Wyrmcraft Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 I've been wondering about this lately, which is a little weird. For a long time I was against casual sex, but I've been opening up to the idea as a way to gain a bit of body confidence. The main problem is that I've been a goodie two shoes for a very long time, I have no idea how I'd even find someone let alone how to proposition them. Especially because I've always been a gentleman and I can only picture myself falling on my face if I were to try and "hit on" someone I'm not currently dating. So, is anyone willing to talk about their experiences or offer tips? Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 Casual sex is easy peasy. Go to a club. Get wasted. Find someone else wasted. Proceed to fuck. If you're a dude it's going to be harder because girls pretty much have their choice... but regardless it shouldn't be too hard. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 As a virgin. I want to save my stuff for marriage. I know that is odd. I am even thinking of getting a book on a subject just get ideas. Link to post Share on other sites
~RedArcher Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 Are you sure you want casual sex and the many many risks that go with it to be your boost in body confidence? I'm not against casual sex but I'd never ever do it, myself. Far too many things that can happen before you even get to the bedroom, let alone what could happen while you're in there. (Sorry I couldn't be of any help in the way that you wanted. I'm a nervous Nellie and I'd just fear for your health/safety at this point) Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 Meh. It's no riskier than almost anything else you do during the day. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 Casual sex is not a good way to raise your body awareness. You would better discover it by yourself and if you want to have sex, you should find the person who you will feel comfortable with. Raising body awareness is just trying to discover your reactions. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 Go to bar/club. Start talking to person you find attractive, or that seems nice. After talking a bit, ask if they want to go somewhere more private. Or, go to OKcupid, chat some people up, proceed to meet up for sex. Or, craigslist has tons of ads for casual sex only encounters. Or, tindr is a hookup app. Or... Yeah there are a lot of options for casual sex. Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Jade Cross Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 Although I'm not looking for sex, I have wondered about this myself. I know alot of people say to get wasted and that that's the solution but I can't wrap my head around that either. I don't like alcohol so maybe that's why?? I guess I also can't understand the concept of wanting sex so seeking casual one is kind of a mystery to me. Link to post Share on other sites
ShogunV2 Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 Basically, you get hammered, throw your inhibitions out the window, indulge your primal urges until you are satisfied and then regret it in the morning when you're sober again. And so the cycle goes for most. Link to post Share on other sites
Autumn Season Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 So casual sex is impossible when you're sober? Link to post Share on other sites
The Ace Otaku Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 So casual sex is impossible when you're sober? well it can happen for some people if they are desperate Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 So casual sex is impossible when you're sober? Mostly. Link to post Share on other sites
ShogunV2 Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 So casual sex is impossible when you're sober? Of course not. No more impossible than unlocking your front door when you are drunk. It just takes a bit more effort I suppose. Not that I'd know BTW. It's just that 90% of casual sex is pursued in places where people drink. A lot. Or intend to drink. A lot. Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Jade Cross Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 Wait, why would you have sex while wasted just to regret it in the morning? Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 That's not the intention, it's just the side effect. For some people, anyway. I've not regretted it personally. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 So casual sex is impossible when you're sober? Mostly. How so, though? Do you feel like being wasted makes you less inhibited? Can you even consent to sex when you're wasted? Also I'm not at all a bar person and online dating seems umm kinda scary to me *shrug* Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Jade Cross Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 Also if your wasted and can't remember much of what went on, how does that make the sex satisfying? Link to post Share on other sites
ShogunV2 Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 Wait, why would you have sex while wasted just to regret it in the morning? Because perceptions and thought processes are altered and non-normative during heavy intoxication. It's not that people choose to regret it, it's simply a matter of being in a different mindset during and after the fact and being aware that you might have done something you wouldn't necessarily do while not intoxicated. People don't always feel that way. Others often do. Depends on the individual. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 So casual sex is impossible when you're sober? No, it isn't. It's just easier when you're drunk, due to lowered inhibitions. Some people don't have many inhibitions when it comes to sex in the first place though, so don't need them lowered. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 Also if your wasted and can't remember much of what went on, how does that make the sex satisfying? Casual sex has never been physically satisfying for me, but regardless, remembering it or not doesn't change how enjoyable it was at the time. Consent: Yes, if you go out and intentionally get drunk to have sex, and then do it, that's consent. That was a decision you made. I personally do not subscribe to the "if you're drunk its rape" philosophy because that would make 99% of my sex rape, and i can tell you for certain... it wasn't. Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Jade Cross Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 So if I want sex and get intoxicated and later retreat it, does that mean I didn't want the sex in the first place? After all if I got what I wanted, why would it feel like something to regret regardless of how it came to pass? Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Jade Cross Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 Umm I'm getting more confused. How is it physically not satisfying yet enjoyable?? Link to post Share on other sites
ShogunV2 Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 Listen to Maid. She obviously knows the way of it. I especially agree on the consent part though. We are aware of our intentions beforehand. Being intoxicated doesn't change the initial intention. "You can't consent when drunk" is a ridiculously dangerous sentiment. Push it far enough and sooner or later we'd have more alleged rapists in prison than actual criminals. Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Jade Cross Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 I'm listening but,I'm not getting it. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 Have you ever eaten something and then afterward you were like... WHY DID I EAT THAT WHOLE THING? Same idea. You wanted it at the time, but once that desire/ drive wears off, you're in a whole new state of mind and prior acts can take on a different character. There's more to having casual sex than orgasm. Survey results show that women in particular really don't orgasm much from casual sex (no way I could... no way... can't let go like that with a stranger), but that doesn't make the whole thing a waste. Link to post Share on other sites
ShogunV2 Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 So if I want sex and get intoxicated and later retreat it, does that mean I didn't want the sex in the first place? After all if I got what I wanted, why would it feel like something to regret regardless of how it came to pass? Like I said, different state of mind at different times. Like taking a shit. During the act of shitting itself you don't think about anything but getting it done and relieving the urge. Once it's out of your system, taking a shit is the last thing on your mind. Obviously you wouldn't regret taking a shit, unless you were drunk as hell and shat on the carpet or something. I dunno. Lol. Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Jade Cross Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 But then that makes the whole thing void doesn't it? If you do it and later do not find the satisfaction in it? Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 Have you ever eaten something and then afterward you were like... WHY DID I EAT THAT WHOLE THING? Same idea. You wanted it at the time, but once that desire/ drive wears off, you're in a whole new state of mind and prior acts can take on a different character. There's more to having casual sex than orgasm. Survey results show that women in particular really don't orgasm much from casual sex (no way I could... no way... can't let go like that with a stranger), but that doesn't make the whole thing a waste. I have a lot to learn. It has taken me a while to understand.*TMI* I would the type of person that would try and try to cause an orgasm. But that is just me. I need an emotional connection before the sex. I cannot stand the idea of groups and bars. I would be the guy who seeks attention. I would want to try so many things. All these things would only matter if I am married to said person. Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Jade Cross Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 Umm I don't think the taking a dump analogy is very helpful. Usually not doing that will cause you extreme discomfort and pain. Unless you tell me that people want to feel pain out of not having sex. Link to post Share on other sites
ShogunV2 Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 Umm I don't think the taking a dump analogy is very helpful. Usually not doing that will cause you extreme discomfort and pain. Unless you tell me that people want to feel pain out of not having sex. Nothing to do with the physiological implications of either act. The analogy serves to get one singular point across, mindset and priority during the present time. In that moment. During casual sex, the only thing you think about is the sex itself. Your mindset is focused on the act. After it has been concluded, not so any more. Maybe someone else can explain it better. Link to post Share on other sites
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