The Argus - article on Avenguy and someone else from Aven

[Orbit]

I'm not sure who 'Mark' is... but here's what I got in 'google alerts' today:

http://www.insidebayarea.com/timesstar/localnews/ci_3139860

It's pretty fair as far as the interviews - rather surfacy... and the token doc saying 'poo - poo' .

hawke




2013 Mod Edit - For future reference:

Not everyone has to have it. Not everyone even wants it

Emerging community of asexual people talk about a life without sex
Donna Tam - CORRESPONDENT
Posted: 10/21/2005 01:20:26 PM PDT

Twenty-five-year-old Mark Hoemmen doesn't want to get laid.

He doesn't go on dates. He has never even kissed a girl.

And that's how he wants to keep it.

"I'm not into saliva exchange," he said.

The UC Berkley graduate student may be attracted to women, but he doesn't like sex. If a woman comes on to him, he actually feels a little turned off.

Hoemmen is one of the 5,300 members of the Asexual Visibility and Education Network (AVEN), an online asexual community that is growing. Members of the community say they just don't want to have sex.

Today , Hoemmen and AVEN's creator, David Jay, will meet with other asexuals from the Bay Area for a hike and picnic. Hoemmen wants asexuals to feel less alone and have a supportive social network.

Although AVEN welcomes everyone to learning more about asexuality, this weekend's picnic is a small social event for AVEN members only. Some participants are not out yet and are sensitive to outsiders who may just be curious about their lifestyle.

Jay, 23, started AVEN in 2001 to promote public awareness and provide a place for asexuals to talk about their experiences. AVEN members can post on discussion boards and write about their perspectives. The site encourages asexuals to use AVEN as a tool when educating family and friends.

Just as people use terms like straight, gay and bi, Jay and his community identify with the term asexual. To promote asexual pride, AVEN also sells asexual t-shirts with slogans like "Asexuality: It's not just for amoebas anymore," and "No sex, please!" Coming out to family and friends carries the same anxieties and fears as someone who is gay may feel.

When Jay was 14, his friends began to be interested in sex.

"I didn't get what the big deal was. I sat around thinking I was a late bloomer. As a kid I was taught sexuality is this big scary thing-it would take your life, rip it to shreds, and take it to the wind," he said. "I waited and waited around, but nothing was happening, so I began to think about what I am."

Although he had questions about what he felt and where he fit into society, he never questioned his lack of interest in sex. Jay said he doesn't need to have sex to know that he's not interested in it.

"Sexual people don't have to have sex in order to know that they're sexual," he said.

"Thirteen-year-olds don't need to have sex to know they want it."

According to AVEN, each asexual will have a different experience with sexuality. Some experience physical arousal and may masturbate, but do not connect it with sexual attraction to other people. Some may have sexual desire, but it is so little they can ignore it.

While most people can use sexual feelings to distinguish between intimate relationships and friendships, asexuals have to navigate an entirely different arena in which sexual intimacy has lesser value.

Dr. Christopher Carrington, who teaches a class called Variations of Human Sexuality at San Francisco State University, has never heard anyone using asexuality as a sexual orientation.

He does not think that it is biologically possible for a person to not have sexual desires.
"It doesn't fit-doesn't fit what we know about the human creature," he said.

He suggested that there may be underlying mental or emotional issues like sexual violence or abuse. Family history, social relationships and religion should be looked at as well, he said.

But Hoemmen, who is Catholic and has known about his asexuality since he was 7, said it's just the way he is.
"I was never really confused...what I am hasn't changed," he said.

Maggi Rubenstein, a sexologist and a dean at the Institute of Advanced Study of Human Sexuality in San Francisco, thinks a larger study on asexuality is needed. Earlier this month, she had invited Jay to give a lecture on asexuality to her students at the institute.

"Frankly, I hadn't considered his point of view seriously until we talked," she wrote in an email, referring to Jay.

Jay and the Institute have discussed the possibility for new research. Jay hopes having more exposure to the asexual community will allow sexual people to have a different perspective on sex.

He thinks most people exert tremendous energy into their sexual life even if it results in pain. Jay said people should rethink this emphasis on sex.

"Sit down and decide where sexuality is really needed in your life."

For more information on meet ups in the Bay Area, contact Mark Hoemmen at (510) 229-0014. AVEN is online at http://www.asexuality.org.

[Verin]

Quite a nice article and fairly un-biast too, which has always got to be a good thing.

[Wineblood]

Well, if they want to study asexuality and get DJ to do lectures, it can't be a bad thing.