Asexuality and Pregnancy - Ending the debate once and for all?

[~RedArcher]

**This may need moved. Apologies in advance**

So, this is something I wanted to talk about.

I recently read a topic thread that was discussing the false accusations that "Asexuality is not natural" and the main point that was discussed was asexuals not passing their genes to future generations.

WELL...

Asexuality is literally the inability(for the repulsed) or lack of desire to have sex. They didn't say anything about getting pregnant. Pregnancy is so much different to engaging in sexual intercourse, so maybe quite a few aces would be able to cope - especially the ones who want children but their asexuality is making it difficult. And there's good news! Artificial Insemination is a thing.

Ta-da! Couples can successfully create a life using their very own genes and sex has been made totally obsolete lol And even if you don't feel like you could cope with pregnancy either, surrogate mothers are no big secret :)

Have any of you ever thought about this? Have any of you ever done this?

It would be nice to hear the stories of asexual couples successfully creating and raising children through artificial methods. It's a beautiful thing, a miracle of life. Doesn't matter how the life is made. I know there are lots of people here on AVEN who're trying to convince themselves they're not asexual because they want to have children and this opportunity hasn't been very well advertised. You hear it in cases of infertile couples but that's often kept private.

What do you guys think?

I thought I'd raise this point knowing how daunting sex can be for quite a few people, and it's nice to know that sex actually ISN'T anything and everything. For the people who don't feel like they could sustain a sex-less relationship, for the people who's dreams of raising a family have been smashed, for the people who get upset knowing that we live in a sexually dominant society. Chins up :)

[ThaHoward]

It is asexuals who have kids so yeah. And not all asexuals are repulsed, some may see it as necessary to have sex to get kids aand with modern science we no longer need to get laid to become pregnant. So no, asexuality isn't "unnatrual" (hey, it exists naturally, it can't become more natural than that :P ) since asexuals can make babies. And being able to pass on your genes doesn't make things unnatural, by that line of thought sterile people are unnatural and so are the menopause.

[deltaX]

People who say asexuality isn't matural are just flat out wrong. First of all, if our only purpose in life was to pass on our genes to future generations, then everyone would have to be heterosexual. Most people agree that homosexuality is natural for some people, even though homosexual people are less likely to reproduce sexually, so why can't it be the same for asexuals? There are also heterosexual people who, for whatever reason are not able to have kids, but that doesn't mean those people are unnatural

Second of all, just people someone has no sexual attraction and/or no inherent desire for sex doesn't mean they will remain celebate for life. Yes, for some people it is out of the question (for example I would never reproduce sexually because of how repulsed I am), but some asexual people still find reason to have sex. Some do it to compromise with the partners, or because they want kids, or for a number of reasons not explictly related to sexual attraction. I've even talked to some aces on this site who had children the natural way, which kind of destroys the arguement that asexuality isn't natural because we can never reproduce.

But to get back to your orginal question, artificial insemination is defintely an option for people who are not only asexual, but sex-repulsed. I still don't think I would want to go hrough with that myself, but others have done it successfully so that they could have kids without having to go through with sex. Hopefully somebody who has that experience will be able to respond to you here and give you an idea of what is was like for them.

[Sarika]

So here I am, getting ready for my first round of home insemination at the end of this month!

For a bit of background, I came to this decision almost a year ago for a lack of ever having had a "real" boyfriend let alone a long term relationship. I only realized I was AroAceSpec this year, so even as an oblivious Artemis I was well on my way to "self firtilization". I even started a tumblr for the express reason of tracking my adventure. Love to friend other ace parents, single parents, and a-spects wanting to have children!

As for the natural bit, anyone making that argument doesn't know much about science, genetics or the animal kingdom. They likely still think homosexuality is unnatural and will claim it's "a choice". They also likely try to shame women who choose not to become parents. So unless they back peddle super fast when those ideas are brought up, it wouldn't be worth while to try to explain how inappropriate their idea that asexuality isn't natural because we can't reproduce is.

[Ficulnean]

I've always realized, from a very young age, that if I had a child I'd love to adopt one. I only very recently found out I'm asexual. I could smack myself.

So, yes, I think opening discussion on this is a good idea.