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"Am I Ace?" Resources on WhatIsAsexuality.com


Redbeard

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I'm over the way people think that lacking aesthetic attraction has anything to do with being asexual.

An asexual person is completely able to see a woman in a bikini and appreciate the shape of her body without having any desire to connect with her sexually or anything else of the sort (and of course sexual people can do that too! Not everyone looks at a naked person and automatically wants to screw them)..

Yet these educational things seem to *always* include the lack of aesthetic attraction as an indicator that you might be asexual.

It'd be lovely when people stop promoting that asexuals can't appreciate the way other humans look in their educational articles/pamphlets etc and just get down to the nitty-gritty of what asexuality actually is... Do you actively desire partnered sex for your own sexual enjoyment? is partnered sex an important part of your life and relationships? do you see partnered sex as an integral aspect of intimacy in romantic relationships?" If you answered yes to some or all of these, you are probably not asexual.

"Do you see a woman in a bikini and wonder what the fuss about?" is an utterly unnecessary and false addition to these pamphlets. Asexuals can and many of them *do* appreciate the way other humans look.. we just don't want to have sex with said attractive humans.

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Sage Raven Domino

Pan, you're confusing signs and properties.

Indeed, some aces like you and me don't lack aesthetic attraction. But we're not talking about the properties that all aces have. We're talking about traits that are uncommon among sexuals and hence ring a bell if the reader has them.

For an aesthetic ace, the aesthetic attraction test gives a false negative, but for most aces, it gives a true positive. It's impossible to detect all aces in the world with a brief questionnaire like this; but if it prompts, say, 90% of aces reading it to start id'ing as aces, the task is pretty much accomplished.

Besides, the closing sentence of the test says,

If you answered "yes" to some or all of these questions, you might be asexual.

The test is meant to steer a questioning person in the right general direction, not necessarily give them an ultimate answer.

I think the site in question does its job (as a primer) well. Learning asexuality in great detail should happen at more informative specialised sites like AVEN.

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Which is why the other pages include this:

You can be asexual even if you think someone is good looking. It's possible to think that someone is cute or beautiful without being sexually attracted to them, in the same way it's possible to think a puppy is cute or a painting is beautiful.
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An asexual person is completely able to see a woman in a bikini and appreciate the shape of her body without having any desire to connect with her sexually or anything else of the sort

You have to admit that this is far less likely among aces than sexuals, though.

If it was me, I'd just find it boring. No "appreciation" taking place there. I would indeed be wondering what the fuss is about, whereas I cannot think of a single sexual person who would think the same way unless they just found the particular person wearing it to be unattractive to them.

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Hooded_Crow

An asexual person is completely able to see a woman in a bikini and appreciate the shape of her body without having any desire to connect with her sexually or anything else of the sort

You have to admit that this is far less likely among aces than sexuals, though.

If it was me, I'd just find it boring. No "appreciation" taking place there. I would indeed be wondering what the fuss is about, whereas I cannot think of a single sexual person who would think the same way unless they just found the particular person wearing it to be unattractive to them.

I have to agree with this. I have very little appreciation of people's bodies. If I appreciate a face, more often than not it's not the face I respond to, it's the expression.

I think asexual people can indeed appreciate beauty in people in the same way my gay former housemate would point at an actress and go "she's so beautiful!".

But I don't. XD

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Per Aspera Ad Astra

An asexual person is completely able to see a woman in a bikini and appreciate the shape of her body without having any desire to connect with her sexually or anything else of the sort

You have to admit that this is far less likely among aces than sexuals, though.

If it was me, I'd just find it boring. No "appreciation" taking place there. I would indeed be wondering what the fuss is about, whereas I cannot think of a single sexual person who would think the same way unless they just found the particular person wearing it to be unattractive to them.

I have to agree with this. I have very little appreciation of people's bodies. If I appreciate a face, more often than not it's not the face I respond to, it's the expression.

I think asexual people can indeed appreciate beauty in people in the same way my gay former housemate would point at an actress and go "she's so beautiful!".

But I don't. XD

I appreciate physical beauty in people. I'm rarely aesthetically attracted by a nice body (that said, it happens sometimes), but I do appreciate a beautiful face and nice features (which is most likely linked, like you said Gwen, to expressions rather than people's actual face).

It won't impact on my relationship with people, or the way that I see them. I actually couldn't care less what someone looks like. But physical beauty in people, especially in women, it moves me, I guess? It moves me the way a gorgeous sunset, or an amazing painting, would move me. I am very sensitive to beauty, I always try to see the beauty in everything, and I often find beauty in things that most people can't seem to see. But it does not influence the way that I feel about people. It doesn't influence the way I experience sensual or romantic attraction, I don't need to be aesthetically attracted to someone to feel any other kind of attraction.

It's kind of hard to explain, and I used to find it very confusing (I actually used to mistake it for sexual attraction because it was the only thing that made sense before I found out about asexuality) >.>

I never imagined asexuals experiencing aesthetic attraction could be a minority.

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