Neri

How common is the black ring?

Recommended Posts

Neri

So I've been wondering how common the black ring on middle finger - symbol of asexuality - actually is? I've personally never seen a person wearing one, though I've only been paying attention/known about the meaning of it for six months or so.

I'm just curious if anyone has ever met a fellow asexual and started to talk to them just because of the ring. Or is it still so unknown symbol and are there still so few asexuals with rings that it is very unlikely to run into someone wearing it.

Also question to people who are wearing the black rings: has anyone (asexual or not) ever recognized it and come to talk to you because of it? If so, what kind of conversations has it evoked?

The idea of finding fellow asexuals through a symbol like that sounds really fascinating to me. I'd like to know if that actually happens. ^_^

  • Like 9

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
idek

I've been wondering that too. I have never seen an asexual wearing a black ring. In fact I've never met any asexual irl. So i'm not a very good resource.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
SkyWorld

Well, I knew one person who is asexual (who happened to be a friend of a friend) and we talk sometimes. This was before I even knew about asexuality and I don't think they have either. I moved schools and made a visit back and we both had our black rings on our right middle finger, so... Not sure if that counts since I knew them before we got rings.

Nobody else has recognized it though.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Elluna Hellen

i don't have one. I don't know how common it is, I don't think I know any asexuals in real life.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Pengwyn

I know a guy who wears a black ring on his right middle finger. I'm planning on asking him when we go hiking in a month (since won't see him before then and didn't want to ask him infront of all his friends).

I don't wear an ace ring, as I have never worn rings before and think it would raise too many questions all of a sudden, and I'm not ready to come out. I think that if I do get one, it will be after I come out to those close to me or when I go away to university, probably the latter.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Charcoal face paint

Okay so when I very first found out about asexuality I was like oh yeah, that fits me pretty well, then I found out about aromanticism and was like oh shit, that fits me too (not knowing that you can be both aromantic and asexual and not doing enough research as I should've) and so for about a year I was kind of stuck between am I this one or this one. Then completely by coincidence, I was on a school trip and on the second day they gave us time to go do some shopping an there was a deal on for rings so I went and bought a black ring (because I love black) and then just so happened to put it on my middle finger. I then came back and was showing the things I bought to this guy in my group who I'd never really talked to before then and he was like "OMG asexual ring!!" and then he had to come out to our biology teacher and do this passionate speech about how he'd been identifying as ace for 5 years and really wanted a ring so that we could run back to the shop and buy him one too. We spent the whole rest of the trip spending as much time with each other as we could and then when we got back, we've remained friends however we don't see each other a lot due to different lessons and being friends with different people/different friendship groups. A few weeks ago, he lost the ring we got on the school trip and so I gave him one of the ones from my quite extensive collection.

It's kind of funny because it would have been so easy for that opportunity to have been missed (I nearly didn't even go on that trip and it was only by chance I saw the rings in the first place and by chance I was put in the same group as the guy) and for me still now to have been questioning and not fully informed about what asexuality and aromanticism are. I went that night and spent hours researching and as soon as I saw that you could be aromantic and asexual I was like, yep that's me 100% and now it's a big part of who I am and I've come out to most of my friends now (not my family) and I'm openly ace at school and try to educate people about it if I see an opportunity.

  • Like 16

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
AndrogynousLuve

I'd like to wear one if I find it in the store. I want to be open about my sexuality and send signs to other aces cause I dont see another way of finding them in real life.

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Custos

I haven't ever seen anyone wearing a black ring on their middle finger (during the time I was fully aware of asexuality) but I'm planning to get one very soon as others have told me that during meet-ups, several people wear them :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
NudistOnStrike

I wear one, but have never seen anyone else who does. I have had people ask me questions about it before, but since I am an awkward little ace who isn't all the way out of the closet I just make up some meaning, say I just like it, or answer sarcastically (my finger has decided to become goth)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Danna

I wear one, but need to get a new one. I haven't met anyone else who is ace, I wear it in hopes of someone else knowing what it means and that they might have one.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
deltaX

Since I found out about asexuality and started looking for it, I've noticed a few people who regularly or semi-regularly wear black rings on their middle fingers, but I've never had the courage to ask them if they were ace, so to them it could have meant something else entirely.

I've been wearing a black ring for about a year now, and no one has ever even asked about it, much less connected it to asexuality. While there certainly must be people out there who know about the symbolism, I wouldn't wear the ring if my only goal was for others to know about my asexuality. To me, wearing a black ring serves as a remind to myself that although I may feel alone in my feelings sometimes, there is a whole community of people who agree I am normal. It connects me to the asexual community that I've become so attached to, and that to me is more important than others figuring out my sexuality.

  • Like 13

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
thatotherguy57

I wear a ring. I have not noticed anyone wearing a black ring on the right middle finger since I've known about asexuality. I have had one person comment on it, but it was due to the fact that my ring is actually a wedding band (such delicious irony), not asking if I was asexual.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
The Void Walker

I know a guy who wears a black ring on his right middle finger. Without mentioning asexuality, I asked him what it meant.

"So I can tell the world to fuck off" was his response. I kinda think most people assume I wear my ring for the same reason.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
QuetzalDreams

I've been wearing a black ring since not long after I fully realized by asexuality (so, maybe a year?) but I've only ever been asked if it had meaning once. Unfortunately, the person asking was my lab partner and between being in the middle of an experiment and not being entirely confident in "coming out" just then, I kind of brushed it off with an awkward "It does, but now's not really the time to talk about it." There weren't any follow-up questions after that and no one else has said anything or asked about it since.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
FictoVore.

I think the ace ring is a funny concept after learning that swingers use a black ring on the right hand to identify themselves to other swingers. Imagine wearing your black ring in the hopes of letting people know you are ace, and someone walks up to you and says "hey I see your black ring, want to fuck me, my wife, and our friend?" hahaha.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Forever Dreaming

I know one person who wears a black ring on their middle finger but it's on her left hand. I'm sure it has some significance but I haven't got round to asking what.

I don't think she's an ace but she helped me see what I've been missing for the past twenty-five years, and it was a realisation that led me to this site. Funny how things turn out.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Ysera

I think the ace ring is a funny concept after learning that swingers use a black ring on the right hand to identify themselves to other swingers. Imagine wearing your black ring in the hopes of letting people know you are ace, and someone walks up to you and says "hey I see your black ring, want to fuck me, my wife, and our friend?" hahaha.

Holy shit, is that an actual thing?

I never knew about that and I've been wearing my black ring on the middle finger of my right hand for a long while now.

Welp.

Thankfully, nobody propositioned me with anything like that; at the same time, no ace person noticed it or if they did, they didn't say anything to me about it.

I'm literally the only ace person I know in my area.

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
thatotherguy57

I think the ace ring is a funny concept after learning that swingers use a black ring on the right hand to identify themselves to other swingers. Imagine wearing your black ring in the hopes of letting people know you are ace, and someone walks up to you and says "hey I see your black ring, want to fuck me, my wife, and our friend?" hahaha.

Holy shit, is that an actual thing?

I never knew about that and I've been wearing my black ring on the middle finger of my right hand for a long while now.

Welp.

Thankfully, nobody propositioned me with anything like that; at the same time, no ace person noticed it or if they did, they didn't say anything to me about it.

I'm literally the only ace person I know in my area.

Swingers generally wear theirs on the right ring finger or thumb. It's meant as a conversation starter and means of identifying others, just like our wearing it on the middle finger. Lots of people wear black rings on the right hand just because they like to, and it doesn't mean anything to them.

  • Like 7

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Ysera

I think the ace ring is a funny concept after learning that swingers use a black ring on the right hand to identify themselves to other swingers. Imagine wearing your black ring in the hopes of letting people know you are ace, and someone walks up to you and says "hey I see your black ring, want to fuck me, my wife, and our friend?" hahaha.

Holy shit, is that an actual thing?

I never knew about that and I've been wearing my black ring on the middle finger of my right hand for a long while now.

Welp.

Thankfully, nobody propositioned me with anything like that; at the same time, no ace person noticed it or if they did, they didn't say anything to me about it.

I'm literally the only ace person I know in my area.

Swingers generally wear theirs on the right ring finger or thumb. It's meant as a conversation starter and means of identifying others, just like our wearing it on the middle finger. Lots of people wear black rings on the right hand just because they like to, and it doesn't mean anything to them.

Thanks for the explanation/info.

This is really interesting to know. :o

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
FictoVore.

I think the ace ring is a funny concept after learning that swingers use a black ring on the right hand to identify themselves to other swingers. Imagine wearing your black ring in the hopes of letting people know you are ace, and someone walks up to you and says "hey I see your black ring, want to fuck me, my wife, and our friend?" hahaha.

Holy shit, is that an actual thing?

I never knew about that and I've been wearing my black ring on the middle finger of my right hand for a long while now.

Welp.

Thankfully, nobody propositioned me with anything like that; at the same time, no ace person noticed it or if they did, they didn't say anything to me about it.

I'm literally the only ace person I know in my area.

Swingers generally wear theirs on the right ring finger or thumb. It's meant as a conversation starter and means of identifying others, just like our wearing it on the middle finger. Lots of people wear black rings on the right hand just because they like to, and it doesn't mean anything to them.

It's any finger on the right hand from what I can find online

http://www.sdc.com/swingers-blogs/WHY-WE-WEAR-A-BLACK-RING-ON-OUR-RIGHT-HAND-Blog-45219.html

However there are more articles now where the writers request other swingers avoid the right middle finger out of courtesy for asexuality, which is awesome :3

example: http://readysetgoswinging.com/black-ring-right-hand/

  • Like 6

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Gotsu

I've never seen one before. I'm actually kinda curious to know if it has to be a special ring or just a generic black ring. I'd like to get one eventually.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Ysera

fZITOgW.png

Mine looks like this.

I have a weird looking tiny fist.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
ContainingAllen

My sister is asexual and she wears a black ring on her right middle finger. Nothing special, just a black tungsten carbide band.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
nxyer

I just purchased a black tungsten ring at a swap meet in San Diego when I went there for a visit. I live in Cleveland and went specifically to the swap meet to find a ring.

It was after I purchased the ring that I found online that black rings on the right hand means you are a swinger. It also stated except on the middle finger which means asexuality. Anyone who knows me would know that I am not a swinger.

I am curios if anyone at work will know what it means because I do have friends who are gay and transgender.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
LookingGlassAlice

I have one, but I find jewelry uncomfortable to wear so I don't wear it that often. I also don't really notice rings on people so I have no idea if I've met anyone who had one. I do know several other asexuals in person and I don't think any of them wear one, as far as I know anyway.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Waist of Thyme

It depends on where you are. On Earth, finding one is basically random chance. On Mars, all you have to do is dig into the ground with a shovel and you'll find hundreds of them. Saturn is deceptive because although it has rings, none of them are black. In some solar systems, they don't even exist at all. In some others, they're used as currency to buy furry burritos.

  • Like 8

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
uRBAN_Spaceman

I have a black ring of aceness and I wear it 24/7. I personally don't really notice things like jewelry on other people so I have yet to see somebody else wearing one in person. I've had a few people outside of my friends and family inquire about my ring. Most have assumed its a swinger ring.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
fogsedge

I didn't know about the black ring thing, but am not enthusiastic. I'm not social, most of the people I'm around are pretty conservative, and I doubt anyone I know would 'get it'.

Plus I don't like any finger rings. They collect dirt when you work in the garden and catch on stuff in the shop.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Punk Floyd

I think it's a bit pointless. It's not exactly anyone else's business, is it? It's not even very important to me. I don't feel the need to wear something that shows everyone that I'm asexual.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Pengwyn

I think it's a bit pointless. It's not exactly anyone else's business, is it? It's not even very important to me. I don't feel the need to wear something that shows everyone that I'm asexual.

To a lot of people, it's not about showing others that you are asexual. Most people I've seen say that they wear it to feel a sense of comfort in knowing that there are others like them, even if they don't know any other aces in real life. I personally don't wear a ring, but I would like to for this reason.

  • Like 7

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now