Guest Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 Basically, casual sex can be a social activity, it can be fun, it can be a way to meet people (i know i know but still)... personally, I've mostly done it for the stories or for revenge. Sexual attraction has very little to do with casual sex because you know you want it before finding a person... the draw is to the action, not the person. You simply find a person to help fulfill the act, more or less. Oh also there's the ego boost. Of course for any of this to make sense, you have to be at worst indifferent to sex. I've never had an upsetting or traumatising sexual experience. I've done things I would never, ever do again, but it wasn't upsetting or hurtful or anything. I just... I just view sex as a physical action, like riding a bike. If that's not your perspective, casual sex will be impossible to understand (i think?). Link to post Share on other sites
ithaca Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 What's with all the posts of "don't do it" and "are you really sure?"? it's not like the OP is saying he wants to harm himself. The OP asks "how do you manage to get casual sex, since I feel like trying?" (or something along those lines). In my opinion, if you're not here to help answer the OP's question, no one was asking for moral judgements... Link to post Share on other sites
ithaca Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 Oh and also, OP, at least try not to end up posting things like this on the street afterwards :P And I swear it's not photoshop, I took that pic myself a few hours ago XD Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 Consent: Yes, if you go out and intentionally get drunk to have sex, and then do it, that's consent. That was a decision you made. I personally do not subscribe to the "if you're drunk its rape" philosophy because that would make 99% of my sex rape, and i can tell you for certain... it wasn't. I get the "I was so wasted I had no idea what I was doing anymore and someone manipulated that to get sex from me when I was barely even conscious" being rape (that girl/guy that just had way too many and no longer has the ability to say no even if you asked "Do you want to come to my place and become axe murder victim #5?"). But, yeah, I agree with you on the "you can't consent when drunk"... legally drunk is pretty low on the drunk meter and most people still know what they're doing at least somewhat. And if you went to the bar specifically to get drunk and have sex, well...you obviously did want sex while sober too. Most people I know have done the drunken hook up thing at least once. Link to post Share on other sites
Wyrmcraft Posted June 3, 2015 Author Share Posted June 3, 2015 Well for one thing I've got a few months before I can drink :P, so clubbing isn't the best option. Currently 20ish, at least for another 3 months. Besides, I don't really want Alcohol to factor into my decision here. If I can't lower my inhibitions myself then I really shouldn't be doing this, now should I?But yeah, I think I need to give it a try. I am demi/grey-romantic but touch for me is so...intense. Physical contact is really important to me, and I want to explore that and try to solidify some body and self-confidence. I feel like I need to at least try this, you know? I may regret it, and I can honestly tell you that I'm not sure what I'm doing. Which is the point really, I don't know...so I want to give things a try and find out. Link to post Share on other sites
ithaca Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 Well for one thing I've got a few months before I can drink :P But yeah, I think I need to give it a try. I am demi/grey-romantic but touch for me is so...intense. Physical contact is really important to me, and I want to explore that and try to solidify some body and self-confidence. I feel like I need to at least try this, you know? I may regret it, and I can honestly tell you that I'm not sure what I'm doing. Which is the point really, I don't know...so I want to give things a try and find out. Well obviously everyone has different experiences, so you'll have to try your own. As far as my experience goes, I tried sex with someone I liked, mostly because I wanted to experiment and because also, for me like you, physical touch gives me so many strong feelings. I enjoyed my experience, had sex various time (always with that person, for now), and haven't regretted it. I've learned a lot more about my own body, others' body, and things I like and dislike. Link to post Share on other sites
Autumn Season Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 Also if your wasted and can't remember much of what went on, how does that make the sex satisfying? You mean: How was the sex satisfying in a long run, right? I would say that the body remembers the act and is satisfied on a long term (doesn't crave sex anymore). The mind forgets though. BTW I love your questions because they remind me so much of how I used to think a few months ago. xD Oh and also, OP, at least try not to end up posting things like this on the street afterwards :P And I swear it's not photoshop, I took that pic myself a few hours ago XD Well obviously Marcus was superman and flew away after he saved the day... night. ^^ Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Jade Cross Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 Also if your wasted and can't remember much of what went on, how does that make the sex satisfying? You mean: How was the sex satisfying in a long run, right? I would say that the body remembers the act and is satisfied on a long term (doesn't crave sex anymore). The mind forgets though. BTW I love your questions because they remind me so much of how I used to think a few months ago. xD Yes. I'm interested in the process and outcomes/desires of it and how it all works out. Link to post Share on other sites
Autumn Season Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 Oh and also, OP, at least try not to end up posting things like this on the street afterwards :P And I swear it's not photoshop, I took that pic myself a few hours ago XD Read the twitter messages if you have time. ^^ They're hilarious. Link to post Share on other sites
ithaca Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 Oh and also, OP, at least try not to end up posting things like this on the street afterwards :P And I swear it's not photoshop, I took that pic myself a few hours ago XD Read the twitter messages if you have time. ^^ They're hilarious. Oh please link??? Me and twitter, that mystery... Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Jade Cross Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 Of course for any of this to make sense, you have to be at worst indifferent to sex. I've never had an upsetting or traumatising sexual experience. I've done things I would never, ever do again, but it wasn't upsetting or hurtful or anything. I just... I just view sex as a physical action, like riding a bike. If that's not your perspective, casual sex will be impossible to understand (i think?). Well, I'm at least hoping that this not be the case. Right now, yes I don't understand it and right now I have a more negative view of it for my personal understanding. However, I like to be thorough in my understanding of things and there is a factor of wanting to feel comfortable in my own skin and be sure that I have, without the shadow of a doubt proven to myself that my final (or closes to) view of it is accurate and not a product of (fear based) conditioning as sex has always been presented to me as bad, regardless of the circumstances. Also, I wish to avoid falling into the cycle of resolving these types of matters by simply demonizing them. I have seen that alot of problems spur from misconceptions and poor communication between people and I confess I have been at fault here too which just drives me more to try and find an understanding of this. This is why so far, I can't call myself an ace yet. I don't mean the title, I mean whats behind it. And if there's one thing Ive learn through my study of human behavior (I'm no expert, i just do it to satisfy my curiosity) is that things can appear one way and completely be another. For instance, lets say that to be ace I have to have 100 identical traits to all other aces and I start counting them and find that I only have 60 or 80+. Likewise the same holds true in reverse. If to be sexual I have to share 100 traits but do less than that, then I can't call myself sexual (again not the title but what it implies.) Link to post Share on other sites
Autumn Season Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 Oh and also, OP, at least try not to end up posting things like this on the street afterwards :P And I swear it's not photoshop, I took that pic myself a few hours ago XD Read the twitter messages if you have time. ^^ They're hilarious. Oh please link??? Me and twitter, that mystery... https://twitter.com/search?q=%23FindMarcus&src=tyah xD Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Jade Cross Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 Of course for any of this to make sense, you have to be at worst indifferent to sex. I've never had an upsetting or traumatising sexual experience. I've done things I would never, ever do again, but it wasn't upsetting or hurtful or anything. I just... I just view sex as a physical action, like riding a bike. If that's not your perspective, casual sex will be impossible to understand (i think?). Well, I'm at least hoping that this not be the case. Right now, yes I don't understand it and right now I have a more negative view of it for my personal understanding. However, I like to be thorough in my understanding of things and there is a factor of wanting to feel comfortable in my own skin and be sure that I have, without the shadow of a doubt proven to myself that my final (or closes to) view of it is accurate and not a product of (fear based) conditioning as sex has always been presented to me as bad, regardless of the circumstances. Also, I wish to avoid falling into the cycle of resolving these types of matters by simply demonizing them. I have seen that alot of problems spur from misconceptions and poor communication between people and I confess I have been at fault here too which just drives me more to try and find an understanding of this. This is why so far, I can't call myself an ace yet. I don't mean the title, I mean whats behind it. And if there's one thing Ive learn through my study of human behavior (I'm no expert, i just do it to satisfy my curiosity) is that things can appear one way and completely be another. For instance, lets say that to be ace I have to have 100 identical traits to all other aces and I start counting them and find that I only have 60 or 80+. Likewise the same holds true in reverse. If to be sexual I have to share 100 traits but do less than that, then I can't call myself sexual (again not the title but what it implies.) I apologize in advance if during future threads I make alot of questions. Link to post Share on other sites
ithaca Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 https://twitter.com/search?q=%23FindMarcus&src=tyah xD Yep, that's what you find in my neighbourhood XD /off topic Link to post Share on other sites
WhenSummersGone Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 To be honest if I wanted to feel more confident I would buy new clothes, get my hair and makeup done then get some professional photos taken. Casual sex never did do anything for me other than having some company for awhile, maybe I should have been drunk lol. However if someone wants to try it then I support that, to each their own. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted June 4, 2015 Share Posted June 4, 2015 And if there's one thing Ive learn through my study of human behavior (I'm no expert, i just do it to satisfy my curiosity) is that things can appear one way and completely be another. Very much agree. Anyway, it's just sex, it's really not that big a deal so if you want to try it (and I'm always in support of experimentation), then you should. If you're going into it with the mindset that it's just an experience you want to be able to log into your book, it shouldn't make you feel regret or anything because your goal will have been satisfied. Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Jade Cross Posted June 4, 2015 Share Posted June 4, 2015 And if there's one thing Ive learn through my study of human behavior (I'm no expert, i just do it to satisfy my curiosity) is that things can appear one way and completely be another. Very much agree. Anyway, it's just sex, it's really not that big a deal so if you want to try it (and I'm always in support of experimentation), then you should. If you're going into it with the mindset that it's just an experience you want to be able to log into your book, it shouldn't make you feel regret or anything because your goal will have been satisfied. I'd have to first see where I stand on it after time analyzing as I don't want to make a hasty decision that I will later regret. Link to post Share on other sites
butterflydreams Posted June 4, 2015 Share Posted June 4, 2015 This thread is...it's...hmmm...I...nope thought I had it but I don't. Don't know what to add for you, Wyrmcraft, sorry. Do people who've done the casual sex think really think it's something anyone could do? Link to post Share on other sites
ithaca Posted June 4, 2015 Share Posted June 4, 2015 Do people who've done the casual sex think really think it's something anyone could do? I'm confused by your question, Hadley. You're asking if people who HAVE done casual sex think that anyone could DO it? Countless people happily have casual sex all the time, that's what most of dating apps and the clubbing scene is for. Link to post Share on other sites
Corretto Posted June 4, 2015 Share Posted June 4, 2015 @Wyrmcraft...Try the centuries-old alternative. Cut out the clubs-crap and the drugs [alcohol] dribble and the concern for consent. There all irrelevant...just pop into the local massage parlour and meet with a pleasant sex-worker, who you'll never have to meet again. Have your 'learning experience'; a fuck-for-fuck's sake, as casual as you can afford. But don't forget to take your Visa card and pay the guy at the desk! Good luck but I don't think you'll need it. Link to post Share on other sites
Philip027 Posted June 4, 2015 Share Posted June 4, 2015 Countless people happily have casual sex all the time, that's what most of dating apps and the clubbing scene is for. Yes, but it still isn't something for everyone, and I think a lot of times people are (in)directly pressured into it by the people who think that it is. Like, me, for instance? I'm pretty certain I couldn't do it. Not even just that I don't want to, but that I couldn't. For me, arranging such an encounter would only lead to tears for both parties. Link to post Share on other sites
ithaca Posted June 4, 2015 Share Posted June 4, 2015 Countless people happily have casual sex all the time, that's what most of dating apps and the clubbing scene is for. Yes, but it still isn't something for everyone, and I think a lot of times people are (in)directly pressured into it by the people who think that it is. Like, me, for instance? I'm pretty certain I couldn't do it. Not even just that I don't want to, but that I couldn't. For me, arranging such an encounter would only lead to tears for both parties. Well, countless people doesn't remotely imply everyone. :) Countless people like cheesy romantic movies, but not everyone, right? Link to post Share on other sites
Mycroft is Yourcroft Posted June 4, 2015 Share Posted June 4, 2015 My answer has pretty much been covered by other people already :) The clubbing scene seems to be the easiest way, and possibly a little less awkward than sites like OKcupid/apps like Grindr if you're trying out casual hooking up for the first time? I'm asexual, and would be quite happy to have casual sex if I meet someone appropriate one drunken fun night out. There's been cases before where I would've gone home with someone, but every time I learnt something sudden that put me right off them (in the last case, I learnt from the person's friends that they were politically conservative *shudders* ). Skulls explained it better than I ever could :lol: Basically, casual sex can be a social activity, it can be fun, it can be a way to meet people (i know i know but still)... personally, I've mostly done it for the stories or for revenge. Sexual attraction has very little to do with casual sex because you know you want it before finding a person... the draw is to the action, not the person. Link to post Share on other sites
butterflydreams Posted June 4, 2015 Share Posted June 4, 2015 Do people who've done the casual sex think really think it's something anyone could do?I'm confused by your question, Hadley. You're asking if people who HAVE done casual sex think that anyone could DO it? :huh:Countless people happily have casual sex all the time, that's what most of dating apps and the clubbing scene is for. Ugh, typo! Yeah, I was just wondering if people thought that anyone could do it, or learn to do it. It seems too foreign a concept to me for it to ever be anything I could do. Even if it's just another "fun social activity". Link to post Share on other sites
Fire & Rain Posted June 4, 2015 Share Posted June 4, 2015 I'm not even sure how people do causal hugs with people they know. So lol Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted June 4, 2015 Share Posted June 4, 2015 Yeah, I was just wondering if people thought that anyone could do it, or learn to do it. It seems too foreign a concept to me for it to ever be anything I could do. Even if it's just another "fun social activity". I think it would be either impossibly awkward or legitimately traumatizing for some people. But if someone is down to try, it's really nothing more than a couple hours one night, so I say, just do it if you feel so inclined. :) Link to post Share on other sites
butterflydreams Posted June 4, 2015 Share Posted June 4, 2015 Yeah, I was just wondering if people thought that anyone could do it, or learn to do it. It seems too foreign a concept to me for it to ever be anything I could do. Even if it's just another "fun social activity". I think it would be either impossibly awkward or legitimately traumatizing for some people. But if someone is down to try, it's really nothing more than a couple hours one night, so I say, just do it if you feel so inclined. :) Heh, I (reluctantly) consider myself sex averse, and probably repulsed, so I can pretty easily imagine it'd be legitimately traumatizing. I guess I don't like feeling that being that way makes me inferior. I mean, I know it doesn't mean that, but it's still a long-held feeling I've had. I don't suppose you could have like "casual cuddles" or anything right? And (pardon my ignorance) but why would someone prefer casual sex over masturbation? If it's solely about feeling good (little to no intimacy), isn't masturbation a far quicker and easier prospect? Link to post Share on other sites
Wyrmcraft Posted June 4, 2015 Author Share Posted June 4, 2015 Yeah, I'm wary of the online scene, there are too many stories of things going wrong...so clubbing was more on my mind, despite the fact that I can't walk into a club yet :P Link to post Share on other sites
Squirrel Combat Posted June 4, 2015 Share Posted June 4, 2015 I wouldn't try casual sex. No way. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted June 4, 2015 Share Posted June 4, 2015 Yeah, I'm wary of the online scene, there are too many stories of things going wrong...so clubbing was more on my mind, despite the fact that I can't walk into a club yet :P You can try book clubs. Chess groups .. You can find so many groups. Offline, and that will help you meet people. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.