The Student Room Debates Asexuality

[Hellcat67]

Hey, I was browsing online, and found this. Although it starts positively and there are some people who stand up and put others right, but then, ignorance and disbelief begin to rise. How can people think asexuality doesn't exist? And if they're not saying that, they're putting it down to abuse. Ugh. Any thoughts?

http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=2964143

[<Tom>]

For allosexuals, I imagine sex is a big part of their world. To try and understand someone that doesn't feel sexual attraction must be pretty tough for them, so they give up on it. And to put it down to abuse is just disgusting, to be honest.

[Certified Cake Decorator]

Yeah but i like that there are at least some people correcting others. It's not just an article where no one can comment or anything. I hate those

[Scottthespy]

I have a great way to describe most sexual people's disbelief. Imagine if some one came to you today and told you they don't particularly care for eating food. Just not their thing. You'd think it was impossible, unhealthy (you need to eat to live!), and maybe even that they were just looking for a fancy lable (breathairian) to make themselves look or feel special. Its medicaly well recorded that food is part of the human experience, and not eating it would by definition be unhealthy. There isn any science anywhere that backs up that people CAN go without food and water for monthsd, even years at a time, living off the ambient energy in the air around them. Well, except for a few quack studies that were OBVIOUSLY' biassed, and one case of a medical team following a guy for a few weeks and carefully monitory to see he didnt eat...but that has to be bs, right?

Its pretty much our situation. Current medical research is against our legitimacy, with few sources people are willing to beleive in reporting otherwise, and a situation that's so counterintuitive to those who aren't in it that it flys in the face of all logic to them.

[deltaX]

I only read through the first page of replies, but so far I think this is a positive thing. There were some very hurtful comments and misconceptions, but it looked like there were also a lot of people who knew what they were talking about correcting them.

A space like this might be a good place for allosexuals who do know know much about us to understand why their misconceptions are wrong. Thanks for posting :)

[dissolved]

I spent a lot of time on that site before becoming a student and during my first year or so as an undergrad.

The users are mostly students or parents, so the views on that site are pretty skewed. Parents; older generation and unless they know someone personally who is ace, they're quite likely to fob asexuality off as nonsense. Students are a different matter because they're often young, closed minded and naive (through no fault of their own, they just simply haven't seen enough of the world yet) so it's going to be shitty as they form the other side of users on that site. For the vast majority of students the leaving-home-and-going-to-uni experience is to get absolutely wasted on a regular basis and get it on with as many people as possible, and not worry about studying until the night before their exams start. Yeah, students are often stereotyped this way (I was), but it is founded on truth, and judging by the various students that I lived with for five years, it's a completely justified stereotype. In every student accommodation house/flat/whatever I lived in, two things happened on a regular (almost nightly) basis: people drinking and people fucking each other.

When I told some of my flatmates one year that I wasn't interested in sex, I was met with gasps, confused looks and questions of "but, why not??" and when I said I'd never found anyone attractive they basically didn't believe me. I don't know whether the "norm" is for students to want sex therefore they do it, or because they genuinely want it. And I know sod all about psychology and don't care to find out.

[Rising Sun]

I read only the 4 first pages, I saw only classical ignorant stuff. Nothing that can't be corrected with some results of studies on asexuals. A lot of people believe completely stupid things about asexuality simply because nobody explained asexuality correctly to them.

[TheWheatOne]

Though there are quite a few berating ignorant replies, I've found the majority are open to it which is great. It reminds me of artists that get tons of positive comments about their work, but one person replies its all shit, with no evidence or reason, and suddenly the artist gets depressed at that one comment. Overall, at least from the pages of replies I read, those replies seem great.

One thing to note about asexuality is that it goes against the very nature of the sexual cycle, so it is mind-boggling for the general populous. Don't get too serious with them. It would be like talking about NFL culture to someone from Asia or Africa, or talking scientific terms to a middle-school student.

[Daemien]

Well be glad that you didn't get to page 15. The "debate" there just ended up something like this

Btw both sides looked like this, believe it or not.
Quoting dictionaries and some random psych books that contradict one another and screaming that the other side is wrong.

[LeaveOnYourColours]

Reading that just made me really sad. Like I stopped after two and a half pages. How can people be so afraid of different?

[Skycaptain]

I will try to put myself in the sexual side for a moment. Sadly asexuality is a relatively unknown concept. Most asexuals are completely unaware unless they have received training or know an Ace. Even asexuals may not be aware, I certainly wasn't for decades. Again, asexuality has potential differential diagnoses, so the temptation is there for the unenlightened to take the easiest option, and say we are broken. The only answer is to spread the word.

[R_1]

Well, I'll have to make a huge post against cole-slaw at some point because so many of his philosophies can be debunked. You will see my post over there by Monday to Friday.

And yes, I read all 21 pages.

[Daemien]

Well, I'll have to make a huge post against cole-slaw at some point because so many of his philosophies can be debunked. You will see my post over there by Monday to Friday.

And yes, I read all 21 pages.

A few well lets say pointers (i wanted to make a huge post as well, but i think i'm too bias and too angered by his stupidity to make a constructive debate post):

1. call for removal of dictionaries and psychology books citations, different sources say different things and the debate will just end in a screaming match about whose source is right (as it already has)

2. watch this 7 minute video by day[9]. I love that guy and he makes some GREAT points about debates (this is the main reason i don't want to post there. I just want to win, not collaborate so it's best not to get involved).

3. my opinions are stated in this post, if you have the time and are interested, feel free to read it

4. link to welcome lounge sub forum so that he can see how many, MANY, MANY people are welcomed here every day, their stories and how much they identify on ace spectrum.

5. Make a point about gestures being dictated by culture. If you have the time, research the sociology behind it. (in most of his posts he is asking for a proof that the gesture of romantic love doesn't exists that isn't sexual, but meaning and with/to whom you are doing the gesture is dictated by culture).

6. good lick