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A list of romantic orientations


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13 hours ago, TheAP said:

Yes.

Thank you, @TheAP

 

My next question is then, can my feelings for this person be fluid? Like for awhile, I thought I had a crush on him but now it feels more like a squish. How do I figure out how to label my feelings towards this person? 

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Tofu Soup with Rice

What would be the name for a woman who is biromantic who can feel romantic feelings to men after meeting them but only feels attraction to other women after knowing her for a while? (So alloromantic when it comes to men but demiromantic when it comes to women).

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What's the difference between and squish and a plush?

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Kaicaterra

Just wanted to say that this was super helpful, I've been looking for something like this for a little while now. It really helped me out. Thanks so much.

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  • 7 months later...

Really helpful, thank you!!! :)

 

Query are people still adding to this? If so I'd like to suggest:

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"Hostiamanticism is when a person feels attracted only to those who view their struggles and accept them.

A hostiamantic will shy away from those who don't validate the way they feel. They will not be romantically or platonically attracted unless they develop a close relationship with someone. 

The hostiamantic flag consists of a laurel wreath, representing peace and acceptance, atop intersecting black and white vertical lines. The lines represent hostiamantic people coming together to support each other and form their nature and their relationship. Typically used by neurodivergent people.

Hostiamantics:

  • Are usually attracted to each other as they can relate well to each other's problems.
  • Sometimes are the victims of abuse, neglect, or denial, or are in some way neurodivergent.
  • Seek affection/attention/validation before they can be attracted."

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On 5/25/2015 at 1:06 AM, Amy Ghost said:

Requi(es)romantic - Is someone who feels little to no romantic attraction due to some mental or emotional exhaustion, the exhaustion might have been caused by bad experiences of romance during that person's history.

I've seen there has been a lot of debate here over requiesromantic so perhaps a more updated definition that focuses more on the spoon theory?

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Requiesromantic (Requis) is a romantic orientation characterized by limited or no sexual attraction/interest/activity due to some form of emotional exhaustion. Emotional exhaustion may be the result of previous sexual endeavors and past experiences dealing with sexuality, or from something else just as emotionally draining.

The romantic orientation has been heavily influenced by "The Spoon Theory", which is a personal story by Christine Miserandino.

 

Tumblr thespoontheory.tumblr.com explains in depth the Spoon Theory. Here are the key points.

"The spoon theory uses a metaphor of spoons to turn energy into a measurable concept. A person living with chronic illness or disability only has a certain number of spoons in their possession each day, and every small action a person takes can result in a lost spoon. Once a person loses a spoon, it is very hard to get that back until after a full night’s sleep. actions like getting out of bed, taking a shower, walking, and driving can require enormous amounts of energy that people don’t have. These chronic illnesses or disabilities can be visible or invisible. You cannot look at a person and tell if they have a chronic illness or disability or not, and these illnesses are not always physical in nature.

Some examples of reasons people might use the spoon theory include:

  • Depression
  • PTSD
  • Functional Neurological Disorder
  • Anxiety disorders
  • Hypothyroidism
  • Fibromyalgia
  • Chronic Fatigue Syndrome
  • POTS
  • Nail-Patella Syndrome
  • Multiple Sclerosis
  • Lupus
  • Endometriosis
  • Autism
  • Cancers (for example, leukemia, leiomyosarcoma)

There are countless other chronic illnesses and disabilities that aren’t listed here! It should also be pointed out that some people may have limited energy in some area of life, but not have a chronic illness or disability. If someone you know has a chronic illness or disability, please take the time to try to understand their condition(s) and work with them to create a healthy and de-stigmatized relationship."

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What do you call a nonbinary person who is exclusively attracted to cis women?

 

Homoromantic doesn't work because my gender isn't woman, and my sex won't be distinguishable as standard female once I have medical intervention.

 

Gyneromantic doesn't work either because, correct me if I'm wrong but....the definition seems to be inclusive of feminine men & non-cis individuals who are feminine and/or identify as a female/woman.

 

What do I call this?  Cisfemromantic?

 

 

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Thanks for posting this, now I know I'm quoiromantic

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On 5/24/2015 at 11:06 AM, Amy Ghost said:

Recipromantic - Is someone who only feels romantic attraction only if the other person feels romantic attraction to them at first

Is there an opposite to this one (which would be someone who only experiences romantic attraction towards people who don’t and have never expressed romantic attraction towards them)?

 

And I don’t mean that the attraction fades if it is reciprocated, like for frayromantics.

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May I suggest you add Oriented Aromantic Asexuals to the list?

 

Oriented Aro Aces identify as gay, straight, pan etc in addition to being aro ace because of the orientation of their platonic attractions.

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On Friday, March 08, 2019 at 4:50 PM, alto said:

May I suggest you add Oriented Aromantic Asexuals to the list?

 

Oriented Aro Aces identify as gay, straight, pan etc in addition to being aro ace because of the orientation of their platonic attractions.

There are orientations for friendships???

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  • 6 months later...

thanks for this list it confirmed for me that panalterous was a real term, and now i can confidently say i am a panalterous aroace 

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On 5/24/2015 at 5:48 PM, Amy Ghost said:

No I understand you too. But I guess we will see.

Or like Quoi, right? I had to explain that several times now

hey y'all. ive been reading this during all of english, and this is a really interesting topic. although a couple of these terms do seem unnecessary, it helps validate people knowing these terms exist. if all of these terms were exposed to the whole world, i bet a lof of other people would identify as these. i appreciate all of your imput on this tho ❤️

 

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Doesn't everybody experience aesthetic attraction? (serious question, sorry if I sound ignorant) I don't see how it's related to your orientation, I thought it was acknowledged simply for it to not be confused with other types of attraction. Is there a term for someone who is aromantic, asensual and doesn't experience squishes, but experiences aesthetic attraction? Or is Omniaromantic a more flexible term and it would include that description?

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On 3/11/2019 at 2:18 AM, General said:

There are orientations for friendships???

I believe the orientation wouldn't refer to friendships but to whom you'd be in QPR's with, with which gender(s) you'd develop relationships with elements traditionally associated with romantic and/or sexual relationships but without the sexual and romantic attraction. At least that is what I understand by alterous or platonic attraction. It would be senseless to have orientations for friendships.

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Would you be able to further explain Schromantic? In that case is the person experiencing plurality in some way?

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just a simple watermelon

Just wanted to say that this helped me to figure out that I am aroflux!! Thank you!!!

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Emily Booker

Hey I have a question, I'm an asexual but I'm not aromantic, I believe it's some type of fluid romantic, some days I'm romantically attracted to males or females or people outside the spectrum but some days I don't want any romantic relationship. Is there a term for this because either I missed it on the list or it isnt there?

Sorry for the intrusion.

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AmorphousBlob
On 5/24/2015 at 11:06 AM, Amy Ghost said:

Hulloo guys! ❤️

I thought the purpose of this topic to make a list of all romantic orientations in use. There are many and it is not easy to find them when you don't know about them. And many web sites accomodate only the basic ones. And then you can be surprised what are others using.

So how about we makea list of those orientations with their definitions to perhaps make it easier for the users?

Since this topic is meant to be for posting romantic orientations and have them all in one place, but also discussing them I put them all here into this first post, so they are not scattered around all around and are easily accesible.

 

Orientations

Abroromantic - Is someone who experiences a fluid or rapidly changing romantic attraction to different gender expressions.

Acoromantic - Is someone whose negative experiences with romance has alienated them from their allo-romanticism.

Adfecturomantic/Affecturomantic/Adfectual/Adfomantic - Is someone whose romantic attraction is affected by their neurodivergency.

Aidoromantic - Aidos was the the goddess of humbleness, respect and modesty. So an Aidoromantic is a person who finds themselves attracted to these qualities in a person only and feels strong aversion towards Egocentrics and arrogance and selfishness all the things that are similar to narcissist behaviours.

Alloromantic/Zedromantic - Is someone who experiences romantic attraction to other people. Also commonly just called a “romantic person.”

Alterous - Is someone who can't be described as neither being (entirely/completely) platonic nor romantic, & is an attraction best described as wanting emotional closeness without necessarily being (at all or entirely) platonic &/or romantic, & is used in the place of -romantic or -platonic (so say bi-alterous instead of bi-romantic).

Someone can be both alterous & romantic &/or platonic & can have varying degrees on attraction, ultimately feel discomfort / unease / or just a sense of inaccuracy in calling it wholly romantic or platonic.

More examples:

  • Androalterous/Manalterous* - Alterous attraction to men and/or masculinity.
  • Gynealterous/ Womanalterous* - Alterous attraction to women and/or femininity.
  • Panalterous - Alterous attraction towards people regardless of sex and gender.
  • Polyalterous - Alterous attraction towards people of more than one multiple sexes and gender, yet not all.
  • Heteroalterous - Alterous attraction towards the opposite sex or gender.

Androromantic -Is someone who is romantically attracted to masculinity, the male sex and male identifying/presenting people.

Apathromantic (The root word being Apathy) - Is someone whose orientation form of "romance indifferent" which can also be used as a title. It does not distinguish if the person does or does not have romantic attraction, but just that they are indifferent in receiving it or acting it out.

Apothiroromantic - Is someone who (also known as anti-romantic, or romance repulsion) is an aromantic that does not experience any romantic attraction whatsoever, in any shape or form, and is romance-repulsed. They do not wish to be in any type of romantic relationship.

Apresromantic - Is someone who only experiences a romantic attraction after another form of attraction is felt. The original attraction may or may not fade/be replaced by the new attraction.

Aroflux - Is someone whose romantic orientation is on the aromantic spectrum & is defined as.....

  • someone who's romantic orientation fluctuates but always stays on the aro spectrum. (ex. one day you're demiro, another day lithro, the next aro, etc)
  • someone who's romantic orientation fluctuates from, experiencing romantic attraction, some romantic attraction, & experiencing no romantic attraction.

some people who are aroflux feel as if they are alloromantic at times, while other aroflux people don't feel that way. aroflux people can be romance repulsed, romance indifferent / neutral/apathetic towards romance, or romance positive. & can have any sexual orientation.

Aromantic - Is someone who does not feel romantic attraction.

Arovague - Is someone whose status as an aromantic is uncertain or affected by mood.

Autochorisromantic/Aegoromantic - Is someone who enjoys the idea of romance, but not wishing to be a participant in romantic activities (based off of autochorissexual / a disconnection between oneself and a romantic target or fantasy).

Bellusromantic - Is someone who is fine with cute fluffy stuff with anyone but you don't want a relationship at all / not necessarily arospec identity, similar to nonamory. The prefix comes from the Italy “bella” meaning “pretty.”

Biromantic - Is someone who enjoys behavior typically associated with dating and love, like cuddling, hugging, gift-giving, love notes, but probably not kissing, etc. and enjoys it with two sexes or genders.

Borearomantic - Is someone who has a set romantic orientation but with an exception.

Burstromantic - Is someone whose romantic attraction comes and goes but does not specify if it has a reason or not.

Caedromantic - Is someone who used to experience romantic attractions, but no longer does due to past trauma.

Cupioromantic - Is someone who is described as aromantic (people who never experience romantic attraction) who still desire a romantic relationship. Is a subset of aromantic.

Demiromantic - Is someone who only experiences romantic attraction after developing an emotional connection beforehand. Demiromantics do not experience primary romantic attraction, but they are capable of secondary romantic attraction.

Frayromantic - Is someone who experiences romantic attraction towards strangers and people you are less familiar with, which fades away when you get to know them more

Grayromantic - Is someone whose romantic orientation is somewhere between aromantic and romantic.

For example, a gray-romantic may:

  • Experience romantic attraction but not very often. But when so, it is usual strong attraction.
  • Experience romantic attraction, but not desire romantic relationships.

Also used as a catch-all for other non aromantic, non alloromantic/zedromantic orientations, like demiromantic and lithromantic.

Gyneromantic - Is someone who is romantically attracted to femininity, the female sex and female identifying/presenting people.

Heteroromantic - Is someone who is attracted to the oppostite sex or gender in a romantic way.

Homoromantic - Is someone who is attracted to the same sex or gender in a romantic way.

Hyperromantic - is someone who is extremely or excessively romantic.

Hyporomantic - Hypo is from Greek and means low. Quite the opposite of Hyper. And as Hyposexual mean low sex-drive, this is it's romantic synonym. Low romantic drive.

Idemromantic - Is someone who does not internally experience romantic and platonic attraction differently; they distinguish between romantic and platonic based on other factors. "Idem" means "the same" in Latin.

Idemromantic people categorize their interest in others as romantic instead of platonic based on age, personality compatibility, emotional closeness, ease of living together, presence of sexual attraction, or other factors. However, their feelings toward their romantic interests would not be particularly distinguishable from platonic feelings and may be similar to how they feel for a best friend or beloved family member. They may pursue platonic, quasiplatonic, romantic, or no relationships.

Lithromantic/Aporomantic/Akoi(ne)romantic - Is someone who can feel a romantic attraction towards others and also enjoy romantic relationships in theory, but not needing that affection to be reciprocated or be in a relationship with the one the feelings are directed towards. Either that, or they may stop feeling the attraction once in a relationship or stop enjoying it.

Note: There is a certain level of controversy linked to the prefix "litho." It was first coined referring to Lesbian Butch culture and some lesbians object to it being appropriated to describe a sexuality/romanticism.

Nebularomantic - Is someone who has a hard time or cannot tell romantic attraction apart from platonic due to being quoiroromantic or due to their neurodivergency.

Noviromantic - Is someone who experiences a complicated romantic attraction (or lack thereof) such that they do not feel it can be described in a single term

Omniaromantic - Is someone who feels no romantic attraction whatsoever. In no way, shape, or form do they fall in love or feel any attraction to anyone.

They are completely non-romantic, and will not fall in love no matter how long they stay with someone or any other factor that could/would lead to a romantic interest in any other type of aromantic or alloromantic relationships. They do not wish to be in any romantic relationships,are not attracted to anyone. (Excepting experimentation.)

They are asensual, have no aesthetic attraction to others, and no squishes. They can experience platonic love or familial love, though not all do so.

This term was made to made a distinguish between being on the aromantic spectrum and specify from the common definition of a aromantic person, since saying someone is "aromantic" could mean they could be demiromantic, gray-aromantic, and such other types of aromantics who do feel sensual, have aesthetic attraction and such.

Panromantic - Is someone who is romantically attracted to others but is not limited by the others sex or gender. Panromantics will tend to feel that their partner's sex and/or gender does little to define their relationship.

Placioromantic - Is someone who feels little to no desire to receive sexual/romantic acts performed on them but expresses interest/desire in performing them on someone else. Not necessarily arospec, but a useful term for the community. The prefix for this term comes from the Latin word “placere” meaning “to please.”

Polyromantic - Is someone who experiences romantic attraction towards people of more than one sex or gender, but not all. Unlike panromantic, this term implies that sex or gender is still a factor in attraction, and it does not imply the gender binary as biromantic does.

Post rubor - Is someone who quickly gets crushes/squishes/etc on others, but after the initial excitement of said crush/etc vanishes so do their feelings.

Proquuromantic - Is someone masculine who only experiences romantic attractions to those perceived as also being masculine.

Quasiromantic - Is someone who identifies as quasiromantic may see their attraction as non-traditional or may feel it differs from crushes, perhaps a mix between platonic, romantic, aesthetic, or somewhere completely different and/or it involves other non-traditional aspects, such as rare attraction, or attraction but non-physical, non-platonic but romantic, etc.

Queerplatonic - A queerplatonic relationship is a relationship that is not romantic but involves a close emotional connection beyond what most people consider friendship. The commitment level in a queerplatonic relationship is often considered to be similar to that of a romantic relationship. People in a queerplatonic relationship may be of any romantic or sexual orientation. It may include any romantic or sexual elements the people in the relationship feel they want, or none at all.

Quoiromantic - Is someone whose romantic orientation is on the aromantic spectrum that describes people who cannot differentiate between platonic and romantic attraction, cannot define romantic attraction and therefore are not sure if they experience it, experience attraction somewhere between romantic and platonic, or want to be in a queerplatonic relationship. It’s also known as WTFromantic or Whatromantic or Platoniromantic.

Recipromantic - Is someone who only feels romantic attraction only if the other person feels romantic attraction to them at first. If there is no one around to feel romantic attraction to them, largely recipromantics may feel like simply defining themselves as aromantic describes their experiences just fine.

Requi(es)romantic - Is someone who feels little to no romantic attraction due to some mental or emotional exhaustion, the exhaustion might have been caused by bad experiences of romance during that person's history.

Sapioromantic - Is someone who is attracted to intelligence or human minds.

Schromantic - Is someone who is aromantic and romantic at the same time, or some mix of the two. (A term used here on AVEN)

(describing romanticism in terms of Schrödinger’s cat as having the possibility of being romantic and aromantic at the same time).

Skilo/Ceteroromantic - Is someone who experiences romantic attraction towards non-binary genders.

Note: There is a certain level of controversy linked to the prefix "skolio." It is very similar to "scolio," which means crooked, twisted or bent. Lately the prefix "cetero" has started to be used instead of "skolio."

Transromantic - Is someone who experiences romantic attraction to people that they perceive as being transgender.

Related helpful terms

Amatonormativity - A tendency of society to treat romantic relationships as more valuable than non-romantic ones.

Aromate - A platonic friend who’s pretty much your soul-mate but in a friend way. you’d totally hold their hand and take them out to movies though. In other words Aromantic partner.

Lush - A sensual equivalent of a squish or crush.

Nonamory - Not wanting to form romantic relationships no matter one's orientation.

Peach Fuzz - When people in queer platonic relationships pretend their partnership is a romantic one to stave off questions from family and friends.

Plush - Queer platonic crush, strong desire to join in a qeer platonic relationship with someone.

Soft Romo - Low level romance/romantic attraction/crush/etc.

Smush - A sexual crush aka Lust.

Swish - An aesthetic crush.

Squish - In the asexual community, the equivalent of a "crush", but explicitly lacking an interest in forming a romantic couple or having a sexual relationship with the person in question. It does not matter if they are "in a relationship", as long as you two can have a deep connection. A squish is an intense feeling of attraction, liking, appreciation, admiration for a person you urgently want to get to know better and become close with. It is different from "just wanting to be friends" in that there is an intensity about it and a disproportionate sense of elation when they like and appreciate you back. ~From Urban Dictionary~

Sorry to comment on like, a ridiculously old post, but I was curious where you got Aidoromantic from? I wasn’t able to find any usages of it outside of this post.

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Janus the Fox

Since this post, we have a simple Lexicon Pinned.  A member can propose a near exhaustive list into Site Comments for Admod consideration.  Proper research is key to any orientation found here, when the OP hasn't been online in over 6 months.  Locking this, but also Pinning this for reference, seems useful if 7 years out of date, new terms may now exist, In Discussions.

 

Janus the Fox

Cover Asexual Relationships, Current Questions about Asexuality, Romantic and Aromantic Orientations, and Site Comments Moderator

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