Guest Posted November 28, 2018 Share Posted November 28, 2018 10 hours ago, will123 said: Girls were attractive but I didnt feel the need/want to 'chat them up'. Even now that he's in a relationship he gets overly chatty with women when the two of us are out. It makes it more difficult to meet women when there's only aesthetic attraction. Facing facts, people meeting on evenings out are looking for something sexual so chatting a woman up seems like a bad idea. The whole thing makes me uncomfortable. It feels very one-sided like men are expected to chase the women. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
will123 Posted November 29, 2018 Share Posted November 29, 2018 I should've remembered this thread: A couple of good comments: @MichaelTannock Quote To me, the need feels like an ache and an inability to concentrate, and it's a need to get rid of that ache and inability. @Ficto. Quote When I get aroused (genitally I mean) it's never really as a result of anything specific. I can't force it or make it happen, it just happens on its own! It feels like a hot, pulsing ache (but not painful) 'between my legs' and stuff can start getting quite wet down there if you know what I mean. It's like.. an urge in a way. Like an itch. I feel like 'I need to get rid of this' because it's annoying and I can't concentrate well when I have it. Thank you for the explanation. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted November 30, 2018 Share Posted November 30, 2018 I heard someone say that a man’s libido drops off/declines before a woman’s, although I’m not sure how true it is. I’m hoping it’s true because I’m 32 now and it would be good to have my libido fade away. Why are there no pills to help?! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Divide By Zero Posted December 1, 2018 Share Posted December 1, 2018 23 hours ago, Little Bear said: Why are there no pills to help?! Probably because such a product would not be commercially viable in our hypersexual society 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Fluffy Femme Guy Posted December 1, 2018 Share Posted December 1, 2018 On 11/29/2018 at 8:06 PM, Little Bear said: I heard someone say that a man’s libido drops off/declines before a woman’s, although I’m not sure how true it is. I’m hoping it’s true because I’m 32 now and it would be good to have my libido fade away. I'm 30 and mine has certainly gone down since my late teens and early/mid twenties. Give it a few more years and it might ease up a bit. Regular strenuous exercise and some substances can make libido more acute for some people, just in case you want to attempt changing some of that... 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Fluffy Femme Guy Posted December 6, 2018 Share Posted December 6, 2018 I've also had the 'inability to concentrate' symptom before. I tried giving it up for Lent a few years back. Was super weird and annoying. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Bronztrooper Posted December 6, 2018 Share Posted December 6, 2018 For me, it isn't too bad, just annoying. It's like my body is asking me 'How about now?' every couple of minutes (and that's the least often) when my libido is at that point. I can sometimes just ignore it and it'll leave me alone for a while (longest was more than 6 months, iirc), but at some point it always comes back. It's kind of like one of those minor itches you could probably ignore, but it'll be annoying until it finally stops. At least, that's how it is for me. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Laplace Posted December 12, 2018 Share Posted December 12, 2018 It’s hella annoying for me as a 24 y.o. The body is just like, “Hey you’re at the absolute prime time to have children; you better start having them right now or I’ll bother you every day. Hell, even if you do have children, I’ll still bother you. You’re eating healthy and getting plenty of exercise. Guess I’d better bother you more often.” Like STFU; leave me alone, esp. in the morning. I need to use the goddamn toilet! 😡 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lstorm Posted December 20, 2018 Share Posted December 20, 2018 I find myself more sexually attracted to motorcycles than people 😂 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ScattaBrain Posted December 30, 2018 Share Posted December 30, 2018 On 10/11/2018 at 4:55 PM, Laplace said: Talking about girls or sex is one of the most boring conversation topics to me when I’m socializing with a group of guys. I have so little to contribute, and very few of them understand that I’m being sincere when I say it doesn’t interest me. But then, they’ll believe me when I say I’m not gay cause I don’t “look” or “seem” gay, and immediately conclude that I must simply lack experience so that’s why I’m not interested in women. Believe both of my statements, I’m telling the truth people! 😫 Is it really so hard to believe that someone who has a persistent pattern of being somewhat of a lone wolf may not want a relationship with anyone? Dude. I can relate to every single word of this. I could'nt have worded this better even if i tried. Although i've never had people assume im inexperienced. I just confirm my inexperience with full confidence, and then they get confused because they think it should bother me when, news flash, it doesnt. I tend to be a lone wolf myself; call me selfish, but i like living & making decisions for myself instead of wasting my life chasing women. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
œddy Posted December 30, 2018 Share Posted December 30, 2018 4 hours ago, ScattaBrain said: Dude. I can relate to every single word of this. I could'nt have worded this better even if i tried. Although i've never had people assume im inexperienced. I just confirm my inexperience with full confidence, and then they get confused because they think it should bother me when, news flash, it doesnt. I tend to be a lone wolf myself; call me selfish, but i like living & making decisions for myself instead of wasting my life chasing women. Can relate, I thought I was being selfish in not pursuing a relationship, having kids, etc etc. Societal pressure can really mess with your head. I still think my mother sees me this way sadly despite trying to explain it. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Laplace Posted December 31, 2018 Share Posted December 31, 2018 I don’t understand how other guys can run headlong and try to actively pursue someone. I just think about how much money, time, and effort it would cost for potentially no gain. I feel a bit selfish about being so focused on my myself, but is it so wrong to prioritize yourself over pursuing a relationship? Also, I’m really frikkin’ tired of seeing these dumb ads for testosterone supplements and stuff. It’s ****ing everywhere these days. It’s difficult not to feel like I’m the only guy who doesn’t care about his damn sexual performance or dick size. TMI dick stuff I do find it really hilarious that I am apparently fairly well-endowed. I figured I’d look up info on it for a laugh, and I was pretty amused to find that ~7”x5.5” was actually rather uncommon and fairly desirable. Ironic considering it probably won’t be used. What was the point of giving me this? 🧐🧐🧐 At least my bro and dad think those ads are stupid too (my immediate family is not very interested in romance and sex which I’m thankful for). 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
œddy Posted December 31, 2018 Share Posted December 31, 2018 1 hour ago, Laplace said: I don’t understand how other guys can run headlong and try to actively pursue someone. I just think about how much money, time, and effort it would cost for potentially no gain. I feel a bit selfish about being so focused on my myself, but is it so wrong to prioritize yourself over pursuing a relationship? Also, I’m really frikkin’ tired of seeing these dumb ads for testosterone supplements and stuff. It’s ****ing everywhere these days. It’s difficult not to feel like I’m the only guy who doesn’t care about his damn sexual performance or dick size. TMI dick stuff Reveal hidden contents I do find it really hilarious that I am apparently fairly well-endowed. I figured I’d look up info on it for a laugh, and I was pretty amused to find that ~7”x5.5” was actually rather uncommon and fairly desirable. Ironic considering it probably won’t be used. What was the point of giving me this? 🧐🧐🧐 At least my bro and dad think those ads are stupid too (my immediate family is not very interested in romance and sex which I’m thankful for). That is far too much info but this is a place for it on the forum, I'm a tall guy and can relate. I suppose it is quite funny, I have had a male friend comment a number of times about it being such a waste haha. I think people use the word 'selfish' because they assume you must be missing out, everyone else pursues intimate and romantic relationships and its so normalised that not actually wanting it or having any interest doesn't make a lot of sense. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Skycaptain Posted December 31, 2018 Share Posted December 31, 2018 Especially as testosterone supplements will neither make things bigger or last longer.😋 😋 The opposite is more likely, take too much testosterone supplementation can result in irreversible testicular atrophy Quote Link to post Share on other sites
œddy Posted December 31, 2018 Share Posted December 31, 2018 5 minutes ago, Skycaptain said: Especially as testosterone supplements will neither make things bigger or last longer.😋 😋 The opposite is more likely, take too much testosterone supplementation can result in irreversible testicular atrophy Arnie has it covered https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YmD_a0V18fA 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Bronztrooper Posted December 31, 2018 Share Posted December 31, 2018 11 hours ago, Laplace said: I don’t understand how other guys can run headlong and try to actively pursue someone. I just think about how much money, time, and effort it would cost for potentially no gain. I feel a bit selfish about being so focused on my myself, but is it so wrong to prioritize yourself over pursuing a relationship? Also, I’m really frikkin’ tired of seeing these dumb ads for testosterone supplements and stuff. It’s ****ing everywhere these days. It’s difficult not to feel like I’m the only guy who doesn’t care about his damn sexual performance or dick size. TMI dick stuff Reveal hidden contents I do find it really hilarious that I am apparently fairly well-endowed. I figured I’d look up info on it for a laugh, and I was pretty amused to find that ~7”x5.5” was actually rather uncommon and fairly desirable. Ironic considering it probably won’t be used. What was the point of giving me this? 🧐🧐🧐 At least my bro and dad think those ads are stupid too (my immediate family is not very interested in romance and sex which I’m thankful for). I don't really get how wanting to focus on the quality of your own life and ignoring relationships is 'selfish', tbh. Besides, it's better to get yourself sorted out before thinking about potential relationship so that you don't drag others into your problems. Whenever I see those ads, this is basically my reaction: 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted January 7, 2019 Share Posted January 7, 2019 Do you think it's a bad idea to have the habit of masturbating to things that are of an aesthetic attraction (women in lingerie or whatever)? Fantasies that might be kinky and/or sexual too. I feel like it might add confusion because the reality isn't wanting to have sex with anyone but I still have hormones and my body tells me find a release. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
œddy Posted January 7, 2019 Share Posted January 7, 2019 29 minutes ago, Little Bear said: Do you think it's a bad idea to have the habit of masturbating to things that are of an aesthetic attraction (women in lingerie or whatever)? Fantasies that might be kinky and/or sexual too. I feel like it might add confusion because the reality isn't wanting to have sex with anyone but I still have hormones and my body tells me find a release. Why would it be a bad idea? Some ace people still have a libido and fantasies aren't reality. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted January 7, 2019 Share Posted January 7, 2019 6 minutes ago, œddy said: Why would it be a bad idea? Some ace people still have a libido and fantasies aren't reality. Just that it sometimes raises questions because some things excite me in fantasies so I have to remind myself that the reality is very different. I suppose I just wish I didn't have the libido. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Homer Posted January 7, 2019 Share Posted January 7, 2019 If you feel like doing it, do it. Or better, don't not do it because of some "label" or other. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Bronztrooper Posted January 7, 2019 Share Posted January 7, 2019 Your body can still experience arousal even if you aren't sexually attracted to anyone, not to mention that fantasies =/= attraction. I just view it as something to expedite the process of dealing with my libido. 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
will123 Posted January 15, 2019 Share Posted January 15, 2019 Not sure which thread I saw it in, but a male ace commented about guys treating their girlfriends badly. I know how he felt. I had seen it too. Even though I didn't know I was aro ace at the time in my 20s (I didn't really want/or incapable of having) a 'true' girlfriend, I knew I wouldn't treat a female that way. I thought I could be a better boyfriend than that if I ever was one but... 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Divide By Zero Posted January 16, 2019 Share Posted January 16, 2019 On 1/14/2019 at 5:11 PM, will123 said: Not sure which thread I saw it in, but a male ace commented about guys treating their girlfriends badly. I know how he felt. I had seen it too. Even though I didn't know I was aro ace at the time in my 20s (I didn't really want/or incapable of having) a 'true' girlfriend, I knew I wouldn't treat a female that way. I thought I could be a better boyfriend than that if I ever was one but... I don't understand why some women put up with being treated badly. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Homer Posted January 16, 2019 Share Posted January 16, 2019 On 1/16/2019 at 3:42 PM, Tuple said: I don't understand why some women put up with being treated badly. Many of the cases of bad relationships (of any kind) I have witnessed carry on because of some form of sunk cost fallacy. The longer it goes on, the harder it gets to get away from the situation. It's not only a question of getting away from the situation, but also admitting that you were wrong and/or made a mistake. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
œddy Posted January 16, 2019 Share Posted January 16, 2019 On 1/15/2019 at 1:11 AM, will123 said: I know how he felt. I had seen it too. Even though I didn't know I was aro ace at the time in my 20s (I didn't really want/or incapable of having) a 'true' girlfriend, I knew I wouldn't treat a female that way. I thought I could be a better boyfriend than that if I ever was one but... Even what appear to be 'nice' guys can treat women badly because its ultimately for something. In the words of the reverse dating-game 'kindness coins', "Girls are not machines that you put kindness coins into until sex falls out." 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
will123 Posted January 16, 2019 Share Posted January 16, 2019 5 hours ago, œddy said: Even what appear to be 'nice' guys can treat women badly because its ultimately for something. In the words of the reverse dating-game 'kindness coins', "Girls are not machines that you put kindness coins into until sex falls out." That is one way to look at it. Mind you a person (like myself) who has no relationship experience, anything other than 'bad behaviour' looks good. I never 'tried anything' in an attempt to have sex with a female (or male) so I really have no idea how the whole 'interaction works. Spoiler Like I've said before, I know about 'Inserting Tab A into Slot B', but I have NO idea how to get from Point A to Point B if you know what I mean. I hope you didn't think I was inferring that if I was 'nice' to a girl that she'd automatically want to have sex with me. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
œddy Posted January 16, 2019 Share Posted January 16, 2019 @will123 me neither, but I did have a desire for it for a long time due to my thought process (probably due to heteronormative media) that when you actually have sex its so amazing that it completely changes you and makes you desire it... 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Dreamsexual Posted January 16, 2019 Share Posted January 16, 2019 On 1/16/2019 at 6:56 PM, œddy said: when you actually have sex its so amazing that it completely changes you and makes you desire it... . Quote Link to post Share on other sites
will123 Posted January 16, 2019 Share Posted January 16, 2019 4 hours ago, œddy said: @will123 me neither, but I did have a desire for it for a long time due to my thought process (probably due to heteronormative media) that when you actually have sex its so amazing that it completely changes you and makes you desire it... If I desired sex when I was younger (in my 20s), it barely registered. If I was friends with a girl, that was good enough for me. I never made any attempt to take the friendship to the next level... 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Laplace Posted January 17, 2019 Share Posted January 17, 2019 2 hours ago, will123 said: If I desired sex when I was younger (in my 20s), it barely registered. If I was friends with a girl, that was good enough for me. I never made any attempt to take the friendship to the next level... I counted myself lucky if girls interacted with me for any other reason other than academics 😅. I wasn’t an abhorrent individual but I was solitary and apparently intimidating to speak to sometimes so I didn’t resonate with many. I was too focused on being as sociable as possible to even consider anything else. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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