Asexual Men Musings

[WrenIsNotMyRealName!!]

13 hours ago, Skycaptain said:

@WrenIsNotMyRealName!!, I'm tempted to say "nuts" 😋😋, but it took me about thirty seconds to find a peer-reviewed article on the Pubmed website suggesting that this could be true. It isn't that the nuts are a testosterone mimic, but in some people a chemical within them can stimulate increased secretion. However, this won't work for everyone 

Yeah, it faded(thankfully) so I'm more focused and can explain. Almonds contain zinc and, like I said, zinc contains something that can cause the pituitary gland to speed up and since mine I off(and I ate sooooooo many almonds) i basically reentered puberty for a couple of hours. But everything is chill now.

 

Oh, the thing about it being a supplement for T. My trans friend was looking up different ways he can naturally increase his testosterone and raw almonds was one of them. Broccoli too. But I guess he ate too much cause now he HATES broccoli.

[artemisia]

On 5/8/2020 at 12:11 PM, will123 said:

Why do I have to have aesthetic attraction?

 

I'm content in not wanting/desiring/et cetera sex with another person.

 

I'm content in not being romantically attracted to girls or guys.

 

BUT WHY DO I LOVE TO LOOK AT GIRLS? It's only going to get worse as the warmer weather approaches...

 

In light of the first two statements, why can't aesthetic attraction be absent from me? I've read a lot aces (male and female) mention how when their 'sexual' friends remark about a person's cuteness/attractiveness/hotness/et cetera, they just draw a blank. I wish I was in the same boat so to speak.

 

Any other asexual guys out there that struggle with aesthetic attraction? Care to share your feelings?

 

 

I am female, and experience a lot of aesthetic attraction. But in my case, it overlaps with romantic and sensual attraction. That is, if I see a picture of an attractive person, I fantasize about kissing him, putting my arms around him, or running my hands through his hair.

[Bronztrooper]

3 hours ago, artemisia said:

I am female, and experience a lot of aesthetic attraction. But in my case, it overlaps with romantic and sensual attraction. That is, if I see a picture of an attractive person, I fantasize about kissing him, putting my arms around him, or running my hands through his hair.

Sensual attraction very rarely comes into play for me, but idk if romantic attraction joins in with the aesthetic attraction or if it's just platonic attraction and I'm confusing it for romantic.

 

Like, there was this woman who was working as a cashier at a Wawa's that on the way to and from my job and I'd talk to her while waiting for my food on my way home.  Ended up liking her quite a bit really quickly and my reaction was basically "Oh....... well, shit."  Still not sure if it was a crush or a squish, but I haven't seen her for a few weeks so I guess she's on a different shift now.

[will123]

4 hours ago, artemisia said:

I am female, and experience a lot of aesthetic attraction. But in my case, it overlaps with romantic and sensual attraction. That is, if I see a picture of an attractive person, I fantasize about kissing him, putting my arms around him, or running my hands through his hair.

At first I wasn't going to reply but then this thought popped into my head. I don't think of doing ANYTHING with them, be it just close physical contact or sexual.

 

I just see the person think, "She's cute/sexy/hot" or

 

"She's got a nice rack!"

 

 

And then I go on doing whatever I was doing before as if nothing had happened.

 

It's like it's 'visual arousal'...

[embarrassed_ace]

On 6/2/2020 at 6:23 PM, Low End Things said:

I've had a very similar experience although I'm still young at 29. I found that women growing up were more interesting, to be blunt. They had a much more varied set of personalities. Guys were too focused on sex and going out, and I couldn't fake interest forever. I learned to get good at meeting new people because of this, since guys should have guy friends and I just needed to find them, right?

 

Didn't work out, but what can you do. Also had the experience level out once I started working consistently.

Am I the only one here who has lots of male friends who aren't one dimensional? Maybe I'm lucky in that most of my male friends rarely talk about their sex lives (or at least not as much as they used to)

[Bronztrooper]

21 hours ago, embarrassed_ace said:

Am I the only one here who has lots of male friends who aren't one dimensional? Maybe I'm lucky in that most of my male friends rarely talk about their sex lives (or at least not as much as they used to)

Don't think so.  My circle of friends has 2 guys other than me as well as 2 women, and the guys don't really talk about their sex lives.  One of them has a bf, while the other hasn't slept with anyone yet.

[will123]

Not really an ace moment, but as you can imagine, likely some of you can relate.

 

The following happened about two years before I found out about asexuality and still thought I was straight.

 

Thru a snowmobiling forum, I started PMing a female snowmobiler who had a cottage a couple of hours from where I spent my weekends. Turns out she followed the snowcross (like motocross on snow) racing series. Anyways, there was a race scheduled for near her cottage. As far as I knew she was either married or had a boyfriend. (I've found over the years, even if both members of a couple snowmobile, only one is really active online). Initial plans were that my brother, his wife and me were going to head up (me for the Sunday finals, the others the weekend). The other person suggested that we'd meet for dinner. I was kind of unsure about this as I didn't really want to meet her 'blind' with family around, especially if she had a significant other with her.

 

Plans changed and brother and S-I-L couldn't make it. Arrangement was changed, but we planned on meeting on race day. It turned out that she was single for reasons that I won't get into, which was a relief as I thought another person would be an uncomfortable situation for me. We had a good day watching the races and she seemed quite personable and it wasn't forced. When the day was over, we headed back to the parking lot and she said she'd have to get in the shuttle bus line up. I asked her why? My car id over at the high school. 

 

Well this is where I go right out on a limb. "Do you mind me driving you over there and we can grab a bite together on the way back to the city?" "Sure, not a problem!" 

 

I really surprised myself as normal I never tried to 'advance my position' (words escape me to describe this) when I met a girl, not that it happened all that often. This was back in 2003 and we still keep in touch. The funny thing was that after we had socialized for a year or so and nothing had happened between us, I wasn't really all that bothered. Like I said, not to much later, I identified as asexual which likely explained why I never thought of her in a sexual way. I was just happy to have her as a friend.

 

I finally came out to her about a year and a half ago. She thought it was a bit out of the ordinary that I would tell her that I was asexual. I told her that I thought you might wonder why I had never discussed anything remotely romantic or .... (I didn't use the 'S' word) with her. That was true, even though I enjoyed my time with her, I never thought to try to 'move things along'.

 

 

[Popfiz85]

30 minutes ago, Serran said:

Do you not ever want any sort of sexual partnered contact, or is it that you dislike what amounts to sex in your partnership? If you just did hand stuff and taught your partner how you like it, would that be good? Or does the partner being involved ruin it? 

I would say I’ve never really wanted contact with anyone. I’m more into just hand time alone. But I want a relationship. I guess that’s where I’ve always been stuck. 

[Guest]

8 minutes ago, Popfiz85 said:

I would say I’ve never really wanted contact with anyone. I’m more into just hand time alone. But I want a relationship. I guess that’s where I’ve always been stuck. 

A relationship can exist without sex. That tends to be what asexuals seek.  But, sexuals usually require it to be satisfied. 

[will123]

1 hour ago, Serran said:

A relationship can exist without sex. That tends to be what asexuals seek.  But, sexuals usually require it to be satisfied. 

Make that friendship. On the bold, BTDT 

 

And they didn't live happily ever after...

[tasukikun]

It's weird when I talk about my asexuality with my hetero friends and they all freak out when they find out I only fantasize about fictional or "unattainable" people.  This can be the 3D superhero variety, a famous actor, or even the slightly less "3D" video game variety.  Am I borderline cringey for having these thoughts? I've talked to one or two other asexuals who have similar thoughts about fantasies so I really don't know.  I can't say I have a whole lot of asexual people in my life.   Any thoughts would be appreciated.

[Squirrel623]

On 5/8/2020 at 10:11 AM, will123 said:

Why do I have to have aesthetic attraction?

 

I'm content in not wanting/desiring/et cetera sex with another person.

 

I'm content in not being romantically attracted to girls or guys.

 

BUT WHY DO I LOVE TO LOOK AT GIRLS? It's only going to get worse as the warmer weather approaches...

 

In light of the first two statements, why can't aesthetic attraction be absent from me? I've read a lot aces (male and female) mention how when their 'sexual' friends remark about a person's cuteness/attractiveness/hotness/et cetera, they just draw a blank. I wish I was in the same boat so to speak.

 

Any other asexual guys out there that struggle with aesthetic attraction? Care to share your feelings?

 

 

Sorry for bringing this up from a few months ago, but I have really been having a hard time with this situation related to what I can label myself. (I'm not looking to be explicitly labeled, I just want to discuss this a bit more so I can help determine this myself).

 

It doesn't happen very often, but sometimes I can look at a female body and have an intense "rush" of just feeling of appreciating how nice it is. My personal problem when it comes to labeling is that I can become aroused from looking at the body but I still don't have any sexual desire or thoughts. This is usually how it goes: I think something like "GOD is that SUCH a nice body", feel like sometimes I could stare at it for days, I sometimes get an erection and can feel aroused, but other than that nothing - no urge to do anything.

 

Is this sort of attraction aesthetic even though I get aroused? It doesn't seem like the "nice painting or sunset" that people normally describe because it seems a lot more intense than I have ever felt about a painting or sunset. I don't know if kissing and intimate touching are considered romantic or sexual (or other), but I have an aversion to intimate kissing and touching and have always had to imitate what I think I "should" be doing in that situation instead of relying on instinct.

 

Another reason that I have had a hard time labeling myself is because I wonder if I am actually just completely aromantic while still being heterosexual? I know I have some sort of sexual wiring in my body, but how do I categorize myself when there are conflicting definitions that I think apply to myself? I have a hard time determining what type of attraction the feelings/desires that I am missing actually are.

 

So is that a valid way of thinking about it? Can I be on the asexual spectrum while still being aroused by women? Or would that be an aromantic sexual (even though I don't have any desires or urges)? It is so confusing trying to think about stuff like this because in a lot of ways I think I am "normal" (I can watch porn and can be aroused by females under certain conditions) but I never have any desire or thoughts on my own related to having sex, and I have always felt weird and abnormal in two relationships I have had because there has always been a part "missing".

 

Thanks for listening to me ramble!

 

 

[will123]

1 hour ago, Squirrel623 said:

Sorry for bringing this up from a few months ago, but I have really been having a hard time with this situation related to what I can label myself. (I'm not looking to be explicitly labeled, I just want to discuss this a bit more so I can help determine this myself).

 

It doesn't happen very often, but sometimes I can look at a female body and have an intense "rush" of just feeling of appreciating how nice it is. My personal problem when it comes to labeling is that I can become aroused from looking at the body but I still don't have any sexual desire or thoughts. This is usually how it goes: I think something like "GOD is that SUCH a nice body", feel like sometimes I could stare at it for days, I sometimes get an erection and can feel aroused, but other than that nothing - no urge to do anything.

 

Is this sort of attraction aesthetic even though I get aroused? It doesn't seem like the "nice painting or sunset" that people normally describe because it seems a lot more intense than I have ever felt about a painting or sunset. I don't know if kissing and intimate touching are considered romantic or sexual (or other), but I have an aversion to intimate kissing and touching and have always had to imitate what I think I "should" be doing in that situation instead of relying on instinct.

 

Another reason that I have had a hard time labeling myself is because I wonder if I am actually just completely aromantic while still being heterosexual? I know I have some sort of sexual wiring in my body, but how do I categorize myself when there are conflicting definitions that I think apply to myself? I have a hard time determining what type of attraction the feelings/desires that I am missing actually are.

 

So is that a valid way of thinking about it? Can I be on the asexual spectrum while still being aroused by women? Or would that be an aromantic sexual (even though I don't have any desires or urges)? It is so confusing trying to think about stuff like this because in a lot of ways I think I am "normal" (I can watch porn and can be aroused by females under certain conditions) but I never have any desire or thoughts on my own related to having sex, and I have always felt weird and abnormal in two relationships I have had because there has always been a part "missing".

 

Thanks for listening to me ramble!

 

 

No need to apologise!

 

Welcome to AVEN  I'm sure folks will chime in on how you feel. I found out about asexuality and promptly identified as such back when I was 44 (I'll be 59 next month). It was such a relief. I always thought I was straight as I found girls attractive and had a few female friends during my adult years, but nothing sexual or romantic ever happened with them. My upset over aesthetic attraction flared up earlier this summer, but eased after a few days, so everything is OK, for now LOL

[Aloney]

On 9/10/2020 at 5:15 AM, Squirrel623 said:

Sorry for bringing this up from a few months ago, but I have really been having a hard time with this situation related to what I can label myself. (I'm not looking to be explicitly labeled, I just want to discuss this a bit more so I can help determine this myself).

 

It doesn't happen very often, but sometimes I can look at a female body and have an intense "rush" of just feeling of appreciating how nice it is. My personal problem when it comes to labeling is that I can become aroused from looking at the body but I still don't have any sexual desire or thoughts. This is usually how it goes: I think something like "GOD is that SUCH a nice body", feel like sometimes I could stare at it for days, I sometimes get an erection and can feel aroused, but other than that nothing - no urge to do anything.

 

Is this sort of attraction aesthetic even though I get aroused? It doesn't seem like the "nice painting or sunset" that people normally describe because it seems a lot more intense than I have ever felt about a painting or sunset. I don't know if kissing and intimate touching are considered romantic or sexual (or other), but I have an aversion to intimate kissing and touching and have always had to imitate what I think I "should" be doing in that situation instead of relying on instinct.

 

Another reason that I have had a hard time labeling myself is because I wonder if I am actually just completely aromantic while still being heterosexual? I know I have some sort of sexual wiring in my body, but how do I categorize myself when there are conflicting definitions that I think apply to myself? I have a hard time determining what type of attraction the feelings/desires that I am missing actually are.

 

So is that a valid way of thinking about it? Can I be on the asexual spectrum while still being aroused by women? Or would that be an aromantic sexual (even though I don't have any desires or urges)? It is so confusing trying to think about stuff like this because in a lot of ways I think I am "normal" (I can watch porn and can be aroused by females under certain conditions) but I never have any desire or thoughts on my own related to having sex, and I have always felt weird and abnormal in two relationships I have had because there has always been a part "missing".

 

Thanks for listening to me ramble!

 

 

Hi, a female here, but I can somewhat relate to this, since I also have quite a lot of aesthetic attraction towards women. In my case, I just... get real giddy about seeing someone super cute (cute and nerdy seems to be my "type" in that sort of situation). I just wanted to say, it's completely valid to still identify on the asexual spectrum while having appreciation for other people's forms. I would imagine it's the part of not wanting to pursue anything, that is the key thing, here? Obviously it's also valid to be a sexual aromantic, too, but I'm not yet completely sure in what ways that differs as an experience. My aesthetic attraction is sometimes that "ooh, what a pretty sunset"-experience, but sometimes it's a bit more like "MAN I just want to keep looking at that girl, she's so hella cute". Never felt any need to approach that person, though, and I don't think I've had a real crush in my lifetime. 

Personally I do have a libido, yet it doesn't "direct" itself towards anyone, really, and I'm happy on my own. I'm currently debating aroace as my "flavor" of orientation, but I see nothing wrong with still enjoying alone time, while identifying as such. The problem arises if there is someone else involved in this, though. Instant put-off for me. My latest experience with even just kissing another person felt so alien to me I had to break it off as soon as polite 😅 Even more confusing, the other person complimented my "skill", which I still can't believe, as I couldn't enjoy the experience at all, myself :'D Then again, it was a guy, that time, I have no idea if the experience would be any different with a girl. With guys, I definitely draw a blank when people ask if I find someone male attractive or not. Just... not my type, I suppose? Luckily, I don't have any real desire to actually end up in a relationship, so I'm quite alright, just being a bean and hanging out with friends  

(Oh yeah, and I think the type of attraction involving wanting to kiss and touch someone is generally categorized as "sensual attraction", kind of mid-way in between romantic/aesthetic and sexual, I think?) 

[Bronztrooper]

@Squirrel623 @Aloney

 

I do sometimes have that feeling of "I just want to keep looking" from time to time as well, but for me, it feels similar to the draw I get to just stop and watch as conveyors move things around warehouses/factories, and I definitely don't want to stick any of my appendages in a conveyor belt.  I think it's just another form of aesthetic attraction, but more... focused, I guess.

[Tylor]

On 3/28/2015 at 9:51 AM, RobPal said:

I just came on the forum to post my views as to where this pinned thread would best fit, and there it is already in place. 🙂

So to get things started I'd like to find out if other male asexuals find it difficult to be among other men who are sexual. Personally I feel like there is an unspoken link between the sexual males, regardless of whether they're hetero, homo, bi etc... and this tends to make me feel excluded even if it's not intentional. Maybe it's just because I'm an introvert, but it would be interesting to know what other guys here think.

Same, and while I’m also an introvert, I feel like so many allosexual men just,,,focus on it so much? (Sorry if someone already said this, I haven’t gotten around to reading the whole thread)

[Tylor]

On 9/9/2020 at 10:15 PM, Squirrel623 said:

Sorry for bringing this up from a few months ago, but I have really been having a hard time with this situation related to what I can label myself. (I'm not looking to be explicitly labeled, I just want to discuss this a bit more so I can help determine this myself).

 

It doesn't happen very often, but sometimes I can look at a female body and have an intense "rush" of just feeling of appreciating how nice it is. My personal problem when it comes to labeling is that I can become aroused from looking at the body but I still don't have any sexual desire or thoughts. This is usually how it goes: I think something like "GOD is that SUCH a nice body", feel like sometimes I could stare at it for days, I sometimes get an erection and can feel aroused, but other than that nothing - no urge to do anything.

 

Is this sort of attraction aesthetic even though I get aroused? It doesn't seem like the "nice painting or sunset" that people normally describe because it seems a lot more intense than I have ever felt about a painting or sunset. I don't know if kissing and intimate touching are considered romantic or sexual (or other), but I have an aversion to intimate kissing and touching and have always had to imitate what I think I "should" be doing in that situation instead of relying on instinct.

 

Another reason that I have had a hard time labeling myself is because I wonder if I am actually just completely aromantic while still being heterosexual? I know I have some sort of sexual wiring in my body, but how do I categorize myself when there are conflicting definitions that I think apply to myself? I have a hard time determining what type of attraction the feelings/desires that I am missing actually are.

 

So is that a valid way of thinking about it? Can I be on the asexual spectrum while still being aroused by women? Or would that be an aromantic sexual (even though I don't have any desires or urges)? It is so confusing trying to think about stuff like this because in a lot of ways I think I am "normal" (I can watch porn and can be aroused by females under certain conditions) but I never have any desire or thoughts on my own related to having sex, and I have always felt weird and abnormal in two relationships I have had because there has always been a part "missing".

 

Thanks for listening to me ramble!

 

 

Honestly, the ‘rush’ always seemed like a semi-sexual grey area to me. Aesthetic attraction and sexual attraction have such vague definitions, it’s sort of open to interperetation/whatever makes you comfortable. Also, being uncomfortable with kissing kind of falls into a grey area. Some experience it alongside sexual attraction, while others view it as more of a romantic thing. It sort of depends 🤷‍♂️

[Tylor]

On 6/23/2020 at 5:44 PM, WrenIsNotMyRealName!! said:

Yeah, it faded(thankfully) so I'm more focused and can explain. Almonds contain zinc and, like I said, zinc contains something that can cause the pituitary gland to speed up and since mine I off(and I ate sooooooo many almonds) i basically reentered puberty for a couple of hours. But everything is chill now.

 

Oh, the thing about it being a supplement for T. My trans friend was looking up different ways he can naturally increase his testosterone and raw almonds was one of them. Broccoli too. But I guess he ate too much cause now he HATES broccoli.

I recently joined AVEN, so please excuse my late reply, but most foods claimed to raise testosterone do little to nothing to actually help. If you still wanna raise T the dieting way, keep in mind that any list that lists meat, red meat, or beef should be taken with a grain of salt, seeing as cows usually undergo some kind of hormone treatment involving E (not going to pretend I know everything, just the vague logistics). Again, most foods don’t really raise it by a significant amount, so I’ve kind of stopped trying the food route. Hope this helps!

[MatureVestal]

On 9/9/2020 at 4:50 PM, tasukikun said:

It's weird when I talk about my asexuality with my hetero friends and they all freak out when they find out I only fantasize about fictional or "unattainable" people.  This can be the 3D superhero variety, a famous actor, or even the slightly less "3D" video game variety.  Am I borderline cringey for having these thoughts? I've talked to one or two other asexuals who have similar thoughts about fantasies so I really don't know.  I can't say I have a whole lot of asexual people in my life.   Any thoughts would be appreciated.

Wow. You have no idea of the relief I feel reading this. I only found out this week, at 51, about my asexuality (of the heteroromantic type). It is't anything I have shared much yet with friends and relatives, but it won't be too difficult as they already see me as a bit of a marginal with my way of life. 😛 Your message caught my attention because I too only fantasize about fictional and... almost unattainable characters. Why do I say "almost"? Because some of those characters are my own creation. As a matter of fact, I have learned at a fairly young age to direct my libidinal fantasies toward writing. It has been one of my main tools and I used the crude material from them, as well as online roleplay, to inspire me and build something from - a concept many would refer to as sublimation. It's basically how I lived my sexuality. And it has been so fulfilling that actual relationships, in their down-to-earth (and sexual) reality came as a downer, a bother to me. My "superheroes" and aesthetic attraction usually involve male "badasses", who are mostly asexual too so they aren't captive of their own urges. I guess it would make me an interesting study subject for a psychiatrist! Anyway, it's great to meet someone who has a similar mindset.

Edited September 18, 2020 by MatureVestal
additional detail

[MatureVestal]

On 5/8/2020 at 12:11 PM, will123 said:

Why do I have to have aesthetic attraction?

I often wondered the same. Why does the very idea of sex repels me (I'm a 51 year-0old female) while I feel aesthetic attraction toward a certain type of "badass" but intellectual, gentlemanly males? Until I found out about my asexuality only this week, and that there were others who were also dealing with a similar state, I thought for all those years that there was something wrong with me. But I still manage to exploit that by steering my libido toward very fulfilling fiction writing.

Edited September 19, 2020 by MatureVestal
addition

[Bronztrooper]

On 9/18/2020 at 7:26 AM, MatureVestal said:

Wow. You have no idea of the relief I feel reading this. I only found out this week, at 51, about my asexuality (of the heteroromantic type). It is't anything I have shared much yet with friends and relatives, but it won't be too difficult as they already see me as a bit of a marginal with my way of life. 😛 Your message caught my attention because I too only fantasize about fictional and... almost unattainable characters. Why do I say "almost"? Because some of those characters are my own creation. As a matter of fact, I have learned at a fairly young age to direct my libidinal fantasies toward writing. It has been one of my main tools and I used the crude material from them, as well as online roleplay, to inspire me and build something from - a concept many would refer to as sublimation. It's basically how I lived my sexuality. And it has been so fulfilling that actual relationships, in their down-to-earth (and sexual) reality came as a downer, a bother to me. My "superheroes" and aesthetic attraction usually involve male "badasses", who are mostly asexual too so they aren't captive of their own urges. I guess it would make me an interesting study subject for a psychiatrist! Anyway, it's great to meet someone who has a similar mindset.

Sounds kind of like me, but I specifically focus on the romantic aspect rather than the sexual one.  Even in games I almost always romance other characters because I just feel like I'm missing out on something in the game if I don't (and if I don't romance anyone, I usually have my protags end up with other characters outside of the games), so I kind of live vicariously through my characters since romance doesn't have much of a presence for me irl.  Personally, I'm not a fan of writing anything along the lines of smut, but I have friends who enjoy writing it, so if I ever want any of my characters to have a smut scene (which isn't often since I default to 'fade-to-black' stuff), I'll just ask them.

 

I'm 24, btw, and also heteromantic.

[buzzsaw133]

I've noticed that once I was comfortable enough about my own asexuality, a few of my female "friends" just stopped talking to me. I had my suspicions before about maybe one or two of them using sexuality to obtain things (be it favors, money or what have you), but didn't really want to see it. I told them I was demisexual and after an average of like 4 messages of telling them exactly what that meant, they just seemed to vanish and stop responding completely. One or two have even tried the whole "i'm so horny" text thing, which led to what has become one of my favorite sayings. "Barking up a telephone pole." They didn't respond...

 

Had anyone else experienced this? I feel like it's a more common thing than I think, but at the same time I'm hoping it's not.

[Philip027]

Never kept those kinds of people as friends, personally.

[Catserole]

14 minutes ago, buzzsaw133 said:

Had anyone else experienced this? I feel like it's a more common thing than I think, but at the same time I'm hoping it's not.

Sometimes 'friends' are just people that want things from you.

[Skycaptain]

Whereas I'm just the opposite. I have far more female friends and acquaintances since embracing asexuality than I did before. I think subconsciously I avoided forming friendships because I was scared that people would want more. 

I'd certainly mastered the art of being completely alone in the middle of a crowd 

[Onomatopoet]

On 10/8/2020 at 9:55 AM, Skycaptain said:

Whereas I'm just the opposite. I have far more female friends and acquaintances since embracing asexuality than I did before. I think subconsciously I avoided forming friendships because I was scared that people would want more. 

Whereas I'm just your opposite, and that got me thinking.

The first friend I remember having in preschool was a girl and in elementary school everyone was friends until the boys and girls started ganging up at the opposite ends of the yard (which made me sad and confused because lil' me wanted to be friends with everyone). Through middle school and sixth form all my close friendships were with females. When I started to understand my asexuality, I also started to get more comfortable in a group of male mutuals which eventually started to feel like a group of male friends. Then another one appeared. In the military I was already relatively comfortable with my asexuality, and thanks to the relationships formed there most of my closest friendships are now with other males.

 

It's curious that we seem to be coming from the same place, but our routes are polar opposites!

[Homer]

My circle of friends has been mostly female for nearly as long as I can remember...

[Onomatopoet]

5 minutes ago, Homer said:

My circle of friends has been mostly female for nearly as long as I can remember...

Considering the "...", do you find that nice, sad, both, or just neutral (it iiz what it iiz)

[DolphinLover22]

On 6/23/2020 at 3:44 PM, WrenIsNotMyRealName!! said:

Oh, the thing about it being a supplement for T. My trans friend was looking up different ways he can naturally increase his testosterone and raw almonds was one of them. Broccoli too. But I guess he ate too much cause now he HATES broccoli.

That’s pretty great😂 maybe that’s why I always wanted more almonds and broccoli in my teens🤔🤔😂 (also a trans guy)

[Anthracite_Impreza]

I'm so autistic I have to find whichever good friends I can and cling to them like a lost puppy, cos finding someone who doesn't cringe at my very existence irl is rare 😕 Genders have never really been on the radar for me, though I do tend to feel more comfortable in masc-aligned situations.