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Pumpkin Spice Eggnog Latte

The AVEN Squirrels are demanding a ransom

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Pumpkin Spice Eggnog Latte

I have bad news for our budget.

The squirrels have decided that we need to double the amount of money we pay to them or else they will mess with the servers again.

Please remember to put this into account in the next report. Negotiations are not going as well as I would hope.

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Robin L

What in the name of Kermit are they doing here? Can't we just hire the NSA to take care of them? It'll be expensive, but will pay back in the long run. This has gone way too far.

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Mycroft is Yourcroft

Oh damn...

Robin's right, this has gone on long enough, we need to take care of it. Now. I think that it's time we target their nuts.

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Pumpkin Spice Eggnog Latte

The problem is that we need the squirrels for plausible deniability.

The good news is they are okay with half of their raise in acorns.

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Mycroft is Yourcroft

The problem is that we need the squirrels for plausible deniability.

The good news is they are okay with half of their raise in acorns.

Hm, well that certainly helps.

I suppose we could tap into that account I set up when I was in the UK, but I was hoping we could use that to buy the British Imperial State Crown one day :( I took a fancy to it when I visited the crown jewels last year.

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Kelly

I received this:

squirrel-note.png

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.Lia

Do we negotiate with terrorists? What's our official stance on this?

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Mycroft is Yourcroft

No, we should never negotiate with terrorists.

I think we need to take the initiative and sort this out on our own terms. How many squirrels EXACTLY do we need to run the server?

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.Lia

No, we should never negotiate with terrorists.

I think we need to take the initiative and sort this out on our own terms. How many squirrels EXACTLY do we need to run the server?

Huh?? Squirrels are detrimental to the running of the server! We need to get rid of them. We should call an exterminator. Or perhaps a cat. We can employ a few hundred kittens and cats...right? They're considered a business expense, aren't they??

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Mycroft is Yourcroft

No, we should never negotiate with terrorists.

I think we need to take the initiative and sort this out on our own terms. How many squirrels EXACTLY do we need to run the server?

Huh?? Squirrels are detrimental to the running of the server! We need to get rid of them. We should call an exterminator. Or perhaps a cat. We can employ a few hundred kittens and cats...right? They're considered a business expense, aren't they??

Oh dear, how embarrassing :O All this time I thought the squirrels were the ones who ran it, and that problems were due to them getting cheeky! My mistake.

And yes, I vote yes on the cat solution. It's cheaper and cuter than calling an exterminator, so I'm on board. I volunteer the services of my own kitteh, who has proven himself a capable hunter many times by catching moths (one of them was already dead, but I don't think he noticed).

Has anyone got any other ideas for taking care of this issue?

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Robin L

Holy wow, NOW we really need to get the NSA ASAP :o

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littlepersonparadox

Ok but if we get NSA on it they will be bugging our every move. Then again Big brother was already watching us anyway.

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Kelly

ransom%2Bsquirrel(1).jpg

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Mycroft is Yourcroft

We have a problem, the squirrels contacted Robin and I directly via a certain "Bucktooth McMuscle" through our blog:

Oi you, yeah you, I know you're a couple of those pricks from AVEN yeah that's right. We know where you are, we know what you're trying to do, and it's not going to work jackasses. Give back our nuts or we'll chew right through your pretty little server. And we wouldn't want THAT now would we?

Menacingly yours,
McMuscle

It seems their scope is far greater than we previously imagined, this is seriously getting out of hand.

All in favour of the cat solution?

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Kelly

*is in favor of releasing the cats*

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.Lia

I'm all for cats. Perhaps Tea can help: There is a shelter in Austin that is overcrowded and is running a fundraiser: Bring in a bag of food, and all adoption costs are waived. We could save kitties while using them for our own benefit.

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littlepersonparadox

Grab the cat's now! The squirrel's are planning to do something drastic. IF we don't give them what they want by March 31 at midnight they will strike and strike fiercely on April 2nd with something diabolical.

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Pumpkin Spice Eggnog Latte

I'm not in Austin but I used to volunteer at a no kill shelter here. I can see if any of the cats need foster homes.

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Kelly

Negotiations with McMuscle have not gone well so far.

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Heart

You're a brave soul Kelly. :wub:

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