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How common is the black ring?


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I've worn my ace ring since October 2017, even though I've been identifying as ace for just under 2 years now. Annoyingly the online shop I got it from didn't do half sizes, so I went for the size up, it doesn't bother me too much, as I do take it off when I'm back home and around old school friends as I'm not "out" to many people, just yet.  I do want a more expensive one as I've come to love wearing it (I'm not a massive jewellery fan, I rarely wear necklaces etc), however knowing me I'll get a super lovely one and lose it almost instantly, haha. 

I've never met anyone else with an ace ring in real life, it doesn't help I live in a small seaside town, as asexuality is fairly unheard of here.

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I've been wearing my ring since Christmas in 2017, and no one knows what it means at all except for those who I've already told its meaning to. It's been nice though; I think it looks good on my finger even without the meaning attached to it!

 

But I do wish someone would recognize it without me having to tell them!

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On 2/1/2018 at 3:48 AM, Mirari said:

I've been wearing my ring since Christmas in 2017, and no one knows what it means at all except for those who I've already told its meaning to. It's been nice though; I think it looks good on my finger even without the meaning attached to it!

 

But I do wish someone would recognize it without me having to tell them!

I have been wearing mine since Christmas as well! :) However, I have yet to see any other people with a black ring, so I cannot give a definitive answer to its commonplace in public! :blink: But, I must keep a closer eye out! ;) 

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On 1/28/2018 at 3:35 PM, will123 said:

I have one, but I haven't worn it because I'm in an area that if people did ask about it and then not understand the reason for wearing it. If I go to Toronto I'd probably wear it.

Same situation for me if ever going to rural Pennsylvania (look up Butler County). I'd prefer not to have the questions. :excl: In Pittsburgh, it sure does not matter! ;) 

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I've worn mine for years, and worked in a restaurant for the majority of that time. I probably interacted with close to a thousand customers each week, and only once did I notice a black ring worn on the same finger - I made a fairly neutral comment about it, but didn't get a telling response. If we go off the 1% figure, I should've seen quite a few throughout that time in my life, so I don't think the black ring is all that common among the general population. 

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13 hours ago, Jarle said:

If we go off the 1% figure, I should've seen quite a few throughout that time in my life, so I don't think the black ring is all that common among the general population. 

I would probably say my general consensus as well.

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I wear one, but its a sterling silver ring with a tiny black spinel in the center. People probably cant even tell its specifically black... it just looks dark. I pretty much just wear it for me 

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  • 2 weeks later...

I just bought a black ring, but it doesn’t fit on either of my middle fingers. Is there a chance I could just wear it on my left ring finger, or would I be confused for a swinger? If I can’t wear it on my ring finger, could I just put it on a chain and wear it around my neck? 

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I've never seen anyone wearing a black ring. I guess it's good to have something to look out for in others though, it's subtle. It's a good idea and id consider getting one myself in the future (I'm certainly not comfortable enough yet to deal with questions on what it means), though I'm not really a ring person in general.

 

to the above poster - putting it on a necklace is a great idea, don't see why you couldn't do that :) 

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2 hours ago, emi1948 said:

I just bought a black ring, but it doesn’t fit on either of my middle fingers. Is there a chance I could just wear it on my left ring finger, or would I be confused for a swinger? If I can’t wear it on my ring finger, could I just put it on a chain and wear it around my neck? 

@emi1948 As lucyrose_x suggested, it's better to have a ring on a necklace than on a hand / finger that might raise awkward questions. 

 

Following on from my previous post (here or in another 'ring' thread - I forget!), I bought myself a new and correctly sized ring as I couldn't re-size the original one. And it's going well! No-one has asked me about it though... 

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Milk_and_cookies

I mean, I’m asexual and I know about it, so does my asexual friend and we’ve been trying to look for a black ring, so yeah, I guess at least a few asexuals know.

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I've been wearing mine for a few months. People ask what it means and I give the a vague awnser because I'm not out to anyone except my brother, I'm scared how they will react. Every time I'm out in public with my family and with my ring on there is always the thought that someone else who knows what it means will come up to me and ask if I'm ace. This scares me to the point of hiding my hands in pockets/gloves. However, I want to wear it to remind and comfort myself about that side of my identity.

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Tasha the demi squirrel

I wear one that got online I've grown so used to wearing it that if I take it off for whatever reason my hand feels weird without it lol......no one has recognised it as an ace ring (despite it having a heart-shaped demisexual pride flag on it) but I've had a couple of people say they like it and the only people I've seen wearing an ace ring are people on YouTube 

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10 hours ago, Jen.vc said:

I've been wearing mine for a few months. People ask what it means and I give the a vague awnser because I'm not out to anyone except my brother, I'm scared how they will react. Every time I'm out in public with my family and with my ring on there is always the thought that someone else who knows what it means will come up to me and ask if I'm ace. This scares me to the point of hiding my hands in pockets/gloves. However, I want to wear it to remind and comfort myself about that side of my identity.

I'd be surprised if someone would come bounding up to you and ask immediately about whether you're asexual, but I understand your trepidation. 

 

I don't know how I'd handle things if anyone asked me straight out about my 'orientation' - I'd probably be taken aback and fumble about before answering (if I answered at all!).

 

If someone complimented my ring, I'd be thankful but wouldn't explain its purpose unless I knew them. If someone asked what it meant, I'd likely have an inkling of what they're driving at and ask them what they thought it meant (and confirm or deny as necessary). 

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  • 1 month later...
Elly.Poetic

I've only ever met one asexual in my life, and they don't wear a black ring. But when I used to work at a fast food restaurant, I had one person who always came through the drive thru that wore a black ring, but I never thought to ask them about it since I was just supposed to give them there food you know. But I have wondered how common it is to wear the black ring. 

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  • 3 weeks later...

I wear a black ring. The One Ring in black with silver writing and I've worn it since the start of 2017.

I've met other aces, but I never actually looked for a ring on their fingers.

In the time I've worn my ring I was never asked about it even once, as it isn't really something that people recognise.

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CatsClubsNCake
On 6/11/2015 at 3:48 PM, Charcoal face paint said:

Okay so when I very first found out about asexuality I was like oh yeah, that fits me pretty well, then I found out about aromanticism and was like oh shit, that fits me too (not knowing that you can be both aromantic and asexual and not doing enough research as I should've) and so for about a year I was kind of stuck between am I this one or this one. Then completely by coincidence, I was on a school trip and on the second day they gave us time to go do some shopping an there was a deal on for rings so I went and bought a black ring (because I love black) and then just so happened to put it on my middle finger. I then came back and was showing the things I bought to this guy in my group who I'd never really talked to before then and he was like "OMG asexual ring!!" and then he had to come out to our biology teacher and do this passionate speech about how he'd been identifying as ace for 5 years and really wanted a ring so that we could run back to the shop and buy him one too. We spent the whole rest of the trip spending as much time with each other as we could and then when we got back, we've remained friends however we don't see each other a lot due to different lessons and being friends with different people/different friendship groups. A few weeks ago, he lost the ring we got on the school trip and so I gave him one of the ones from my quite extensive collection.

It's kind of funny because it would have been so easy for that opportunity to have been missed (I nearly didn't even go on that trip and it was only by chance I saw the rings in the first place and by chance I was put in the same group as the guy) and for me still now to have been questioning and not fully informed about what asexuality and aromanticism are. I went that night and spent hours researching and as soon as I saw that you could be aromantic and asexual I was like, yep that's me 100% and now it's a big part of who I am and I've come out to most of my friends now (not my family) and I'm openly ace at school and try to educate people about it if I see an opportunity.

What a great story! I haven't been able to find a black ring, so I have just been wearing like five rings on my middle finger on my right hand and hoping that does the trick LOL

I have been looking out for black rings on others, though. So far I have not seen any.

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3 minutes ago, CatsClubsNCake said:

What a great story! I haven't been able to find a black ring, so I have just been wearing like five rings on my middle finger on my right hand and hoping that does the trick LOL

I have been looking out for black rings on others, though. So far I have not seen any.

I just found a o ring in my workshop inventory and it suits the purpose.

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There's a fair amount of discussion in the asexual community about wearing black rings, but if I were to see someone wearing a black ring when out in public, I would still think there's a good chance that they're wearing it for some other reason.

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PittAce92
On February 18, 2018 at 1:13 PM, emi1948 said:

 

I just bought a black ring, but it doesn’t fit on either of my middle fingers. Is there a chance I could just wear it on my left ring finger, or would I be confused for a swinger? If I can’t wear it on my ring finger, could I just put it on a chain and wear it around my neck? 

 

Believe it or not, I believe the swinger community recognizes the black ring on the middle finger on your right hand as the asexual community! :o

 

it it shocked me when I read it, but also thought, "Cool. Making progress!" 8)

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Hey, if any of you can't find a ring right away or are worried about awkward attention or people thinking you're a swinger you can use a pen and draw it on yourself. No one will think anything of it and no one will ever think you're a swinger. The only problem is that  no other asexual will notice either. 

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I personally don't own one, at least not one bought with that specific purpose. Back in High School, I insisted on getting my class ring in black. This was a few years back, and long before I knew being ace was even a thing, much less that I was ace. Funny coincidence, that.

 

I intend to get one specifically for this purpose though, one that doesn't have a stone and that I can wear comfortably.

The only person in my family that knows I'm ace is my sister, and she isn't telling anyone. I wear rings pretty much all the time though, so ordering a new one wouldn't raise any eyebrows. Even if someone noticed it i can give a noncommittal answer about thinking it looked nice with my stainless chain and leave it at that unless someone asks what it means, which means I can have my little symbol and still be discreet among my family. I live in Texas, and my family is super close-minded about this sort of thing. I want to have some kind of symbol to tell myself that there are others like me, but I need it to be something nobody would even bat an eye at, so a ring is perfect seeing as I wear them anyway. People will just assume I saw a nice one and bought it with some graduation money or something,

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As a bit of an update, I now have the ring en route, it will be arriving tomorrow. This is what I wound up getting. Just a simple Tungsten Carbide wedding band, nothing too special.

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verymelancholic

Where do you even get the rings?

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I got mine on eBay, it's slightly too big and pretty plain, but it was cheap and one day I'll get myself a much nicer one :) 

 

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Celyn: The Lutening

Did we ever get a census thread for this? I'd like to see what proportion of AVENites wear it.

 

As for me, I'm openly ace and wear it all the time. I bought it as a keeper before I worked out I was Ace-spec, for a white-gold ring with blue and clear stones in, that I wore on my right middle finger without knowing what the black ring symbolised. I lost the white gold ring around the same time as I joined AVEN and learned about the ace ring, so I just kept wearing the black on its own.

 

Never seen anybody else wearing one, but I'd happily answer the questions of anyone who asked about it :)

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I wear mine just about everyday. The only times I don't is at work and while working out. At work I had to use some cleaning product to clean the register and I was allergic to it. I couldn't have it getting stuck underneath my ring so I stopped wearing my ring to work. 

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The only time I don't wear mine is if it's too hot(because I don't typically wear rings when it's hot, but necklaces and bracelets I wear any chance I get) or it's been sent off for repairs!

Regards,

Rosendust

(AKA Nova)

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5 hours ago, depressolation said:

Where do you even get the rings?

Some reputable places are Amazon, Etsy(if you want something more custom) and EBay!

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7 hours ago, depressolation said:

Where do you even get the rings?

Anywhere you can buy a ring, really. Just gotta find a ring you like.  I bought mine on amazon, but I think some folks even got one at a gas station.

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