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GaiaLove

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GaiaLove

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Platitude

Have you ever heard of Lesbian Bed Death? It's a theory by some sociologist (forgot their name) that states that statistically women in lesbian relationships are less likely to have sex or intimate moments as their relationships progress. I'm pretty sure that information isn't exactly helpful, but perhaps this is a common occurrence. I'll refrain from giving advice to avoid ultracrepidarianism, but I'm sure someone who's more knowledgeable than me on this subject will chime in. I wish the best of luck to you and your partner.

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skullery

One thing that jumped out at me... when she asked you if it's a problem if she never goes back to normal... I'm pretty sure that's an anxiety-based question. You don't want her actively trying to get her sex drive back. That becomes a nightmare very quickly... she'll get stressed out, she'll feel like she's disappointing you, you will be disappointed, and the whole topic of sex will become darkened by this "she needs to be fixed" cloud. My guess is that a normal lull could be making her feel a disproportionate pressure to perform, which is actually making it harder to perform. Of course, this is all just pure speculation on my part.

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GaiaLove

Thank you so much for your feedback Skullery Maid!

I agree with this just being a normal lull. I guess I'll just have to be patient and wait to see how things unfold.

I definitely do not want to make her feel like she needs fixing.

It has happend though, only in two ocassions, when she gives me pleasure but I won't climax as soon as she would want me to and gets unmotivated and thinks she's not good enough but that's not the case and I've told her. We just have to learn what each other likes and go from there. I hope this is not what's making her anxious to perform.

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skullery

I won't climax as soon as she would want me to and gets unmotivated and thinks she's not good enough but that's not the case and I've told her

Are you the first girl she's slept with?

I've been up and down that whole "too long to climax/ can't climax" thing in the past. Now I always make an upfront verbal agreement that no one is obligated to orgasm and no one should feel bad when it doesn't happen. Because sometimes it doesn't and no one is to blame.

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GaiaLove

No I'm not. She's actually my first female partner.

And yes, I agree completely and tha's specifically what I tell her. I guess we need to make that agreement as well.

Thank you!

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Serran

I won't climax as soon as she would want me to and gets unmotivated and thinks she's not good enough but that's not the case and I've told her

Are you the first girl she's slept with?

I've been up and down that whole "too long to climax/ can't climax" thing in the past. Now I always make an upfront verbal agreement that no one is obligated to orgasm and no one should feel bad when it doesn't happen. Because sometimes it doesn't and no one is to blame.

Yeah... even my male partner doesn't always climax and women are supposed to be way harder to get to orgasm. She shouldn't feel bad if it doesn't happen 100% of the time, or in a timely fashion 100% of the time. :(

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