, and when I said that wouldn't be an issue because I wasn't interested, they just laughed condescendingly and said I would eventually change my mind (news flash: I never did). Another incident from this same period was at summer camp when all my friends were talking about crushes and I just....didn't get it. They asked me which boy I thought was cute and I said my little brother, because he is obviously the cutest boy I know, and they laughed because they thought I didn't understand what they meant. (I did, I just didn't find boys attractive.)

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When I was 8 or 9. I grew up watching Lizzie McGuire and questioned why the fk did she embarass herself a lot to impress Ethan. I also got sick of ebery single fking song being about love or man/woman bs at that age. I had a rebellious phase as a teenager where I was very proud of the fact that I wore extra clothes and was always covered up as opposed to girls in my hs who exploited their assets to attract guys. I didn't know in those days but they could have been signs.

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I was like 5 or 6 because everyone treated me differently.

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When I was an elementary schoolgirl, I thought prince charming was a geek. Other disney-loving girls were all talking about finding prince charming. I just wanted to go back to playing imagination games.

Middle school, people were talking about who likes who and even dating. I was the designated "talk to me after a breakup" friend. 

Freshman/Sophomore year: what's wrong with me? I never had a crush, all this sexy stuff is gross. Never want that in my life, ew.

Me now: Makes sense, here I am, got my whole life to be me. 

 

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I was in 6th or 7th grade (age 11/12) when I realized I was different. Everybody was feeling crushes and started dating and I was confused. For the 5 years I thought something was seriously wrong with me socially. I thought I had a social disorder because of how alienated I felt. It was like the whole world was in on a cruel inside joke and I was stuck outside of it. Late middle/ early high school I wanted to find the definition of a crush but nobody could tell me. They all said I'd feel it eventually. Some peoples definitions were similar to how someone with social anxiety feels around everybody (sweaty, blushing, heart racing, stumbling over words), so that made me more confused. People thought I had crushes on a few boys, but that's because at that age if a girl and a boy are friends they MUST like like each other.

 

The thought of kissing freaked me out but intrigued me. I was curious how someone could ever want to suck someone else's face like that. I still don't get it. I don't get people being hot either. Some of my friends just treat me like a child for it.

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When I was in middle school "like 11 or 12" I remember thinking "do I like boys? I can't tell. Do I like girls? No. But I like boys as much as I like girls. Which is 0." When people asked me what like I always said "neither" and in middle school no one questioned it. I sort of suppressed that as I got older and then I am still coming to terms with the fact that I'm not a "late bloomer" at 22.

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DougieTheDog

I was about 14 or 15 when I first noticed that I might be a bit different but I was 16 when I began identifying as ace. I guess I noticed that I wasn't quite as interested in the same things as other people my age.

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I'm 17 almost 18 and I only realised I was asexual a few days ago. I first started realising I was different at 16.

 

I've always been having romantic crushes as long as my friends have been having them. I never even considered that a crush was something even remotely sexual though. I didn't even realise what sexual attraction was. I have always thought of it as either aesthetic or sensual attraction, not realising they were different.

 

When my friends were starting to kiss boys I just thought they were because they were expected to and because they didn't want to seem strange.

When I was 16 I thought I was bi and at early 17 is when I first realised that romantic and sexual attraction were different.

I'd never even considered that I was asexual though as I still felt attracted to people romantically, I didn't know what asexual was.

I only realised after I saw a coming out video on youtube and realised that the person was very similar to me. I then looked into it and then I realised. 

 

Now that I think about it though, I've always kinda expressed that I felt like this without actually realising what it was. If I'd known what asexual was sooner it would have spared me the confusion I felt from 16 till now.

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