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rlib

Hyposexuality

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rlib

I'm quite curious about how people might describe hyposexuality as opposed to full asexuality. Would a hyposexual be someone who might take sex if easily available but not seek it out? Or maybe they're celibate for religious reasons and just find it easier than most?

If the percentage is something like 1% for A, could you expect 5% or more of the population to be hypo?

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Wild Seven

I think that not actively seeking sexual acts but not keeping ownself distanced from them if they occur isn't that bad definition of hyposexuality if it is for explanation to strangers. However, more thought-out, many sexuals don't seek out, but have the impulse for real acting present for the most time. Does that make them not sexual?

So this would mean that hyposexuals can be asexuals AND sexuals, too. Is that the case? I wouldn't like to exclude sexuals from the possibility being hyposexuals if hyposexuality is low sexual desire, sure, but it isn┬Ęt fitting this case, since sexuals are still desiring to act, while hyposexuals IMO might be fine with what is- no acting-.

Also we might think that hyposexuality is about desire and asexuality about attraction, so one could be hyposexual and asexual at the same time, lacking both.

Now my few thoughts:

I think that hyposexuality is the grey area between asexuality and sexuality, by the way- I label it "hypo" rather than "semi".

I might be taken as hyposexual as well. I don't object to label either.

My reasoning goes this way: Shorter definition of "asexual" could be "somebody not experiencing sexual attraction or desire", nonlibidoist "somebody not experiencing anything sexual" and hyposexual "somebody who may be experiencing something sexual but not experiencing the need to react on it", and sexual "somebody experiencing sexual feelings and need to react on them".

Broader definition of "asexual" might be "somebody not interested in having sexual acts with others". And that definition would cover hyposexuals, nonlibidoists as well as asexuals. I go mostly with that def, but if I were pressed to go and choose one stable label for myself for all the time, I'd tick "hyposexual". Otherwise I am everything but sexual, moving on the spectrum as time varies.

and other point, there are only TWO basic orientations; asexuality and sexuality. They can be mixed in interesting ways, but one still prevails and is more dominant than other, nobody is half and half exactly, from what I know of. Hyposexuality might be thought about as one of ways how asexuality can go, but the whole group-asexuality- is the same.

I am sure my explanations are incomplete. The problem is, I don't know which of my explanations is the most fitting. I think that the definition of hyposexuality, as well as sexuality, is still very ambiguous.

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Peix

I kind of identified as hyposexual for a while (and still do, I suppose -- I'm not asexual). For me it means enjoying sex and experiencing sexual attraction to other people but not having it constantly on my mind. I know a lot of my friends will take any opportunity to link something to sex, or always have their eyes open for attractive men/women (and are pretty vocal when they notice them), but I just don't get that.

--El Peix

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Wild Seven

Peix: So you mean hyposexual is the same as gentle sexual, do you? :wink: *curious*. That is too a way of interpretation, I guess that I've heard this before and quite frequently, here on AVEN. Do you feel being gentle sexual, or do you feel yourself somewhere at the way between asexuality and sexuality where the lower end- Aness- isn't your place?

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Peix

I don't think I've ever heard the term "gentle sexual" before. As to how I myself feel, I feel sexual. I just don't feel that I have it on my mind all the time, and it's nice to be able to come somewhere where I'm not expected to (i.e. AVEN). There isn't really any more succinct way I can put that, so I apologise for not doing so.

--El Peix

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Wild Seven

Peix, I doubt you could hear "gentle sexual" since I have just invented it. Smile. I meant it in a describptive way, not in the way prescriptive- it doesn't have further meaning, it just meant that I couldn't find words to describe what I mean, so I put two words together in hope to be understood well.

And thanks for comments, I think I understand what you tried to tell ;) Yeah. Not all sexuals are the same, I like to see the diversity. PS: No apologies needed. ;)

N.

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Amcan
I kind of identified as hyposexual for a while (and still do, I suppose -- I'm not asexual). For me it means enjoying sex and experiencing sexual attraction to other people but not having it constantly on my mind. I know a lot of my friends will take any opportunity to link something to sex, or always have their eyes open for attractive men/women (and are pretty vocal when they notice them), but I just don't get that.

--El Peix

Your comments made sense to me Peix.

It's an ntresting way of looking at it.

I am sure soem of my RL firends and people i know don't have it on their minds all the time but as I discovered I didn't think anyone actually thought about it....and I was wrong...

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AmoebicMe
I kind of identified as hyposexual for a while (and still do, I suppose -- I'm not asexual). For me it means enjoying sex and experiencing sexual attraction to other people but not having it constantly on my mind. I know a lot of my friends will take any opportunity to link something to sex, or always have their eyes open for attractive men/women (and are pretty vocal when they notice them), but I just don't get that.

--El Peix

This is what I've defined hyposexuality as to myself. Good goin' Peix!

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Peix
Peix, I doubt you could hear "gentle sexual" since I have just invented it. Smile. I meant it in a describptive way, not in the way prescriptive- it doesn't have further meaning, it just meant that I couldn't find words to describe what I mean, so I put two words together in hope to be understood well.

And thanks for comments, I think I understand what you tried to tell ;) Yeah. Not all sexuals are the same, I like to see the diversity. PS: No apologies needed. ;)

Aaaaah! OK I get you now. Yeah, I suppose you could call me that :D

--El Peix

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Chronicler

Interesting points all around; Peix, you explained yourself wonderfully (and reemphasized how freaking awesome AVEN is).

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Eta Carinae

I mostly agree with Peix's definition. I'd define hyposexuality as simply a low sex drive. You're attracted, and may even enjoy sex, but it's just not something that you actually want very often. A hyposexual might take easily available sex, though if they're taking it often, they're more on the border between hyposexuality and sexuality. Deliberate celibacy is still an entirely different kettle of fish, though a hyposexual probably would find it easier than the average person.

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KAGU143

I was thinking the other day (honest!) and I started wondering if the "Never" test might help to distinguish between sexuals, hyposexuals and asexuals.

If a person is interested in another, is considering a relationship, and then it is finally made VERY clear that there will NEVER be sex in that relationship, even if it lasts a lifetime, do they:

1) Rejoice and say, "Yay! What a relief! Thank goodness we don't have THAT issue to worry about!"

2) Shrug and say, "Okay, no problem. I still love you and I can take care of myself if I need to"

3) Look horrified and say, "You're kidding, right? What's wrong with you? were you raped or abused? You need professional help, stat!"

4) Look offended and say,"You don't know what you're missing, Babe. Maybe I'll call you sometime ... Nah, don't get up. I can find the door."

I was thinking that a person's honest, carefully considered reaction to the "Never" test would be a strong indicator of whether or not they were really asexual.

Does anybody have any ideas/ opinions?

-Greybird

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Eta Carinae
I was thinking that a person's honest, carefully considered reaction to the "Never" test would be a strong indicator of whether or not they were really asexual.

Does anybody have any ideas/ opinions?

I think it wouldn't be an indicator of asexuality so much as of a lack of personal interest in sex. And yes, asexuality implies a lack of interest in having sex, but (as it's an orientation, not a drive issue), a lack of personal interest in sex doesn't necessarily imply asexuality.

It still may be of some use, though -- for example, someone who's on the borderline between sexual and asexual, and isn't sure if they're attracted to people enough to really consider themselves sexual. In conjunction with other things (like a consideration of their sex drive in general), I think a never test could help people in that situation figure out just how attracted they really are.

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Frigid Pink

Celibate for religious reasons does not equal asexuality.

Celibate for any reason is celibacy.

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Wild Seven

I think that hyposexual indicates grey area, a border- but asexuality or sexuality is stronger one side or the other, just hyposexual is label that might be useful when describing to sexuals/asexuals that you are somewhat mixed with more inclinations toward something. Ie. like we have Kinsey scale including bisexuals, and there are actually at least two points indicating someone is bisexual (Kinsey 5- more homo, Kinsey 2-if I am not mistaken- more hetero. I don't remem' the numbers correctly, sorry.)

So there might be hyposexuals - type one /more asexual/ and hyposexuals-type two /more sexual/, or "soft" asexuals and "soft" sexuals, put in other words... *lending terminology with soft'n'hard from gender identity terms*

Does this ring a bell to anyone? ;) Any objections?

Nat

*any models offered in this post are only hypothetical mash of one person. No intent to hurt or exclude anybody else's right to call themselves anyname.

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Eta Carinae
Does this ring a bell to anyone? Any objections?

It does make sense, though my objection to it is that the spectrum in question has to do with personal interest in sex rather than attraction per se. A hyposexual hetero person is just as hetero as a sexual hetero person. What you've set up isn't an unattracted-sort of attracted-attracted spectrum, it's an uninterested in sex-sort of interested in sex-interested in sex spectrum. And given that I don't think asexuality should be defined in that way, yes, I've got an objection.

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Wild Seven

No, I haven't that completely, Ink. Posted few ideas above what can hyposexual mean, I saw lots of different things-- and I still feel I need to discuss it more. I mean, I can see lots of meanings "hyposexual" can be to the person, but I wanted to present possibilities- not "facts" or even "I said so and it must be that way"- to see what is wrong why such possibilities are or aren't useful. On personal level, all would be useful. I want to see what about more general than just personal level. This is the thing I'd like seriously see debate going on.

That is why I wrote my recent post about soft vs. "hard" sexuality/asexuality, and that post WAS meant to describe attraction, not anything else, while post before were considering possibilities if hyposexual measures any other spectrums than that of attraction.

Huh. Lots about purposes and idealized ways of discussion. I want some real exchange ;)

I wrote in my most recent post " between sexual and asexual"- and definitely, sexual and asexual are terms based on attractions. I think there may be an overlap-sort- of; somebody can be most times asexual with few times sexual based on attraction def... The same as the other way. But perhaps this is where we differ- I take person as sexual or asexual not based on the summary of all attractions they had per se, more so which is prevailent, ie. if somebody feels sexual attraction only few times a year, I'd still consider them as asexual, not sexual. The same goes for reverse. Something that on the AVEN is called semi-sexual, too.... I wonder if semi-and hypo mightn't be the same thing exactly..

Any clearer? ;) How do YOU take it, Ink? ;) Do you look on "ever" ie. if anybody hasn't EVER experienced s. attraction then they are asexual, or you aren't that time-exclusive?

N.

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Philip

I would regard myself as being in the grey area between asexuality and hyposexuality; but more hyposexual than asexual.

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Eta Carinae

Just now getting around to replying to this:

How do YOU take it, Ink? Do you look on "ever" ie. if anybody hasn't EVER experienced s. attraction then they are asexual, or you aren't that time-exclusive?

I'm not too picky about time. I suspect orientation can change, so aside from egregious cases of people declaring themselves asexual because they've not found anyone sexy for a whole week, I think labels should describe one's current preferences.

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anon_anonymous

Celibate for any reason is celibacy.

you can't mean that anyone that chooses not to have sex is not asexual... are all asexuals without sex lives, involuntarily so?

i would identify with this term but it actually means so many different things to different people that it is meaingless.

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Qutenkuddly

Please do not reopen threads that have been inactive for more than 6 months.

Thread closed due to necromancy.

Qutenkuddly,
Asexual Musings and Rantings Moderator

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